


Reborn

by MelodeeKS99



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canon compliant up to episode IX, Earn Your Happy Ending, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Force Bonds, Force Hauntings, Gray Jedi, Other, Post TLJ, Psycho Hux, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo endgame, Save Ben Solo, Unofficial Sequel, redemption arc, reylo is endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-03-28 22:58:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 93,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13913952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelodeeKS99/pseuds/MelodeeKS99
Summary: A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away….The FIRST ORDER, led by Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, has seized control of every major system in the galaxy.  With the RESISTANCE all but destroyed, Ren and his KNIGHTS now hunt down all other FORCE-SENSITIVE individuals to ensure total supremacy and the irreparable end of the JEDI ORDER.Luke Skywalker’s sacrifice spread hope to many, but the death of General Leia Organa has dampened the spirits of the remaining rebels.  With Poe Dameron promoted to General, and anxious to continue the fight against oppression and tyranny, they endure in Leia’s honor and for the sake of the galaxy.Force-users in all systems are hidden away to keep them safe from being drafted into the FIRST ORDER, or killed.  Three Knights of Ren make their way to the planet Kalda in search of a powerful Force-user, unaware that Rey is on a similar path, sent by the REBELLION….





	1. Alone

**Author's Note:**

> This is my own imagining (wish fulfillment) for a sequel to Star Wars: The Last Jedi. I was really inspired by what JJ Abrams and Rian Johnson came up with for the new trilogy and though I really look forward to how JJ will end it, I had some ideas of my own I wanted to write and share.  
> I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> I owe much gratitude to "itslaurenmae" for beta reading for me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to itslaurenmae and aionimica for beta reading for me.

Darkness fell like a slowly rolled curtain, casting a shadow across the seaside town of Trin. A young human woman and an Wookie lowered their ship toward the planet, Kalda, in the Outer Rim.

Rey gazed out in awe as they hovered above the sea, just shy of the waves. She smiled watching one wave chase another, all the way to the coast where her ever surveying eyes were tempted toward tree covered hills and the small town nestled between them. “One of these days I need to return to the places we visit so briefly and really explore the land,” she said to Chewbacca who, these days especially, seemed to be her closest ally.

Chewbacca expressed his desire to stay in one place and Rey smiled benevolently.

“You can drop me off outside of town and return to orbit to stay out of sight. If Ben comes, it’ll be easier for him to spot the _Falcon_ than me. I’ll contact you when I find the Jedi.”

Chewbacca responded, his voice curious.

“I don’t know, Chewie. I hope he will, but he may not want any part in this war.”

Chewbacca’s soft response made Rey smile.

“We will. You be careful as well.  If you’re spotted, flee. We don’t want to lose you or the _Falcon_.”

With a small creature on her back, strapped within a long cut of sunshield fabric used to carry younglings, Rey made her way to the village. She crept in the shaded leeway of a dark alley, aiming for the market at the center of town. The primitive stone houses gave her bittersweet memories of her time on Ahch-To and she turned to see an orange sun setting over the sea, and sighed wistfully.

At the corner of a small building she stopped and scanned the open marketplace. None, but a lonely woman on the other side, remained. Rey returned to the shadows, circling the town in search of a direct path to her table.

The woman Rey had scoped, Coda Mise, was desperate for business. She couldn’t afford a shop like others, but could set up her table like the produce merchants and sell her salty treasures. She lingered when all others had gone home for dinner, hoping to make a sale.  

A lonely man, going by the name Caleb Baykune, stepped out from behind his shop and locked up for the night. He walked toward Coda’s table, stopping to browse the jewelry she made of objects plucked from the sand and sea; free supplies recycled to make a profit.

“Hello, Coda,” Caleb said.

“Ah. Good evening, sir. Can I help you find anything in particular?”

“Well, yes. I was hoping to buy another of those laurels to hang in the window of my home. You remember, right? With the shells and reflective pieces?”

“I do have one other, but it doesn’t have as many glass pieces.” She pointed to the garland so he could see for himself.

“Oh, but it has more shells,” Caleb proclaimed happily, as if he’d found a hidden treasure. “This must mean it costs twice as much as the others,” he insisted, pulling a sack of coins from the satchel at his hip and counting them aloud before the price could be discussed.

“Thank you,” she said soberly. She was well aware of his generosity and if she thought he couldn’t afford it, she wouldn’t have taken his money. He was wealthy, but generous, unlike others who acquire such great fortune. His neighbors refused charitable donations, so he patronized their shops and hired them for jobs - whether or not he could do them himself - claiming ignorance or ineptitude.  

People often asked, “Caleb, why are you so good to us?”

“It is the Jedi way,” he would respond and they laughed.

One day a boy said to his mother, “He must be crazy. The Jedi are a myth,” after they finished laughing with Caleb and walked away.

“I don’t think he meant to imply they are real, or that he would be one of them if they were,” the woman explained to her children. “He only means that the stories say Jedi were kind and charitable, and he aspires to be that way.”

“But, mother…” her youngest boy began, tugging at her shawl. “I…”

She shushed him quickly, looking around. “Not now, Bevyn. Not here.”

Caleb had smiled after them, his blue eyes sparkling cunningly, and pulled a notebook from his bag to write something down.

 

“Will you be able to get home okay on your own?” Caleb asked Coda as she wrapped the ornament he’d purchased in thin tissue paper.

“I’ll be fine, Caleb,” she said, holding his bundle out to him. “I’ll be here late, hoping to catch the fools who stay out too long at the cantina and hope to appease their wives with a lovely necklace or set of earrings.”

Caleb chuckled and took the package. “Okay, Coda.  You stay safe.”

“Goodnight, sir.”

Caleb nodded and left town for a small home atop a hill, overlooking the ocean.

Rey waited for the man to leave before approaching the table. With her back to the setting sun, she needed only to pull her hood forward to shade her eyes, and when he was out of sight, she crept forward to stand before the woman.

“Goodness! You’re quiet,” Coda said as Rey seemed to materialize in front of her. Rey was distracted by her creations for a moment and her silence made Coda nervous. “Now, I don’t want any trouble. If you’re new in town, you should know the city guard can hear me, and will be here in seconds if I call to them.”

“No. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. I think my mother had one similar to this,” Rey said, placing her fingertips on a shell at the center of a braided necklace made with a rough looking strand of dark brown twine.

“You think?” Coda wondered aloud.

“Yes. It’s... I haven’t seen her since I was very young.” Rey’s eyes fell sadly at the outer corners. She breathed in deeply and shook her head as if she were physically trying to jolt the memory from her brain. “Anyway, I’m looking for someone. I was hoping you could help me find him.”

“Oh,” Coda responded uncomfortably. The girl seemed kind, and innocent enough, but that didn’t mean her intentions were pure.

“I’m looking for a man who goes by the name Caleb Baykune,” Rey said, in a voice so sweet she almost surprised herself.

Coda stiffened and Rey could sense she was going to lie before she responded.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t know of anyone by that name.”

Rey smiled and slipped her hand from beneath the cloak, waving it from right to left as she murmured in a soft, seductive tone, “You will tell me where I can find Caleb Baykune, then you will forget about me as soon as I’m gone.”

Coda’s posture lifted, and her eyes clouded as her mind submitted to Rey’s trance-like manipulation. “He was just here. Caleb owns the shop there, where he sells communication devices, and works almost every day. In the evening, you can find him at his home.” Coda pointed toward the hills and the sea, near to where Chewbacca had dropped Rey off. “He lives in a hut on the hill, alone.”

_Kriff, just missed him._ “Thank you,” Rey said quickly, dropping a few coins on the table near the woman's hand and rushing back to the shadows. So, Caleb Baykune was here, as the records revealed, but was he the boy once known as Ezra Bridger? She needed to find him and if he wouldn't join the Rebellion, she would at least warn him about the First Order’s plans.

The man followed his usual path, thought of Coda as he walked, and smiled. His purchase meant she and her children would eat well for the next few days. She didn’t know the joy he felt watching the sun’s light sparkle on the inner walls of his house, but his contribution to the welfare of her family was more important than his amusement.

He climbed the hill, stopping every few yards to stretch his back and knees. The house was built while he was still in his mid-thirties and couldn’t, or didn’t think to try to, foresee the strain this climb would cause on his joints as he aged. He was healthy and strong, and his muscles could take it, but nothing could be done to help battered joints, treated unkindly over years of struggle and combat. “Might be time to move to lower ground, old man,” he said to himself.

The problem was, he preferred his higher ground. From this highland, he could see every ship that landed near Trin. His time on the _Ghost_ \- a rebel ship he inhabited with others after the rise of the Galactic Empire - had left him suspicious. He knew what people were capable of and had witnessed much evil in the galaxy. That was the reason he settled in this simple town, a place far from the any other, to live the remainder of his life in peace.

Unfortunately, the tranquility he reveled in for several decades was about to come to an end.

He stopped on the ridge above his conic adobe and sensed their presence: three young beings ransacking his home. He reached into his stachel and gripped the old lightsaber within. It had been neglected for many years, but he kept it close; to protect the hybrid of saber and blaster from any innocent, ignorant person, who could be harmed by it or who may try to steal it.

“Sir?” a voice came from behind him. She had finally caught up. He felt her presence outside of town; sneaking through and following him away. The Force was strong with her, even stronger than the three in his hut, and he could sense her movements easily.

_But she isn’t attacking, which means she may be an ally and not an enemy._

He turned and she examined his features: tan skin, sable hair, remarkable blue eyes, and a scar beneath his right eye composed of two, parallel lines. _He fits the description._

As they stood on the ridge, Rey could feel the presence of the Knights and felt simultaneous relief and disappointment Ben had not come, but could not afford the time to reflect on these warring emotions.

“Ezra Bridger?” Rey asked.

“How did you find me?” he wondered casually, confirming his identity.

“Someone was keeping records of all the Force-sensitive people they encountered or heard of over the years,” Rey explained. The wind on the ridge whipped loose hairs across her face and tangled her cape around her legs. She tucked the hair behind her ears, wrapped the cape securely to her body, and continued. “Near the end of his life, desperate to provide for his family, that man sold those records to the highest bidder.”

“The First Order,” Ezra grumbled.

“Right. After he died, and his family learned what he had done, they released the records publicly. That’s when we, the Rebellion, found them.”

“You’re calling yourselves the Rebellion now?”

“We are a Rebellion now.”

He smiled, charmed by this development. “I was part of the Rebellion once, long ago.”

“I know, Master Bridger.”

“Whoa. No. Not a Master,” Ezra said, waving his hands between them. “I may have considered myself a Jedi, but I was never a part of the Order. Just called me Ezra. And what’s your name?”

“Rey,” she replied.

“Nice to meet you Rey,” Ezra said.

“And you, Ezra. Now, if you’d please allow me to point you toward safety...”

“I can’t go.  I have records of my own, on people in the city below. They’re well hidden, but given time, the Knights will find them.”

“Don’t worry about them. I just need you to go to the other side of town where my partner will pick you up. I will handle the Knights of Ren,” she said eagerly.

“Just you and that small creature, against three Knights?”

“You sense he’s not as he appears? We could use you to teach others we’ve saved.”

Ezra sighed, unsure he could be of much help.

“Yes, me and my friend will be fine,” Rey assured him, returning to the task at hand.

“What is he? I’m not familiar with his species.”

“A Gupin,” the creature responded in a small voice. “I met the girl on Endor when the Rebellion saved my family from a land dispute gone awry.”

“I thought you a human child, by sight, but then I sensed your thoughts and knew I must be mistaken.”

Rey smiled. “The Gupins are changelings.”

“In order to protect my family, I will not take my true shape while assisting the Rebellion.”

“Baboo, you don’t have to put yourself in harm’s way,” Rey said, kindly.

“But I wish to help you,” Baboo responded. “Let us continue with this plan and return home.”

“Nice to meet you, Baboo,” Ezra said, nodding respectfully.  He shifted his focus to Rey, who had lifted her head abruptly as her gaze snapped to the small hut.

“They know we’re here,” she whispered.

“I sense it too,” Ezra said.

“Please go. I’ll alert my partner and he’ll pick you up. Just give him your true name.”

“And how will I know I’ve found the right ship?”

“My partner is a Wookiee named Chewbacca and he pilots a Corellian light freighter called the _Millennium Falcon_ ,” Rey responded with sharp clear words so he would remember.

Her precision was unnecessary. These were names Ezra had heard before. “That’s quite a list of credentials you have,” he said, impressed.

Rey smiled. “I consider myself quite fortunate. Now go!”

Ezra nodded, but hesitated to depart. “Take this.” He pulled his lightsaber out of the bag and handed it to Rey.  

She took it and thanked him while scanning carefully to help Baboo assume Ezra’s visage. The Gupin could only change through a telepathic image from another’s mind and when he had the image he jumped from her back, altering himself to match the appearance of Ezra Bridger: from his dark hair and cobalt eyes, to his clothes, satchel, and even his scar.

“Impressive,” Rey whispered, wondering if people often had this same odd feeling in the presence of clones, as if something was amiss, but one couldn’t quite place the reason. “Are you ready?” Rey asked.

Baboo nodded and stepped carefully down the hill toward Ezra’s hut. Rey looked back to see Ezra, already circling the town at an unnatural speed.

When Baboo reached the door and stepped inside, the three masked intruders stopped searching and turned to look at him, their postures straightening triumphantly.

“Ezra Bridger,” a mechanically modified voice came from behind one of the masks. “Your presence is requested with the Supreme Leader of the First Order. Come peacefully and you won’t be harmed.”

“I’m sorry, but you’ve got the wrong man,” Baboo said with Ezra’s voice, stalling to give the man more time to escape.

“Would you rather we call you Caleb?” She asked politely. “That _is_ the name you’re using, right?”

“My name is Caleb Baykune and I don’t understand what the Supreme Leader of the First Order would want with me. I’m just a simple shop owner.”

“Enough with the pretense, old man. We don’t have all day,” another, less patient, Knight said from behind the first. “We’ll call you Caleb if you’d like, but we know you are the Jedi named Ezra Bridger. You should have known we’d find you, using your Master’s first name,” he scoffed.

“Took you long enough,” Rey replied, stepping into the doorway, her body silhouetted by the fading orange light outside.

“It was foolish of you to come here,” the first Knight said smoothly.  

“Someone has to protect them,” Rey replied, stepping inside and pulling Baboo behind her back. She flicked her fingers, signally him to flee, and he rushed out.  

Once out of sight, he connected with Rey’s mind, changing into a convor and soaring high above the adobe.

The third Knight stepped forward from the dark corner where she waited quietly. She closed her fingers, pulling her first into her chest to gather the strength of the Force within. Suddenly she pushed her fist into the air, fanning her fingers as she used the Force to blow the roof and walls outward. “Find him!” she said to the other two. “I’ll deal with the girl.”

The others obeyed, jumped quickly from the rubble, and searched in every direction, but couldn’t see Ezra on the hills or near the sea. They rushed away to find him, leaving Rey and the third Knight behind them.

“What? You didn’t think they could get past me?” Rey smirked. “You had to destroy a perfectly good home?”

“We’re not here for you,” the Knight responded. “Not yet.”

Rey laughed bitterly. “I’ll never join the First Order. Didn’t your Master tell you?”

“You were foolish to refuse him. Just as you’re foolish to oppose me now.”

“Really?” Rey said, surveying the other woman thoughtfully. “So, tell me, what kind of person goes from training under Luke Skywalker to killing a bunch of children? You think that makes you strong?”

“You weren’t there. You don’t know what happened,” she responded through gritted teeth, igniting her lightsaber.  

“And now you and the rest of the Knights, skilled and trained for battle, hunt down untrained Force-users; once again killing innocent, helpless people. Is that why I should fear you?  Because you’re not above taking an innocent life?” Rey ignited the green lightsaber Ezra lent to her, circling the angry woman before her.   

“I’ve never taken an innocent life,” the woman hissed.

Rey’s eyebrows knit together as she considered this remark and the Knight’s inflection on the word ‘innocent.’

“Maybe you didn’t see them as innocent,” Rey said, remembering Luke’s vision of his temple burning, dozens of bodies lying dead on the ground, “but that’s not for you to decide.”

“That’s interesting, coming from a girl who would so quickly judge a man a monster, without knowing what he’s been through.”

_She doesn’t know of our connection,_ Rey thought. _She doesn’t know how we cared for each other, how I had forgiven him, offered my loyalty, and he betrayed me._

“He _is_ a monster!” Rey growled. “You’re all evil and you can call me foolish, but I won’t stop trying to protect the innocent people of this galaxy!”

Bored of discussing intentions with someone morally corrupt, Rey jumped, swinging the saber and bringing it down swiftly toward the Knight, who raised her own saber to block it. Bursts of yellow lit the air around them as green and red clashed together with great speed. Rey was surprised by the Knight’s skill and focused intently on each move, learning as she defended herself. The longer she could keep this battle going, the more time Ezra and Chewbacca had to escape.

Together, Rey and the Knight leapt from the ruins of the hut and battled on the hillside; not to save their lives, but for each one to prove herself. It was clear neither meant to seriously injure the other and Rey wondered if Ben had anything to do with it.

They separated for a moment, catching their breath, and Rey spun the weapon in a way that looked familiar to the Knight, who narrowed her eyes.

A bird squawked loudly from above and both women looked up, but the Knight was only distracted for a moment. As Rey searched the horizon for a ship, she was thrown back and the lightsaber flew from her hand, rolling down the hill away from her. Immediately, the Knight leapt to stand over Rey, her hand stretched forward, holding Rey down without a touch.  

She was incredibly strong with the Force and a light clicked on in Rey’s head. _Why does this always happen?_ Rey thought, admonishing herself for constantly forgetting the extent of her own strength. It never failed, she was caught up in battle and reverted to the lonely scavenger who could take down an entire gang with a stick, and forgot she could easily throw her opponent back with a wave of her hand.

Unfortunately, she was out of practice. She focused, pulled her hand back, and threw it forward. The Knight stumbled back, startled by the brunt of the blow, but quickly recovered, jumping forward with a swift swing of her saber. The blade grazed Rey’s waist, ripping her clothes as she cried out in pain.  

Anger pulsed through her, fueling the power within, and she jumped up. With Rey’s focus and determination renewed, she reached out for the saber, and once it was returned to her grasp she swiped with such strength, the Knight’s knees buckled and she stumbled again.

As they fought, several townspeople appeared; their presence motivated by the boom of ruptured hut and the flashing lights. A small boy stepped forward, intrigued by the sight and his mother wrapped her arms around him, pulling him back, her cry alerting the two in battle of their presence.

Both fighters tried to use this distraction, attempting to force the other back, but their powers only met between them and they pressed hard, each trying to save themselves from being thrown back.  

“You’re strong. I can see why they’ve been so impressed by you.”

“Stronger than you know,” Rey said, bearing down and pushing harder.

The Knight could feel she would lose and reached her free hand toward the crowd, tugging the young boy from his mother’s grip and hurling him above them at a dangerous height.  

“Bevyn!” His mother screamed, running forward.

Rey yielded and ran beneath the terrified child, who whimpered and flailed in the air. “Let him go!” Rey demanded.

“Alright,” the Knight said cooly. “Should I let him go from here?” the Knight asked, raising him twice as high. “Or maybe over here?” She suggested, flicking her fingers to carry him over the edge of a cliff.

“Bring him down!” Rey yelled. “You said you didn’t hurt the innocent.”

“Okay,” the woman said casually, pulling him back over Rey’s head.

She released her hold on the boy and gasps of terror came from the crowd. The boy’s scream pierced the air with a force behind it that stopped their hearts as he fell, but Rey tossed the saber aside and raised her hands, cradling him with the Force as her rival escaped.

After lowering the boy to the safety of his mother’s arms, Rey pulled out a comlink to call to Chewbacca. “I’m still on the hill. Do you have him?”

“I’m here,” Ezra said from the other side.

“The Knights have run off. Can you pick me up?”

“We’re clear up here. Be down in a moment.”

“I’m ready,” she responded and pocketed the device. She reached down and ran her fingers over the wound on her waist, but it didn’t bleed like a normal wound. This cut was already cauterized by the heat of the blade: all that the was left was a thin streak of blood and a two inch gash of dead skin.

“Are you alright?” the mother of the young boy came up to check on her.

“Yes.  Everything is fine. You may return to your home.”

“What about Caleb?” she asked, turning to scour the wreckage of Ezra’s home.

“He’s fine,” Rey assured her. “See. Here he is now.”

The _Falcon_ came into view and the townspeople stared in shock as the man rode down on the lowered ramp, then ran to Rey; all of it too unexpected to comprehend.

“Rey, we’ve got to warn the others before the Knights find them. I’ll destroy the list, but we’ve got to help them.”

“What others?” the woman asked. Ezra turned his head to look at her, and his brows raised sadly as he looked down at the boy in her arms.

“The First Order is hunting people who are strong with the Force,” Rey explained.

“Like your son,” Ezra added, and the woman gasped, squeezing the boy harder to secure her grasp.

“No. My son… He’s just a normal boy,” she said, her voice quivering with fear.

“A normal boy who can pull heavy objects from the top shelf in my store without help.”

The woman’s mouth fell open, and her son looked up at her guiltily.

“We have a place you can go,” Rey told the woman. “We won’t take your son against your will, but if you come with us, the Rebellion can keep you safe.”

Ezra found his list, and when the Knight’s ship disappeared from their scanner, he and Rey went into town to warn the others. One by one they visited the Force-sensitive inhabitants of Trin, warning them about the Knights of Ren and offering them safety with the Rebellion.

One older woman refused to go, claiming the Knights would not harm her. “I’ll probably die before they get to me,” she jested.

But four others joined them: the young boy, Bevyn, and his mother, Jaelle, and two teenagers - one boy and one girl.

“We’ll do our best to keep you safe,” Rey said as Chewie prepared the _Falcon_ to jump to lightspeed.

“And in the meantime, I can help you hone your powers and use them for good,” Ezra said, standing proudly before them.

“But, sir…” the young girl began, “how?”

“My name isn’t really Caleb Baykune. It’s Ezra Bridger and I was once part of the Rebellion against the Empire.”

They listened raptly to Ezra’s story as the stars flew past in streaks of white. When Ezra reached the point when he met Kanan Jarrus, Rey heard another voice. It was a voice no one else seemed to hear and she realized it came directly to her mind through the Force.

“Rey,” it said once, wavering as if she were hearing it from a great distance - through a wind storm. She turned her head and blocked out Ezra’s voice to focus on the other. “Rey,” it said more clearly.

“Master Skywalker,” she responded telepathically.

“Rey. You must visit the planet Ilum. There is a Jedi Temple there. Go _in_ alone.”

“What will I find there?”

“Your path, your place in this world, and what you need to continue your training.”

“But you said it yourself; the Jedi Order has to end.”

“The Jedi can return without reinstating the old Order as it was. You can create a New Order; one that will not repeat the mistakes of the old.”

“How?” she wondered, the pressure of responsibility weighing on her mind.

“Go to the temple on Ilum, Rey. This is the next step.” His voice began to fade. “Go to the temple,” it echoed, then disappeared.

When Rey looked up, Ezra was still answering questions from the young Force-wielders and Jaelle. Rey stood to join Chewie in the cockpit.

A soft growl came from her partner as she sat beside him. Rey looked down at her injury in response. “It’s fine. Baboo checked it for me; stitched the skin together and wrapped it. I’ll be alright. Thank you.”

He nodded and gazed out the viewport.

Luke said to go into the temple alone, but did that mean she must keep it a secret?  Did she have to go to the planet alone? Rey had become accustomed to having Chewbacca by her side; she didn’t want to leave him behind. _And what if that wasn’t really Luke?_  He said, “You can create a New Order…” which sounded suspiciously similar to Kylo’s offer in Snoke’s throne room.

_“It’s time to let old things die. Rey...”_ the flawless memory of his voice caused her heart to ache and her chest caved as tears filled her eyes. _“I want you to join me.  We can rule together; bring a new order to the galaxy.”_

_“Don’t do this, Ben,”_ she responded. Of all the times in her life she felt deprived of affection, so utterly abandoned, this moment was the most agonizing. They had only just regarded each other with mutual care and intimacy, and he had already broken her heart. How could she ever trust again when she sacrificed so much, only to have her credence crushed?

Rey lowered her head, putting her hand against her brow to shield her face as the tears fell. Chewie continued to stare forward, pretending not to see.

After landing on Endor, they introduced their new allies to a couple who would find them rooms and manage their care. Rey waited in the hall of the building, once used as a hotel for tourist after the battle on Endor had brought attention to the wild beauty of the forest moon.

“Don’t worry, Rey. I’ll look after them. Will you return soon?” Ezra asked, surprising her with his approach.

“You know I’m leaving?”

“I don’t imagine the Rebellion’s base is in the same place where you’re trying to hide and protect us.”

“No,” she responded, distracted.

“You’re concerned about something. You can trust me if you need to talk.”

“I heard a voice today. I’m almost positive it was Master Skywalker, but something he said reminded me of something someone else once said… and I’m worried it was a trap.”

“What was it?”

“He said I’m to start a ‘new order’ of Jedi to replace the old, but to learn from their mistakes,” she replied. How could she explain to Ezra what Ben had said? No one knew of their connection, and she feared the Rebellion would turn on her if they knew the truth. “I once received a similar offer from a… dark individual. He used that same phrase, ‘a new order.’”

Ezra considered this for a moment, then said, “I don’t necessarily think it was this ‘dark individual’ trying to manipulate you. It’s merely a coincidence that the word ‘order’ was used.  What concerns me is this responsibility being put on the shoulders of someone so young and, excuse my saying this, but someone with very little training.”

Rey nodded. “I believe he means for me to find allies and bring them together to train the next generation of Jedi, but without the pious, stringent, culture of the past Jedi Order. There was someone who I believed would be here with me, but…” her lower lip trembled and she couldn’t continue.

“Let’s not talk about that now. Tell me, what else did the voice say?”

“He said the next step for me is to go to the Jedi Temple on Ilum.” Rey’s tone was unsure, but when she looked at Ezra, he was smiling.

“You know it?”

“I do. I’ve never been, myself, but my Master once told me he visited there as an apprentice to the Jedi.”

“And…?”

“It’s an important next step for any Padawan,” he said, squeezing the lightsaber Baboo had found on the mountainside of Kalda and returned to him.

“What will I find there?” Rey asked patiently, hoping this was the correct question to get a more detailed response.

“Kyber crystals,” Ezra said simply. “Rey, you’re going to face the caves and to find a Kyber crystal so you can build your own lightsaber.”

Rey gasped and a large smile grew across her face.

* * *

“Supreme Leader, forgive me, but I simply don’t think it’s a good idea,” Hux said nervously, just waiting for an invisible force to toss him aside or slam him face first into the ground.  He was used to the abuse, but never knowing when it would come put him on edge.

_So be it!_ he thought so many times. _Let them throw me around, tear me down, and ignore my advice; it’s no worse than how father raised me. As long as I keep my position, someday I’ll rule them all._

“You presume to tell me…” Kylo Ren began, his low voice sounded from a large holocron, rumbling loose objects on Hux’s destroyer.

“No, Supreme Leader. I’m only suggesting, for _your_ safety, you take a squadron with you. Or even a few of your Knights. I don’t think it’s safe for you to travel alone. If the girl was strong enough to defeat Snoke…”

“She won’t find me. Even if she does, I know she won’t kill me.”

“How do you know?” Hux asked. His voice hinted at righteous concern, but conniving curiosity is what motivated this inquiry. Anything he could learn, anything Ren was hiding from him, put Hux that much closer to his ultimate goal - seizure - complete control of the First Order with no Sith to contend with. It wasn’t lost on him that Ren said the girl “will not” kill him, not that she _could not_.

“I can sense it,” Ren said, arrogantly. He didn’t have to answer to Hux, but would give him something to cling to. “Snoke manipulated her; made her think I was conflicted. She let her guard down and came straight to us, but Snoke underestimated her abilities. That’s why she killed the others, but only knocked me unconscious. She thinks there’s still good in me,” he said, his tone derisive.

“And you’re sure, even after Crait, she’ll consider sparing you?” Hux asked. Ren sensed Hux was hoping he might be wrong about Rey. This didn’t surprise Kylo Ren, but he would ignore Hux’s lust for his head, for now.

“I made a mistake on Crait,” the Kylo admitted.  

It pleased Hux to hear their leader deny his pride, and Kylo knew that. Though these two men had been adversaries for years, Ren was doing his best now to appease the General.  They would never truly be allies, but they would remain accomplices as long as they shared a common enemy.

Moreover, Hux _was_ right. Luke’s appearance had forced Ren into a rage, fracturing the short-lived, fragile, coaction between them. If Ren had listened to Hux, the Resistance would have been eliminated.

“You were right about me letting my personal feelings get in the way. It won’t happen again.  Next time we have a chance to end the Rebellion, I won’t hesitate. Now, if you insist, I will take a squadron on a small shuttle with me to Bakura.”

“Good,” Hux said slowly, a sly smile spreading across his face. “I will select the squadron to join you.”

“I want to leave soon. Are they near?” Ren asked impatiently.

“Yes. I have a favor to ask and I need to you take these soldiers in particular.”

“Very well. Send them and we will leave as soon as they arrive.”

Hux bowed his head and his hollow image vanished from Ren’s throne room. Ren sighed heavily, grateful to have resolved this task. He rose from his throne, walking slowly toward the window behind it. With the confrontation on Crait still fresh on his mind, thanks to his conversation with Hux, Ren’s lips pouted. The skin around his eyes fell sadly, his gaze lingering on the stars. This was what he wanted, so why wasn’t he happy? He was working to honor Darth Vader’s legacy and he was succeeding.

That was his plan, anyway. Now, he just felt lonely. Not long after Rey stumbled into the war between the First Order and the Resistance, Ren had become intrigued by her. He even imagined them standing in this place together, but she betrayed him; left him to die on the _Supremacy_ while joining the Resistance, bent on destroying him. Since that day, it became clear she hated him. She had pretended to be on his side so she could turn him, to aid the Resistance, but he had prevailed.

Kylo watched as a shuttle approached the hangar, but sensing only three bodies on board when he expected four, he narrowed his eyes curiously and made his way to greet them.

 

“He’s going to be angry,” Reeta said, removing her helmet and placing it on a shelf beside the ramp.

“He’s always angry,” Korden responded, brushing hair from his face and tucking his helmet under one arm.

They waited for the third Knight, Liss, to land the shuttle, and join them before activating the ramp. Kylo Ren stood waiting, stark still as they joined him, then followed away from the hangar bay down a long hall.

“What happened?” He demanded with a low growl, his jaw clenched.

_Your girlfriend showed up!_ Korden thought angrily, but when his Master’s head jerked toward him, he was silent, trying to close off his mind from intrusion.

“The scavenger girl was there, Lord Ren,” Liss said; her professional nature often positioning her as representative for the group. “I don’t know how they managed it, but the Jedi was there one minute and gone the next.”

“Did she speak to you?” Ren asked, his bitter mask splintering to reveal his true concern.

“I sent Liss and Korden to find the Jedi, then I faced the girl,” Reeta responded.

Kylo’s nose twitched irritably on one side. _Girl_ seemed an appropriate title when they first heard of Rey, but he didn’t see her as a girl anymore. She was an intelligent, powerful, beautiful Force-wielder: a woman by all accounts, but everyone still looked down on her. If they continued to underestimate her, it would lead to their ruin.

“She fights well, but lacks proper training,” Reeta added.

“She’s without a mentor, then,” Kylo wondered aloud. He had felt his Uncle Luke pass on, becoming one with the Force. He thought Rey may still communicate with his old Master. “Did you harm her?”

“You said we weren’t allowed to kill her,” Reeta said, her smile menacing and lovely.

“Not that we could if he allowed it,” Korden reminded her. Reeta was the most skilled with a lightsaber among the Knights, but the others knew she also exaggerated her proficiency in battle.  She may be capable, but not infallible and he sometimes took it upon himself to bring her down a few pegs, when she behaved particularly arrogant.

“I left her with a… tiny memento,” Reeta added. “Just a little scar to remember me by.”

Kylo Ren’s body tensed angrily, but he hid his rage well. “I’m not happy we lost the Jedi, but it seems there was nothing you could do,” he said with the forgiveness and patience of a good teacher. “I want you to discuss what happened with the others. Try to figure out what went wrong and how we can avoid it in the future.”

“We can avoid it by killing the girl!” Korden said indignantly.  

Kylo took a long stride ahead and turned to face them, his hand bent out like a claw, freezing them in place. “I’ve told you, we cannot kill her.” His jaw ached from the pressure of clenching his teeth and he relaxed, releasing them.

“You’ve told us we can’t kill her, but you haven’t told us why,” Korden said quietly.

“But we understand you must have good reason, my lord,” Liss added before he could lose his temper.

Since the former Supreme Leader had been killed, and Kylo was free of Snoke’s derision and abuse, he was less likely to lash out, but even when he was prone to outbursts, his Knights were never in danger. They were the nine people he trusted most; the ones who were there during the most difficult time of his life - who joined him when his master and uncle had failed him.

**_But_ ** when it came to threatening Rey, no one was safe.

He longed to be forthright with his Knights, but his action was so treasonous, he was sure they wouldn’t understand. They were his Knights, but all answered to Snoke. It was Snoke who came for them when they were in need: when the other students accused Ben of killing Luke Skywalker. If The Knights of Ren knew it was Kylo who killed Snoke, he believed they would turn on him.

Instead, he closed his mind to all of them, keeping them in the dark completely, guessing why he wouldn’t allow them to kill the one who, they believed, had murdered their Supreme Leader. Every time they wondered why they couldn't kill Rey, he had to focus concentration away from the automatic response which was: _Because if you kill her, it would destroy me._

Sitting alone in his throne room later, Ren wondered if Rey was facing these same obstacles.  Did she have to hide their connection from the Resistance, and lie about what happened in Snoke’s throne room, or did the Rebellion know everything? Did she have people who trusted and supported her completely?

He once believed he had her support. He had been positive that once she accepted the truth about her parents, she would realize she had no other loyalties and they could be together. Why fly to the _Supremacy_ if not to be with him? Was that not a display of loyalty?

_Apparently not. As soon as she got the chance, she tried to attack me then ran back to the Resistance. And as if that weren’t bad enough, she had to fly in on the Falcon to oppose me,_ he thought angrily.

He thought she returned to Luke, gave him the saber, and persuaded Luke to attack him. His anger then was so belligerent he couldn’t think clearly. He didn’t see how Luke’s movement had no effect on the volatile, salty earth. Didn’t consider that he looked exactly the same as he had seven years ago, and was holding a saber that was, in fact, broken in half.

All Ren could see was another person who let him down - another man who Rey chose over him, and he snapped.

“Ben,” a voice said, soft and wavering.

He stood quickly and scanned the room. “Who’s there?” he asked calmly.  

“It’s me, Ben,” Luke said, appearing before him, an azureous light encompassing his transparent form.

Kylo Ren stared for a moment, then sat, facing away from Luke.

“Well, pretending not to see me is an improvement to trying to Maul me,” Luke teased.

Ben didn’t bother to ask if he was referring to being attacked, or using a pun to describe how Ben had tried to cut him in half as Obi-wan - or Ben Kenobi - once cut the Sith, Darth Maul. Young Ben Solo had often asked his Uncle Luke to narrate that battle; it was one of his favorite childhood stories, and being name after the hero of the story made him feel special.

The nostalgia touched his heart faintly, and he winced away from it. “What do you want?”

“Nothing,” Luke said. “I don’t want anything from you.”

Kylo Ren narrowed his eyes, considering his response. “So, you’re just here to guide me, then? You want to help me… now?!”

“Something like that,” Luke responded.

Ren stood, walking closer to the ghost of his uncle. Staring down at him contemptuously, he said, “I don’t need guidance. I needed you when I was younger.  It’s too late now!”

Then her voice returned to him, as it so often did. This time, it was the moment she told him she had never felt so alone. He contended, told her she wasn’t alone and the memory pained him so deeply he visibly flinched. Luke saw it, but didn’t ask what was on his mind. He simply let his nephew remember and feel. _“Neither are you,”_ she had said. Then, _“It isn’t too late.”_

“Did she get that from you?” Kylo wondered, then explained, “She said it wasn’t too late for me.” He didn’t have to explain who he was talking about.

“No, Ben. She learned _that_ from you; when she saw the mistakes I made and realized there was still hope for you.”  

“I didn’t know if you would warn her of my evil and train her to kill me or tell her the truth about what you did and ask her to forgive me. I wasn’t sure what mattered to you most; the good of the galaxy or the redemption of your family.”

“Does it have to be one or the other?” Luke asked. He paused to let Ben consider that, then said, “She came to me, afraid of your power, begging me to help the Resistance. You asked about my loyalties? At that point, I had none. I refused to go and told her the Jedi have to end.”

“Snoke read all that from her mind. I have to say, I was surprised.”

“It was because of you Ben. What I did was unforgivable. My intentions… well, does that even matter now?  It happened. A fleeting moment of thinking I had to take your life to save the galaxy of the vile crimes you would commit, and the deed was done. Maybe I even pushed you into it. You didn’t know the guilt or the shame I felt. You didn’t see that I had already changed my mind. You saw your uncle standing over you, ready to deal a fatal strike, and I’ll always regret that.”

Ben nodded slowly. He turned away from Luke to stand at the window and gaze out at the stars again. So many painful memories, so much to consider, to remember, and to achieve.  Sometimes he wished he could pull it all from his mind, only keeping the fond memories to give his heart a break from the agony. Or maybe he could remove the happy memories and give into the dark completely.

“What happened after you buried me in the remains of your hut?” Luke asked.

Ben lowered his head and closed his eyes, letting the memory play in his mind for Luke to see.  

_Ben climbed from the rubble, clawing at the earth to pull himself out from under a broken beam.  On his knees he fell forward, touched his head to the cold grass, and sobbed flagrantly - the pain in his heart so overbearing he thought it would cease. Should he call his mother and father? Would they understand? No. He had just killed his uncle. His mother would be heartbroken and his father would be angry. They would probably never speak to him again and that would destroy him - but if he left them..._

_“HELP ME!” He cried out desperately, reaching out through the Force, sending his plea out across the universe. There was that voice, the voice that had been there for all is life; speaking to him and guiding him. Who did it belong to and would he come for Ben now when he needed it most?_

_A piece of the broken hut fell behind him and Ben jumped, scared that Luke may somehow have lived and would come after him once again. Ben rose quickly from the ground and ran to his friends. Others in nearby huts came out, reacting to the cries and screams which followed the burst._

_“What happened?”one student asked, rubbing her eyes to clear the sleep._

_“What’s going on?” another asked impatiently. He looked angry to have been woken and glowered at Ben. When he saw the mangled scree where Ben’s room once stood, his eyes widened._

_“Are you okay?”another girl asked._

_“Dev!” Ben cried, relieved to see her. “Dev, help me. Please,” he whispered desperately, grabbing her shoulders. She and Ben were two of the oldest Padawans and had been good friends most of their lives._

_“Of course. What do you need?”_

_It was exactly what he needed to hear and he exhaled, dropping his head. His dark hair fell over his face and she put a hand on his shoulder._

_“Come with me,” Dev said, and nudged his shoulder to her left, leading him up the hill toward another hut._

_“Reeta.  REETA! Wake up!” Dev said, walking in toward Reeta’s bed, and shaking her awake._

_“What is it?”_

_“Ben’s in trouble.”_

_Reeta sat up and Ben walked in.“Listen, I know this going to be hard to believe, but Master Skywalker tried to kill me,” he said._

_Both girls froze, their eyes and mouths opened wide.  Dev lost the strength in her legs and lowered herself down to sit beside Reeta on the bed._

_“I woke up and he was standing over me with a crazed look on his face, his saber lit and ready to strike. I reached for my saber and pulled it forward to block,” Ben wept, the tears falling quickly from his eyes, “but he was so strong. Out of pure instinct to survive I reached up and brought the roof down on him. The walls and roof caved in, burying us both and I climbed out, but I think....”_

_They anticipated his next thought and covered their mouths, simultaneously horrified._

_“I didn’t mean to kill him.”_

_“You killed Master Skywalker?!” someone asked, caustically. They turned to see an older boy standing in the doorway._

_“It was an accident!” Dev said in Ben’s defense, pulling herself up from the bed, and moving to stand between Ben and the furious boy._

_“Well, I’m contacting the authorities,” the boy said, storming off._

_“What am I going to do?” Ben asked hopelessly._

_Reeta jumped from her bed, grabbed a practice staff, and ran out of the tent after the boy. Dev and Ben followed her outside, then stopped to watch as she chased him down and hit him over the head, knocking him out.  Other Padawans were leaving their huts to see what the commotion was about. Several of Ben’s close friends went straight to him, believing this older student, and nephew of their Master, would be able to answer their questions._

_“I don’t think we should stay here,” Dev said._

_Suddenly, a loud bang rang out from above and everyone looked up in awe as a massive star destroyer appeared in the sky. Almost immediately, a transport disembarked toward the planet._

_“It’s here for me,” Ben said._

_“How?” Korden asked, doubtfully._

_Ben looked down from the sky at the friends who’d come to him , and said, “There’s this voice. This… presence… It’s been with me all my life, guiding me, helping me. He says we don’t have to follow the rules of the old Order. We can use the power of the light and the dark and become powerful Jedi. I’ve been scared, but now I know what I have to do. My uncle was a good man, but he was afraid of my power and almost killed me because of it. Some of you don’t already know: I woke up this night with my uncle Luke standing over me, his lightsaber ready to strike me down. Is that the kind of Jedi we should aspire to be? I want to be better and if you all join me now, we will work together and be great together.”_

_“Who is he?” Reeta asked, her eyes alight with excitement._

_“I don’t know his name, but he is powerful with the Force and has assured me many times that it is my destiny to follow in the footsteps of my grandfather, to be the strongest Force-wielder this galaxy has ever known, and to help him take control from the New Republic.”_

_“But… Ben, the New Republic is good. They will insure peace and justice in the galaxy,” Dev said, worried by what she was hearing. Both their parents worked for the New Republic; she knew he had issues with his parents, but she never heard him speak of overthrowing their government to rule the galaxy._

_“The Republic is failing. We’ll bring peace and justice through the power we’ll possess with the help of my new master and his army.”_

_His friends surrounding him, twelve of his closest companions, looked at each other, trying to gauge the reactions of the others.  Some seemed excited by the prospect of escaping this strict, structured environment and learning from someone new. Some seemed greedy for the power Ben promised. A few seemed to make their minds up based on their friendship with Ben, sympathizing with the boy who had almost been killed by his own uncle._

_Dev looked scared and Ben began to doubt she would join him. The truth was, she believed in the New Republic, but she also wanted to support and protect her friend, just as he had always done for her. One would think that Ben Solo, the only Skywalker of his generation, would surround himself with the most powerful and easily loved students, but no, Ben was kind to everyone and his friends were the outcasts, the people who struggled until he took the time to help them. The outsiders who seemed strange or nervous, until he took the time to know them._

_The large transport lowered swiftly, blowing dust up from the earth, and lighting the ground around the huts. A General of the First Order descended the ramp and walked toward Ben with a kind smile on his face._

_“Young Solo, we have come to save you. Your new master is eager to meet you.”_

_“Okay, but I want to take my friends with me.”_

_The officer tilted his head slightly and looked at the other students._

_“Fine, but hurry. We must go before the Republic arrives. You have five minutes to grab your things and we’ll be on our way.”_

_Ben’s room had been destroyed. He looked down at the object in his hand: had he really been holding it this entire time? He remembered the day Luke had taken him to Ilum to face the caves and earn his Kyber crystal. He was excited to show his parents after, but his father didn’t understand his excitement and his mom, though briefly enthusiastic, was called away shortly after for business._

_Ben dropped the saber on the ground and raised his chin proudly. “There’s nothing else I need.  Just wait for my friends, then take me to the Supreme Leader.”_

_The General nodded and led Ben up the ramp and to his quarters._

_He watched out the window, keeping an eye on the chrono and waiting for his friends. Would they be willing to leave their lives behind and join him? Some looked willing to follow, but others appeared bothered by his appeal._

Luke’s eyes were closed. He watched the vision through Ben’s eyes as the desperate young man was pleading with the universe for his friends to join him. He was terrified to leave everything behind and join this stranger who had haunted him since he had a mind to corrupt, but he was even more afraid to face his family and the rest of the galaxy once they learned he had killed Luke Skywalker.

Reeta was the first. She ran up the ramp with a small bag of clothes and every weapon she could carry from her room, eager to become as strong as Ben believed they could be. Neither Ben nor Luke was surprised by that. Next was Kat with two other girls, Alexia and Dani, and then brothers, Korden and Eli. Anaya and Liss were next, and Dev was the last. Ben didn’t like that it took his oldest friend until the last minute, but he knew it was a difficult decision to make and they weren’t given much time to make it. Whatever the reason, she had decided to join him and he was pleased he wouldn’t be alone.

“That’s enough,” Luke said calmly as the transport lifted off to return to space.

Ben raised his head and looked down at Luke, his eyebrows raised.

“You didn’t kill them,” Luke said, a hint of relief in his voice.

“No,” Ben said quietly. “I did approve the bombing of your Temple from the destroyer, but I had no control over the second shuttle that came down and killed the other students.  It was always a part of Snoke’s plan to wipe out the Jedi, for good.”

Luke sighed, heavily.

“Don’t be too relieved,” Ben said. “I’m not innocent of murder. It was difficult at first, but Snoke insisted it needed to be done, and I was loyal to my Master. The more lives I took, the more powerful I became.”

“Ben, that wasn’t power. Those murders ripped you apart. What good is strength when it rips you apart?”

“Instability has worked well for me. I’m now the Supreme Leader of the First Order, the strongest power in the galaxy.”

“You’re a sad young man. You’re intelligent and powerful, but your life is not your own. You’re serving this greater purpose because you’ve been told that’s what you’re meant for, but you don’t even know the truth of the legacy you aspire to. Without joy and love to accompany your success and grief, you’re only living part of a whole life you could have.”

“So, I need to find someone I love to share this with?” Ben scoffed.

“Don’t scoff at love, Ben.  It makes you sound immature.”

“The truth is, I thought I had someone to share it with, but she betrayed me.”

“You need to let go of this foolish desire for power. And Rey did not betray you, kid. Let me show you the rest of the story.”

This time, Luke focused on his memories to share with Ben.

_Rey appearing with Luke's lightsaber and he denies her. Rey insisting he help them because the First Order was taking over the galaxy and Kylo Ren was beyond help - completely taken over by the dark side, but Luke still refused to help. Luke telling Rey why the Jedi must end, and Rey claiming Luke wasn’t to blame, that Kylo had let him down._

Then her opinion changed.  

_Rey and Ben reaching for each other; two lonely souls with tears in their eyes as they realize what amity can do to a heart. Rey, standing in the rain, asking Luke if she now had the truth, that he had created Kylo Ren. Rey telling Luke there was still light in Kylo Ren and that if she went to him, he would turn. Luke watching as the Millennium Falcon flew away._

“She handed her life over to you - put herself in danger because she saw the good in you and wanted to save you. I’ve seen her only a few times since then, and she told me what happened.  You killed Snoke to save her life. She asked you to save the fleet, including your mother, and you were only interested in letting everyone else die so the two of you could rule the galaxy together.”

Ben scoffed and turned away from Luke.

“You both sacrificed for each other, but you sacrificed for power while she offered her life.  You’re not stupid, Ben, and you’re not a child. You know the difference between right and wrong. So sit on your mighty throne and brood over how she betrayed you, and she let you down, but you know the truth.”

“Tell me then, uncle, what is the truth?! Because the way I see it, she had a chance to make peace with me, and instead she reached for the saber to attack me, then left me for dead when the ship cracked in half.” His fists were clenched and his voice was rising, though he had worked so hard to stay calm.

“The truth, Ben…” Luke began calmly, stepping closer. He sighed and looked at him kindly. “The truth is, your parents let you down. _I_ failed you. Rey did not.”

Ben turned away from Luke, trying to harden himself against the misery this truth inflicted.

“It reminds me of something Rey said,” Luke continued. “Something about how my mistake hadn’t been my fear of the darkness in your future. My mistake was not seeing that your mind wasn’t made up. There’s still time for you, Ben. You have every right to be troubled by what has happened, but you also have a chance to stop it from ruling your life. You can take back control.”

Ben stared at him blankly, unable to speak. A war was raging inside his mind and he couldn’t pick a side. Luke began to fade from the room and Ben’s vision cleared.

“Goodbye, Ben. Remember, it isn’t too late.” Luke smiled, then vanished.

* * *

Finn and Rose stood rigidly on a small stage - austere expressions and new green uniforms pressed to perfection. There was a podium where Poe stood, and they all squinted under the bright light of the noon sun.

A small crowd from the nearby town of Katera gathered at the front of the stage to hear the speech. They knew the Rebellion was stationed here and kept the secret of their base from the First Order, but not many had joined the small faction left after the First Order destroyed the Hosnian system. After the battle of Crait, there were only two dozen of them, and their group only doubled in size over the next two years.

“Are you ready?” Poe asked the man controlling the microphone. Large speakers on both sides of the stage would send the waves of his voice far for many to hear, but most importantly, this speech would be recorded and broadcast around the galaxy. They made sure to choose a setting not easily identifiable to keep their base a secret, but Poe insisted his voice be heard and their faces be seen.  He wanted the people of the galaxy to know who was fighting to save them from the control of the First Order.

“Yes, sir,” the man responded.

Poe turned to the camera operator who nodded, then he pulled a piece of parchment from the inside pocket of his jacket, unfolded it, and smoothed it flat upon the podium with his palm. “Okay.  I’m ready.” Poe stood tall, raised his chin slightly, and cleared his throat. The camera light flickered red and the operator pointed at Poe to signal he was on.

“Hi. My name is Poe Dameron and… I’m a pilot,” Poe began simply, a handsome smirk faintly visible on his mouth. “All I wanted to do, my whole life, was soar through the sky and through space in an X-wing - to be a protector of the people in the name of the New Republic. Now, I’m a General too. The Republic has fallen and the First Order has taken over. We are no longer a Resistance: we are the Rebellion!” he said firmly, his fists tightening where they rested on the podium. “There aren’t many of us left and that’s why we now look to you to consider joining.  The late Commander Holdo once said, ‘We are the spark that will ignite the fire that will restore the Republic.’ She truly understood the importance of democracy, but before we can restore the Republic, we need to use this fire to burn the First Order down,” he said, repeating the words he once used in a time of desperation to salvage the waning Resistance.

“This woman behind me is Rose Tico. She grew up on the planet Hays Minor in a small town just west of Orwan Port. The First Order stole their ore for iron to build their destroyers and killed the landowners who tried to stop them.  When Rose was only four years old, they killed her parents, and she and her sister were forced into hiding. This inspired Rose and her sister... Paige, to join the Resistance.” His voice broke when he spoke her name, choked from regret and guilt, and shame filled his mind. He didn’t want his own feelings to weaken her memory. Her name deserved to be spoken clearly, with pride and love. “Paige and Rose stepped up to fight against the First Order so other children would not have to witness or experience the horrors of Hays Minor. Paige sacrificed her own life to destroy a Dreadnaught the First Order designed and built for a single purpose, to kill anyone who stood in their way.

“On the other side of me is Finn. Finn is a name I made up because we don’t know this man’s real name. He doesn’t know where he’s from and he doesn’t have a family because the First Order kidnapped him as a baby and forced him into their Stormtrooper program. They gave him the title FN-2187 and trained him to obey: stuck him among the ranks of those whose purpose is to fight their battles and die for their cause. If the First Order wants you dead, these troopers won’t come to you and ask what you’ve done. There is no judge and no jury. They will eliminate you because that’s what they’re trained to do. We’re fortunate that something special happened to Finn the first time he was handed a weapon. He felt the immorality of what he was asked to do and refused to kill for them, but he is only one of hundreds of thousands. They won’t hesitate to come to your home, take your children, and manipulate their minds to kill and die for the First Order.

“Rose and Finn are people just like you. They are two people born into this galaxy to live simple lives, but both of their lives were disrupted by the First Order. They didn’t start this war and they didn’t plan to become soldiers. If you’re a person who wants to join, but you’re not sure you possess the skills to assist, let that fear go. We need all the help we can get. We need you.

“The First Order believes that the people of this galaxy don’t want a democratically-run society.  They believe you would rather be told what to do. Maybe some of you do, but what happens when they expect you to do something you don’t want to do? What happens when they expect you to give them your wages? How will you respond when they want absolute control over your life; when they regulate the words you speak? What will you do when they demand you hand over your children to be part of their army? Don’t let them rule your lives. Join us and help fight the tyranny and evil of the First Order.”

“So you want us to die for your cause instead?” a man yelled from the crowd. Poe craned his neck to search for the owner of the voice. The man he found was old and withered, with wrinkles in his face deeper than the crease between Poe’s eyes as he scanned the crowd.

“No, sir. Of course I don’t want anyone to die, but if you will, let it be for yourself, your people, or your family, and not simply because you refuse to kneel to the dark side.”

The crowd cheered, inspired by Poe’s speech. The red light of the recorder vanished, Poe smiled, and turned to his captains.  

“How did I do?”

“You were great!  Rose said.

That was all the assurance he needed. “Wonderful! I’m going to go talk to some of these people.  You should too!” He jumped down from the stage and began introducing himself to younger members of the crowd whom he might encourage to join the Rebellion, enticing them with his confidence, charm, and capability as a pilot. They had all seen him, flying over their village in his black x-wing, maneuvering in ways that made those only slightly interested practically begging to be taught to fly.

Rose and Finn smiled at each other then separated, jumping down on opposite sides to do the same.

 

“Did he plant that guy in the crowd or are people just that predictable?” Finn asked as they walked back to their quarters after Poe’s speech. The man’s question was clearly one they feared people would have and Poe’s response seemed planned.

Rose shrugged. “I don’t know, but it was a good response.”

Finn nodded and looked at her thoughtfully. He smiled and slid the palm of his hand against hers, crossing their fingers and linking them together as they walked beneath the mountain where the base was built into the rock. “It was, but do you think it will work? And how will they know how to contact us if they want to join?”

“You didn’t hear the message?”

Finn’s eyes widened and he looked sideways at her.

Rose giggled. “He gave directions to where a group of Rebels will wait and vet those who come to see if they’re genuinely interested in joining the Rebellion.”

“I didn’t notice.”

“Did you see him tapping his fist?”

“Yes, but I just assumed he was excited.”

“He tapped his right fist when he said ‘planet,’ ‘Hays Minor,’ ‘west,’ and ‘four.’”

“But... all of that… about you, was true.”  

“Yes, it was. The First Order will be able to confirm those facts about my life and maybe they’ll ignore it, but most people won’t. Plus, he didn’t have to give all that information, but it worked with his point, which was to shine a light on the fact that, because of the First Order, my life has been turned upside down. And, it helped him with the directions.”

“Okay, so planet, Hays Minor, west, and four. That’s pretty vague.”

“Yes. Four planets west of Hays Minor is _this_ planet, Arceleon. Then he tapped his left fingers when he said, ‘left,’ ‘On the other side’ and ‘2187.’ There’s a shop here with the name ‘On the Other Side.’”

“There is?” Finn asked. “That’s weird. Why is it called that?”

“I don’t know. We didn’t give it that name. Whatever! It’s called ‘On the Other Side’ and to the left of that is an alley. If someone were to go down that alley, they would find a door leading to a secret room below the shop. They just have to give the code.”

“Two-one-eight-seven,” Finn said proudly.

“Yep.”  

“Okay, but the First Order isn’t stupid. They’ll figure that out!”

“They might. Then they’ll send someone to scout the area and they may even find the building and the door. They’ll give the code and be led inside to speak to a young woman who will introduce herself as Dominique.”

“Wait, you got all this from the speech?”

“No, silly. Poe had me set this up with the shop owners.”

“So, who’s Dominique?”

“Remember that Force-sensitive who came here and she couldn’t fight… like, at all?”

“Yeah. She was terrible at sparring.”

“But she was highly intelligent and, it turns out, very strongly connected to the Force. She can read your mind in an instant and she’s very good with mental manipulation as well.”

“Great. So, she’ll read their minds, and if they’re from the First Order, she’ll send them back with the idea they didn’t find anything.”

“Yep!”

“Excellent.” He nodded enthusiastically then shook his head and said, “I can’t believe I didn’t notice the gestures.”

“Well, he did have his back to you. Anyone truly interested will figure it out.”

“I hope it works,” he said, his tone anxious, but faithful.

She stopped walking, let go of his hand and pressed her palms to his chest, backing him into the wall and leaning close to kiss him. They held each other, letting themselves be carried away for a minute before Rose stopped, stepped back, and walked away.

“Hey. Where are you going?” Finn asked, jogging after her and grabbing her hand again.

“I’ve got work to do. You’re welcome to join me, after I get this uniform off and changed into something more practical, but I don’t have time to mess around.”

“Okay then,” Finn responded, smiling at her. Her dedication to the Rebellion was a constant reminder of why he loved Rose. She was hard working, loyal, and good - among other things.  Poe had announced to everyone that he had no family, but the truth was the people of the Rebel Alliance, and even BB-8, _had_ become his family. Finn still longed to know where he came from, and if his relatives survived, but he wasn’t alone.


	2. Unconditionally

“Rey, just _look_ at me… please,” Ben begged, desperately. “I didn’t mean to disappoint you. I’ve apologized... so many times. What else do you want me to say? What can I do? Please, tell me. I need you, Rey…” Ben dropped to his knees and bowed his head, but just as she had done every time they were connected since Crait, Rey kept her back turned to him and refused to respond. “I can’t do this anymore.”

_“You should have thought about that before. It’s too late now. She’s already seen you for what your truly are.”_

It didn’t matter that Snoke’s voice had existed in his head since before he was born, his presence would always feel alien; an agonizing invasion Ben would eternally be victim to. And he tried… so hard to free himself.

Even as a child, with all his might, he clenched his tiny fists and squeezed his eyes shut, focusing to try and shield himself from the strange, dark, feelings that filled his heart, and that cruel, contemptuous voice that broke him down, and tried to mold him into something evil.

He had trouble sleeping, cried, and begged his parents to help, but it was impossible for a child to fully interpret what was happening - the extent of the intrusion - and when he told them it felt “bad” and “scary,” they would look at each other with concern for the darkness possibly passed down from Leia’s father, then tell him to try and ignore it and focus on the light.  

“You know what is good and bad, Benny,” Leia would say. “Don’t be afraid, that will only lead you down the wrong path. If you’re ever confused, we can help you.”

But they couldn’t help him, and after years of hoping his parents would save him from the monster who haunted him day and night, Ben realized he could only rely on himself. He fought alone against the darkness for so long, until he was finally convinced it was the darkness he was meant for, and left his life behind to accept his fate.

“Get OUT of my head!” Ben gnarled, balling his fists and striking his forehead with his knuckles.

 _“You’re a murderer. You betrayed her and she’ll never forgive you for what you’ve done. You will never have her love!”_ Snoke’s voice grew powerful and every inch of Ben trembled as if thousands of insects crawled just beneath the surface of his skin, causing every muscle to cringe.  A hoarse laugh echoed in his ears, rattling his brain, and dismantling his resolve. “ _You don’t deserve her and you never will. How could someone so good love... a monster?”_

Ben curled forward, pressing his head to his knees and surrendering to the words, weeping for the loss of his soul and the only woman he ever hoped to love.

Then, something smacked him in the cheek and he woke from his nightmare, sat up and looked down to see Rey, deeply asleep beside him. She had turned over and her arm fell, landing on his face, before either of them realized they had been connected.

Ben’s heart hammered speedily inside his chest. This had never happened while they were sleeping. If she woke up and saw him beside her, she would probably attack him. He wondered if he should rise and hide until the connection expired, then she said his name.

“Ben. Ben, don’t go.”

“Rey?” He whispered, tears accumulating quickly. She had refused to speak to him since Crait; to hear her say his name so tenderly, and ask him not to go, was enough to heal every tear ever ripped through his tattered heart. To go from a nightmare of Snoke’s abuse to this... Ben shook his head, wondering if he may still be dreaming.

“Ben, I… I don’t know what to do. How can you let them die? Don’t… please… don’t kill them.” Rey was frowning now, her face pained, and he wanted to wake her, to save her of the nightmare she now entered into to, but he knew better.

“It’s okay. I won’t.” He wasn’t even sure what she meant or if she would register is response, but her incognizant vulnerability moved him to tell her whatever was needed to comfort her.

“Thank you, Ben.” She smiled and his tears fell.

After the nightmare he endured, there was nothing that could have soothed him as entirely as Rey’s smile. He only wished she knew.

* * *

 “So he’s heading straight for the beam…” Rose said, holding her hands parallel to each other to display a forward motion.

“ _Straight_ for it. It was _hot_!” Finn added. “Metal was melting away from the speeder as I flew forward. I just… decided to do it and didn’t think twice.”

“Completely determined,” Rose said, shaking her head at Finn. He stood behind where she sat and put his hands on her shoulders, squeezing gently.  

“So, what did you do?” Dylan wondered, completely invested in their story. Dylan was a new recruit with the Rebellion and, as many did, she came to them curious about what had happened on Crait between the rapidly diminishing Resistance and the First Order. The story was legend and though it had been two years since, many hesitated to join, or had been too young to immediately leave their families.

Rey sat nearby, listening with a smile, shaking her head. She had heard this story many times, and was always amazed by Finn’s bravery, though never surprised he would sacrifice himself for his friends.

“Well, I wasn’t going to let the idiot kill himself,” Rose continued. “I turned back, forcing the acceleration pedal down as far as it would go, and luckily I got there before he hit the canon. I knocked him off track and that’s when we crashed to the ground,” she said, touching the scar on her nose.

Dylan leaned forward, eyes wide with surprise. “You crashed into him... to stop him from killing himself?” she said amusingly, leaning back and laughing.

“Then she said the most amazing thing to me,” Finn spoke intently, grabbing their attention.  Rose tilted her head back and he returned her gaze with a smile. Without looking at Dylan, he said, ‘We’re not going to win by killing what we hate, but by saving what we love.’ Or something like that.”

“Yeah, something like that,” Rose smiled.

Rey watched them gazing into each other’s eyes and her heart ached. She smiled, but the reaction was bittersweet. Had it looked this way to Luke when he walked in to see Rey and Ben facing each other, their hands outstretched, fingertips pressed together?  

 _Gosh! I was so stupid!_ Rey thought, staring down at her hands as the others continued to talk, their voices sounding distant and indistinct. _I just thought we… Well, I thought many things._

Time was wearing away at the memories she tried to hold onto. They lapsed to dust and Rey gripped tightly as they slipped through the cracks. At the time, sitting by the fire, confessing her deepest secrets with his dark eyes locked to hers, it felt intimate and safe. Safe enough to convince her to join him, but it had not been enough. She had not been enough. He was now claiming the role of Supreme Leader and she felt like no one, less than a Padawan.

After the Battle of Crait - and as soon as the Resistance found a safe place to hide - Rey, with Chewbacca, Finn, and Poe, had gone searching for Force-users. They found no one, or at least no one who would admit to using the Force, for several weeks.

Finally, in a small village on Batuu, an old man approached and asked, “Why are you looking for users of the Force?”  

They had been elusive, questioning people in secret, hoping not to come across any allies of the First Order, and it seemed many of the people they questioned were doing the same. This inquiry came at the right place and time: this man had little to lose and they were on their way out.

“We’re part of the Rebellion,” Rey said, after receiving approving nods from Finn and Poe, “and we’re searching for allies across the universe. I personally am looking for Force-users, those who wish to learn the way of the Jedi.”

“And what qualifies you train them?”

“I’m still learning, but I have fought against both Kylo Ren, and Snoke’s Praetorian guard, and lived to fight another day.”

The elder looked to the men at her side and they both nodded to confirm this seemingly outrageous claim.

Poe stepped forward and asked, “Do you know of anyone who will join us?”

The man’s eyes scurried left to right, back and forth, then he leaned in closer and said, “You’ve heard of the Knights of Ren?”

Rey’s chest seemed to cave in and she had the feeling of one’s heart dropping into their stomach.  Poe nodded, his frown deepening as his dark eyes focused intently on the man, and Finn said, “I’ve seen them. Why?”

“There’s a reason the new Supreme Leader is called ‘Jedi Killer.’ They destroyed Luke Skywalker’s temple and killed all those students, but they didn’t stop there. They’ve been hunting down Force-users, and when they find them, those persons disappear.”

 _Great!_ Rey thought. _More tales of the terrible Kylo Ren and his murderous past. How am I ever going to get these guys to see him the way I saw him when we can’t escape stories of the vicious things he’s done?_

Rey could never forget the vision she saw of a future where Ben would forsake the First Order and the dark side to be with her, and to the help the Rebellion. It did not temper the rage she felt when he let her down, and for years she absolutely ignored him. He was angry and disappointed as well; the moments they were connected were limited, but eventually he would try to speak to her, and she would turn away or pretend she didn’t know he was there. Rey didn’t respond well to being shouted at, and though he was sometimes desperate for a response from her, she would not yield.  

The list of Force-users was released on the holonet just weeks after she encountered the man on Batuu. Learning that the First Order was seeking out Force-users to eliminate them invigorated Rey’s ambition to find and protect them, but she still had trouble believing Ben had anything to do with seeking out Force-sensitive people, especially children, simply to kill them.  

In the same week the list was released, Ben appeared in her room, and for the first time in over a year, she turned to face him. He was silent. He appeared to be sitting on her bed, but she wasn’t sure where he actually sat.

Ben didn’t look up after feeling her presence, assuming she would ignore him, but when he glanced up and saw Rey was facing him, his head lifted quickly and they stared, breathing heavily in silent speculation. He studied her face and saw she was sad and curious. Ben waited patiently for Rey to speak the question on her mind and she considered it, but couldn’t form the words in time. He vanished just as quickly as he had come into view and for the first time since she’d begged him not to condemn the Resistance to death after saving her life, she wished they had more time to speak.

Rey turned and dropped down on her bed, frustrated and confused. She wanted to ask him how he could authorize, or even participate in, the hunting and killing of so many. This was something she thought him capable of when she’d first arrived on Ahch-To - when she believed him to be a monster, - but not when she departed. Not after he’d been so insistent that she find out what had really happened between him and his uncle. He was desperate for her to know he was not the villain in that story, but determined that Luke should tell her so she would believe it.  

Was it belief in his light and goodness that persuaded Rey that Ben was incapable of the acts he was accused of, or were her feelings and attraction blinding her to his faults? She hated to believe she was being willfully ignorant, but deep down, Rey could not bring herself to believe something she had not seen with her own eyes; not after her experiences of the past few years.  

It wasn’t only Ben, Rey wished she could speak to. Her time with the new Rebel Alliance had created a bond with Finn, Rose, and Poe. They were the family she never had, but the secrets she kept left a void she wished to fill. They knew nothing of her connection with Ben and this was often part of the reason she pretended not to see him when he appeared. She told only these close friends, and other leaders of the Rebellion, that she had gone to speak to him after learning Luke “created Kylo Ren.” She told them Ben Solo saved her from Snoke, but although she made a point to put him in the best light, without revealing the entire truth of their connection and her feelings toward him, the Alliance officers were convinced his intentions were purely selfish. The way they saw it, her life was a bonus they would make Kylo Ren regret.  

Rey often dreamed of telling her friends of the conversations she had with Ben. She imagined their reaction and though the relief for her own mind would be great, she knew they would not accept the truth she was sure of. She arranged the words in her mind over and over, but could never produce a way to explain her thoughts and feelings in a way that would help them understand. It troubled her daily, a great burden for one to bear, in addition to every other in this war.

“Rey,” Rose said, but Rey was too deep in thought to hear. Rose watched as Rey’s brows pressed together, forming a deep line between them, and her eyes grew more sad as her troubles spun recklessly through her mind. “Rey!” Rose said loudly.  

Rey looked up to see Rose’s concern and the departure of Finn and Dylan. “Oh, sorry.  I was… distracted.”

“It’s fine. They have a meeting to go to, but we’re not required to go.”

Rey sighed and Rose smiled.

“You really hate those meetings, don’t you?”

Rey shrugged. “It’s not a complete waste of time, but sometimes I just sit and listen while they talk about how I’m this symbol of hope for the Resistance, and I need to get out and meet people so they join, and I just don’t see myself that way. Compared to what others have sacrificed, my contribution is so small.”

Rose leaned forward to capture Rey’s gaze and said, “No contribution is small. Don’t try to measure your individual acts to others, because there’s no comparison.”

“I know you’re right. Every person in the Rebellion is a necessary piece to the puzzle, but I’m the one they’re trying to raise up as this esteemed savior. If they think it will help, I’ll do my part, but it’s… strange.”

“I know what you mean. When Poe talked about my life in his speech, I felt uncomfortable to have that spotlight put on me, but I know it helped get his point across. And I know you’re worried about letting people down, but you’re doing great. You’ve saved so many lives already, and you aspire to so much, but just take it one step at a time, and don’t worry.”

Rey nodded quietly, trying to force a smile to show Rose she appreciated the advice. “Thank you Rose.”

“You’re welcome. And… hey, if there’s something you want to talk about, you can tell me. I know I always felt better talking to Paige when I was upset or confused, and I can tell you have a lot on your mind.”

 _You have no idea,_ Rey thought. “I appreciate that, Rose,” Rey said vaguely. She stood and added, “I should go train a bit. I felt completely unprepared facing that Knight.”

“That’s a much better use of your time than sitting in meetings. Do you need company? I could try to spar with you if you’d like.”

“I’ll be fine, but thank you. It’s been really nice to be back for a bit and to see you all. I’ll miss you when I’m gone again, but…”

“But you look forward to your next mission.”

“You have no idea!” Rey said with a smile, this time out loud. They said goodbye and Rey left their common area to head outside. There she could train with her staff in the shade of the trees and practice her focus and use of the Force on the large heap of boulders now piled at the base of the mountain that hid their base.

* * *

 “Rey, I’m…” Ben stopped suddenly when he realized it wasn’t Rey the Force was connecting him to: when it was a different voice he heard.   

“Hello, Ben.”

“Mother,” he said coldly, turning away as quickly as he had spun to face her. He’d never called her ‘mother’ before. Mama or mom were comfortable, but her appearance here wasn’t a comfort to him. He didn’t even look at her, really; heard her voice and recoiled from it. “I knew you were strong with the Force, but this is impressive,” he admitted, sitting on his throne and staring down at the ground.  

He’d faced terrifying beings, pain and death - by his hand and others - tremendous fear, and all manner of carnage, but the face of his own mother caused feelings within he wasn’t willing to confront.

She acknowledged his determination not to look at her and grimaced, then rolled her eyes and looked through the window to the stars outside. “Lovely view.  Is there a reason you’ve traveled this far from civilization… alone?”

“I’m never alone,” he said darkly. Then, before she could analyze his implications he added, “There are always troopers nearby, not that I need _them_ .” His last word dripped with loathing thick as molasses. He had allowed a small guard Hux insisted he take, though he knew the Rebellion was no threat to him. Part of him suspected Hux of sending his soldiers to take Ren out, but he didn’t sense a plan when searching Hux’s thoughts and feelings. _Good,_ he had thought. _Hux isn’t  foolish enough to think his soldiers capable of such an assignment._

When Hux first suggested it, a shock of fear had passed through Kylo. He wondered if Hux sensed the connection he had with Rey and hoped to have his soldiers find proof of it. Kylo worried about what that could lead to. The troopers were an advantage in large scale battles, and losing Hux could mean losing the loyalty of his army; not a conducive incident when attempting to secure control over an entire galaxy, but even if the wary Grand Marshalwas suspicious of him, he could not guess that Ren and Rey were able to see each other whenever the Force connected them - or how he felt about her. Plus, she was never able to see his surroundings, so he needn’t worry about her finding him.  

But if _she_ couldn’t see his surroundings, then how…?

“What is it you see?” he asked his mother, curiosity overpowering his determination not to speak to her.  

“Did I ever tell you I would call you ‘my little angel,’ while I was pregnant? I could feel your tenderness, your sensitivity, in the womb. Your dad would call you ‘the little bandit,’” she smiled sadly. “He wasn’t the first to compare a child growing in his mothers’ belly to a thief or a parasite. Even I have to admit, I wasn’t completely prepared for what carrying a child would do to my body. Lately though, with all this time I’ve had to think about it…” she paused, collecting herself as she attempted to finish her thought, to tell her son something he may not even want to hear, “... lately, I think it may have been more because he knew, or was hoping, you’d be like him. I think I imagined you to be like your uncle and grandfather: pink skinned with golden hair - cherubic - a tiny, blond angel surrounded by light.” She chuckled again to herself. “Imagine my surprise when you showed up black-haired and earnest.” She held her arms in front of her like she could imagine her newborn there and added, “You would smile and coo like any other baby, you were quite sweet, but you would also get this look on your face.” Leia puckered her lips and frowned, attempting to recreate the look. “This contemplative expression that made you look like an old man. We would laugh and you’d look up as if you had been lightyears away, surprised to see us with you, and you would smile.” She smiled though her lips pulled down at the ends.  If she could still cry, she would, but it wasn’t a task she could accomplish in this form.

He straightened slightly, but still refused to look at her. Instead he brought his hands together and began manipulating his fingers, one at a time, until the bones popped in a satisfying way. “So, I was always a disappointment to you?” he said, low and almost inaudibly. It didn’t matter at which volume he spoke, she would have heard. He could whisper and his doubts, his concerns and insecurities, would chime clear as a bell to his mother.  

“Ben, I love you. I’ve always loved you, and the day you were born was the proudest of my life.  I’ll flatter myself by admitting, that’s saying a lot. Let’s not waste time with self deprecation and doubt. You know you were not a disappointment to me,” she reprimanded, harshly. When she turned to look at him, his head still down, she felt guilty and forced a calm over herself, remembering her objective. “I was simply reminiscing of how we thought of you before you were born. How each of us hoped you’d be like us, which you were in many ways, including your austerity. If only we could have had more of a say. If only we’d known what was going on and how you were being manipulated, even as an infant.”

“You did know, you just didn’t try hard enough to help. You say you loved me, but you gave up on me,” he said, his lower lip trembling slightly. He lowered his head to hide it and his dark hair fell across his face. She wanted to reach out, to lift his chin and tuck his hair behind his ear so she could see into those dark eyes, so much like his father’s, but she couldn’t. Even if it was physically possible, he would never allow it.

It was pointless to continue trying to convince him of the love his parents had for him. Too much time had passed and his opinion of them, though difficult to swallow, was fairly felt and carved into his soul as permanent as the scar on his face. “Fortunately… for you… I’m not the only person who loves you unconditionally,” she said, focusing on the scar and remembering her mission; the reason she’d worked so hard to find him.

Ren frowned and almost looked up, but turned away instead, facing the same stars she fixed her gaze upon outside the wide window which spanned the length of his throne room. _Who?_ The word echoed in his head and though he didn’t speak it, she responded directly.

“Rey may be disappointed in you, son, but she cares for you deeply. You must know that. You must be able to sense it, even if you insist on suppressing the thought.”   

Ben grimaced, scoffed, and rolled his eyes. “She has a funny way of showing it. Was I supposed to sense it when she abandoned me, unconscious, on a collapsing ship? Or when, instead of taking my outstretched hand, she reached for the saber in the other, in hopes of attacking me?”  His voice was like a growl and his fists and jaw were clenched tightly. The memory of this betrayal still stung anew each time he thought of what he’d sacrificed and how she had repaid him. “I ki…” He stopped, took a deep breath, and continued in a whisper, altering his confession in case someone was listening, “She must have told you what I did… the offer I made.”

Leia nodded, then remembered he wasn’t looking at her. “Yes. She told me everything… and for now we’ll avoid discussing what Snoke’s death means to me in relation to you,” she responded calmly.  

It had been one of the most thrilling moments of her life, when Rey told Leia the story. How her son was faced with assassinating the young woman and instead, he killed the man who had taken her son from her. Ben Solo had killed his abuser, the creature he’d been victim to most of his life, and as Leia saw it, the one who had abducted him from his family.

Snoke convinced Ben that any loving thought he had was a weakness, and so was his pull to the light. He punished Ben when he sensed the negative effect the dark side had on the young man, while simultaneously encouraging him to use that conflict to feed his power. He twisted her kind, lovely, dark angel into a tortured, angry, mess of a man, and if Rey could influence that level of sacrifice, then maybe Luke was right; maybe Ben was not beyond returning to the light after all.

After hearing of this sacrifice, many doubted the meaning Leia took from it, but she wasn’t swayed by their negativity and, admittedly justifiable, doubt.  Especially not when Rey explained the look on his face after he’d turned the lightsaber on his leader and ignited it to split the man in two.

“I’d thought him monstrous and hateful, with no hint of light left within him,” Rey admitted hesitantly, hoping this wouldn’t hurt or offend Leia while also hoping her companions would understand the next confession she had to give, “but I could feel the conflict in him and the man I saw in that moment was not the same man we’d fought in the forest.  If he and I didn’t have to fight for our lives just then, maybe things would be different. Maybe we could have had time to talk, but… saving me was a huge sacrifice on his part and though I recognize that, and his desire to do what _he_ believes is right, I couldn’t join him.”  

Leia could tell Rey felt guilty. Just as Luke’s split second reaction had resulted in Ben Solo becoming the murderous Kylo Ren, Rey’s rejection had motivated a tantrum from Ren so great it had almost been the end of the Resistance. “Thank goodness Luke returned,” Rey said, relaxing slightly. She wasn’t sure if she had failed Ben or the other way around, but she knew it was Luke’s sacrifice that saved the Resistance, which would add kindling to the fire that was his legend, whether he liked it or not.

“Luke implied there’s still hope for Ben. It was hard to accept then, but knowing what he sacrificed… for you…” Leia began, but there was an interruption.

A scoff behind Leia and Rey pulled their attention to Poe Dameron as he paced away, then turned back, looking exasperated. “I’m sorry General, I know he’s your child, but nothing you say can convince me that Kylo Ren killed his Supreme Leader for any other reason than Snoke was a threat to him and stood in his way. He didn’t kill Snoke then ask Rey if he could join us! He wants power. He wants to rule the galaxy, and now he’s in the perfect position to do so.”

It was difficult to argue with that, as it was mostly likely, even if only partially, true. So, they didn’t try.  

“I understand why you would believe that” Leia began, standing and turning to face Poe, “but if you don’t mind, I’ll continue to believe there’s still hope for my child.” She walked out then, without another word.

“Of course,” Poe said, nodding and watching as she retreated.

Leia found Rey alone later and expressed her hope to hear more about Rey’s interactions with her son. Rey had been brief in the company of the small handful of remaining Resistance members lingering in the communal space of the _Millenium Falcon_ . She wouldn’t tell them about her connection with Ben and lied about why she had gone to the _Supremacy_. She told them Luke’s story - how he sensed the darkness in his nephew, and it was his mistake that led to Ben leaving the academy and joining the First Order. Rey said she had felt light in him and thought that if she went to him, she might be able to get him to join them. That’s all the other members of the Rebellion needed to hear.

With Leia, she disclosed the whole truth of their connection; every word and feeling. She confessed that once she knew what occured between Ben and Luke, she softened toward him.  She shared her own grief and how she’d reached out, scared he’d refuse her and leave her feeling more alone than she felt on the island, with failed expectations and dashed hopes.

“But he removed his glove and slowly pressed his fingers to mine. And I felt…”

“Complete.” Leia finished for her.  

Rey looked up, eyes wide and wet, “Yes, but how do you…?”

Leia smiled. “It’s clear you two have a unique connection. I don’t know if it’s exactly as Snoke claimed, but you said that once you were on the lift, alone together, you felt as though you’d found your purpose.”

Rey nodded. “As soon as I decided to go to him I felt I was no longer searching for my place.  I’d found it. I felt, and still feel, responsible for him, knowing some of what he’s been through and knowing there must be a reason he confided in me. Plus, there must be a reason the Force has bonded us.” Rey looked down, ashamed. “I’m sorry, Leia. I thought I could save him and I failed.”

“No, dear girl. You made the right choice.” Leia wrapped her arms around Rey and pulled her close, their knees bumping together as they sat. “I probably would have made the same choice, no matter how desperate I am for him to return to us, if I was put in that position.” She chuckled airily. “Everything is just so…out of control. I wish I knew how to turn him away from that desire for power. I wish I knew what to say, how to guide you both, but I’m as lost as anyone on how to reach my son. It’s not like we can have diplomatic conversations with someone aspiring to be a dictator,” she said sorely. “But you’re still here and there’s still time to save him.”

Rey nodded slowly and said, “I wish the others could have seen what I saw: _who_ I saw. I tried to explain it, but it’s difficult when they only know him as Kylo Ren, the fierce warrior of the First Order. I don’t want them to think I’m sympathetic to a monster or blind to his actions, but they didn’t see the desperate, pleading face of a man who killed his master to save my life or how we fought for our lives _together_. They didn’t see the tremble in his lower lip and hear the agony in his ‘Please’ as he begged me to leave everything behind and join him. Ben Solo was connected to the light, if only for that moment, and I’ll never doubt the possibility again. Never,” she said as tears streamed down her cheeks.

Leia sniffed and held the girl again, so filled with gratitude her heart could burst.  

In the months that followed, Leia continued to try and speak with Rey about Ben, and though Rey still claimed she believed Ben could return to the light, they had no idea how, and it left Rey dispirited. One of the last times Leia saw Rey, she heard her trying to convince Finn of Ben’s possible goodness and it pleased Leia, but she wasn’t sure how long Rey could coast on the fumes of the few good memories she and Ben had shared. It would be difficult for Rey with his reputation throughout the Resistance, and the Galaxy, and with a friend, once a Storm Trooper, who witnessed the terror; one among an army who had nicknamed Leia’s son Jedi Killer.

Leia stared at her son now, desperate for the words to convince him of Rey’s concern for him. It should be simple; _just tell him the truth_ , but truth was difficult with someone so despondent he doubted any kind words, any well-meaning intent.

“Have you seen her… since that day?” Leia wondered.

“Yes,” he said shortly, and Leia could sense his disappointment. “There have been a few times, fleeting moments, but she refuses to speak to me…” _Awake_ , he thought. “There was one time recently, I thought she might, but… we ran out of time. She _is_ mad at me,” he said lightly, as an explanation for her silence. He was thinking of how they connected before, how angry she was - that look in her eye - and his mouth curled at the ends, not quite a smile, but close. As one who is never purely happy, Kylo Ren didn't smile, ever, but it was something his lips attempted when he was amused.

He had hoped, after some time, they could be close. He'd done terrible things before and she forgave him: could it happen again? Could he make her see what they could do, together, and convince her to join him? He huffed and shook his head, ceaseless in his rejection of desires Snoke taught him were weak, brought on by a compassionate upbringing. He told Rey they needed to leave the past behind and he meant it. They could be so much more.  

There was no end to his denial.

“Can you blame her for feeling angry? You're not the only one who took a risk to save the other. The young woman flew in onto Snoke’s ship, alone, to save you!” Leia said, impressed. Even she - princess, general, rebel - who had faced Grand Moff Tarkin and Darth Vader with vivacity and glaring derision, was baffled by Rey’s bravery. “Would you have had the opportunity to dispose of Snoke had she not fearlessly come to you?”

“She was sacrificing for your feeble Resistance… not for me. Or trying to impress Luke: always trying to impress whichever weak man she sees as a father figure, but denying a man who offers her rule of the galaxy,” he said, bitterly.

Leia laughed and it surprised him. He looked up and stared in shock when he saw her there. Had he really not looked at her this entire time? Why was she…blue… and so young?

Leia spoke, ignoring that he was finally looking at her and the traumatized look this action induced. “Rey attacked Luke because of you,” she said. “She told me all about your connection.  Told me about your conversations and the touching of fingers,” she smiled, eyeing him playfully.

He ignored it.   _Why was she not solid as Rey had been when they were connected? Why did she look like… like a ghost?_

“Mama…”

“And when Luke interrupted, she confronted him about trying to kill you. He tried to walk away from her, and she wouldn't allow it. She knocked him to the ground, fought with him until he conceded and told her the truth. He did admit to failing you, son. Your uncle was ashamed of that moment when he thought you'd decided against the light and his reaction to it. More importantly, Rey knows and she forgives you for everything. She fought on your behalf, sacrificed on your behalf. I truly believe she loves you. Please understand, take it from someone who knows, a lonely life with all the power of the galaxy is nothing compared to a life filled with love.”

“Really, mom?” He asked, sarcastically.

She nodded curtly. “Don't be foolish, Ben. It's not in your nature. You come by stubbornness naturally: I have myself to blame for that. And the impulsive actions, you get from your father, but you only have yourself to blame for your stupid decisions.”

“Nice,” he said, sarcastic still, that same suppressed smile lingering on his lips. The brightness in his eyes betrayed him and she smiled, moving closer and wishing she could place her hands on his cheek, but it was too late for that. She would never feel his skin, touch his hair, or hold him in her arms again, but she could visit him now and, as always, she would use every tool in her arsenal to help the Rebellion, to serve the galaxy. It was her life's work, what she'd sacrificed everything, even her son, for, and she wouldn't allow that to be squandered if she had hope to help.  

It had taken a long time to find Ben and Leia could feel her time coming to and end. She'd communicated with Luke and even visited Rey, but her son had been difficult to get to and she didn't want to come to him forceful and demanding. She simply wanted to remind him that, although the life of every member of his family had ended, and they would never walk the planets again, they existed still and would be with him. She needed to be sure he knew that even though he was the last surviving member of his family, there was still love and light for him, and she would not let him forget it.  

“Rey was right, Ben: you're not alone. Not as long as she is alive. Let the past die, my angel. Let go of your hate, forgive yourself, and walk in the light. It will take time to heal, but she will be there to help you. Let her love you and eventually you will see the goodness inside yourself. The power in that light will fulfill you if you give it a chance,” she pleaded, backing away.  

“Wait! Mom, where are you going? Why are you…do you…?” He couldn't say it. The words were in his head, but caught in his throat when he tried to speak because hearing them out loud would make it more plausible, somehow. Leia, his mother, was dead. Had _he_ been the cause? _No._ He would have known - would have felt it, but…why did he not feel it when she died? Ben frowned.

“I must go now, Ben.”

“No! Wait!” he commanded frantically, hating himself for denying the light so completely he hadn’t felt the death of his own mother.

“I love you,” she said and disappeared; her ghostly form floating as if she were tied to a rope, pulling her from him as she faded like smoke in a breeze.

“No,” he breathed, dropping to his knees as tears fell from his eyes. “No!  I'm not ready for you to go,” he cried, feeling childlike in his appeal, so soft it was like a prayer.

It had been years since he allowed sadness to affect him this way. He was more likely to destroy this entire ship and everyone on it than to let disappointment cause him tears, but this wasn’t the failure from an inferior being or a political setback. His mother was gone from this world and he’d never wanted her more; to be held in the arms of the one person he knew undoubtedly, somehow, loved him unconditionally.  

“I love you,” he whispered and let the pain wash over him.

“Ben?”

Rey breathed his name so faintly from across the room he nearly mistook the sound for an inconsequential noise from another part of the small ship.  

“Leia,” he cried softly, the name an explanation for this display. He looked up and their eyes met for just a moment before she disappeared, but it was enough. Enough to convince Rey that the hope she held onto for Ben Solo was not in vain. Leia could not have known Rey would appear in that moment, but her deepest desire was fulfilled when Rey saw Ben grieving for his mother.  

Rey dropped to dirt by the mountainside, her knees too weak to stand, short of breath and eyes filling with tears. She sniffed and smiled, then cried into her hands. She was confident now, it didn’t matter what anyone said. She knew better than they did. It had been difficult, with Leia gone, her strongest ally, but she knew it in her heart she could save Ben Solo or at least help him save himself. And that was all Rey needed to endure the adversity of the tasks ahead.

* * *

FN-3818 woke from a strange dream and sat up quickly, frowning.  He had been dreaming of his family, more specifically, his mother, and he was surprised he could even remember her face.  

 _Why is this happening?_ He wondered silently, scratching his arm nervously. _That’s the fourth time this week, and I’ve never dreamt about her before. Not that I can remember._

FN-3818 had been taken from his family at a very young age, but apparently not so young that his mother’s face did not exist somewhere deep in his subconscious. There were others in the dream as well, but their features refused to take form. There was a man, he could only assume was his father, and two other children, both several years older. They were clothes and blurred faces in a distant dark blur - no features stood out clearly in his mind.

 _I have a family. I have siblings._ These thoughts created emotions FN-3818 had never felt before, and the galling weight in his heart and stomach did not sit well. He cringed against the sentiment and lifted his chin defiantly.  

_I am a Captain of my own squadron. I have no family and no obligation to any one person. My only loyalty is to the First Order._

He stood from his bed, showered, and donned his armor, examining himself proudly in the mirror as he prepared to face Grand Marshal Hux with a new mission he was proud to accept.

_And I will never concede to thoughts of my former life again._

* * *

 Armitage Hux dipped two fingers into the cold hair gel, scooping the perfect amount necessary for the right side and fusing it with with his already neatly combed hair. He repeated this task with the opposite side, then washed his hands carefully.

Stepping back from the full length mirror, he pressed his hands from shoulder to hip against the stiff, dark fabric of his jacket, then straightened the newly formed Grand Marshal ensign before allowing a pleased smirk to lift only the center of his closed lips.

He was aware that his smile appeared smug and wondered if, maybe as a child, he ever smiled in a more natural way. Maybe, before his abusive father collected him from his mother and raised him to be compulsive and callous. He was also aware of how others commented on his appearance. They could mock his flame orange hair and sickly pale skin, but could never truly say he looked unpolished.

It didn’t matter and the thought passed like a frail leaf caught in a firm breeze.   

His father always insisted his appearance be immaculate. “Dress to impress.” Even on days like this, and in times such as these, when there was no higher power to answer to or to impress, he would not be seen looking anything less than perfect.

“Sir, the captain of the squadron you’ve requested is ready and waiting in your office,” his assistant informed him.

“Thank you, MR-51. Please let him know I will be there soon.”

“Yes, sir,” the droid responded, turned, and rolled away.

Hux turned to the mirror once more and smiled at the beaming man within, releasing his joy in private to make it easier to maintain a passive appearance in the presence of others.

“Father never respected you,” he said aloud, speaking to his mirror image. “He thought you were weak, but he was a fool and you will succeed where he failed.”

Brendol Hux groomed his son to follow in his footsteps, only after his superiors insisted he give the boy a chance, and only as long as Armitage served beneath him, but the illegitimate son of the adulterine General and a nameless kitchen worker had loftier goals.

With the help of Captain Phasma, who wished to dispose of the man who discovered her - the only living person who knew of her past - Brendol was poisoned and Armitage was free to pursue his rise in power.

_Imagine, overthrowing Snoke’s “dark prince,”son of an actual princess, and me, the bastard son of a whore, abused by his father and Supreme Leaders, ruling the First Order and the galaxy!_

Hux had to suppress a maniacal giggle at the thought. Instead, he brought his hands together, rubbing them gleefully as he smiled.

“Okay,” he said, nodding and shaping his expression into a cavalier mask. Armitage turned from his reflection and marched stiffly to his office.

“I have a mission for your squadron, FN-3818,” Armitage said to the masked captain in his office. “It’s an important mission for the First Order, but simple.”

The trooper nodded and waited for his orders.

“You will accompany Supreme Leader Ren to Bakura. All I need you to do is follow his orders, remain close, and keep him safe. When you return, you will report to me immediately.”

“Does he know you have assigned us this task?” FN-3818 inquired, a hint of fear in his modulated tone.

“He does, and he has agreed to allow you to accompany him. I’m aware he believes he’s safe, but I’m not so sure, and if he refuses to have an elite guard, I insisted he take a squadron along to… back him up.”

“Yes, Gen - Grand Marshal. My apologies, sir. When will we depart?”

Hux was annoyed many of his inferiors continued to forget his promotion, but it made it easier to spot those less committed, or those who were distracted.

“Immediately. Gather your squadron and make way to the hangar A.S.A.P. I will let Ren know you are ready. You are released,” Hux said, sitting back in his chair and looking down at his hands.

The captain saluted and turned to leave. Once his back was turned, Hux sneered happily, pleased to have his plan set in motion.


	3. Acceptance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Trish47 for the beta read.

Rey paced the limited breadth of her quarters, posing contentious remarks at Poe and Finn, who remained in Poe’s office in the Alliance’s cave-like base.

_Well, you know what!? You have no idea what you’re talking about, you ignorant man, because you don’t know him! You’ve never had a conversation with him or felt the light in his heart, and you have no idea how kind and gentle he can be! SO… SHUT UP!_

She caught her reflection in the mirror and stopped to stare at herself, confrontationally. _You coward! Why don’t you just tell them the truth? Or at least find a better way to explain to them how you can feel the good inside of him? We owe it to Leia and Han to try and save him._ Even Luke admitted there’s hope and Rey shouldn’t give up trying to convince them. She wasn’t sure how much a ghost could be trusted, but he seemed just like his old self.

 _But what if they were right?_ Fear crept into her mind like a sinister plague. _What if he did just use me to eliminate Snoke?_

Finn’s voice echoed in her head, _“The man is a murderer. He doesn’t deserve the forgiveness you insist on giving.”_

And Poe’s voice added, _“We’ve both witnessed his cruelty. He’s not a creature who kills for love.  He’s pure evil, and if you truly believe he killed his Master to save you, then I have to say… you’ve allowed yourself to be manipulated and I’m worried about your intentions here.”_

Poe’s question of her loyalty and assumption of her being manipulated made Rey furious. She growled, picked up a pillow, and threw it at the door. Just because he didn’t know or understand Ben, didn’t mean she was simply a foolish girl who couldn’t make a sensible decision on her own. What made him an expert on human nature?

_And yet, despite the feelings I sensed from Ben, those that make me want to help him, he still chose the other side._

She felt a change in the air, like the room had grown behind her, and she turned to see Ben sitting with his head down.

“Did you do it for the power?” she demanded, charging toward him.

“What are you talking about?” he looked up coldly, and she halted her approach a few feet short of where he sat.

“You did! Didn’t you?!” She scoffed. Without the denial she expected as his immediate response, Rey assumed her accusation more plausible, and it made her blood boil. She hated to be wrong.  Hated to believe he cared if he didn’t, and hated that she had fought for him, but Poe and Finn may have been right. This betrayal felt like a knife to her heart and she began to feel sick. Rey turned away from Ben to stare at the wall, anger pulsing through her veins.

She waited for him to confess, but he didn’t speak - or move at all as far as she could tell. Was he still there? She turned back to find him glaring down, his fists clenched and his eyes narrowed. He was shaking with rage, and she frowned, tilting her head toward him.

“What?!” she asked shortly, attempting to maintain a stern air.

His head shot up and the look on his face forced her back a step.

 _Damn._ She thought, her pulse sped, eyes widened, and she wondered if he could sense the inadvertent effects he had on her. Even cold and angry, he was so beautiful. She constantly wanted to brush her fingers through his fitful hair and his lips begged to be touched.

“You’re kidding, right?” he stood and closed the space between them. His body was so overwhelming; all he had to do was stand near to make her feel surrounded.

“No,” she replied bravely, a stifled quiver in her voice. “The more I think about it, it makes sense,” she said, pulling her posture as straight as she could manage, and glaring up into his face. “You lured me to your ship, but why? You saw us ruling the galaxy together and thought I would turn, but that would still only happen after Snoke’s death, so you must have been planning that the entire time.”

Ben shook his head. “No. I didn’t ask you to come. You came because you saw something in my future _you_ thought _you_ could control. You wanted to save me and believed you could use me to help you save the Resistance, but I never asked you to come.”

“But you knew I would!” she insisted stubbornly.

“Believe me, I wasn’t planning on what happened. Snoke was right: you sensed my struggle and couldn’t resist coming save my poor, lost soul.” He spoke bitterly, but corrected it, not wanting to squander this time with Rey. She was actually speaking to him! For two years he had longed for this, and it would be foolish to let his snark offend or hurt her. “I appreciate that, but part of me hoped you wouldn’t. I would rather you be safe.”

He put his hand on her arm and she noticed it was without the gloves she’d become accustomed to seeing. This statement was so kind, and given with no hint of embarrassment or deceit, that her heart skipped a beat, and she took a step back to consider his confession.

“Okay, so then… I did show up, which you knew was a possibility. Why didn’t you tell me not to come when you knew I might?”

“Because I…” he paused, pain crossing his face, but he wanted to be honest with her and decided to continue. “I was still trying to please my Master,” he said, ashamed, his glare now cast down to the steely floor below. “I knew he wanted you, to use you to find Luke, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t want that as well. I wanted Luke to pay for what he did. He is the reason I turned to the dark side. He is the reason I ran to Snoke for guidance and protection, and I wanted him to pay for that.”

 _Did this mean he wasn’t fully committed to the dark side now?_ Rey wondered. _He’s not pleased with the person he’s become and he blames Luke?_

“I knew Snoke wanted to lure you to us, but I didn’t know he would use my conflict to reach you. I was embarrassed that he saw that weakness in me. Embarrassed that our conversations, which I believed were private and important, were being controlled by him.”

“I’m not completely convinced they were. He’s gone, and yet, I can see you now just as clearly,”  she said kindly.

“Even if he wasn’t the source of our bond, I believe he manipulated it and witnessed each moment.”

Rey nodded in understanding, though she still had so many questions.

“Our main goal was to find Luke, to destroy the last Jedi. I knew Snoke would interrogate you, but I didn’t expect…” Ben paused and Rey saw the muscles in his jaw tense. His fists balled up tightly. “I hated the way he was… playing with you. Forcing you around the room, antagonizing you so he could assert his own dominance.” Ben looked up into her eyes now, intent on making his point understood. The darkness in them was endless and she was lost in his gaze. “I began to realize he didn’t plan on asking you to join us, as I had done. As soon as he made his intentions known, my decision was made. So, no, Rey!” he began, taking one step to stand just inches away. “I didn’t plan to use you as bait so I could take Snoke’s place. I killed Snoke because he wasn’t going to keep you alive and... I couldn’t live with that.”

Rey was silent and Ben stared, waiting for her reaction, for a sign that she was okay with this confession and that she may feel the same. He thought of reaching out to take her hand, but feared she would reject him once more. _I should be used to that, by now,_ he thought. His mother found him and was emphatic in her faith in Rey’s concern for him, but he needed to hear it from her.

“Ben…” Rey said, tears falling from her eyes. “I’m sorry for accusing you and twisting your intentions. I want to see the good that I’ve felt in you - I feel the light, but you seem so intent on denying it and everyone around me is convinced of your darkness.” She was pacing the room again, trying to explain her doubts and confusion, then she stopped in front of him and said, “Thank you… for saving my life. I _am_ grateful.”

Ben sighed. _No such confessions today, I guess._ “You’re welcome.”

“Where are you?” she wondered innocently, looking beyond his broad frame, but seeing nothing but the four walls of her room.

He grimaced. “In the throne room of my ship.”

“But you’re alone.”

“I am. Well… except for you.” He breathed in a humored way, a tender look in his eye, and Rey smiled and looked away.

“Same here.” She paused, attempting to block the thoughts brought on by his gaze and the way his lips pouted when he said _you_. Then, very quietly, she said, “Ben?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry… about your mother.”

He frowned, clenching his teeth and fighting back the emotions threatening to steal away his composure as she observed him cautiously. He nodded and averted his eyes, but when he looked back, she was gone.

Rey closed her eyes tightly, then opened them with a glare. She wasn’t sure how one could glare at the Force itself, but she needed to show her displeasure at the way their connections ceased before she was ready.

She was grateful their meeting had begun right as she was beginning to doubt Ben’s heroic intentions.  If only it had not ended then. What more could she have learned from him? She didn’t want to come straight for him about the Force-users who were disappearing and being hunted by his Knights, but she was ready to bring it up after showing her sympathy for his loss.

She desired more control over their connection. She even wished she could simply find Ben so they could talk without having to rely on Force-affected contact, but how would the Supreme Leader of the First Order meet secretly with a member of the Rebel Alliance?  

Rey looked at the time, remembering she was expected shortly after the meeting to meet with new recruits, and sighed when she saw it was time to head out.

A knock on the door confirmed she would be expected soon, and when she opened it, Finn was waiting on the other side. She wished she still felt angry with him and Poe, to make them pay for the things they said, but seeing Ben had calmed her considerably, and she simply crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at her friend.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry for how things went in there. I know it’s hard when it seems like we’re ganging up on you, but you have to know, it’s because we care.”

“I know you care, but it does feel like you’re ganging up on me. And I didn’t even have Chewie there to back me up this time.”

Finn smiled. “Not that we can all understand what he’s saying anyway.”

“Maybe not, but you’re learning.”

“Slowly. For all I know, he might actually agree with me, but you’re just making it seem like he’s on your side.”

Rey smiled sadly. Of course Chewie was on her side. He’d had one moment of dismay where he aimed a deadly blow at Kylo Ren, but after some reflection, and hearing what Rey had learned, he decided to take her side.

It was Chewie who had explained to Rey how the darkness had afflicted Ben as soon as the human had an awareness to ply. How baby Ben would go from toddling around, joyful and carefree, to curling into a ball on the floor, tense and focused as Snoke pressed his will into the child’s mind and Ben fought to deny it. One of Rey’s only possessions was a picture Chewie had given her of himself with Han and Ben. The younger Solo could not have been older than five, held high in Chewie’s arms, smiling at the camera as Han’s own smile beamed up at them.

Rey thought of this picture as she asked Finn, “Are you really listening to what I’ve said? Sometimes it feels like you’ve got this set idea in your head about who he is and you stick with it. I get that it’s hard to imagine him any other way… and I understand that wanting to save someone with his reputation is an unpopular opinion, but he’s not everything you think he is.”

Finn pursed his lips, then released them with a sigh and said, “To be completely honest, sometimes, as your friend, I want to be on your side so badly and I try to understand. It is difficult with all those other people backing up what I know to be true about him, but you should know I do try.”

“But you still believe he’s purely evil.”

“I know he is. I’ve seen it with my own eyes.”

“But you can’t feel what’s inside of him. I can!”

“And what if it’s all a lie?”

“It’s not like that,” Rey said, wishing desperately that she could tell him everything. _I just need to get him away from here: away from these other people, where I can be completely honest and tell him every detail._ Then an idea occurred to Rey, and she wondered if it would be possible. “We should go,” she said, pretending to check her chrono.

Rey walked among the new members of the Rebellion, smiling and welcoming them. It was one of the only things Poe had asked her to do, lately.  

“Just let them see you, confident and happy. Get to know their names and their stories. They all know who you are already and they admire you, so it will be good for them to meet you,” Poe insisted.

“Are you sure I can’t do… anything else?” Rey asked, still hoping she could get into one of the new X-wings, provided by an anonymous donor.

“Not right now. We need you to train and we need you to be a symbol of hope for our new volunteers. Plus, you’re one of the only people here who knows almost every language. You really make them feel welcome.”

“Okay, but you know I can fly, right? I would love to get up in one of those,” Rey pointed to the row of X-wings in a massive hangar blasted out from the base of the rocky mountain.

Poe smiled with a twinkle in his eyes. “Me too, but let’s take care of what needs to be done, then I would be happy to fly with you.”

Rey smiled back, nodded, then turned away, looking forward to having their chores finished so she could fulfill a lifelong dream of flying one of the Rebellion’s famous starfighters.

“They’re happy to see you,” Finn said, greeting people with Rey. “They’ve heard of what you did, who you are, and you give them hope.”

“Even those who were neutral before, who didn’t care who was in charge as long as there was peace, are choosing to join us,” Rose added.

Rey took a deep breath, inflated her cheeks, then released the air slowly through a small space between her lips.

“I know it’s a lot of pressure, but… let’s just be grateful for the help it brings,” Finn added.

“I’m grateful, and I’m happy to meet with them, but I will need to leave soon.”

“Have you seen Luke again?” Finn asked excitedly.

Rey shook her head. “I’m not sure he’ll return. I think I’m just meant to go, and maybe I can figure it out on my own.”

“I’m sure you can,” Rose said kindly. “If you needed more information, I think you would have received it by now.”

Rey had waited a week on Arceleon, thinking Luke may show himself again, give her coordinates, and tell her more about the temple she was meant to visit on Ilum. She enjoyed this time with her friends, but she could feel it was time to go.

At dinner, Rey sat and watched her friends quietly, utterly impressed with everyone around her.  She smiled as Chewie tried to communicate with Finn and Rose in the Wookie language of Shyriiwook, using words he knew they understood with others they didn’t, hoping they could learn from context. She enjoyed the food given to them by the locals and laughed at the jokes they shared. She enjoyed that, despite the trouble brewing throughout the galaxy, and whatever worries and sorrows these beings had to contend with in their hearts and minds, they could all gather in this place and enjoy the company of others, feeling hope for the future and the belief they could prevail against the darkness.

“Finn,” she said quietly, tapping his arm to catch his ear without bringing unwanted attention to their conversation. “I feel like I need to return to Ahch-To, and I would really like to have you and Chewie with me. Would you be willing to go?”

“Are you kidding? I would love to go!”

“I’ll just need to talk to Poe about it.”

Finn nodded enthusiastically and Rey leaned forward, looking down the table to see if Poe was still in the room. He wasn’t far away, and she smiled and rose to clear her plate.  

She requested to speak to him outside the dining hall and said, “General, I wanted to talk to you about my leaving.”

“Have you seen Luke again?” he asked, as Finn had.

Rey smiled and shook her head. “No, but I don’t mean to Ilum. After I return from Ilum, I’d like to take Finn and Chewie to Ahch-To. Not for long, but something is pulling me back there, and I want to check it out.”

Poe thought about it. “Well, it’s not like I can make you stay, but I'm not going to lie, losing the three of you will be quite a sacrifice.”

“I don’t plan on abandoning the Alliance, if I’m needed. I just need some time on the island and I know Finn wants to go as well.”

“And Chewie?”

“Chewie has already expressed his desire to stay with me as I travel.”

“Looks like you’ve got it all planned out,” Poe said solemnly. “When will you leave for Ilum?”

“Early tomorrow.”

Poe nodded with a smirk. “Then I guess we’ll have to fly together another time.”

“I would be glad to, General. I need to go pack for tomorrow. Is there anything the Rebellion needs from me before I go?”

Poe shook his head. “No. We appreciate all you’ve done and wish you luck in your endeavors.”

“Thank you,” she said, nodding congenially.

“Goodnight.” He nodded and backed away.

“May the Force be with you,” Rey said, turning and heading for her room.

* * *

“Rey, can we talk?” Rose asked, leaning in through the small crack in her door.

Rey had been packing and didn’t even realize her door wasn’t latched.

“Of course, Rose. Come in.”

Rose slid in, and made sure to close the door behind her as Rey watched curiously.

Rey wondered if Rose was going to request to go to Ahch-To, but didn’t know if she wanted Rose with them. She liked Rose, but could she be trusted with the secrets Rey had guarded so posessively? Even the thought of telling Finn made her anxious.

There was much to consider. She would tell Finn, but would he tell Rose? Or would he immediately feel it was his duty to tell the Alliance of the bond between Rey and Ben? Rey couldn’t be sure Finn would tell, because he was just as loyal to her as he was to the Alliance, if not more, but Rose was different. Not only did Rey worry that Rose would feel it was her duty to tell, but she may even question Rey’s loyalty to them; not that Rey had not proven it.

There was one other possibility Rey could think of for Rose coming to her this way: no matter how often Rose proved not to be jealous or curious of the relationship between Rey and Finn, she sometimes looked at them in a way that made Rey take a step back and question if their behavior was appropriate. To be fair, neither of them knew friendship or familial love in their childhoods, so how could they know if their rapport was typical? No one ever complained, so they continued to behave the way they felt was comfortable and acceptable.

“Do you want to sit?” Rey asked, gesturing to the chair.

“Yes. Thank you,” Rose said nervously. Rey had never seen her nervous, and discomfort filled her chest, creeping outward from her heart like a cold poison in her veins.

“Rey…?” Rose began.  

 _Here it goes_ , Rey thought. _This is what I’ve been waiting for.  She’s either going to ask me if she can go with us or ask if I’m in love with Finn._

As soon as Rey had picked the Resistance up on Crait, she could tell Finn and Rose had become close in her absence. The extent of their feelings wasn’t clear until Rose woke and Rey could see the way the mechanic looked at her dear friend, and the way he gazed back at her. Now she could see them, from time to time, linking hands discreetly when they walked side by side, or putting their arms around each other.

Rose must have heard of how Finn and Rey met and how close they had become. Especially since Rose met Finn as he was trying to leave the Resistance to save Rey, but Rey was surprised Rose never spoke to her about it.

 _Now I’m asking to take the man she loves on a trip to a lovely island without inviting her,_ Rey thought. _She must suspect..._

“... are you in love with Ben Solo?”

“No! Rose, I just need….” _Hold on._ “Wait! Did you say ‘Ben Solo?’” _What?!_

Rose nodded and tilted her head slightly, a patient, understanding look on her face as she waited.

Rey couldn’t speak. Thoughts circled frantically around her head and she couldn’t catch one to form into words. As they slowed, she began grasping at every simple idea.

_Rose had called him Ben Solo. She must get it from what I’ve said. She must see that we’re connected and that I… but do I love him, really? I care for him. He has my sympathy and gratitude, but… love? Do either of us even know anything of love?_

“To be… completely honest… I don’t know,” Rey said, watery eyes staring into Rose’s in a way that begged for understanding.

Rose nodded without breaking the gaze. “It must be difficult. He’s… done so many horrible things, and neither of you have many experiences with love. I know Finn loves you, but not in the way we love each other.”

“You two have said you love each other?”

Rose nodded again. “He’s so different than what I thought when I shocked him that first day,”  she said, a smile forming slowly on her lips. “He’s got more compassion than most. He gets distracted sometimes, he’s had such a sheltered life, but he listens and he learns. I just love how kind and empathetic he is. I just wish....” she looked down and reached up for the pendant that hung from her neck. “I wish Paige could have known him. She was the only family I had left.”

Rey stepped up to Rose and put a hand on her shoulder. “I know he wishes he could have met her too. I’m grateful you have each other though.”

“We all have each other,” Rose corrected. “Which is why I want to make sure I’m understanding what you’re thinking and what you’re going through. I’ve heard you fight with those people so many times, just hoping they’ll eventually listen to what you’re trying to say and consider helping you. I didn’t want to make assumptions, and for a long time I convinced myself I was being silly, but who fights so loyally and consistently for someone they don’t love?”

“Well, to be fair, Luke and Leia have encouraged me not to give up on him. They can sense his light as well, and I feel I owe it to them. What I don’t understand is, how can people hear of the torture and abuse he’s suffered, and not be compelled to rescue him?”

Rose shrugged, staring speculatively at Rey’s face.  

“I think you do love him,” she concluded simply.

A burst of air was expelled from Rey’s nose in a humorous way, and she smiled at Rose. “I don’t know if I’m more surprised to hear you say I love someone, or to hear you say I love Ben Solo without contempt or judgement.”

“Well, unlike those other fools, I’ve heard what you have to say and I understand that there is a lot more to him than we know or can comprehend. I’ve heard your reasons for wanting to save him, but there’s so much more the others are blind to.”

 _Uh oh.  Does Rose know…?_ “Like what?” Rey asked.

“Oh, just little things. Like, how upset you get when they don’t listen or understand: if you were just doing this for his family, I wouldn’t think their refusal to help would affect you so much.”

“I don’t get that upset.”

“My room is next to yours,” Rose said, without needing to explain she’d heard Rey pacing, mumbling angrily, and throwing things at the wall.

“But, I…”

“My room is next to yours,” Rose repeated, halting Rey’s excuses.

“There’s also the way you continue to call him Ben, no matter what anyone says. You talk about feeling the light in him and sometimes you blush, and I’ve noticed it seems like you’re withholding your feelings or… something. I don’t know, but that’s the main thing I’ve noticed that the others seem to be completely unaware of. You’ll be talking, then you’ll just… pause and it sounds like you’ve got so much on your mind that you’re keeping to yourself. And look, I’m not here for your secrets. If you wanted to talk about it, you would. I just wanted to remind you… one more time… that I’m here for you. I see the burden you bear and if the biggest secret is that you’re in love with Ben Solo, and that’s already something I’ve suspected, then this should free you to tell me whatever it is you need to say.”

Rey wasn’t sure how to respond to this. “Thank… you,” she said slowly, finding it difficult to look at Rose. When she did, she saw a triumphant smile and a small chunk of the weight she’d been burdened by fell away from her back, reducing the gap that separated her from her friends.

* * *

 “I just think he needs to get out of the city, see more of the galaxy.”

“Where are you going to take him?”

“I don’t know. Somewhere different.”

“Han…”

“I know you’re worried about him, Leia, but the boy is stuck in school, or his friends’ houses, or following you around at work, and I think it might help him.”

“Well, I can’t argue with your desire to help our son. I just want to be able to sense when...” she stopped and looked around, whispering her next words and trying not to move her mouth, “when the darkness takes over.”  

She didn’t see anyone or know their conversation was being heard, but Ben was there, hiding just behind the crack in the door and hoping his mother would let his father take him on a trip to another world. He’d been to other worlds, like his father said, following mom on work trips, but those experiences were limited to large rooms surrounded by other children whose parents worked for the New Republic, watched over by droids and nannies. What his father was proposing sounded like an adventure. Just him, Chewie, and dad, visiting a far off planet, spending time outside. He’d heard other kids talk about climbing trees, but since his mom only ever took him along to largely populated cities, he’d only seen maybe one or two.

“I can help him.”

“I know you want to, but you can’t sense it like I can. You won’t always know.”

“Now, Leia, I know our son and I know when something’s wrong,” Han began angrily. “Just because I can’t sense it doesn’t mean I’m not…”

“I know you’re a good father, but…”

“Leia, he’s my son, too, and I want to take him on this trip. I know you’re used to getting your way, and I’ve given in to you a lot, but I’m putting my foot down. You can stand there and look shocked all you want, but we’re going.”

Leia consciously closed her dropped jaw, narrowed her eyes, and stared at him. She thought he looked cute when he was angry, and since Han’s default emotion was grumpy, he looked that way often. Oh, but when he smiled, it was beautiful too. This thought process was distracting, so she turned away and looked out the window over a sea of buildings.

He wanted to spend some time with their son and give him a new experience; she couldn’t fault him for that. She just had a bad feeling. To be fair, she’d had these bad feelings Ben’s entire life.  In the womb, she could feel the darkness surrounding her son. Though she feared it may somehow have been passed down from her father, it didn’t feel as though the darkness originated in her son. There was something, or someone, out there, using him, and she couldn’t escape the sense that, if she let him too far out of her care, that something, or someone, would use that opportunity to take her Ben away from her.

 _No. I can’t think that way.  I can’t make every decision for my son based on the fear of what may happen. He’d be trapped in a bubble and I want him to be happy._ Plus, if anyone could protect the boy, she trusted Han and Chewie, if not Luke. 

Despite what Han was saying now, they both knew she had the final say, and when she made her decision she turned to find him waiting for it.

“Okay. I agree. It’s a good idea and I think you should go. Please, just…”

“I’ll take care of our son, Leia. You know…”

“I know your intentions and I know you’ll always do what’s best for him.” She smiled and he moved closer, putting his large hand on her cheek. Han looked down into her sweet brown eyes, wondering, as always, how someone with such strength and ferocity could appear so innocent and small.

Days later they were on their way. Han had to visit someone named Maz Kanata, but wouldn’t tell Ben why. Ben didn’t care. His dad told him they were going to walk through a forest, swim in a lake, and sleep outside next to a fire!

“Can I climb the trees?” Ben asked excitedly.   

“Of course, big guy!” Han laughed and tousled his dark hair.

Han let Ben sit on his lap as soon as they’d come out of lightspeed, let him help control the _Falcon_ as they lowered it down toward the verdant planet below.  

“I never knew there was so much green in the whole galaxy!” Ben exclaimed as they hovered low, next to a large stone fortress with flags hanging in long lines across the courtyard.

Han smiled and held him closer. “This is going to be a great trip,” he said, squeezing his son with one arm and kissing him on the cheek.  

Ben woke with a start in his chamber. It was dark and cold, a harsh contrast to the warmth and light of his dream. He felt sad, knowing he wasn’t really in that happy time, but here in this ship with people he hated, longing for those he loved.

 _If only Rey had joined me_ , he thought. It was a constant reflection which brought on an intense irritation and rage. He believed that all his problems would be solved if Rey had accepted his offer. They could rule together, she would make him happy, and she would be happy too; he would make sure of it.  Yet, she insisted on returning to the Resistance. How could she believe he could join her? They would never accept him. They hated him.

But even if they would accept him, would he want to join them? He’d been with Snoke through such an important time in his life. Snoke had taken him in; had taught him the power of the dark side. He’d also tortured and abused him, but he was gone now, and Ben’s power was still desired by the First Order and the Rebel Alliance.

It was always one or the other. The dark or the light. He could feel the pull from both and wanted to have the power of both. Was that power more important than leaving the First Order, following the light, and being with Rey? Had he not always dreamed of ruling the galaxy in order to bring justice and peace? The First Order was the best way to ensure those dreams.

 _But does that mean I have to be one with the darkness? Couldn’t I still be a part of the First Order and use this army to rule over the people without being a murderer who would kill an entire village of people as easily as walk away from them?_ Snoke was gone, Hux was his inferior, and he had no one to prove himself to except for the people he wanted to rule.

“Ben?”

“Rey,” he said in the dark. His voice had not been used for several hours, causing it to come out as an inaudible whisper. The stars cast tiny beams of light across the room, but he could barely see her; she must be in the dark as well.

“I can feel you here, but I can’t see you. Are you sleeping?”

“I’m here,” he said in a low voice. He was closer than she expected and it surprised her.

“I don’t know why I’m here,” she said. “I was sleeping, then I woke from a nightmare and I could feel your presence. I could hear your voice too, but it was… like… they were just your thoughts. Quick and quiet.”

_So you can hear my thoughts now?_

“I don’t know” she said, and heard him chuckle.  

He spoke again, “I think we just confirmed it, since I didn’t actually say anything.”

Rey smiled. It was much easier speaking to him without his eyes boring into her. What was it about his gaze that made her feel he could see right through her? It wasn’t because he could hear her thoughts, or search through her mind. Then it occurred to her, but before she could think it, he spoke.

_It’s because I understand you. I am connected to you in a way no one else will ever be. We have not known each other long, but when I look at you, I know who I’m seeing because I’m like you and you’re like me._

_But we’re so different._ She said it in her mind, as she assumed he was communicating that way as well.

_We make different decisions, but our feelings and our experiences are similar._

_And what about the younglings?_

_Who?_

_That’s not fair, I guess,_ she said telepathically, realizing her mistake. “Not just the children, but the older Force-users as well.” She spoke quietly from her quarters inside the Rebel base hoping not to wake anyone. “Why have you and your Knights been hunting them? They’re innocent people, just trying to live their lives in peace.”

“And you think I’m doing something to harm them?” he asked, his tone both defensive and concerned.

_Actually… though everything I’ve heard has contradicted this, and I faced three of your Knights who were looking for a Jedi, I’ve still had trouble believing you were hurting them._

This surprised Ben. She had every reason to believe they were taking these people and disposing of them, but she still thought so well of him she couldn’t make herself believe what everyone was trying to convince her of.

“Plus, I didn’t see it with my own eyes, and until I do… well, I’ll just continue to be curious, I guess. But I want you to tell me…”

“Rey,” he said, halting her garrulous rant.

Before she could venture to ask what he had to say, an image appeared in her head. She didn’t know the planet he lowered the shuttle down to, landing beside a massive temple made of bright, white stones. A young woman approached happily as Ben climbed the steps and introduced a young Force-sensitive child and her mother to her.

_Is that…?_

_A temple,_ Ben responded.

“You’re not killing them,” Rey said, her voice choked.

_No._

_But, Snoke…_

_He never knew. Rey, I fought against him all my life. It was never easy, but as long as I was his apprentice, I relinquished everything to protect this one secret._

_Ben, I… I actually don’t know what to say. That’s…_

_You don’t have to say anything. You’re not surprised, right? You said you didn’t believe I was harming them, and you were right._

_But I didn’t imagine that._ She thought, but sensing he wanted to change the subject, Rey rolled over in bed to face him. “What were you thinking about... when I appeared?” she wondered aloud, curious if he would be honest. He’d never lied before.

“I was thinking about how I will rule the galaxy.”

Rey rolled her eyes. _Still holding on to that dream, I guess._

“ _Except_ , I was thinking how it doesn’t have to be the same as I always dreamed. I don’t have to prove my darkness or my strength to Snoke. And Hux, I don’t have to prove anything to that… well… I’ll save you the obscenity of my remarks,” he said aloud.

“Who is Hux?” Rey asked.

“He used to be my equal. He and I were always competing for Snoke’s approval. He’s in command of the stormtroopers and was in command of Starkiller Base, before you and your friends blew it up.”

“So, what would you do differently?” Rey extended her leg to balance her body and her foot touched something, Ben’s leg maybe, but he didn’t flinch or move away, so she wasn’t sure. It was tepid beneath her cold toes and felt good. She pressed her other foot against him as well.

“Well, like I said, I wouldn’t have to prove anything to Snoke, so fewer dark acts. I’m not saying I would let the dark side go completely, but…”

 _You don’t need to take lives to prove your strength,_ she thought.

 _Right. You should know, my desire to rule stemmed from a desire to bring order, peace, and justice to the galaxy. You’ve seen me as a monster before, and you weren’t wrong about me and things I’ve done, but I didn’t start out that way._

_Then why would you fight against the Resistance? You have the same goals, just a different idea of how to achieve them. Why not try to work together?_

_The people’s attempt at democracy failed. Darth Vader was right: the people will follow if they are told what to do and they know the consequence is death if they disobey._

“Do you enjoy having someone rule over you?” She spoke this response, her voice raised.

“No.”

“Then what makes you think the majority of people want you to rule over them?”

“I’m… qualified.”

“What qualifies you to rule over people from all different backgrounds, living in different places, with different expectations, and dreams, and needs?”

“I…”

“You’re not.  You may be wise and powerful, Ben Solo, but no one is qualified to rule over everyone. What gave you such hubris?”

“Snoke,” he said plainly.  

Had he moved closer?  His presence felt stronger, not overbearing, but just… more, and she could have sworn she just felt his breath on her face when he spoke.

“Right. I heard the way he talked about you. ‘Son of darkness. Heir apparent to Lord Vader.’”

They both shuddered. Ben moved his other leg over, pressing her cold feet between his thighs to warm them more quickly.

“So, that’s still your dream then? To rule over everyone?”

He nodded. “Yes. And you… still refuse to join me?”

“Yes.”

They were at an impasse and spoke no more, but Ben watched as she remembered the last time they’d met. He didn’t need the use of his power to watch it play out; she let him in. He saw her saying goodbye to Chewie, leaving a message for Finn, and telling him she’d call for him when she needed to escape. He watched space fly by as the pod flew toward Snoke’s ship and saw, through her eyes, his own face above her.  

 _Did I really look that cold?_ he wondered, making sure to open his thoughts to her.

_After touching your hand and fighting with Luke about what he’d done, he refused to help me.  So, I came alone. I didn’t think you’d be happy to see me, but I wasn’t expecting that cold of a greeting from you._

_Sorry about the cuffs._

_It’s fine. I understood...though, I was with you the entire time. Did they think you couldn’t handle me?_ she teased.

 _It was a necessary precaution_.

Her memory continued, but the visions were incomplete. She didn’t need to rethink every word spoken; he was there for it. They were in the lift, her face near to his as she said she would help him. She was fighting to free herself from Snoke as he dragged her around the room, then invaded her mind.  

Ben felt his anger renewed at the thought of Snoke causing her harm and her vision stopped. She could sense his anger, felt him tense, and froze.

He felt her fear and instinct to retreat.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Rey,” he said, reaching forward but deciding not to touch her face.  He wouldn’t do that without her permission. “I know you’ve always been forced to protect yourself, but there’s no need for you to run from me. My outrage is a reaction to him hurting you and manipulating both of us. His deception and abuse is what angers me. I have no desire to hurt you, and no intention of letting anyone hurt you ever again.”

Rey could feel her own heartbeat in her ears and feared he would hear it in the close, quiet way they lay. She decided to cover it up with words. “And how do you plan to manage that... from so far away?”

“How do you know I’m far? Maybe I’m right above the planet where you’ve hidden yourself from me, just waiting to come down.”

She could hear the humor in his voice and smiled, trying to shake her head though she lay on a pillow. She reached out as well, then changed her mind, dropping her hand on the bed, just beyond where his fingers rested. They both flinched slightly, their fingers coming together, then relaxed wondering if the other would move away.

Rey sighed slowly and her mind wandered to that last meeting once more. He saw the red-clad guards moving toward her, then the memory skipped forward. She turned to see him blocking two guards as another came forward. Quickly, she attacked the third guard, leaving herself unguarded. He winced as she turned to defend herself, his hand now covering hers on the bed.

The memory skipped forward again, she was tangled with a guard, dropped her saber, and sliced the guard twice before turning to see him fighting with the last. She called out his name and threw the lightsaber across the room, where he used it to kill the last of Snoke’s elite guard.  

Skipping forward again - both of them reaching for the Skywalker saber. It shuddered between them like the center of a rope, pulled taut from both sides. Then, something happens elsewhere; something that threw them back and the picture went dark.  

Rey woke first. She saw red all around and remembered where she was. She stood quickly and searched for Ben. When she found him, she ran and kneeled by his side, placing her hand on his chest. It rose and fell and she released a sigh of relief.  

An explosion happened outside and the light caught something metal on the floor, reflecting in her eye line. She turned to see the broken lightsaber, looked back at Ben, then stood to retrieve the remnants of the weapon, but she paused. Rey looked down at Ben, back to the lightsaber, then heard something in the hall and rushed to escape.

 _This is when I gave up on you,_ she thought. _I wish I had the clarity to know what to do in that moment, but I was sure I had lost you for good. I wish I had found a way to take you with me and to keep you safe - and keep others safe from you - while I convinced you to take our side, but I lacked the confidence to do it._

He didn’t respond. She was probably right. If she had tried to wake him, they might have fought and possibly killed each other. Hux had come in after. Would he have hurt Rey? The thought threatened to anger Ben once more, but he didn’t want to push her away. Actually, the more he thought of Hux trying to hurt Rey, the more he almost wanted her to go away so he could find Hux and kill him immediately, but that wouldn’t help his cause.  

Rey was beginning to fall asleep, and he could see her mind taking her back to Jakku. He watched as she scratched a tally into a metal wall; she had been alone for so long. He watched the sun set over sandy dunes and felt Rey’s consciousness fading.

“What were you dreaming about that woke you tonight?” he asked.

She was sleepy and her response was unfiltered. “The Rebellion,” she said. “I always dreamed of joining them, but never wanted to leave Jakku… in case my parents returned. What if you had found BB-8 before I did? What if the Teedo had not tried to abduct him and he just… passed by, beyond my notice? I would never have met you, or Finn…” she yawned. “Luke, Leia, or Han. I’d still be on Jakku, scavenging for parts to feed myself. I’d still be alone.”

“And that was your nightmare?”

Rey hummed her response, a confirmation, and small crack warped his heart. For so long Snoke had trained him to be numb to sympathy. To treat the plights of others as insignificant. It was as if Rey were teaching him to care all over again. He couldn’t help but to feel her pain or her happiness. He could grieve for her life which was so like his own and through this action, would learn to consider others as well.

She began blowing air through a space made by her bottom lip and he realized she was attempting to blow back a hair that had fallen across her face, tickling her nose. He reached over carefully and brushed the hair back with his fingers, the tips sliding softly over her head. She hummed again, approvingly, and he continued brushing his fingers along her hair until she fell asleep.  

He made sure not to search her mind as she slept, unable to control what she saw or stop him from seeing, but he still watched her face. He saw her smile and say his name and, for the first time in years, he smiled too. The feeling was overwhelming. He didn’t know what true happiness could do to him; he’d been frozen in anger and sadness for so long. What right did he have to be happy when so many things had gone wrong?  

It didn’t matter. She was here, she let him physically near, shared her thoughts and opinions, felt safe enough to fall asleep in his care, and smiled in her sleep when she said his name. This was enough to make him happy, for now. Happy until she disappeared and he was plunged into darkness once more.

* * *

Rey woke early with the light of the sun shining brightly in her eyes. She was hoping Ben might be there, but the connection had severed and he was gone. _Had that really happened or was it just a dream?_ He was so different, it’s possible she was only imagining what she wished he could be.

Before leaving for Ilum, Rey had an early breakfast with Finn and Rose, and she asked Finn about the man who’d taken him from his family to add him to the army of the First Order.

“Brendol Hux,” Finn said, his mouth closed over a forkful of flatcakes.

Rey’s heart skipped a beat. She hadn’t known of Hux before, but this fit with what Ben had told her. “Hux. I don’t know that name.”

“He’s dead now, but his son is second in command to Kylo Ren, and was in charge of Starkiller Base. He and Ren were both responsible for recovering the piece of the map that led to Luke Skywalker; the piece that simply fell into your lap,” he smiled, shaking his head. “And mine.  It’s crazy, it was all a fluke, but look how it’s worked out. You were exactly the person needed for the job. You’ve seen Kylo Ren several times and somehow got him to kill Snoke as well.”

Rey glanced down. Finn didn’t notice, but she thought Rose might have.

At least now she knew, her time with Ben had not been a dream. If only she could find a way to convince Finn there was still hope for Ben Solo. If only she could convince Ben to see the benefit of the light within himself. She decided to forget it for now. The solution would not come easy and the more she thought about it, the more frustrating and hopeless it seemed.  

Finn was retelling Rose the story of their meeting with Han Solo and Chewie. He’d finally realized Rey was responsible for shutting the door which saved him from the Rathtar carrying him away to save as a snack for later.  

“Then we pulled up to Maz’s castle and this is when I realized this poor desert girl had been stuck in that junkyard her entire life. It was so sad. She said, ‘I never knew there was this much green in the whole galaxy.’”

Rey remembered the look on Han’s face when she’d said that, like it was familiar to him, but she didn’t know why. She smiled, remembering how these people had saved her. They accepted her even though they knew nothing about her. She wondered if the Alliance would give a chance to another; if they would ever be able to accept Ben Solo as she had.


	4. Visitations

The ivory tempest of Ilum baffled Rey. She glared through the cockpit’s viewport, unable to gauge the distance between the ship and the ground below without help from the  _ Falcon’s _ navigational systems. Flurries of white spiraled wildly in every direction, dancing around the starship as Rey and Chewbacca found their way to the Jedi Temple with the coordinates R2-D2 had stored, taken from the Jedi Archives.

When they landed the earth was still dark, though the sun would soon rise, and its light could be seen, a pale white haze cresting the horizon.

“Will you stay on the ship?” Rey asked Chewbacca.

He responded with a nod and an affirming rumble, undeterred from his work. The Wookie focused carefully; it was important he keep the girl safe while she was in his care. Some would haughtily assert that one person did not matter in the grand scheme of things - especially not an insignificant scavenger girl from nowhere - but Chewie had seen enough of war to know one certain kind of person could be more valuable than an entire army, and Rey was just that sort of person.

“I understand. I see it’s lovely, but I don’t much care for the cold either,” Rey responded to Chewie’s criticism of the weather.

_ Especially since it reminds me of that day,  _ Rey thought, fighting against the memory of Han’s death as it tried to slither its way to the forefront of her brain. She hated the clarity with which the visual appeared in her mind. Rey never expected she would come to care so profoundly for the damaged man who had killed his own father, and she wished she could have that memory removed from her brain.  

But she couldn’t keep the memory at bay and it poisoned her heart, making her uncertain of her affection for Ben.  _ Why do I always feel so sure of his goodness and my regard for him when we speak, but as soon as he’s far away again, I question everything?  _

She didn’t share any of this with her partner; that day was even more difficult for him than it had been for Rey. Instead she said, “I hope it won’t be too cold inside the temple, shielded from the wind.”

Chewbacca responded in Shyriiwook, expressing his assurance and questioning her.

“I do,” she said, confirming she had a thick coat to wear outside, “and no: I  _ am _ nervous, but not afraid. Are you sure you want to stay here?”

Chewie responded; he preferred to stay with the  _ Falcon _ and told Rey to stay safe.

“I will, thank you.” Rey tried to smile, charmed that he spoke of the ship as if it were a child they had to care for, but her eyes were unaffected by the gesture. She had no idea what to expect in the temple; no one to guide her, as far as she knew.

Rey hoped Luke would appear when they arrived, but he had not shown himself since they’d departed from Kalda and instructed her to visit this frosted sphere. (She had seen Leia, as she waited on Arceleon, but Leia knew nothing of the caves, and they only discussed Ben.)

She sauntered deliberately through the  _ Millenium Falcon _ , giving the ghost of Luke Skywalker time to appear, but she needed to consider her partner.  Chewie would be waiting and she didn’t know how long her venture into the caves would take. Finally she grabbed her staff and fur lined coat, and stepped out into the perpetual squall to face the caves of Ilum.

Large stones jutted from the earth toward the mountain, seemingly pointing her in the direction she was meant to travel. Rey raised an arm, attempting to shield herself from the violent winds pushing her back. The frozen vapor filling the air crystallized on her coat, wisps of hair flailing from beneath her hood, and the ends of her lashes.

As she approached the mountain, Rey tripped on a piece of rock raised from the surface at an angle so defined she knew it must have been made by the hands of a sentient creature.  Once she gained her footing, she could feel smooth cuts sculpted beneath her feet and she knelt on one knee and brushed the snow aside with both hands.

_ An ornate circle carved in front of a mountain on a remote planet no one would ever want to visit: must be a Jedi Temple, _ she thought.

The exterior of the mountain was made up of rectangular obelisks with beveled crowns, stacked together to hide the temple within. The threshold wasn’t visible, so Rey used the Force, standing at the center of the circlet with her hand out. She connected with the ancient sanctuary, requesting the entrance be revealed to her. Several of the columns shook, then crumbled, and the resultant dust was swept up with the snow, carried away in the blizzard.

Rey opened her eyes to see geometric designs carved symmetrically into the mountainside a mile high, framing a polygonal corridor. She sprung forward, eager to see what lay within. She ran until she reached the angled archway, then stopped to caress the thick icicles hanging from above. The sun had finally risen beyond the horizon and reflected brightly off them. These wintry crystals reminded her of the stalactites that hung from the ancient caves of Jakku, or on crashed ships that lay, decaying for centuries, becoming one with the hot sand and stone.

Rey sneered at where that memory had taken her - to another desolate, lonely place - and she walked forward, entering the Temple.

This Temple contained only one large room; a foyer to the caves.  It was round with a high domed ceiling and the circular wall was carved with patterns and pillars. Near the top, before it angled to form the dome, there was an annular row of hexagons. The opening on the inner side of the entrance was flanked by two statues of Jedi, their sabers raised, sculpted with stunning detail. Two hooded Jedi with bowed heads and hands pressed together, stood opposite them. The hair on Rey's arms raised and she rubbed one hand absentmindedly over the bumps on her skin.

“Astonishing, they are,” a froggy voice emanated from the center of the circular Temple, and Rey's heart stopped. 

She was surprised there was someone there. Was an old Jedi sent to guard the Temple? Had no one told him the Jedi Order was abolished long ago? Or maybe she was being met by another Force-sensitive, sent with the same task given to Rey.

But when she lay her eyes upon the small creature, clear as the hanging crystals at the entrance, and shrouded in a haze of blue light, she knew this was another ghost come to guide her.

“Breathtaking,” she replied sincerely, her words a winded whisper.

“Welcome, young Rey. Happy you found your way, I am.”

Rey nodded. “Artoo had the coordinates and Chewbacca flew with me. Oh! Um, R2-D2 is an astromech and Chewbacca…”

“Know them, I do,” he croaked with a smile.

“Oh,” Rey said. His knowledge of her allies allaying her uncertainty. “And who are you?”

“Yoda, is my name.”

_ Master Yoda! No way!  _

Rey lowered her head and bent her legs, but not sure if it was appropriate to bow, she straightened them quickly. Yoda watched with amusement as she bounced discreetly a few times, unable to make up her mind, then finally just bowed her head several inches and said, “It's an honor to meet you, Master Yoda.”

Yoda lowered his head respectfully and said, “All mine, the pleasure is. “ 

Rey blushed and stepped forward, “ Did Master Skywalker se…?” Rey froze. She couldn't ask Master Yoda if Luke Skywalker sent him! People didn't send Master Yoda! He went where he wished. 

“Guide you, Luke would, if the experience, he had, but talk about it later, we can...the sun rises.”

“Of course. The caves.”

“Focused, you are,” Yoda said, pride apparent in his eyes. “That is good. No place more sacred than this, there is.”

“What’s inside?”

“Only what you take with you.” A roguish smile crossed his face, his eyes full of the memory and knowledge of hundreds of years.

Rey blinked, confused by his reaction to his own response, but as he said, they could discuss it later. She had a job to do.

Rey nodded and Yoda’s eyes traveled up toward the line of hexagons near the ceiling. He reached up with one hand and the inner stone of one split and slid away to reveal the sun. It reached toward the center of the room where a metal fixture hung, supporting a cumbrous crystal. The sunlight hit the crystal and Yoda rotated his hand, causing the fixture to spin and the sunlight to shine brightly on a lofty archway, blocked by a wall of ice.

Rey stepped forward as the ice melted and the water splashed down, flowing over a short stair, then disappeared through cracks beneath the floor. 

“Enter the crystal cave, you must. Trust yourself and make it through, you will.”

Rey nodded, but did not move. She tilted her head back, gazing up to where the light of the sun did not shine and saw the arched top of the cave entrance was still frozen. “As the sun sets, the ice will lower and the entrance will be blocked,” she speculated knowingly.

“Yes,” Yoda confirmed. “Once your Kyber crystal, you’ve found, return here quickly, you must.”

Rey nodded and ascended the stairs. She stopped in the entrance and turned toward Yoda, who nodded with a kind, encouraging expression on his wrinkled face. Rey smiled, her heart pounding, and sprang toward the cave, anxious to find her crystal.  

Rey didn’t stop to admire the row of large pillars or the icy caves. When the cave split, she used her senses and took the tunnel to the left without delay. Before long she had entered another circular room, surrounded by identical passages, and she pulled a stone from the floor of the cave and placed it in the rectangular doorway she entered through, to remember where she came from. 

Each opening had a blocky light above, but she couldn’t discern any disparity with which to differentiate. Rey sighed and stepped patiently toward the center. She closed her eyes and reached out with the Force, hoping to feel a pull toward a particular path, and she felt it quickly. She let the Force guide her and stepped slowly, her eyes still closed, until she reached the tunnel.  

“What have you got for me?” she asked with delighted curiosity to the dark space ahead, wandering eagerly into the unknown.

The tunnel opened up, the space around her growing, and crystals sprouted all around; from the ceilings, walls, and floors. Rey began to wonder how she would find the crystal meant for her in all of this. She focused with the Force, but there was no pull to any particular crystal or any direction. The more she used the Force, her control of it strengthened, and with her eyes closed, her focus improved. She shut her lids and reached out into the caves, but a whirring, crackling sound erupted in the quiet space and it’s familiarity stopped her heart.

Rey opened her eyes to see Kylo Ren standing in the darkness a couple yards away, his saber lit and flickering wildly surrounding the black clad figure in a red glow. He was masked and stood so tall the hood of his cowl nearly brushed the ceiling of the tunnel. Rey took a step back, her body filled with dread.  

“No,” she said, shaking her head. 

He stalked forward and Rey raised her staff. “Ben, don’t,” she said. He ignored her and continued forward, raising his saber to strike, but Rey was quick and always prepared to defend herself. She crouched and swung the staff hard at his legs to knock him on his back, but the staff met no resistance and he disappeared in a cloud of smoke, then reappeared in the same place, a couple yards away.

“What the…?” Rey stood straight and frowned, but the figure of Kylo Ren didn’t hesitate and pursued her again. Again, Rey prepared to fight. She swung her staff at this torso, tried to reach for the hilt of his saber, attacked his mask, stabbed at his heart, and once simply raised the staff the block his saber, but each time he disappeared and reappeared to attack again.

Beads of sweat sprang from her pores and dripped across her head and arms, causing the red light of his saber to glisten more luminously against her skin. She searched the dark beyond for a way through, but it became apparent that if she wanted to continue on, to earn her crystal, she would have to conquer this test.

_ But what am I supposed to do? I’ve tried everything! I keep trying to fight him, but how do I defeat a cloud a smoke?  _

Then it occurred to her that this issue was all too relative to the test she’d faced recently. As she sat in her hut, or outside the  _ Falcon _ beside the sea, on Ahch-To, she had wanted to harm him, to make him pay for the crimes he’d committed, but it was impossible. Though they were eventually connected well enough to touch, she could not kill him when she wished to.  

_ In fact, it wasn’t until I listened, and spoke to him, that I learned the truth and was able to reach Ben Solo.  _ Rey shook her head.  _ Always so defensive, so eager to battle and to fight for my life, or for what is right, but maybe fighting isn’t always the answer. _

She remembered Rose’s proclamation which Finn now shared with every new recruit of the Rebellion; repeated so often if had become a mantra he would remember when his mind decayed and every other detail of his life faded.

“Don’t fight what you hate. Save what you love,” Rey said aloud, admitting for the first time, even if only to herself, that she loved Ben Solo. There wasn’t time to bring forth each good memories they shared, but the touch of his fingers on her head, the most recent memory she had, was enough to give her strength in this moment.

Rey walked backward until a great distance stood between herself and the ghostly figure of her enemy; the man she loved. He approached once more and she stood tall to face him, walking forward and tossing her staff aside, ignoring the shattering of a crystal cluster from the force with which she discarded her only weapon.

He raised his saber, but she didn’t hesitate and didn’t flinch away from him.  

“Save what you love. Save what you love.” It was now her mantra as well, and she muttered it devotedly; a passionate affirmation. “Save what you love.”

He was only a few feet away now, and the red beam reached the point where soon it would swing forward, ready to slice through her. Though it wouldn’t harm her physically, she could feel the weight of the action in her soul. If they were to meet in battle and she refused to fight him, would he stick with his allies and strike her down? What would hurt worse; the heat of the blade or his betrayal?

Rey reached up to place both hands on his mask, activated the device to remove it from his face, and the volatile saber appeared to explode in the air, surrounding them both in a burst of red.  She removed the mask to find Ben smiling gratefully down at her, then he disappeared and a different, violet-colored glow shone beyond, like a beacon lighting her way.

Rey was proud to have overcome this challenge, but felt anxious. The cave was testing her in a way she was grateful for, and she would remember these lessons when she left, but she was ready to get her crystal and get back to reality. She ran forward, following the light into a massive cavern where crystals of all sizes sprouted toward the center, but two stood out.

On the other side of the cave two large stones stood to the height of her hips, each supporting a different colored crystal gleaming so powerfully, they lit the vast space with ease.  These were clearly intended for her, but which one was she meant to take? 

She walked forward, passing crystals so large they matched her size, but though she was curious and awed by this lovely, spectacular place, Rey was undeterred and continued forward. Then, just steps away from her goal, several figures appeared, preceding the stones, and Rey froze.

Her parents stood, a purple light glowing behind them, as they blocked her way to the crystal on the left. They were just as she remembered them at the best of times; standing side by side, arms around each other, pride in their eyes, and smiles as they looked upon the face of their only child.  

“Rey!” Her mother beamed ecstatically, and they each opened an arm to welcome her.  

The woman’s pleasure in seeing her daughter somehow erased the pain of their last moment together, and a sob escaped Rey’s chest as tears quickly sprang from her eyes. She felt like a child and stepped forward, anxious to be embraced by her mother and father once more.

Then a voice to her right stopped her. “Rey. What are you doing?” Ben’s low voice had a gentle and loving, yet somehow, smug tone. She turned to face him and raised her chin proudly. Red light radiated behind him as she stood between the red and the purple, feeling the pull to both.  

“Ben,” his name surged from her lips as easily as if she’d known it all her life. As though it lived on her tongue, waiting for breath and voice to choose it, to release it.

“They abandoned you, Rey. You don’t want to go to them. Come with me,” he reached forward, and his ungloved hand seemed to have a presence of it’s own, a presence that begged to be touched; a space forged to perfection for her hand to rest. 

Rey looked back to her parents, worried how they would react to him, but they were not offended. They were focused on the happiness of their daughter. “Rey, we’re sorry we had to leave. We always intended to come back to you,” her father said.  

“I waited,” Rey lamented. “For fifteen years. If my friends hadn’t come… I would still be there, waiting for you.” This was both a testament of her love for them, and concern for the length of time they had left their daughter alone.

“We know, honey,” her mother said. “We tried to come back, but… it was impossible. We’re here now, and if you choose us, we will be returned to you.”

Rey’s body leaned to the left, her desire to join them pulling at her heart, but her feet stayed planted. She wished Ben was right, that she had no place in this war and she could let go of it all, but she could feel the pull of the Force as it groped for balance and the dark side grew more powerful, tipping the scales. The galaxy needed her help and she would do what was right.

“They’re not real. I’m real. Come find me, Rey, and I will never leave you. Join me and I will never betray you.”

Rey stepped back, his words pulling her back into her mind far enough to remind her none of this was real. It was a test and if she wanted to pass, she needed to think clearly.  

_ Join me. It’s always join me with him. And these two, _ she thought bitterly, turning her head and trying not to let the surprise of their appearance affect her.  _ Is it true? If I choose them, will they return, and be with me? _

It was all she ever wanted. After all she’d been through in the past two years, she could not deny the firmly held desires of fifteen years.  _ But, do I want them back now? I have friends and family of my own. People I choose to be with, who choose to stay with me. I don’t need my parents, but do I want them? _

_And Ben,_ she thought, turning to meet his gaze. He looked flawless; his lips resting in a soft smile and his dark eyes kind and gentle. He had shed the mask of the monster he once was, and appeared as the man she’d only seen glimpses of; the man she wished he would be. Could she choose him knowing he was still loyal to the First Order? Though he would care for her, he may expect her to join the dark side of the Force. Rey didn’t walk firmly in the light, but she planned to remain connected to it. She would not fear the darkness, but refused to surrender to it completely.

Rey turned back to her parents, but they weren’t alone anymore. Rose and Finn stood on either side of them, smiling and waiting for Rey to join them. Her heart sank as she realized, this wasn’t just about choosing between her parents and Ben; her past or her future, because these people were part of her future as well. Also, and she hated to admit, but it was true, she felt slightly more inclined to choose Ben above the others, and that made her feel guilty.

_ So, what’s the answer? If I choose them, I leave Ben alone, and he will surely be lost to the darkness without me. I care about him and I want to save him. But if I choose Ben, I betray my family and I’ll never see my parents again. Will I be able to turn from them now that I have a chance to get them back?  _ The sacrifice was great, but either way, she would lose. _ Who do I choose? Who needs me more and how do I betray either of them? _

Indignation filled her as these and other such questions formed in her mind.  _ Why should they regard either choice as a betrayal? And why do I even have to choose between one of the other? I don’t!  _ She thought, tempestuously.  _ This is my life and if I want to love Ben and be with my family, the other will accept it, if they truly care for me.  _

Another figure appeared, not standing to one side, and not as clearly defined as the others. This shadow stood between them, and Rey knew what she had to do. 

She cautiously made her way forward and the shadow’s features slowly cleared to reveal her choice. A smile formed at the edges of Rey’s lips as she crept closer and saw herself, not as she was now, but as she could be; content, strong, and free of the eternal suffering that seemed to ravage her life, like the storms of Ilum. 

But something else happened she did not expect. As she moved closer, the others who had begged her to join them were pulled inward toward the Shadow Rey. Her parents remained behind and eventually faded, but Rose, Finn, and Ben drifted inward to stand beside her. 

The shadow’s arms were stretched outward, to the left and right, but when Rey was at arm’s length, she brought them forward, a crystal held in each hand. Rey looked down, watching as she brought her hands together, one sliding beneath the other as support while the crystals fell together, tinkling softly as they lay cradled in one hand.

Rey was almost positive of her next move, but now was not the time to be hasty, or greedy. “I take both?” she asked, looking up to the once hazy figure, now clear as day before her.

The other Rey nodded with a smile. 

Rey looked at the others as they smiled toward her, fully supporting her decision to choose herself. Her hand rose slowly, calmly, and as she gripped the stones, red and purple creating a violet glow on all of them, their light faded.

“Save what you love,” the figures said, then they vanished and the cave grew dark around her.

“Whoa!” Rey said, her eyes and smile wide. She couldn’t wait to tell them all about this. Rose and Finn would be… well, she could tell Rose right away, but would have to wait until after Ahch-To to tell Finn, and they would both be amazed. Ben would be pleased she didn’t immediately turn away from him, but would it hurt his pride that she had not chosen him outright? He would need to look at her choice, consider his own loyalties, and accept that she had them too. That’s what this was about, anyway. She needed to choose her own path and that would lead to the balance needed in the galaxy, somehow.

Rey sniffed and wiped the drying tears from her face before turning on one foot and sprinting back toward the Temple entrance, grabbing her staff on the way and making it back to Yoda with plenty of time to spare. She rushed down the stairs and proudly displayed her two crystals to Yoda.

He smiled, and she could see the wheels turning in his head as he considered this discovery. 

“Well done. Learn anything, have you?” he asked.

Rey had a feeling he knew and wondered what he expected her to say. She nodded and smirked reticently, though she wanted to confess every detail, discuss every decision, and ask about the fact that she had found not one, but two crystals! What did that mean? 

“Good. A renewed confidence, I see in you.”

Rey nodded. “I feel it. I’m not free of doubt, but the cave has provided answers and helped me find the wisdom I need to carry on.”

“Feel it, you can: the disturbance in the galaxy. A choice you have, whether or not you will take part in returning the balance.”

“I will, Master Yoda. I want to help… I’ve found my place and I’m ready.”

Yoda smiled. “You are exactly what Skywalker needed and he will be proud.”

“Will I see him again?”

“Of that, I cannot say, but another there is, who can help you.”

“Another ghost?”

“No. To Takodana, you must go.  There, you will find the one to guide you.”

“Yes, Master Yoda.”

“Go now, and may the Force be with you.”

Rey bowed her head, hesitated to smile at him, and to relish this experience. Then she pulled her hood up, tightened her grip on the crystals, and jogged toward the  _ Falcon _ excited to tell Chewbacca what had happened in the caves.

* * *

“So?” Hux asked, his face pinched and impatient. “Were you able to seek out the girl to find the rebels?”

Ren shook his head, working as ever to hide the disappointment he felt so often as of late.  It was the new mask he wore after destroying the previous mask; steady, strong, Supreme Leader Ren. Ren knew Hux was enjoying his failure and decided now was the time to share what he had learned on his trip, in regards to the errand Hux had requested.

“I’ll admit, it was difficult to try and search for the Rebellion surrounded by the inane wonderings and tasks of your troopers. I may be able to sense the girl easier if I’m alone. Which reminds me, several of your troopers are considering following in the footsteps of FN-2187. The loss of Phasma seems to have affected their loyalty.”

“How many?!” Hux demanded erratically, letting his guard down. He was always defensive with Ren, once in competition to gain favor with their leader. Even now, with Ren as Supreme Leader, he didn’t feel beneath him. He even considered ending their alliance, but it could be dangerous to suggest it, and he needed to be sure to guard his thoughts when Ren as near, until the right time.

“Six,” Ren responded, watching closely as Hux reacted to this news, then attempted to cover it up. Ren also tried not to react. It would be unprofessional and foolish of him to revel in the collapse of the army he hoped to control, but it was difficult not to enjoy seeing Hux squirm in his own skin.

“Six?! Impossible! You must be mistaken! Give me their designations!” he demanded.

Ren began listing them from memory. Hux crossed his hands, then threw them apart. “Stop! Can you write it down?”

Ren nodded, one side of his lips lifting to smirk cruelly. “I’ll get that to you soon. Anything else, Grand Marshal?”

“No, Supreme Leader.”

“Good. Have my shuttle prepared for departure. I’ll be leaving again soon.”

“Shouldn’t the leader of the First Order be available to the people he’s leading? I understand it’s important to find the Rebellion, and you feel that your power will help you find the girl and lead us to them, but you’ve failed so far and I don’t know that it’s worth it.”

Ren turned, looking down on Hux without tilting his head. Honestly, Hux’s opinion didn’t bother him, but he liked to see him writhe. He made his head twitch, pretending to be deranged with anger.

Hux noticed the movement and took a step back, not that it would save him if Ren decided to punish him for his opinions.

“You let me know when your soldiers are ready, all on the same page, then I’ll be here to lead them.” At that he turned away, and headed for his room to write down the IDs of the troopers he sensed were feeling unsure of their allegiance to the First Order, and wait for his shuttle to be prepared.

Hux sneered and turned away to do as he was told.

Lah-mu was basically deserted; populated only by those who had been there so long they were once called settlers, but were now considered its native inhabitants. There used to be more, but their numbers dwindled, the farmers and their droids able to manage the vast farmland without much help.

This was the place Ben chose to escape to; only the Knights of Ren knew his location - though they were still out seeking Force-users across the galaxy.

Upon arrival Ben connected to Hux via holocron. “I've landed. Have you interrogated your troopers?”

“Yes. Four were sent to conditioning and two were deemed innocent,” Hux responded.

Ben sensed a lie, but at this distance, he couldn't be sure where the bluff existed.

Hux’s lip curled haughtily and he said, “How can you hope to locate the a Rebellion when your powers can't even accurately assess…”

His words cut off as he gagged from the Force pressing hard against his throat. 

_ Damn. I've gone too far. _

“You'd be wise to regard your tone more deliberately when you speak to me,” Ben said coolly. He released the arrogant twit and Hux bent forward, fitting to fill his lungs with air.

Ben disconnected and departed the shuttle, heading for a small farmhouse deserted decades ago. It was built into a rocky mountain, giving it the feeling of a cave, with all the accommodations of a house. He'd been there once before, but then the isolation had seemed to crush him and now he longed for it, hoping it would bring the presence of the one person he hoped to see.

As he stood outside the house, staring out across the sea and up at the wide rings that circled the planet, he  _ was _ visited, but not by Rey.

“This is lovely. I don't think I've ever seen this place. Where are we?”

“Why would I tell you?” he asked. “Why would I give you information you'll just use to help them destroy me?”

“My son, you must know that's not my intention,” Leia responded.  _ Apparently he's finished grieving me, _ she thought.

“Is it not? This is me, mother. I'm not your little boy who needs to be redeemed. I am Supreme Leader,” he growled, banging his chest. “I control the First Order and the galaxy.”

Leia stared directly at him, expressionless, and stayed that way, watching as his rage subsided and his breathing slowed.

Then, though she tried not to, she laughed. The more she tried to control it, the more difficult it became.

Ben stared at her incredulously, sighed, and walked away as her transparent figure stayed behind, bent over laughing.

“I'm sorry!” she called after him, her blue form appearing between Ben and the door he stomped toward. “Ben, you just… you reminded me of something.”

“Please, mama, not another happy story from my childhood. You'll run out soon.”

Leia scowled at him. “If you wish me not to remember you as a child, don't behave like one.”

“I…”

“Enough!” she commanded so severely he froze, his heart sinking like a child's when they know they're in trouble. “I'm not here to argue with you. Have you considered what I said… before?”

“I don't care what you said,” he replied, spitefully. He wasn't even sure why he was so angry with her. There was always that residual anger from his youth, but this was more. Maybe it was a result of his bad mood. He was lonely and hated the lack of control he had when it came to his connections with Rey. He’d been hoping to find her and his failure was discouraging and maddening. Plus, speaking with Hux always soured his disposition.

“Impossible man!” Leia said, thinking of Ben’s father. His smile filled her head and she paused, grinning despite herself. 

Then Han’s voice echoed, “My hands are dirty, too. What are you afraid of?” 

She reminisced of the way her hands had trembled and how his lips felt against hers that first time. Then again and again, leading her here, to this stubborn child.

When she cleared her mind, he was gone, inside the dilapidated farmhouse, and she rolled her eyes and followed him.

“Are you done?”

“Done with what?” she asked, defensively.

“Thinking about Dad,” he said, averting his eyes shamefully to avoid her gaze.

“How did you…?”

“When you're thinking of him you either have  _ that _ smile, one you save just for him… or you look pissed.”

Leia chuckled and looked at her son, surprised he had been that observant.

“You know, I was heartbroken after what you did.”

“I…”

“No. Let me finish. I believed I could actually hate you, my own son. What type of person can kill his own father? It would be easy to lose hope and write you off as a lost cause, a murderous snake! But... you are my son and how could I find peace, holding onto such hate? 

“So, I thought, what could his reason have been for killing Han? I could still feel there was good in you then. I’m sure Snoke could sense it as well and convinced you that you were weak for having feelings that are deemed loving, saved for those on the side of light. 

“You needed a reprehensible act to prove your strength to Snoke and when your father arrived, you found your chance. If killing the scavenger would please your Master, what pride and, illusion of acceptance, would you earn by killing your own father?”

“You’re thinking too much into this,” Ben said, solemnly.

“Am I? Because I think you believed killing your father would prove your loyalty to Snoke, but all it did was reveal your true self.  You proved that you love your father. I don’t know why you’re so desperate to destroy our family legacy, and I don’t forgive you for ending your father’s life, but killing him did prove you believe your connection to him was your greatest weakness.”

“You’re wrong,” he said, thinking of the two women he loved even more.

Leia smiled. “Well, substantial at least.”

“I couldn’t kill you,” he said.

Leia tried to ignore the hint of shame in his voice. Was he embarrassed that he couldn’t fire the shot that had almost been her end, or ashamed he’d even considered it before realizing he couldn’t?

She nodded, gratefully.

“I don’t know how you survived. I would have stopped the blast, if I had known…”

_ That!  _ Leia thought, watching is lip tremble helplessly.  _ This was the source of his shame: he failed to stop the blast.  _ She felt proud of her son once more.

“As we crept through space, headed for Crait, I shut myself off from the Force. I didn’t know you’d be...  _ distracted _ , _ ” _ she said suggestively, “and didn’t want to risk you feeling my presence, and finding us.”

Ben nodded. “I’ve seen her,” he began quietly, “since the last time I saw you.”

“She told me,” Leia responded.

“So, you know where she is?” he asked, looking up at his mother, hopefully.

“Yes, but I won’t tell you.”

“Why not?” he wondered angrily, standing to tower over her spectral form.

“You know the reason, Ben,” she responded.

“Don’t call me that!” he raged, whipping his lightsaber from his belt and igniting it, the room around them reflecting red.

Leia shook her head. “I want you two to be together, but not like this,” she said scrutinizing her anguished son. “Not like this,” she repeated, gesturing toward him before fading away.

“NO!” he howled, slashing at the walls of the building until the house threatened to crumble around him. He stormed out, searching for something more to destroy. He wanted to pull the rings from the sky, littering the planet with the debris like shrapnel, killing everything in its path, himself included. He thrust his hand skyward, then heard a gasp and turned quickly.

A small girl stood in the shadow of the rings, feet covered in the black sand of the beach, and shells littering the ground beneath her; dropped in petrified terror.

Ben turned his body to face her, and she stepped back staring at the massive man and the sparking red saber in his hand. He reached out and she whimpered, stepping further away. “Go home,” he commanded.

She didn’t hesitate, and Ben relaxed, turning off the saber and returning it to his belt.  

Ben swore, angry he’d lost his temper, and once again wished he could be the immovable force his grandfather had once been in the world. He was tired of being known as the unstable, temperamental fool who lashed out over any disappointment.

If only he had the strength to relinquish the light, free himself of the conflict, and give into the darkness, he wouldn’t have to feel this way. The pain was jarring: the exchange with his mother bringing to the surface the pain of his father’s murder, the experiences he missed out on with her, and the unbreachable distance between him and Rey. He didn’t know how much longer his heart could take the strain. Despite the desire to join Rey, he wanted control and power - to deny all emotions and survive purely with the power of the Sith. 

Ben dropped to his knees, the dark grains of sand poking roughly through the fabric covering his knees. “Please, grandfather,” he pleaded, tears cascading down his face. “Show me the way. Please.”

* * *

An elderly Togruta and a large beast made their way up the Titan Mountain, side by side. The air grew wet and cold as they ascended the misty mountain path, then the beast - thick with fur and walking on four legs - stopped at the bottom of a steep stairwell carved into the rock.

“Are you okay, big guy?” The Togruta asked, crouching before him and scratching his neck beneath both ears.

He breathed heavily, hot air rushing into his companion’s face as she sneered, turning away.

“Oh, Rex! You need to take care of that breath,” she said, waving her hand in front of her face.

The beast looked up to meet her eye, his expression seeming both apologetic and ashamed. She smiled sympathetically, scratched his head, and stood straight.

“Come on! We’re almost there,” she said, turning back to the stair.

There was a large terrace at the top of the path, and any who managed the climb were rewarded with a glorious panorama. To the west was an immense city - spanning miles toward the south - away from the mountain. Beside the city was the Arpedias River, wider than any other in the galaxy, which flowed from the mountain, following the city southward. It trickled to the west, creating a vast canyon over several millennia. All of this could be viewed from any point on the carved out platform, but where most stopped to bask in the glory of their achievement, she passed.

Once they reached the dais, the beast found a sunny spot to rest, and the Togruta continued up the jagged slope of the mountain, uncut by those who had crafted the vista viewing area. She would reach the true top of the mountain and from that height, rest on a rocky podium, using the Force to weigh the climate of the galaxy.

Others might need news from the holonet, or written on paper, delivered by media sources or friends and family in other systems, but she didn’t need to know the name of the organization or individuals who believed themselves to be lords and leaders. The Force ruled over all; the Force was master of the galaxy, and lately it was becoming increasingly unbalanced. She could sense a change was on its way.

As she ascended the natural precipice, Rex stood below and began barking up at her, loud booming barks echoing off the mountainside and filling the air around her.

“Rex. Quiet!” she called down in a hushed voice, hoping not to bring too much attention to herself. It was clear he was trying to warn her of something, his senses were even more finely-tuned than her own, but it would not help to alert the person of her approach.

She leaned into the mountain, crawling toward the top, but when she peeked over the ridge, no one was there.

Rolling her eyes, she lifted her lower body to the narrow ledge using only the strength in her arms, and turned toward her pet with her hands on her hips.

“ _ Karabast _ , Rex! What is wrong with you?”

He continued to bark, standing on his hind legs, his front paws pressed against the mountainside. 

“Rex, what’s wrong? Look! I’m fine. Stop barking.”

“Intelligent the beast is, and strongly connected to the Force, but understand all your words, he cannot.”

“Master Yoda,” she acknowledged grimly, turning to face him, and bowing her head respectfully.

“Ahsoka Tano. So good to see you, it is. And surprised I was, to find you.”

Her brow curved curiously. They had not parted on good terms, but she would never be disrespectful to the former Jedi High Council Member and Grand Master. He was once her teacher and an ally in the Clone Wars. They made a mistake, allowing the Republic to imprison her when she was framed for the bombing of the Jedi Temple on Coruscant; she was grateful Anakin had so stubbornly sought the truth to free her, but from then on she would not associate herself with the Jedi Order, though she never turned to the dark side.  

Ahsoka had continued to help in the Clone Wars, and when the Empire took over, she assisted the Rebels, but since the death of the Emperor, and her former master, she’d found a peaceful existence and remained hidden for many decades. Some chose deserted hideouts or small villages out of the way, but she found it easiest to maintain obscurity surrounded by hundreds of  other creatures.

Yoda was also remembering her imprisonment, when he said, “Still sorry, I am, that we betrayed your trust. Many years it has taken for me to truly understand your aversion to the Jedi Order, but now… needed, your position with the Force is.”

“Oh, you’ve got…! You’re kidding me, right?”

“No. Quite serious, I am.”

“I’m not going to help you create some new Jedi Order just to become involved in another war.  You’ve always been a bit…” she searched for the word, then raised one finger to the side of her head, circling she imply he was crazy, “but what makes you think I would want to help the Jedi?”

“Misunderstand, you do. It is not the Jedi Order I hope for you to assist.”

“Then…who?”

Yoda paused, setting his stick firmly into the rock for support, closed his eyes and breathed deeply. “Feel the imbalance, have you?”

“Yes, Master.”

Yoda’s eyes remained closed and he listened closely. He observed how voices, like skin, crinkled over time. Ahsoka’s voice had aged, but he would still be able to pick it out in a crowd, not that he would need her voice. 

“Like the old Jedi Order, this divergence is. Always only one way, our way. No indulgence or tolerance, there was.”

Ahsoka was surprised to hear Master Yoda share this opinion and she added, “It made sense, for some people, to give their lives to it completely.  If they chose to devote themselves, relinquish their life, and commit to the Jedi Order, that was fine. I just don’t believe it should have been required.”

“Agree with you now, I do. And a girl, there is, who reminds me of you. Walks that same line, without surrendering to the dark side. Most qualified to teach her, you are... and not only for that reason.”

“What’s the other reason?” Her body slumped as she realized she was considering his request.  _ I just want to be left alone. _ But she knew that if the evil in the world continue to outweigh the good, it would affect everyone. She could wait and see her life disrupted by chaos and tyranny, or she she could do something now.

“See for yourself, you will, if go you to Takodana. Surprise you, she will. Many of the skills and knowledge, she already possesses.”

“And will I be expected to take her to Ilum to find a crystal?” she said, the disdain clear on her face. She had once been proud she was chosen to take Padawans to find their crystals, and to help design their sabers, but her old bones couldn’t take the cold.

“Done that already, I have.” Yoda smiled at her, a generous twinkle in his eye.

Ahsoka nodded. “Fine. If you’re sure I’m the most qualified…Takodana it is. Anyway, Rex will be happy not to have to climb this mountain every day.”

Yoda chuckled. “Your Rex, named after the old captain, is he?”

Ahsoka nodded. “I don’t know that he would appreciate me naming my mutt after him, but he was dear to me once, and I chose the name to honor him.”

“Understand, he would. Grateful, he would be, to be remembered.”

No clone would ever have expected to mean much to anyone. They were made to be tools, to be disposable. There were a few Jedi who respected their service, and the desire some had to be unique, and Ahsoka was one. 

“What is the girl’s name?” Ahsoka asked. She could talk all day of the people they knew and the wars they were part of, but sometimes it simply hurt too much.

“Rey. On Takodana, she waits. The smuggler queen’s temple, you must find, and find the girl, you will.”


	5. Duality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to @itslaurenmae and @reyofdarkness for beta-reading for me.

Kylo Ren’s shuttle touched down in the sand, the landing gear sinking several feet before the surface compacted to hold the weight. The ramp dropped, giving way to the mounds of sand below, and he walked out slowly, his long cape rippling in a dusty wind.  

The heat was stifling this far out in the desert, with no buildings to cast shadows and cool the earth. Twin suns blazed down on shades of brown and yellow, scorching any natural thing attempting to grow. 

Ren wiped his brow and looked down at his space attire -  _ black, black, and more black. This won’t do. _

He returned to the ship and rode out on a speeder bike toward the city in the distance. His first stop would be a shop where he could purchase the light-colored clothing common in these desert dwellings; something he could sweat in, then dispose of when he was finished with this place. 

_ This _ **_dump_ ** _! No wonder Anakin Skywalker left the first chance he got. _

Ren knew Anakin and his mother were slaves, and when a Jedi was forced to land here unexpectedly, he won Anakin in a bet and offered to train the boy as a Jedi.  _ Qui-Gon Jinn must have sensed Anakin’s powers and hoped to use him as a tool for the Jedi. They loved to collect them young, just like Hux with his stormtroopers. _

Ren sneered at the thought. He understood the rationalization behind it, but the idea of taking children from their families to serve this “ _ greater purpose”  _ seemed foul and made his stomach churn. At least, when it came to the Jedi, the parents decided, and the younglings weren’t seized against their family’s will.  _ And parents do what they believe is best for their children… most of them. _

“I used to work there,” a voice said from behind him, interrupting Ren’s self-commiserative speculations. 

Ren had left his speeder near the outskirts of town and walked down the center of the street, searching for a clothing shop. Most of the sounds and voices he heard, he ignored, but this one was so close, it must be directed at him. People usually avoided him; his reputation, stature, and demeanor was frightening to most, and if all that wasn’t enough, the scar Rey had given made him even more intimidating. But someone was feeling brave this morning, and he turned to face him, only to find there was no one there.  

Ren frowned, placed his hand on the hilt of his saber, then turned slowly to scan the area. No one was near. They were wise enough to linger in the shadows, patronizing the crumbled clay buildings to make use of their shade. 

He continued up the road, paying closer attention to his surroundings this time. He wasn’t sure how it was possible, but he could feel the heat rising and drifted to one side, staying in the shade and scanning every building.  

“I was there the first time I saw Padme,” the same voice spoke, and Ben turned more quickly this time to catch the speaker. 

There, leaning beside a building in dark Jedi garb, a wistful smile on his scarred face, was Anakin Skywalker. Not the deformed old man he’d become, and not the young child he was when he lived here on Tatooine, but the ghost of a young Padawan, probably the same age as Ren himself. 

“Padme,” Ben repeated. “I heard my mother mention her, not that we’ve talked much,” he said casually, trying to hide his nerves.  _ It worked. He’s here! _

Anakin nodded. “Leia,” he said, his tone that of a proud father. “She was an ambitious young woman.”

Ben nodded. ‘Ambitious’ was one of many ideal words to describe his mother.  

“I still can’t believe I didn’t sense our relation the first time I met her.”

“You met her?” Ben asked.

Anakin nodded. “You must know the story. A band of rebels stole the plans to the Death Star.  We chased them to your mother’s ship, but she refused to admit she was a rebel and claimed to be on a diplomatic mission. She stored them in Artoo and he escaped with a C3P0 to  _ this _ planet to find Obi-Wan. It’s also where they found Luke, my son.”

“Do you… know who I am?”

“Of course I do. You’re my grandson. Leia’s boy.”

Ben nodded. “She’s… gone now,” he said, wondering if Anakin knew.

He nodded. “I’m sorry. She lived a long, fulfilling life. Not without regret or pain, but she did a lot for the galaxy. She reminds me so much of her mother, Padme.”

“Who you met near here?” Ren said, bringing their conversation back to where Anakin had begun.

“Right over there.” Anakin pointed to Watto's shop, which looked more like a junkyard than a proper business. 

“You worked there?”

“Watto was our owner. He won mom and me in a bet at a podrace. My mom couldn’t do much for him, but I was very good at building and fixing things. I worked in his shop every day and occasionally raced for him as well.” 

“Until the Jedi took you away.”

“Yes, Qui-Gon. He was a kind man, but not very popular among the Jedi. He didn’t always follow their rules. The council believed I was too old to begin training, but he insisted Obi-Wan train me anyway. The council could sense the darkness in me. Leaving my mother was difficult, space was foreign, and though I always dreamed of it, leaving home at that age filled me with  much fear. Did you have that issue, leaving your mother?”

“Not really. I was already a teenager, mom wasn’t around much anyway, and I wanted to be a Jedi.”

“Me too,” Anakin said, a close-lipped smile spreading across his face. “Especially when I met Qui-Gon and Padme. I regarded Jedi as heroes worthy of worship and she was… lovely. I saw her and thought she was this fragile, angelic creature. She looked like an angel, but she was tough.”

_ Like Rey, _ Ben thought, several memories crossing his mind: the lonely child he saw in her memories, the moment Rey appeared on Snoke’s ship - stripped of all her armor, Rey with tears on her cheeks in her hut on Ahch-To the night they’d touched.  

“Our children took so much from her, despite never truly knowing her.”

“That happens,” Ben said, feeling sorry for himself. “Do you remember where someone could buy clothes in this place?” he asked, changing the subject quickly.

Anakin looked him over and chuckled. “Yes. Let’s get you changed.”

They found a shop, and Ben changed from the jet black array he’d fashioned in homage to his grandfather into the unpolished browns and tans which matched the landscape around him. He tied his dark hair into a messy knot to keep it off his neck, and they departed together.

“So, what are you doing here?” Anakin asked as they returned to Ben’s speeder.

“I actually came here hoping to find you. Well, not… you. I was hoping to speak to Darth Vader.”

“I am Darth Vader.”

“No. You’re Anakin Skywalker. You’re the young man who wanted to be a Jedi. I need to speak to the man who killed them.”

“You know, even as a Padawan fighting for the Republic against the Sith and hoping for peace in the galaxy, part of me hated them. It was all very... hypocritical. I was powerful and never felt they truly respected my skills or how hard I worked. I wanted them to make me part of the council and hated them for not accepting me.”

“So, they refused you because of the conflict, but their refusal of you was what made you conflicted,” Ben summarized knowingly.

“Not exactly,” Anakin said, smiling again. “I was always conflicted, and maybe if they were more open with me, less focused on their traditions and control, they could have saved me from that conflict. Instead they denied me, pushing me closer to Palpatine.”

“Just like me. My parents neglected me, leaving the way for Snoke to manipulate me. But I killed Snoke, and now I’m Supreme Leader,” he said proudly, hoping for praise from his grandfather.

“You chose the life of the young woman who cared for you over your tormentor, that’s smart.  You should trust those instincts more often.”

Ben sighed and shook his head. “I offered to let her rule the galaxy with me, but she refused.”

“What did Snoke tell you about me?” Anakin asked, confused by Ben’s loyalty to the dark side.

“He said you were born with great power and that your father was never around, just like mine.  He told me how the Jedi refused you and that Palpatine showed you true power, allowing you to rule beside him in the Empire he created.

“He showed me the strength of the dark side. He taught me it was your conflict, empathy, and the light inside that led to the downfall of the Empire. I cannot let that same weakness defeat me,” Ben said with a fire in his eyes that burned bright as the hate Anakin had once felt in his attempt to please his master.

“You know, part of what you just said is true… but you’ve got so much of it wrong. Your perspective is twisted by the man who was bent on twisting you. 

“First of all, I had no father. The Jedi believed I was conceived by the midichlorians, and my mother was the vessel, which is why our family is so powerfully connected to the Force. 

“Also, I didn’t join the dark side because I lusted for power to rule. True, I once believed the galaxy needed a firm hand to guide it, but my wife helped me see the fault in that way of thinking. What I truly desired, more than anything, was the power to save the woman I loved. I was manipulated by the same fear which had the Jedi refusing me. I saw my mother’s death in dreams and didn’t act fast enough to save her. When I saw Padme’s death in the same manner, I couldn’t fail again. I wouldn’t survive it. Palpatine promised to teach me the power to save her, but I had to join him, and that was my downfall.

“It was a self fulfilling prophecy: joining Palpatine and turning against the light is what led to Padme’s death. If I had done the right thing and helped the Jedi end Palpatine, everything would be different. Padme would have lived, we would have raised our children together, and there would be no Empire to defeat. Your mother and uncle would have become Jedi… and you, were your mother still to somehow meet and marry your father, would be a Jedi as well. 

“Both of us were manipulated for our power, Ben, but it’s not too late for you. Don’t allow that creature to taint my memory with lies to control you.”

Ben didn’t respond. He couldn’t. Was Anakin telling the truth? He had always believed Vader had defied the Jedi for the power of the dark side, to rule, but he did it… for love? 

“If you defied the Jedi to gain the power to save Padme, why didn’t you leave Palpatine after she died?”

“He told me I had killed her… and our child. For years, I was entombed in remorse and a misery so severe the only thing exceeding my pain was the power it gave me, and I used it as a force for evil. I had given my allegiance to Palpatine. I believed he was the only one who was loyal to me and blamed the Jedi for Padme’s death. I was a fool. I let him manipulate me the same way Snoke used you.”

“But, grandfather, that’s not what you told me before.”

“Before?”

“You’ve visited me before. You came to me and told me you had been a fool to let Luke turn you against your Master. You said I should make our family proud, continue your work, and take over the galaxy,” Ren said, feeling angry and confused. It frustrated him to feel like someone was playing games with his mind. Snoke was gone, so why was he still being made to feel like a foolish boy who needed to be told what to do?

A revelation dawned on Anakin’s face, but he didn’t reveal it to Ben. Instead, as he felt his form fading, he said, “Search your feelings, young Solo. You know the truth; you only need to accept it.” He saw disappointment and frustration on his grandson’s face, and before he was gone, he added, “Truth, grandson. Be your own man. No more manipulation. No more lies.” And he was gone.

“No!” Ben shouted, sick of these ghosts always visiting and disappearing before he was finished with them.

What was that supposed to mean?  _ No more lies. _ It echoed in his head, a haunting whisper he would hear in his dreams.  

Ben returned to his ship, flying low over the sandy mounds of the desert planet to somewhere more isolated, where no scavengers would come to raid his ship in the night. He wasn’t in the mood to take more lives; he didn’t like what it did to him. In his rage he lashed out, but when the storm settled, he remembered vividly what he’d done and the malaise settled into his soul, making it difficult to breathe. The more he killed, the easier it became, and that was more unsettling to him than the deaths themselves. He usually didn’t see their faces - blurs of the Resistance fighters flying past - but there were some whom he’d had to face. Like Lor San Tekka and… his father.

_ Patricide. _ It was the lowest, most disgusting act he’d ever committed. He’d thought he had to. It was the only way to free himself from the perpetual torment that afflicted him and the best way to please his Master. Snoke was the one who’d been with him his whole life, the only being he could count on not to leave him - until Ben gave him no choice.

His heartbeat quickened at the memory.  _ Finally.  _ It had been the perfect moment, one he had hoped for through many years of suffering.

“I cannot be betrayed! I cannot be beaten,” Snoke had said, but Ben would not take Rey’s life.  She was innocent in all of this, like he’d told her. She didn’t have a part in this fight. If Lor San Tekka had not chosen Jakku as his resting place, Rey would still be there, scavenging, struggling, lonely.  

Ben smirked. He liked to think of her in her daily routine, but flinched from the sadness and loneliness that accompanied the memory. He could have saved her from that place and given her everything, but she didn’t want it. She wanted her rebel friends: the pilot and the traitor. 

“I see him turning the saber.” The memory continued.  _ Perfect,  _ Ben had thought, controlling his thoughts and emotions so well, not even Snoke could sense his plan. He turned his own saber on Rey and, to his surprise and satisfaction, his grandfather’s lightsaber obeyed and turned on his command. “And ignites it, to kill his true enemy.” Again, the weapon obeyed, and when he motioned for it to come, Rey was ready.

_ We both had to be ready, _ he thought. Once Snoke’s body split in two, the top half collapsing to the floor with a loud thud, they had to fight the Praetorian Guards who were sworn to defend their Master’s honor.  _ If we didn’t kill them all, Hux would know it was I who killed the Supreme Leader, and then what would I do? Would Hux still recognize me as his superior, or would he call it treason? _

Rey was ready, and she didn’t disappoint; she must have kept up some kind of training routine while she was with Luke. Ben feared she may turn and attack him again, like she’d done so many times before. He looked at her, hoping she would see he was on her side, wondering if she felt the weight of what had happened, what he’d done… for her.  Could she see the depths of his love?

_ But where is she now? _ At some hidden Rebel base with what small number of the Resistance was left after he’d attacked them on Crait? He missed her. He even missed the times when she was angry with him. He would take that anger now, the disappointment on her face, just to look into her eyes again.  

“No more lies.”  

_ But where was the lie? _ he wondered, sitting on his ship that evening. He had climbed onto the shuttle, sitting above the cockpit to eat in view of the darkening sky. It was pink and blue in the distance as two suns set: one white, and the other a burnt orange orb just above the horizon.

His dreams that night were filled with visions of Anakin’s life, and Ren was sure he was being visited by apparitions once more. He saw his uncle Luke, young and determined to save his father. He helped Anakin toward his ship, and the man asked his son to remove his helmet. “Take care of your sister. You were right about me. You were right.”

Then a young woman, eerily kindred to Ben’s mother in demeanor and appearance, pleading with Anakin. “You’re going down a path I cannot follow,” but Anakin was young and insisted he needed his powers to save her.  

Then Darth Vader in the suit everyone saw as a threat, but it was simply what he needed to survive. It was frightening, and even as a boy, Ben had to admit the images he saw of the evil Lord Vader had frightened him. He was angry when he learned Darth Vader was his grandfather, and not only had his parents hidden it from him, but he heard it from someone else. 

When Darth Vader began to visit his mind, he felt accepted. All the dark thoughts and feelings which had plagued him most of his life finally made sense. It was a part of who he was.

But the Vader he’d seen then was not the same man he saw that day: the Anakin Skywalker trying to tell him he never wanted the power, he only wanted to save the woman he loved.

_ Was that the truth? _

Ben’s dream of Anakin and Padme faded, and he was transported to Snoke’s throne room where he and Rey waited, listening to Snoke. “Dark prince. Heir apparent to Lord Vader.”

The throne room faded, and he was rushed through scene after scene of his own life, starting with that last memory and passing in reverse. Time after time, Snoke brought up that he was the heir of Darth Vader, never Anakin Skywalker. He used Ben’s connection to Vader to shape him into a merciless a killer, a fierce leader, and an unstable maniac. The memories whirled faster and faster, Snoke’s face and voice surrounding him like a hurricane he was caught in the middle of. 

Then it all collapsed around him, dropped liked a curtain, and dissolving as it hit the floor.

Ben woke with a start, pulling himself up and breathing heavily in the dark.  

The truth: it wasn’t his grandfather visiting him at all. It was Snoke. It was always Snoke.

Ben sighed heavily, and it felt as though he were expelling a demon that had possessed his soul,  releasing the idea that he was making his grandfather proud by joining Snoke and attempting to rule the galaxy.

“Rey,” he said, wishing he could call her to him. Then he felt her presence, and his heart soared. He looked across the room and saw her. She was piloting the  _ Falcon _ beside Chewbacca. “Rey, I learned something today,” he said aloud. He saw her head twitch to one side, but she didn’t turn to face him. Good. She could hear him. That was all he needed.

“For years I believed Darth Vader, my grandfather, accepted the teachings of the dark side to gain power. I was made to believe he desired power and control over all else. He came to me today, not as Darth Vader, but as Anakin Skywalker, a Padawan of the Jedi. He told me the truth.  He was in love, and he was manipulated into believing he needed power to save the woman he loved, his wife and the mother of his children. Manipulated by a Sith lord who could sense his power and wanted to use it for his own gain. I guess I’m more like him than I knew.”

Chewie called out, and Rey looked up. “Oh, sorry, Chewie. I was distracted,” Rey responded.

Chewie responded, and Ben smirked. He was right; she wasn’t usually distracted.

“No. I’m good,” she said, smiling at Chewbacca. Then…  _ did she just smile at me too? _

Ben’s heart lifted slightly, and he continued. “It was Snoke, Rey. He came to me as Darth Vader, projecting what he needed to manipulate me to join him so he could use my power.”

_ Does that mean….? _

He heard her voice in his head.

_ I don’t know what it means. _ Ben communicated to her telepathically as well. _ I only just woke to the realization. I just wanted… I don’t know… to tell somebody. To tell you. _

_ Oh _ , she thought, the words so clear in his head.

They were silent for a minute, then he asked,  _ How are you? _

Rey smirked. The inquiry was so… minimal. So simple, it didn’t seem to fit their usual discussions.  _ I’m fine. I’ve been hoping to see you. _

That second part was quiet in his head, and he wondered if she hadn’t meant for him to hear it.

Before she could say anything contrary or explanatory he thought clearly,  _ I’ve been wanting to see you too. I’ve been trying to find you _ . He cringed slightly. How strange it was to be sharing their thoughts this way. It was so much easier when the words didn’t need to be spoken, when she was looking away, and he could half pretend she wasn’t listening.

_ Why? So you can kill my friends? The only people in the world who have ever cared about me? _

_ Have you ever considered they are no better than Snoke? That maybe they only want you around to protect them, to use your powers? _

Rey thought and said,  _ To be honest, that may be true for Poe, but definitely not Finn. Finn was my friend before the Force was roused in me. Rose is a good person and cares for me sincerely. Chewie and I have an understanding, but I’m not sure he really likes me. It’s hard to tell with a Wookiee. _

_ He cares, _ Ben assured her.  _ Believe me, you would know if he didn’t. _

Rey smiled, and Ben couldn’t see, but he could sense her pleasure and amusement.

_ What’s your understanding? _ Ben asked without considering the implications.

_ Save Ben Solo, _ Rey thought without hesitation.

It felt like a punch to his gut. Save Ben Solo? They both wanted to save him? Why? He killed Chewie’s oldest, and possibly his only, friend. Chewie shot him as a result, one of the only scars Ben had.  

How was it he could do so many horrible things and these two incredible beings still hoped to save him? Was he worthy of their hope and their love? Had his mother somehow roped Chewie into wanting to save him; a debt owed or a dying wish?

_ You’re his family, _ Rey’s voice in his head explained. He didn’t know she was listening to his musings. Then, before she could fade away, he heard her once more, responding to his other fears. _ He remembers who you truly are. You can be forgiven. You are worthy. _

Then she was gone.

* * *

“Rey!” Maz called out, greeting the girl in the courtyard of her newly rebuilt dwelling.  

“The place looks great,” Rey smiled, looking up at the stone fort then kneeling to accept an embrace from the ancient creature. 

“The vaults still holds all my treasures, and the foundation was strong. After so many years here, I couldn’t imagine settling anywhere else.”

“It’s a lovely spot,” Rey agreed, turning to admire Nymeve Lake and the bordering forest. “Will you have your statue recommissioned?”

Maz shook her head. “It was a gift. One I was grateful for, but the gesture mattered more than that gaudy sculpture.”

Rey smiled and nodded.

Maz narrowed her eyes faintly, took a tiny step back, and reached up to adjust her goggles. “How are you doing, Rey?” Maz asked. She could sense much, but sometimes preferred to hear what others had to say for themselves.

“Good,” Rey said sincerely. 

“And have you found your place in this great machine?”

“I have,” Rey said with even more confidence. “So much has happened since the last time I saw you. I’m not even sure where to begin.”

Maz’s kind smile lit her face. She removed her goggles - placing them atop her head like a unique crown - and looked past Rey toward the  _ Falcon. _ “Go tell  _ my boyfriend _ to join us. He will refuse, but tell him I don’t blame him for happened before, he’s welcome here, and it’s my price for the assistance I plan to give to you.”

“He’s quite stubborn,” Rey responded. She had already tried to talk Chewie into coming with her. The ship was in fine condition, and she knew Maz would want to see him.

“You tell him what I said, and he will come.”

They smiled at each other conspiratorially, and Rey turned away to retrieve her companion while Maz returned to the castle to order their meal.

 

“I knew Finn had it in him. I’m not surprised he tried to run again, but I’m grateful he has found a family to devote himself to,” Maz responded once Rey had caught her up.

Rey smiled gleefully. In fact, this was the most she had smiled all her life. Takodana somehow felt separate from everything. A safe bubble outside of the rest of the world where she could discuss what was happening, but wasn’t required to be a part of it at the same time. 

“That is the best way to describe him: devoted.”

Chewie agreed, and Maz smiled at him playfully, making him tilt his head in a way which seemed to say,  _ I’m warning you, woman: keep your hands to yourself. _

Rey laughed, interrupting their exchange, and Maz faced her to continue their conversation.

“So, you two are out to end the war. You’re going to save Ben Solo, stop the First Order, and bring peace and balance to the galaxy?”

Chewie let out a quiet roar, and Rey nodded. 

“Pretty much,” Rey said confidently. There was no need to explain herself to Maz. The woman knew Rey wasn’t a delusional egoist who believed herself capable of doing it all alone. They needed all the help they could get.

“Then you must do something with those crystals. Come! I’ve got just what you need.”

As Maz led Rey down to the vaults, stress from her previous visit tickled Rey’s nerves. The vision didn’t make sense then, but Rey had learned and experienced a great deal since. The saber she refused had become a necessary tool, but now that it was gone, she needed to start over, and this was the perfect place to do it.

“Here you will find everything you need, and you’re welcome to use whatever you wish. Let the Force guide you. There are objects old and new, gathered from all over the galaxy, some connected to the Force and some not. Oh… and one more thing.”

Maz climbed onto the table she had cleared for Rey to work, spun slowly to scan the room, and focused on a small curio box made of Brylark wood. 

“Ah! There it is. Emmie!” she called to her protocol droid. “Fetch the box there for me.” 

The droid rolled over and lifted the box as Maz climbed down to the floor.  She removed a portrait hung near the vault entrance and unlocked a metal door hidden inside the wall to reveal an indiscriminate collection of keys. She rifled through them until she found one made of the same material as the box and lifted it from the hook to bring it to the table. Emmie placed the box in front of her, then rolled toward the hidden cabinet to lock it up and return the portrait.

Maz inspected the contents of the box until she found a folded up blueprint. “Aha!” she exclaimed happily, pulling it out and locking the box for Emmie to return to the floor. Maz unfolded the paper and slid it in front of Rey. “This is the diagram you can follow to help build your lightsabers. I trust you won’t need assistance with the mechanics.”

“No,” Rey responded, already reviewing how to create the modulation circuit. “No, I won’t need help.” She knew she could figure out how to construct the saber, but wasn’t sure yet how she wanted to design it.

“We’ll leave you to it then,” Maz said.

“Yeah. Okay,” Rey said absently, using the Force to pull her crystals from her pocket and holding them in front of her.

 

Rey wasn’t sure how long she had been down in the dungeon when the commotion began. It didn’t take long to read over the diagram, but something was bridling her creativity and confidence. Rey knew what to do, but she had not actually manufactured anything, except for anxiety and the early stages of a headache. 

“REY!” Maz yelled, hurrying down the stairs as fast as her little legs could carry her.

Rey rushed to the entrance and looked down the hall.

“Rey, is it finished?!”

_ Shit! _ “Not exactly,” she admitted timorously.

“Nevermind. Grab your staff. Quickly! I need your help!” Maz yelled and turned away, returning to the courtyard where Rey found her.

There was some sort of standoff happening; Rey skidded to a halt in the large entryway to see a Togruta female crouched in a defensive stance between several creatures holding blasters, each one pointing right at her.

One of the blasters pelted a powerful dart of plasma energy, and the Togruta deflected it, aiming the shot in the air, far away from anyone involved, or anyone watching from the sidelines.

That was when Rey noticed she was holding two lightsabers, one in each hand, and Rey’s mouth dropped, a light bulb clicking on in her head. She was shocked still until a hard punch was aimed at her thigh, and she looked down to see Maz frowning at her.

“Don’t just stand there and stare. Help her!”

“Me?”

“Yes, you! Emmie went to get Chewie, and you’re the only one who can, or who is kind enough to, help.”

Rey nodded, determination settling in, and she looked at each of the blaster wielding creatures.  _ Five. Okay… focus.  _ Rey closed her eyes and stretched her hand out, focusing on the metal weapons. Then, with a quick jerk, they were pulled from the hands that held them, raised high in the air, and threw them far out into the lake. 

Rey rushed forward then, taking them down one at a time with the help of the one who had just been under attack.

“Good job, ladies. Emmie, Chewie,” Maz said as the droid approached, “take these thugs to their ship. They know as well as anyone, there’s no fighting here.”

“And what about her?” the droid asked, turning to the Togruta. 

“She was being attacked and did her best not to harm anyone. We won’t punish her for defending herself. Welcome, dear. I’m very sorry about those scum; they’re not usually so hostile, but we don’t allow fighting and will absolutely not accept prejudice.”

“Thank you,” she said sincerely.

“I am Maz Kanata, and this is my place. What is your name?” 

“Ahsoka,” she responded, bowing her head politely toward Maz. She wasn’t used to anyone speaking to her as if she were a youngling; this woman must be very old. “Ahsoka Tano, ma’am.”

Maz angled her head in a curious way and walked closer to Ahsoka. “Ahhhsoka Taaanooo,” Maz repeated slowly, deliberately. 

“Do you know her?” Rey asked, fascinated by Ahsoka, anxious to learn about this beautiful creature with her blue and white montrals and head tail, orange skin, facial markings of white pigment, and - most fascinating to Rey - her dual lightsabers.

“I’ve heard of her,” Maz responded, still looking at Ahsoka. “Tell me, what is it that brings you to my fortress?” Maz asked.

“Master Yoda sent me,” she began, noticing a smile on the face of the girl who had helped her take down the gang who, for a reason she was not aware of, had a vendetta against the Togruta of Shili and in their drunken state decided she must be killed. “I’m here to find a girl. He says she needs my guidance. A human girl named Rey.”

A large smile creased Maz’s face, and she looked up at Rey before leading them inside together.

* * *

“Okay, so look at this!” Rey disconnected the lightsaber from her belt and held it out for Finn to take.

“It’s longer than I thought it would be,” Finn said, taking it and gripping the thin handle with two hands. “You have such small hands.”

“That’s because I haven’t told you the best part!” Rey almost squealed with excitement. She’d been keeping this secret from her friends for a few days, but wanted to tell them in person, to show them what she’d found and created. 

Rey took the saber from her friend, who didn’t to want to give it up, and she backed away from Finn, Rose, and Poe. She held the saber in front of her and activated one side, the purple. She watched cheerfully as their eyes widened. They were expecting blue or green, but not purple! And definitely not the next color she would show them. 

Rey gave them a moment to gaze in awe at the brilliant purple light before activating the other side. The red beam extended in an instant and their heads turned to follow it. She chuckled as their chins jolted back and forth.

Finally Poe raised his finger, pointing at the red side with a frown on his face and said, “But… no offense…”

Rey rolled her eyes.  _ When…  _ **_ever_ ** _ did this cavalier, swaggering flyboy care if he said something offensive? Especially to me? _

“...but, don’t only Sith carry red lightsabers?”

“Can we talk about the meaning behind these shades later?” Rey said impatiently. “I still have more to show you.”

“A demonstration, I hope,” Rose said, anticipating Rey’s next move and taking her side.

Rey nodded and stepped even further away, nodding for Ahsoka to join her. “My blade is already on training mode, a setting Ahsoka insisted on, and she has the same mode on her sabers. Are you ready?” Rey asked confidently. 

Ahsoka smiled and lit her sabers, crouching down to prepare for the presentation.

To their surprise, Ahsoka didn’t appear to take it easy on her apprentice. In a flash, she flipped forward, dual sabers spinning through the air and coming down hard toward Rey.

Their blades sliced the air with such speed, the growing number of spectators couldn’t anticipate their moves. The distinct colors of the sabers was the only way to distinguish them, Rey’s violet and crimson standing out against the white of Ahsoka’s.

Rey fought well with the long weapon, similar to the length of her staff. Finn wondered if she had measured it to the same length, but her saber would be much heavier until she connected to the Force flowing through the crystal, creating a bond between weapon and wielder.

Rose watched in awe, her shoulders jerking forward sharply, alternating with each swing of a saber as she aspired to take part in the duel. She was breathing sound effects like “Whah!” and “Whoo!” Then they would surprise her, and she would mouth, “Whoa” or “wow,” inspired.

Poe’s eyes blazed with desire to see these women fight together, facing off against the First Order in the name of the Rebellion. 

After a minute of striking and spinning around each other to display Rey’s use of her double-edged saber, they backed away, catching their breath and eyeing each other in an unusual way, leaving the others to wonder what they had planned.  

Ahsoka raised her brow, lowering her chin, and Rey smirked and nodded discreetly. Ahsoka stood straight, holding her sabers out to her sides and spinning them, approaching Rey and leaving the spectators to wonder how Rey could block from two sides at once. She would have to be uncommonly swift, which, with the use of the Force, she could be, but Ahsoka would have that same power. 

Rey stepped back with one foot, preparing to block as Ahsoka’s white blades struck on both sides. Rey blocked with her own, weaving her saber from side to side, barely fast enough to protect her skin from the reeling beams beside her. 

Suddenly, Rey squatted and flipped backwards through the air to put space enough between herself and Ahsoka to prepare for the next onslaught. She gripped the center of her weapon with two hands and twisted the handle, bending her wrists in opposite directions. It clicked audibly and separated, giving her two separate sabers, as Ahsoka had.

The crowd gasped and some clapped enthusiastically. It wasn’t a difficult feat, or wholly unexpected, but it surprised and delighted some nonetheless.

The warrior women dueled for a few minutes more, showing how two could face off, each with two sabers, then switched off the blades and returned to the others.

“That was fantastic!” Finn said, stepping forward and grabbing Rey’s shoulder as she smiled.

“Wonderful,” Rose added. “Were you always able to fight like that?” she asked Rey.

“No,” Rey chuckled. “Ahsoka has taught me so much, just in the past couple days. Ways of using the Force I didn’t know I could. And the lightsaber training has been… a blast.”

Poe frowned at Rey. “It’s not all fun and games, you know. We’re in a war. I hope you’re taking your training seriously.”

“And would you rather she hate it? Be miserable and only do it because it’s what you expect of her?” Ahsoka asked, staring down her nose at him.

“No. I just want her to be cautious and understand what’s at stake.”

“From what I’ve heard, she’s put her life at stake several times for the Resistance, and she does it because she believes in what is right. It’s okay to be tough on your recruits, General, but you should never forget what they’re sacrificing and question their devotion simply because they find joy and pride in what they do.”

Poe raised his chin proudly. He wouldn’t argue because he knew she was right, but he didn’t care to be spoken down to either. Rey, Finn, and Rose looked sideways at each other, discomforted, though Rey was grateful Ahsoka had defended her.

“I understand, Poe,” Rey said, stepping between them. “I do take it seriously.”

“Thank you,” he said. “And later, you’ll tell us about those crystals?”

“I’ll tell you now,” she frowned, wishing he wouldn’t make such a fuss about it. “It has become clear through my conversations with different people of the old Jedi Order, and through my own experiences, that we Force-users should not aspire to reinstate the old order as it was.  The Jedi of old rejected the dark side completely, but we are to create a new order, The Gray Order. A class of Jedi who will not follow the old traditions and who will walk the line between dark and light, like Ahsoka has done.”

“So, you’ll be a part of the dark side?” Finn asked, concern apparent in his dark eyes.

“Not necessarily,” Ahsoka replied. “The Gray Jedi live in the light, but do not aspire to the restrictions of the Jedi High Council. There are ways of connecting to what are considered dark Force powers without being evil or giving into the darkness. We will deny those who embrace the dark side, but will still call upon the powers of the dark.”

“You need to understand the Jedi Order was very strict. There are powers used by the Sith which the old Order deemed forbidden,” Rey explained, “but they weren’t evil.”  

Ahsoka nodded and said, “For example, telekinesis, self-levitation, healing…”

“Force throw, the ability to hide one’s presence in the Force, and Ionize, which is a technique used to shut down machines.”

“Well, that doesn’t sound all bad,” Rose said cautiously.

“No,” Finn said, doing a double take and looking from Rose to Rey. “No, she’s right,” he said to Poe, who still looked unsure. “I trust that Rey would be able to use these powers and not concede to the dark. She’s had every opportunity in the past couple years and is still with us. Plus, she wasn’t raised by the Jedi, and when she earned her powers, she did what she could to keep herself alive. She may have used these dark side powers without us even knowing, and we never cared before, as long as she did what was right. Why should we judge her position now?”

“So, Master Luke told you this is what you should do?” Poe asked.

“Master Luke and Master Yoda,” Rey responded. All but Ahsoka and Chewbacca looked shocked, and when they looked from Rey, to Chewie, to Ahsoka to gauge their level of sincerity, Chewie roared loudly to confirm it.

“Well, then. I guess you’ve got a lot to tell us.  Let’s go get dinner and, if you’re ready, you can tell us about the caves.”

Rey nodded, eager to share her story, and they made their way to the dining hall.

* * *

“Your father is dead.” 

Eaton Canady could still hear the words in his head as clearly as the day they were spoken. 

“How?” he had gaped, more stricken with perplexity than grief.  He was sad to lose his father, of course, but death was an expected result of war. They weren’t close, and he knew his father would die someday, but he could not wrap his head around the Resistance taking down the  _ Dreadnaught _ his father captained.

Armitage Hux seemed just as surprised and even more distraught than the man who’d just learned he’d lost his father to the destruction. He shrugged, an informal gesture only those closest to him would ever see him perform. “I… I… just… I can’t explain it. They got lucky. In any case, I’m sorry for your loss, Eaton. You are free to leave. I know what you need to do, but we will need you back as soon as possible.”

Commander Eaton Canady had nodded then, saluted his superior, and retreated to his room. He would need to embark on a shuttle home to tell his mother in person and  _ that  _ conversation did not go as he expected. Sure, his mother and father had been separated for years, and she was as aware as Eaton that the war would someday take his father, but she wasn’t aware of the power and enormity of the  _ Fulminatrix. _ Without any shock or dismay to portray, she simply put a hand on her son’s shoulder and apologized. 

“Aren’t you sad at all, mother?” Eaton had asked.

“No, and I’ll tell you why. Your father… he hated the First Order.”

Eaton accidentally spit out a bit of the tea he was drinking, the hot liquid dribbling down his chin as she reached for a napkin to wipe it. “What? Mother! You can’t… what makes you say that?!”

“We were no longer married, Eaton, but we still spoke from time to time. The truth is, he was a faithful servant of the Empire, but to him, the First Order felt like a bunch of children playing at war. He didn’t feel any loyalty to those younglings ordering him around, but he took pride in being a naval officer. That’s just what he was, and he was good at it.”

“So, why not just join the New Republic?” Eaton asked, though the idea was absurd.

“You know he couldn’t join them after serving the Emperor,” she replied curtly, shaking her head at him. “But, to be completely honest, I wouldn’t doubt he felt a hint of relief, facing down the destruction of his ship.”

This confused Eaton even more than the news of the  _ Fulminatrix’s  _ destruction, and it weighed heavy on his mind for longer than he expected. Then, as time passed, he realized his mother’s confession had given him the freedom to self-reflect, to consider his true feelings toward the First Order.

This army wasn’t something he chose. He was brought in by his father and continued to serve because it was a good job; he had a lofty position he didn’t have to earn, and there was great reward without much risk. 

“I’ve been wondering… if I want to continue working for the First Order,” he told his wife one day, checking over his shoulder, though they were safely in their cabin.  He shouldn’t feel afraid of chastening for simply stating he may want a different job or to return home to be near his elderly mother. He wasn’t against the First Order.  He just didn’t feel any love for military life.

His wife Erinah’s reaction was similar to his. She frowned, checking over her shoulder, then grabbed his arm and asked, “How could you say that? We have a good life here! We’re loyal to the First Order! Have you lost your mind?”

“I’m not saying I don’t support the First Order. I just feel like I want to be close to mother, and I don’t know that I want to be a Commander. Maybe I’d like to return planet-side and take over the family business. Maybe we could discuss having a family of our own.”

Erinah’s nose rose in disgust, “You want to take over your mother’s farm?”

Eaton recoiled slightly, discouraged. “You like it here? Living in space on this massive ship? Always cold and never stepping foot on a planet’s soil?” he asked sincerely.

“Yes! We’re well taken care of! I don’t care about living on some random planet. The First Order is good to us. I’m glad they took me from those simple people and made me a part of their army!” 

“Okay. That’s… fine. We’ll stay.”

“Of course we’ll stay,” she said. Erinah removed the black gloves and white hand shields of her stormtrooper armor, dropped them on the kitchen counter, and stepped close to him. She straightened his collar, kissed him on the cheek, and added, “We’re lucky to be part of this grand army. You should be proud of your position.”

“I am. You’re right,” he said, worried about the accusation in her tone.  _ Would she be loyal to me if I chose to leave, or would she report me for treason? It’s not like I want to stand against them. It’s the job I’m unsure I want.  _ “I am grateful.”

“Good!” she said with a smile. She returned the armor to her hands, grabbed her helmet at the door, and walked out without another word.

“I guess I’ll get back to work then,” Eaton said aloud to no one, donning his cap and heading to his office. 


	6. Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you dear @Trish47 for the beta read!

Ben lay sideways on his bed when Rey appeared in his room at the end of the day. He was still as a statue, his thoughts holding sleep beyond reach and obscuring her arrival.

Statuesque was exactly the word she thought of, scanning his body from head to toe as he lay oblivious to her presence. He was clad only in sleeping pants, and she’d never seen him so informally dressed. Rey watched the way his stomach and chest flexed, holding him up on his side - head rested on his bicep, hand hanging over his raven hair. But there was more to see than the obvious mass of his body spread out before her.

Rey also noticed dark circles beneath his eyes from insufficient rest. The brooding way his brown eyes were set, unfocused and mournful. She could practically see the storm brewing above his head and she frowned, stepping forward. She went to him, sat on the edge of his bed, and shocked him so thoroughly he jumped, fell onto his back, then relaxed quickly when he saw her smiling face.

“You surprised me,” he said, laying a hand over his frantically beating heart.

Rey had an urge to do the same and blushed. She turned her head to hide her reddened cheeks, cursing them for betraying her.

Ben reached for her hand and she turned back, surprised. “Don’t hide. Not from me,” he said, sitting up slowly. They never knew when the Force would connect them, had no control over the time they would have, and he had finally decided not to waste a single moment he had with Rey.  Not when it hurt so severely to be without her.

“You say that like we’re close. We hardly know each other,” Rey said casually.

“Hardly?” His jaw dropped and he looked away. “Hardly know....” he repeated in the same tone she had used.

“I mean… I haven’t known you long.”

“And yet, sweetheart… somehow, you know me better than anyone.”

Her eyebrows raised sympathetically. “Ben… that’s so sad,” she said, focusing on what he said rather than how his tone reminded her of his father.

“I don’t think it’s sad.” He leaned closer and she was hesitant to let him, but she liked being close to him. “It doesn’t mean I have no one I’m close to. It’s simply evidence of our connection, and my feelings for you.”

“Your feelings?” she repeated in a whisper.

A smile played at the ends of his lips and she looked down at them, momentarily hypnotized by their fullness, tempted to press her lips to his.  

“I trust you, so I share my feelings with you. You’re good and you know me because you took the time to find out the truth. I’m not quick to let people near me; I’ve been betrayed too many times, but you have earned my trust for being just who you are.”

This triggered Rey’s ambition to convince this man of the light she felt within him. It didn’t matter how many times she had said it before, she would keep reminding him of his goodness and her desire to help him until she succeeded, or they ceased to exist. “There is good in you as well. Ben, you…”

He pressed a finger to her lips to quiet her, a slow shushing sound escaping from his, hypnotizing her once again.

Rey shook the temptation and frowned angrily, looking away from his lips to his eyes. “Don’t you dare…!”

“Rey, please,” he begged. “I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but I’m not in the mood for your heroism. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but you’re not saving my soul tonight.” He laid back again, his dark hair contrasting clearly against the white pillow, one hand over his head and one on his belly.  

She turned to face the wall, her back to him, inhaling deeply through her nose and releasing it slowly as she relaxed her body. Maybe he had a point. Why not leave it all behind, just for tonight? He was in a rare mood and she was curious where it would lead them.

Her feelings were stronger than she cared to let on. Rose may have guessed, but there had been no time since to discuss it further. She still had not told her of their bond and how wholly, and intimately, connected they could be.

The memory of their fight in the throne room flashed in her mind and she stiffened. It was strange how little fear she had felt, though they were vastly outnumbered by an elite guard.  Somehow, with Ben by her side, she knew they would be alright. They worked as one, linked in body and mind, united toward a singular goal - both had to survive. The intimacy they shared  was uncommon, exceptional. So, why were they not together?

“Rey,” he said quietly, sitting up again. She had been quiet for so long, playing with a strand of her own hair between her fingers. He put his hand on her shoulder and she looked down at it, watching how his fingers moved softly against her bare skin.

“Was it all a dream?” she asked, looking up into his dark eyes. He was so lovely like this; calm and kind.

His brow furrowed slightly, an indication that she should explain herself.

“Snoke telling you to kill me? You killing him instead, saving my life. Fighting back to back?  You launching me forward from your back without me asking or signaling in anyway? I remember it so clearly, but it couldn’t have been real,” she said, her voice thick with pain. “How could it have been if we’re not together now? If we’re trapped on opposite sides of a war?”

Something burned in his eyes and he removed his fingers from her shoulder, lifted her hand, and held it in his own. “I remember Snoke lying. I remember the look in your eyes when you said my name,” Ben reach up to stroke her cheek with his thumb and Rey conceded to the touch, allowing her head to rest in his hand and closing her eyes. “You were pleading for me to spare your life, but I had already made the decision. You raised your hand just in time to grab the saber then turned to fight with me.”

“It was…” her lids opened to search his eyes and the affection within took her breath away.

“It was everything,” he whispered, raising his other hand to her face. “Together, you and I, could be perfect.”  

Their lips connected then, and it wasn’t clear who made the first move. Rey turned her body to face him, wrapped her arms around his neck, and tangled her fingers in the dark waves of his hair. He pulled back, looking deeply into her eyes as he recalled what she had said before. “Hardly?” he said with a roll of his eyes, and they smiled together before leaning in once more.

 

“I can’t believe you’re still here. It seems the Force usually separates us before we ever actually resolve anything,” Ben said, several minutes later.

“Then maybe we haven’t,” Rey said, closing her eyes, and kissing him once more.

Ben allowed it for a time then asked, “And you think this is the reason we’re connected?”

“Well, you won’t listen to what I have to say, so… what better way to pass the time?”

“How about you tell me more about you.”

“Haven’t you learned enough?” Rey asked bitterly, raising one brow suggestively.

Ben focused intently into her eyes for a moment, the shame filling his mind, giving him a sick feeling he had forgotten he was capable of - guilt. It became too much and he withdrew from her, letting go of her hand and pushing away to return to where he lay on his back.

Rey watched him retreat and raised her brows sympathetically. She had no doubt she hated the memory more than he did - both of them wished it wasn’t a part of their past, but she knew it couldn’t be changed and little by little, he was ascending from the darkness to join the light.

She turned to face him, crawled to sit cross legged beside his head, and ran her fingers through his hair, the ends of her nails faintly scraping the skin. “We both bare scars, Ben. Our memories are marred by confrontation and pain, but we don’t have to dwell on it. We did what was necessary to realize our intentions in whatever place and time… but things have changed. Do you intend to hurt me again?”

He looked up at her incredulously. He hoped it was a rhetorical question because the answer should be clear. If anyone should be worried about the other attacking....

“And I have no desire to harm you.”

“But you will... if you have to,” he said, staring at the ceiling to avoid her gaze.

“You know, I’ve recently learned an important lesson and… I’m sorry, I know I always go to this defensive place and feel I need to fight to protect myself, but… as long as you don’t give me reason, I have no intention of ever scarring you again.”

He peeked at her without turning his head, looked away and peeked again curiously. He was trying not to outright smile. _What was this lesson she had learned and if I ask, will she tell me?_ “What was it?” Ben asked with a small lift of his chin. “The lesson you learned?”

This time it was Rey who averted her eyes. She pulled her hand away, laced her fingers together and bent them toward her body, popping the knuckles nervously. _I can’t tell him that, can I? Do I want to? Yes,_ she thought, honestly, _but should I?_

Rey had never told anyone she loved them before - not that she could remember. It was implied in the looks and affection she gave to her friends, but the word was never spoken aloud. This is why it shocked her so when she learned Rose and Finn often exchanged the sentiment between them. Rose had clear memories of love and affection, but Rey wondered how Finn managed to love so easily. There must be something buried deep from when he was a child, before he was taken.  

But that wasn’t the only dilemma delaying her confession. Even sitting here with Ben, having kissed and touched and expressed a unique connection, she didn’t feel certain the feeling was mutual. This wasn’t the first time someone had tried to kiss her, Ben was simply the first to succeed.

_Or did I kiss him?_ Rey shrugged, still unsure. What she knew for sure was that a kiss wasn’t proof of love.

_Love. How could this happen?_

After the caves, as hands on the chrono revolved repeatedly, nights passing by in solitude with only her thoughts to accompany her, Rey’s ruminations lingered on one idea: Rey truly loved Ben Solo. She loved him in a way she couldn’t describe. It was more than the love she felt for Finn and the others. It was consuming and terrifying. Almost as terrifying as the thought of learning the feeling was unrequited. Allowing him to see that by laying her weapon aside in the caves and refusing to fight, she was confessing her love for him, was a risk she considered to be greater than most she had ever faced.

_And that is why you must tell him,_ she thought, still wringing her hands nervously. The vision had show it was her compassion that would save him. _How can it help if I don’t actually tell him? I can’t do this for myself, hoping to earn his love in return. I have to show him so he knows he is loved. It has to be a selfless confession._

Ben bent his arm, reached to pull Rey’s hands apart, and rested them over her crossed ankles. Rey absentmindedly played with his hand, pondering the opinion of women being delicate and men tough. She caressed his palm and the pampered skin, often protected by thick gloves, felt soft beneath her rough and calloused fingers.

“It’s silly, to be honest. Not what I learned, but the fact it took me so long to figure out what I should have known all along.” Rey was blushing and he was intrigued.

Ben sat up, crossed his legs opposite her and waited patiently, but Rey only clasped her hands together. “Don’t make yourself anxious,” he said, reaching out once more to save her hands from themselves.

“I want to tell you… all of it. It’s just… difficult to say.”

“Then don’t say it,” Ben suggested tilting his head to draw her attention away from her lap onto him. He had to do things right. She was willing to forgive him of his crimes and Ben needed to prove himself worthy of that, worthy of her. If she didn’t feel comfortable sharing her thoughts and memories, he wouldn’t require it - no matter how curious he was.

But Rey truly wanted to share. She nodded, opening her mind to him, and thought back to one of the times Rose told the story of her collision with Finn, fixating on the words the mechanic used to inspire him. Rey then bowed her head, her eyes closed to avoid his piercing gaze, and recalled the conversation she had with Rose before Ilum. She could almost hear Ben’s musings as she revealed Rose’s question of Rey’s love for him, but she ignored it and continued on her trip to Ilum.

Just as his veiled figure dominated the dark space before her, Rey’s head lifted, cutting off the scene from both their minds.

“Ben. It may be difficult to see and… well, I don’t want to upset you.”

Ben frowned thoughtfully, pursing his lips. He began to nod and said, “I’m okay. I’m ready to see what you faced.”

“It’s not just that. This… what I saw and discovered, it could change things.”

He smirked, darkly. “Isn’t that exactly what you want?”

Rey returned the expression. “Absolutely, but I’ve learned not to expect exactly what I think I’ve seen and what I wish for, but that doesn’t mean it…” she inhaled deeply and before she could change her mind she confessed, “That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt when things don’t work out.”

Ben softened his expression and reached for her hands. “Then I’ll do my best not to disappoint you, but let me remind you… if you have secrets you hold dear, I respect your wish to keep them.”

“No. I’m showing you. Just… be kind, okay?” What a strange request for the man who’s monstrous form once haunted her. “If you don’t… understand, or feel the same, it’s fine.  I just want you to know what I discovered.”

Ben didn’t say anything. He simply nodded, never breaking eye contact, and squeezed her hands gently.

“Okay,” Rey said. She matched the strength of his grip to balance their hold on each other, closed her eyes, and brought the vision back.

Ben tensed as the cave’s clone of him attacked repeatedly and Rey fought to defend herself. Then, to her relief, he was even more anxious to see her throw her weapon aside and approach him unarmed. His own relief when the mask dissipated to reveal his face to her reaching hand was palpable and she was tempted to cut off the vision again. She even felt him begin to loosen his grip, thinking it was over, but she held on and let the memory play out until she was leaving the cave with two crystals in her possession.

He gazed at her quizzically for some time following, and neither of them spoke.

“You have two crystals,” he finally said, making her laugh.

“Of all the things to say,” she smiled, grateful he had gone with that.

“Rey,” he began, bringing her hands together. He looked down as he closed her hands between his, hiding them from view, then looked up into her eyes. “Thank you. I don’t know that I deserve… anything of the things you feel for me. The forgiveness, desire to save me, or… love, in whatever measure it is you feel it for me, I’m grateful for all of it.” He looked down nervously and traced a finger over the veins on the back on her right hand, touching three successive freckles on the muscle between her thumb and forefinger.

“I think it’s time we be clear with each other,” Rey began, her voice soft, but stern, “because I don’t know that I can take the doubt and pain that comes with not knowing.”

“Yeah?” he asked, surprised by her assertion.

She nodded plainly, though her expression seemed unsure.

“Then, I’ll start, since you’ve already shared so openly,” he said.  

Rey looked up, waiting curiously, silently, and Ben began to regret his offer.

“I do care for you Rey, but… just as I don’t understand to what measure you care for me, it’s difficult for me to fathom my precise feelings for you. I can only hope you’ll see it through past and future actions, despite the fact that I’m still unsure about leaving the First Order.”

It wasn’t what Rey expected, or hoped for, but she anticipated not receiving what she expected, so how could she feel disappointed? She thought about what he was saying and realized she appreciated his honesty.

Ben did feel disappointed. _What is wrong with you? Why can’t you just tell her you love her? That the love you feel for her has consumed your soul and if anything were ever to happen to her, you would die?!_

“Thank you,” Rey smiled and she didn’t want to talk anymore. “I care for you too. Do you feel it?”

And Ben knew she wasn’t talking about the love they felt. Their connection was beginning to wane and before she could leave him once again he leaned forward, placing his fists on either side of her, and kissed her devotedly, their lips seeming to express all the words they refused to say.

 

* * *

 

“Hi,” Rey said, blushing.

“Hi,” Ben responded, peering at her unwaveringly.  

Silence drifted thick as smoke between them and the blush in Rey’s cheeks grew as quickly as the brazen smirk on Ben’s face.

“It hasn’t been long since… the last time we… anyway… I’m surprised to see you again,” she said, retaining visuals of the intimacy of their last connection and hoping he couldn’t see it in her mind.

“No, it hasn’t,” he responded simply. Ben strode patiently forward, the considerable boots clunking loudly against the polished steel floor, carrying him within inches of Rey until he had to look down to meet her gaze.

“Lord Ren, we’ve reached the planet’s atmosphere. Will you be ready to go soon?”

He didn’t move, wouldn’t give his Knight any inclination he was connected to Rey; that she stood directly in front of him.

“Go ahead without me Anaya. Liss can take the lead and I’ll follow a few minutes behind.”

Anaya nodded and turned away.

_Obviously I can’t talk right now,_ he thought, granting her access to his mind.

“I see that,” Rey responded. “Still collecting Force-users?”

_Yes. Would you like to come? Maybe try and stop me?_

Rey could see he was trying not to smile, and though his lips resisted he couldn’t hide the humor in his eyes. Rey’s heart lifted at the sight, but she averted her eyes to hide the joy at seeing him happy.

He knelt down to adjust a strap on his boot and she was tempted to reach out to him. Her hand flinched, eager to run her fingers through his hair, but the ruffling may appear unnatural if one of his Knights were to walk in, and she pulled back.

“I would, but… Can’t. Sorry. I’m busy,” she said blithely, not exactly sure how to properly respond to his teasing.

_Oh, you’re not busy. Just standing around smiling at me._

Rey gasped, feigning affront and he stood slowly, his face passing so near to her own the tip of his nose grazed her cheek.

“Aren’t you afraid I’ll take another one right out from under you?” She twisted, letting her elbow knock into him, and watched as one dark eyebrow flicked upward.

_I really would like to see you try,_ he said, daring her to challenge him, even if only so he could see her again.

“How many have you taken to your temple?” Rey wondered, emulous in her inquiry.

_I’ve been doing this for years, Rey. You don’t actually think you can compete?_

“You’re right. You must have so many more… for now. Maybe you can give me something to live up to.” Rey walked passed him to stand in another part of the room so he wasn’t just staring at one point below his eye level.

_A little to my left._ He requested, deducing the reason for her movement. _A little more. There. Thank you. Now it looks like I’m staring out the viewport instead of at the floor or wall._

“You’re welcome. So?”

_Two hundred two,_ he said casually.  

Rey’s jaw dropped and she closed it quickly. Ben pretended not to notice.

_We’ve got nine to find in only one town today. You interested in raising your number?_

“Ha! Careful. You’re starting to sound desperate.”

_Maybe I am,_ he replied, regarding her expectantly.

Rey smiled despite herself, rolled her eyes, and turned toward the viewport she couldn’t see. She could feel him approach and wondered if he would abandon his pretense and hold her hand, but he only stood beside her, his sleeve resting against the wraps on her forearms.

“You can take them,” she finally said. Rey was unaware that his shuttle had landed, but she could tell he was almost ready to depart whether or not their connection continued. “I know they’re safe with you, so it doesn’t really matter who retrieves them.”

_Thank you for trusting me._ He expressed his gratitude with such sincerity, it took up more space in her mind than the previous thoughts. _What are doing today?_

“I’ve just been training with my new saber and new instructor. Oh, and today I get…” she was excited to share her plans, but he had gone and her heart sank momentarily, then soared. It may have been short, but it was wonderful.

“It was… amazing,” Rey sighed, talking to Rose that evening. The two of them edged through the ravine, snaking their way around fallen rocks, and listening for those Rey may need to stop from crushing them. They were heading for the town of Katera to retrieve new recruits for the Rebellion - already vetted by the Force-sensitive Dominique - and Rey was telling Rose about her first kiss.

Rose smiled. “I know. Well, I actually…” she blushed.  “I kissed another boy before Finn, but only one. And it was nothing compared to kissing Finn.”

“I bet not! His lips are… impressive.”

“Beautiful,” Rose said at the same time.

They laughed giddily together and Rey shook her head.

“Plus, I love Finn and that can make a difference. Anyway, so you kissed. Then what?”

Rey sighed and recounted every part of the conversation she could remember, up until the connection ceased and at the end Rose was shaking her head, disappointed.

“I know! I meant to be completely honest, but after what he said… I felt what I confessed already was enough,” Rey explained.

Rose stopped walking and stared at Rey. “It’s not just you. From the way you describe how he is with you, I have a hard time believing he doesn’t feel exactly the same. And unless you’re both honest, you’re going to continue to doubt it. You’re both so deprived of love, you won’t assume someone will love you, or recognize the obvious signs,” Rose added as Rey began shaking her head to deny it.

“No, but it’s fine. He doesn’t love me, but at least he’s made a real effort to be kind. I could tell he was completely honest.”

“He was completely afraid,” Rose countered. “He probably has good reason for it, but I really don’t believe for a minute that he doesn’t love you.”

“Well… maybe you’re just saying that because you care about me, and you’re hoping the person I love will love me back.”

Rose shrugged and continued forward. “Then you saw him this morning?”

“Yep! He was standing so close I could feel his breath on my head. One of his Knights walked in and I could hear her voice as she was speaking, but through his mind. It was so odd. He responded and she left, and it didn’t last long after that,” Rey said.

Rose waited and when Rey didn’t say more she asked, “Do I have to drag it all out of you every time?”

“You want to know every part of the conversation?”

“I want to know everything you’re willing to share,” Rose confirmed.

“Okay!” Rey said happily. “So, when he first showed up…” She told Rose how nervous she had been because of how they had kissed before, and she was trying not to leap at him and recreate it. “And I think he was flirting with me. He said they were going to talk to some Force-users, then practically dared me to try and stop him. It was actually… cute, watching him try not to smile; if you can imagine that.”

“I can’t, but it does sound like he was flirting,” Rose said. “Goodness, I missed the early days when it’s all new and nothing is for sure.”

“You do?! I feel like I’m being tortured!”

Rose giggled. “It is torture… but it’s exquisite.”

“Exquisitely painful. I don’t understand it. My heart actually, physically aches, at the thought of him not loving me. I try to be strong about it, but… caring for someone else is hard,” she moaned.

Rose giggled again, covering her mouth. “You’re one of the most selfless people I know. I don’t think it’s as difficult as you think. We’re all really fortunate you care so much, considering you only ever had to take care of yourself.”

“Well, when you’ve been alone for so long, then you find people - _good people_ \- who care, you don’t take that for granted.”

“I agree,” Rose said, patting her on the back.

“But loving someone who cares so deeply, but doesn’t feel the same…” Rey frowned pitifully.

“Awe. Poor baby. Can’t see the truth that’s right in front of her face,” Rose feigned sympathy, refusing to accept her friend did not have the love of the man who had killed his own master to save her.

Rey tried to give her a dirty look, failed miserably, and they both giggled quietly, hoping not to disturb the loose rocks above their heads. As they laughed they were able to forget everything else and for a few minutes, Rey reflected on the joy of having a close female friend, as Rose dealt with the bittersweet reminder of how it felt to have a sister.

 

It happened again only a few days later. This time Ben was standing in a starship: Rey could tell from the light surrounding him, the formality of his posture, and the fact that he ignored her when it first began.

_It’s good to see you, but I can’t talk right now,_ Ben’s voice eventually rang out in Rey’s mind.

_Tell the Force! I didn’t plan this,_ she responded shortly.

His eyes shifted and he could see her sitting in an austere wooden chair. She was actively cutting him off from the conversations happening on her end, but instead of blocking his discussion, he let her in.

“... to take a different squadron with you on your next excursion. I know you think you’re safe, but my sources tell me the Rebellion is sending the girl out to find you and she is resolved to kill you.”

_Kill me or kiss me?_ Ben wondered openly.

Rey choked on nothing, and coughed loudly as everyone in the Rebellion meeting stopped to stare at her.

Ben pursed his lips, frowning to avoid a smile.

“Sorry. I’m fine. Carry on,” Rey said to the others in the room.

“I’m really not afraid of her,” Ben responded indifferently, shifting his gaze again to peek at her sideways.

Rey raised her eyebrows. _Is that so? Well…_

“Nevertheless, I was hoping you could perform the same favor as before, with a different squadron,” Hux said impatiently.

_Is he far away or just… tall? You’re not looking down,_ Rey wondered.

_He’s tall._

_But probably not as…?_ Rey cut off the unfiltered visions of Ben’s broad physique seeping through her brain and focused on what Hux had said. _A favor for Grand Marshal Hux. He’s still waiting for you to respond._

“Fine. Anything else?” Ben asked Hux impatiently. _And no. He’s not._ Ben thought, assuming the end of Rey’s inquiry.

“No Supreme Leader.”

“Fine. Go now. Have the leader of your squadron contact me when they’re ready to depart.”

Hux nodded and left the throne room.

_Anyone else! I would rather deal with anyone else in the entire galaxy than that sniveling, imperious, snake!_ Ben thought.

_You could join us,_ Rey suggested. She opened her thoughts to him and Poe was speaking.

“We must continue to put the stories out there. Talk about the sabers, the flying, the training… anything. Rey is our symbol of hope and her stories inspire people to join us.”

Rey cut him off and Ben had to try not to laugh.

_Wow… That’s…_

_I know,_ Rey said shortly.

He could sense her annoyance and said, _But he isn’t wrong. You do inspire people._

Rey blushed and hoped nobody would notice. _It’s embarrassing._

_Don’t be embarrassed,_ Ben said. _You are hope embodied. The manifestation of mercy. Perfection personified. They should put your face on their flags._

_Stop!_ Rey tried not to laugh. She rubbed her eyes, lowering her face to take cover beneath her hands.

_If we were together, I’d put your face on my flag._

_And what would your Knights think about that?!_ she asked, remembering how they had felt about her when they met. At this, she could compose herself and raised her head so the other’s didn’t suspect anything.

_You don’t think they would approve?”_ he asked, playfully.

_No. I’ve met them, if you remember, and they felt and said some terrible things about me._

“And what if I don’t care what they think?” he said aloud, his tone ardent

Rey rolled her eyes discreetly and he smiled.

_You meet me next time we go to find a Force-user, and I’ll kiss you in front of everyone!_

_Ben, stop._

_I’m the Supreme Leader. I’ll do whatever I want!_

_You’re such a liar._

He chuckled and looked away as Rey was still trying to pretend the entire conversations wasn’t happening.

“So, who’s the pilot I’ve sensed you hoping to fly with?” Ben asked.

_Are you jealous?_ She inquired, sensing it in his tone and wondering when he’d sensed her desire to fly with Poe. She glanced at Poe and it crumbled the barrier she’d created to keep him from hearing Poe discuss Rey as their “Ray of hope.” _So embarrassing._

_Poe Dameron?!_ His voice rang loudly, echoing in her mind as she frowned.

He knew Poe? _You know…?”_

“We’ve met. He’s such an arrogant ass.”

_Oh that’s rich, coming from…_ Rey stopped herself from finishing the thought and the tip of Ben’s lip lifted slightly on one side. _He was close with your mom._

Ben nodded. “And he’s still considered the best, I gather?”

_He is._ Rey said with a smile, anticipating Ben’s spiteful reaction.

“Well, maybe in your Rebellion, but…”

A request came through, to speak with “Supreme Leader Ren,” and he stopped to connect via holocron with a stormtrooper general.

“Supreme Leader, the squadron is ready when you are.” A voice came through and they knew their fun had ended.

_Where are you off to now?_ Rey wondered.

“I’m sorry. I can’t tell you.”

_Don’t be sorry._ She frowned. _I understand._

“Have you ever been to the forest moon of Endor?” he asked, offhandedly.

Rey was suddenly seized with panic. The weight of every world seemed to be pressing on her chest and she tried to remain passive, but could not disguise the short breaths she fought hard to inhale and release.

“Excuse me!” she said to the others, and she rushed from the room, followed only by Ben.

“Rey, no! Rey! I’m not going. Goodness, calm down. You’re giving away everything!” He instructed, trying to ignore the stream of information she was providing unintentionally. “I’m not going to Endor. I promise.”

Rey’s heaving breaths slowed and eased when she realized his question had nothing to do with the Force-sensitive people she had hidden away from the First Order. _Damn. Ahsoka would be so disappointed. She’s been trying to teach me to control my emotions._

“Ahsoka Tano?” Ben asked, shocked.

_I’ve just giving away everything today._ Rey conceded, disappointed.

“Is that who’s training you now?” he wondered aloud. “Well, I guess it makes sense, with dual sabers, and your disinterest in strictly following the teachings of the light side.”

Rey dropped her chin, affirming is inquiry.

“Wow. I didn’t even know she was still alive. Did you know she was Anakin’s Padawan? She was amazing. She…” he stopped when he felt her anxiety growing.

“Rey, I promise you, I am not going to Endor. I won’t tell anyone what you just revealed to me, and I’ll do my best to keep anyone from going. You know I don’t want to hurt them.”

_I know._

“I was just curious because I heard it’s pretty and I’ve never been.”

_It’s one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen,_ she thought openly.

Ben smiled. “Maybe we can go together someday.”

“I don’t know, Ben,” she said sadly, feeling the weakening of their connection. Anxiety still lingered in the corners of her body, not directly affecting the nerves, but unsettling her anyway.

“Someday,” he said aloud, wondering if the connection endured long enough for her to hear him.

 

* * *

 

For months they were connected this way; speaking plainly when they were alone and communicating secretly in their telepathic way if others were ner.  

The only person who knew, besides Rey and Ben, was Rose. Sometimes Rose noticed without Rey bringing it up and she worried.

“Be careful with that smile,” Rose would mutter, strolling past in her green jumpsuit, trying to be discreet.

“The mechanic is right.”

_Her name is Rose Tico!_ Rey reminded him. She was walking from the mountain to the training pit where she would meet with Ahsoka. Although Rey walked alone, there were others nearby who would see if she was speaking aloud, apparently to herself. So, she kept her comments inward while Ben, sitting alone somewhere far off, could speak aloud.

“Okay, then. _Rose_ is right. You need to be careful.”

_Why? I’m pretty sure there isn’t anything they’ll do, except try and make me use our connection to find you. And I can’t, so…_

“Rey, if they could use this connection to get to me, to kill me, there’s nothing they won’t do.  I’m not sure you comprehend the scope of their hatred for me.”

_I’ve been arguing with them in defense of you for two years. I know._

“You’ve been defending me… to them?” he asked, bewildered.

Rey nodded. _Of course I have. You saved my life._

“Which brings us back. You care about their safety, right?”

_Of course,_ she said slowly. _How is their safety in question here? I thought we were talking about you._

“Because, if they harm you… just to get to me, I will hunt them down, traverse the entire galaxy, and raid every village, until each and every person involved is discovered and slain by way of my blade. I don’t care what you say.”

Rey recoiled from the fury filling her body, branching out from his and reaching through their connection. It was awful and she began to wonder if Rose may be right about his feelings for her. This was matched only by her concern for the darkness still so powerfully predominant within him.

_I shouldn’t encourage your murderous rage, but… thank you. Now, calm down!  If you hurt them, I’ll be forced to take you down,_ she said, hoping to lighten the mood.

“Is that a promise?” he smirked, never breaking their gaze when he said things he knew would make her blush. His gaze only enhanced her reaction.

_Ben Solo!_ she reprimanded.

“Rey…! What’s your last name?”

_Jonson._

“Oh, okay. That feels familiar, somehow.

_Because you’re a scavenger,_ Rey said.

“You mean like… an information scavenger?” he smirked. “We have so much in common,” Ben teased.

_Please. I would never do_ **_that_ ** _to someone._

“No. You would just shoot at them,” he responded bitterly.

_I don’t want to talk about the past!_ Rey thought angrily, a scowl pulling her features toward the center of her face.

“Oh, really? You’re the one who brought it up!” he spat back.

_No! You…!_ She began, but someone looked at her strangely and she stopped. She forced a mask of calm over her face and refused to speak to him again - though she felt guilty for fighting as soon as he was gone, and wished he would return.

 

After days of considering his intentions, how damaged he was yet still managed to care deeply for her well being, her heart was entirely softened toward him. Rey sat in her room removing her boots when she felt the connection pop into existence. He was sleeping and the calm established over his lovely features made her stomach turn nervously. She stood and crept forward, stopping to stand over him and smiling bittersweetly in her tortured reverie.

 

If only he could stay safely within his dream, unburdened by the troubles threatening to destroy them. She wasn’t sure how long she stood there, her heart slowly breaking as she pleaded with the universe. The slew of silent pledges she made could rival the stars, offering anything to any entity, simply for the promise that one day he would be free; he would wake from sleep and not be this broken, mess of a man.

 

Rey began to cry and prayed aloud, “ _Please_ just let him survive to wake one day happy and balanced, his heart mended from all the pain he’s had to endure. If we can free the galaxy from the First Order, please just give him that.”

“Rey?” his voice was low and sleepy. He had woken only just enough to realize she was there and to say her name.

“I’m here,” she sniffed, sitting beside him on the bed. Go back to sleep.” She ran her hand over his head, brushing the hair back gently and he returned to his peaceful place once more.

 

Their next connection developed a few nights later and they each apologized immediately for losing their tempers with each other, but he didn’t mention seeing her that night. They lay close, listening to the rain fall outside Ben’s shuttle on some mysterious planet, and feeling grateful, but cautious. They tried to keep the conversation light, discussing pleasant memories from their childhoods until they feel asleep.

 

“Then… we flew miles apart, came ‘round to face each other, and flew right at each other,” Rey said excitedly.

Ben was sitting on his bed, though it appeared as if he was on her bed, and she stood before him, regaling him with the story of her flight in an X-wing that day.

When she appeared to him this night he had been sleeping, but pushed himself to sit, opposing the weight of his eyelids and weariness in his mind to spend time with her. He didn’t tell her he had been dreaming when she arrived. How he was haunted by people he had killed, Snoke’s cruel voice reminding him he’s a murderer undeserving of love, and showing Rey happily paired with a faceless hero of the Rebellion. He tried to ignore the pain in his heart, because her joy was all he wished to experience.

Ben looked concerned as Rey smiled. She put her hands in the air, fingers facing, and recreated the maneuver with her hands.

“So, I’m flying directly at him and we had planned this, practiced for weeks, and I’m obviously okay, so wipe that worried look off your face!”

“You need to be careful,” he said, trying to reject murderous impulses toward whoever allowed, and took part in this activity, putting Rey in unnecessary danger. _Who did she say she planned this with?_ He had still been half asleep when she started her story and he couldn’t remember where it all began. _Probably Dameron!_

“You need to trust me!”

Ben smiled and nodded. “You’re right. I know you’re capable. Go on.”

“Okay, so he’s saying, ‘I hope you’re ready,’ through the com, and my heart is pounding, I’m so excited.” She placed her hands at shoulder height once more, the space shrinking between her fingers, “And just as the noses are about to touch, we each rotated to our right, the wings closed, and the bellies of our ships passed within a foot of each other! She turned her hands, palms facing to pass by without touching. “It was… incredible!”

Rey plopped down on the bed beside him, bouncing gleefully, then rested her head on his shoulder. “We flew by a few more times, did a couple formations with other pilots, and… well, I can’t tell you everything, but it was a fantastic day.”

Rey was beaming and despite his concern for her, and the weight of his own worries, Ben chuckled happily.

“It’s wonderful to see you so happy,” he smiled.

“I always wanted to fly an X-wing.”

“Me too,” he said, the swell in his lips drawing her to him.

Rey pulled his chin and kissed him, but after a few moments, he pulled away.

Rey frowned at him curiously for a moment, then said, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“You’re clearly going through something, and I was just... so excited I…”

“No. Rey,” he said, grabbing her shoulders, “I loved your story. I wouldn’t have you silent and solemn just because of my foul mood. I’m sorry I can’t express more joy for you, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to hear it. I like to see you happy.”

“Of course. That makes sense. Why save my life, then expect me to be miserable? What would be the point?”

“The point was for you to join me,” he said thoughtlessly. He was trying to make a joke, but his tired mind couldn’t anticipate the full meaning of his comment. He regretted it immediately.

“So, you only saved me to join you? It wasn’t actually about my life?” she asked.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Are you sure? You should really consider that, because I don’t see you joining me here… no matter how miserable you are there. Don’t think I don’t see it.”

“Rey, if you were here, I wouldn’t be miserable. It’s not about the war. It was about us, being together.”

“Then join us!”

“I can’t! Why don’t you join us?”

“Because you’re evil criminals! Well, not you, but… they are!”

“Oh, don’t kid yourself, sweetheart. I’m just as bad as the rest of them.”

“No, you’re not!” Rey said, tears of frustration filling her eyes.

“And what makes you think that? Rey, I’m their leader. I may not be out killing younglings as we speak, but I’ve done so many terrible things. You have no idea, and you’d be sick if you could see what I’ve done.”

He was recalling the dream now; the faces of those he’d slain. The voice of the man beside Rey telling him he didn’t belong with her and the Rebellion would never accept him. Snoke’s hoarse laughter, mocking him - slaughtering any hope he held on to that he may one day join her.

“But you’re not still doing those things Ben.”

“And how do you know?!” he snarled.

“I can feel it. I don’t know what’s haunting you now or why, though the light continues to grow within you, you continue only to see the worst in yourself, but don’t let it bring you down because it’s a lie.”

“It’s not a lie,” he hissed, tears streaming down his face.

Rey smiled sadly, wishing she could convey what he meant to her. Wondering if she should confess the capacity of her love. She reached for his hand, pressing her fingertips to his. She focused, locked in his gaze, and hoped the joy and affection she was feeling would somehow be passed through to Ben as they faded from each other’s sphere.

 

* * *

 

There was a knock on the door to his personal chamber, and Kylo Ren looked at the security screen to see one of Hux’s officers standing outside.  

With a wave of his fingers the door opened and he called for the man to come into the room.

“What do you want?” he asked, impatiently.  

“Supreme Leader, General Hux would like to see you in his office.”

Ren clenched his teeth and when the man saw the muscles in his jaw react he took a step back. Then something happened the other man could not sense. A feeling came over Kylo Ren, an invisible pull on his consciousness. He turned to his right, looked down at the floor, and the officer followed his gaze, saw nothing, and looked back at Ren confused.

“Get out. I’ll go to him when I’m ready,” Ren commanded hastily.

“Yes, m’lord. I’ll let him know.”

Ren closed the door promptly, once the man was out, and turned to Rey. He walked toward her, cautiously, never knowing how she would respond to him, but she was alone, kneeling in the dirt, unarmed… and crying. Ben was baffled and the concern he felt for his own well being fell away.

“Hey,” he said, kneeling beside her. “What’s wrong?”

“No. Don’t!” she responded, burying her chin deeper into her chest and shaking her head only enough so her face wasn’t clear to him.  

“Rey,” he whispered, the deepness in his voice creating an echo which seemed to cradle her. She couldn’t tell if it was use of the Force which compelled her to respond or the effect his rare tenderness had on her heart.

Rey sniffed, wiped her face on the sleeve opposite where he knelt, then turned to him, pursing her lips and trying to repress the sobs.  

He nodded thoughtfully. “What happened?

“You,” she said. He detected a hint of anger, but sadness as well. How many times would he disappoint her before she gave up on him? And what had he done this time to upset her?

“I know you’re disappointed. You never get exactly what you want from me.” _Nor I, you, to be honest._

She nodded. “Do you remember that night here, the visions we had of each others’ future?”

Ben smiled. _Is she back on Ahch-To?_ “How could I forget?” he responded, tempted to jump in a ship immediately to find her.

“Well, I thought… I don’t know… I believed in it, but I guess any future is possible and maybe we both just saw what we wanted - what we hoped for.”

He sniffed, amused. They had not discussed their visions since they were on their way to Snoke's throne room together. “I’ve considered that as well. I’m glad we’ve come to the same conclusion.”

“I said ‘ _maybe_ ,’” she said firmly. “I still feel the light in you. I know you could join us. You could be a force of good in this galaxy. I don’t understand why you feel the need to rule over it.”

“It’s what I’ve always wanted.”

“Always?” she asked, sourly.

“Well, as long a I can remember. I would dream about it as a child. One Supreme Leader, me, ruling over everything and everyone. Creating peace and balance with the power I possess.”

“But what if it wasn’t your dream? What if the dream belonged to Snoke and the good feelings you believed were a reaction to that dream were a manipulation?”

“I don’t want to discuss that right now,” he said coldly. They had already discussed this, and it bothered him to hear her sound so much like Luke and Leia. “Why are you crying?”

“It’s so many things, Ben.” She said his name in a way so familiar he felt confused about when and where he was. “What I ask of you is simple, but you make it so difficult.” She sucked in a quick, quivering breath and his heart sank at the sound. “Then I tried to tell Finn and he… well, he’s making it difficult too. I brought him all the way here so I could tell him about you and the connections we’ve had, but he’s just mad that I let you in. He thinks I had a choice about seeing you, even though I explained I had no choice. Then I explained Luke’s mistake and how that pushed you toward the dark side, and how I went to bring you back to us because I know you’re good,” she rambled in an unusually garrulous way. “He doesn’t understand my feelings for you and refuses to believe you could care for me. He was so angry that I risked my life to try and save you, but he should understand because he and Rose love each other and they’d do the same thing. So I said, ‘What if it was me or Rose? Wouldn’t you do the same?’ But he stormed out and I don’t know where he is now. I just wanted to be honest with my best friend and for him to understand that I love you and saving you is everything to me,” she cried, dropping her head and shaking from the sobs.  

Ben was silent, staring at her in awe, unfallen tears resting in his eyes. He removed his gloves and she felt his fingers on her chin, pulling her gaze to meet his.  

“You love me?” he asked, his voice soft, but clear.

Rey laughed through her tears. “Of course I do. Why else would I have gone to you?”

“I know you care, but love can mean so many things. The way you just compared it to them... it sounded like…”

“Ben,” Rey made herself look him in the eye, sick of the insecure veneer behind which she had hidden her true feelings, “I love you. Not just as a person who cares for the life of another. I love you in a way that is faithful and romantic and agonizing,” she confessed, lowering her eyes to the floor.

“So, when you asked me to join you, it wasn’t just to remove me as a threat or to use my power for your Rebellion?” he asked, his tone dazed and his eyes unfocused.

“No,” she said, looking up at him. “Do you really think that?”

“I’ve considered it,” he said clearing his gaze to meet her eye.

Rey was surprised someone with his power and confidence could be so insecure. She took his hands in hers, resting them on her lap. “Ben, I love you.” She squeezed his hands slightly, hoping to convey the truth of her affection.

“Rey, I… I love you too,” he said, his lips pressed together as he attempted to reign in his emotions, but the tears still fell from his eyes. “It’s foolish and could get me killed, but…” He nodded his head, looking down as the decision was made. “I need you to know. At first I was curious… just curious about the girl with incredible power who somehow continued to thwart my efforts to find Luke. You bested me and my curiosity grew. I don’t know what led you to reveal yourself to me so openly to me now, but thank you.”

“No, thank you!” Rey responded, smiling at him. “I don’t know many people and I like a lot of the people I’ve met, but you… you’re different. You’re the one I see in my future, bringing peace and love to my life, and to the galaxy. That’s what I saw in the vision.”

“I saw it too! I thought the future showed you joining me because I never thought I’d leave the First Order - giving up my station. Now I realize, it didn’t show me anything I can be sure of, except you.”

“Because I’ll be there for you, Ben. I know you’ve been let down. No, more than that, you’ve been neglected and abused, but I’m not going to do that to you.”

“I don’t know. I’ve been attacked by you before,” he smirked, looking deep into her eyes.  

Rey grimaced and reached up to touch the scar on his face. Her fingers ran softly from the top, above his brow, then below his eye and down his neck. Her eyes followed as her fingers traced the line her saber had split into his skin. At the end she looked up to find him watching her face and frowned.

“I don’t want to fight you anymore. I want to love you, but I can’t love you if you refuse your true self. I can’t love the Supreme Leader of the First Order. I need Ben Solo.” She put her hand on his jaw and ran her thumb over his lips.

He frowned then, the pain splitting him in two. He wanted to be who she needed, but if he let go now, it would all be in vain. Would he be able to live with himself, knowing the horrible things he’d done?

“I know you’ve fought so long to become who you are, to get to this place, but you’ve got a lot of life to live still.” She smiled slightly and said, “Leave the past behind, my love, and I’ll help you become who you need to be so you can live a happy life. Leia once told me it would be difficult for you to love yourself, after all you’ve been through. I will love you until you can forgive yourself and love the person you are. You did what you had to do to survive the monster Snoke was creating, but he’s gone now, and you don’t need to fight to survive anymore. Just live, Ben.”

She searched his eyes, praying for acceptance, hoping he would agree. What else could she say?  There was nothing more.

“I’m sorry,” she cried and he looked surprised, searching his mind and her eyes for an explanation. “I can’t offer you rule of the galaxy. All I have to give is my love. I have nothing else.” She leaned forward, her head pressing into his chest as she cried, wishing she had more to offer him. She was desperate, but what else could she do?

Ben lowered his lips to her head then stroked her hair, gathering the ends between his fingers.  He felt the strands between his bare skin, then dropped the hair to rub her back.

_Enough,_ he thought. _That’s enough!_ He couldn’t lie anymore, pretending he felt completely devoted to the First Order, and he was sick of disappointing her.

“It’s okay Rey. Hey.” He lifted her chin again and tilted his head to capture her gaze. They stared for a moment, then he nodded and her eyebrows raised slightly, hopefully. “You’re right. Whether it was once my dream to rule the galaxy or not, I don’t care. I have to be honest with myself. Your love is all I dream of now, and if that’s what you have to give, perfect! I will forsake it all to be with you. Will you accept that my love is all you’ll have in return?”

“Yes!” She smiled, grabbing his face in her hands. “Yes,” she repeated. Rey kissed him, then he leaned down to press his forehead to hers, and they smiled together until a sound at the door made them turn to look into the eyes of Finn and Chewbacca.

“Rey, what are you doing?” Finn asked as Chewie called out.

“Yes, Chewie.  He’s…” Rey turned, but Ben had gone. She sighed heavily. “He was here,” she said indignantly.

“You saw him again? Wait, you were smiling! What happened?” Finn asked sharply.

_Oh, thank goodness_ , Rey thought as she stood. She was saved the embarrassment of them hearing her gushing her feelings to Ben.

“He’s planning to leave the First Order. We talked about what Leia said, and how Snoke had lied to him, and manipulated his thoughts.” She sighed heavily again, straightened her clothes, and turned to walk out of the hut. “He said he’s been having dreams of ruling the galaxy since he was a child. I suggested those may have been planted by Snoke, and he should consider what he really wants; what would truly make him happy.”

“And…?

Rey halted her descent to face her friend. “And it’s difficult for him. For years he’s had to become this monster to please the man who abused him. I’m sure he’s worried it will be impossible to join the light and request forgiveness from people like you, and others in the Rebellion.”

Finn nodded pensively.

“ _But_ … I told him I love him and he said he loves me too. We don’t have much to offer each other, but he’s willing to relinquish his position in the First Order so we can be together.”

Chewie spoke again.

“I don’t know,” she shrugged, turning away again. “Maybe he’s just going to enjoy the benefits of living as a normal person. He has the potential to be many things. Maybe he’ll be like his mother, and go into politics. It is an interest of his.”  

“That’s true,” Finn said, frowning. “Though I’m not sure you’d like his brand of politics,” he added.

“Look!” She said, spinning abruptly to face them. “I don’t know, okay? I don’t how, or when he’ll give them up, but if you could see the way he loves me, the sincerity in his decision to leave them to be with me, you would have no doubt. I’m sure of it. So, just trust me, okay?”

“Rey, I know you sense something good there, I just don’t want you to get your hopes up only to be let down again,” Finn confessed, earnestly.

She stopped her ascent and turned to her friend. She looked him dead in the eye and said, “I appreciate that, but something has changed, and I trust him. I want you to trust me now, and I want to be able to have honesty between us without you getting angry and running away.”

Finn looked down and nodded. “I’ll try.”

“Good,” she said, turning away from them once more.

When Rey reached the _Falcon_ she connected with Rose via holocron, practically bouncing in her chair with excitement as Rey rushed to her room to hide their conversation.

“Rey! What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“Rose! I did it!”

Rose smiled. “Good. I knew you could. What did Finn say?” she asked apprehensively.

Rey rolled her eyes. “He didn’t understand that I couldn’t control the connection and was upset I didn’t cut Ben off, but I think he was mostly upset that I went to Snoke’s ship to save Ben based on a few moments of conversation and a vision he believes Ben put in my head.”

“Please don’t talk about me like I’m not here,” Finn said. He had caught up with her just as Rose’s face appeared, but Rey ignored him.

“But there’s more,” Rey smiled gleefully.

“What?” Rose wondered with an amused smile.

“I saw Ben. It was a bit embarrassing at first. Finn was angry with me and stormed off, so I was just kneeling in the dirt, crying when Ben appeared.”

“Oh, goodness. Finn!”

“What? I just want what’s best for her.”

Rey and Rose gave each other a knowing look, then Rose asked, “So… what happened?”

“I did it. I finally told him exactly how I feel. I just felt so emotionally exposed and sick of pretense.”

“OH MY…” Rose covered her mouth with both hands, goose bumps rising on her arms and legs. Then she dropped her hands and gave Rey a stern look. “And let me guess… he feels the same?”

Rey blushed and grinned warmly.

“I was so scared. I told him how I feel, but I have nothing else to offer. I thought it wouldn’t be enough, but he said that if my love is all I have to give, then that’s perfect, because that’s all he wants now. He said he’d always dreamed of leading the First Order, but lately, all he’s hoped for is…” Rey paused. She couldn’t say it, it seemed too perfect.

“Your love!” Rose shouted happily, freeing Rey of doubt.

Rey nodded then sighed heavily. “I can’t believe this is happening. When we get back, and Finn and Chewie are standing right behind me listening to every word, I will tell you everything.”

“You can tell us. We understand. Don’t we Chewie?” Finn said. Chewie roared approvingly and Rey laughed.

“We should be back tonight. See you then?”

Rose nodded and disconnected.

“Are you ready?” Rey asked, clicking controls to turn on the ship as Chewie joined her.

“Ready for what?” Finn muttered skeptically.

Rey laughed, thinking of Ben, and happily wondering the same thing.

  



	7. Shadowed Devotion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beta for this chapter, so please excuse the mistakes. Feel free to comment to make suggestions; or just to give me your thoughts on this chapter or the story so far. Many thanks and much love to anyone reading!

“Wait! That’s the guy?!” Finn asked. Dismay corrupted his face as Poe led him to meet the anonymous donor, standing near the First Order shuttle he’d stolen for Finn and Rose to take to Hays Minor; a necessary component to execute the next strike on their well funded adversaries.

“Yeah,” Poe responded apprehensively.  

“Big F!” the man exclaimed, a stutter hissing from his mouth as if his tongue was being suctioned to the back of his teeth, and he repeatedly tried to pull it away. “Surprised to see me again?” DJ pulled off his signature cap--freshly washed but still incompatible with the new clothes he donned--and put his hands out as if to present himself to Finn, stopping the ex-trooper in his tracks.

“Well, yeah. To be honest, I am! Poe, we can’t trust this guy! He’s the one who…”

“I know, Finn. He told me everything.”

“Poe, he’s a murderer. He’s got enough blood on his hands to drown us all.”

“Now hold on kid. I may have made a deal to save my life, but I’m not all of that.”

“So, you’re going to join us to make up for what you did?”

“No. I still don’t believe in taking sides, but I like you and I _have_ brought you this shuttle… and fresh uniforms.”

“Hey guys… is that the shuttle we…” Rose froze as she stepped up beside them and laid eyes on the code-breaker who helped them onto Snoke’s ship, then sold the Resistance’s biggest secret for his own life, and a massive payoff.

“You!” Rose growled and leapt forward, but Finn was quick and wrapped his arms around her waist to stop her as DJ flinched, preparing to flee.

“You had better tell me what gave you reason to accept his help before I lose my patience,” Finn said to Poe, holding Rose as her scuffling feet kicked up a cloud of dust around them. “I’m not just going to let her go, but he’ll have me to deal with as well.”

“Maybe I should go,” DJ suggested, pointing back toward his ship.

“No, wait! Just wait… and calm down, please!” Poe said, frowning at Rose and Finn. “I understand your anger. I do, really, but this man is responsible for every ship in that hangar,” he said, pointing to the gifted x-wings they had received months ago. “It took me a long time to track him down. He didn’t come here asking for recognition or forgiveness. He donated anonymously, but we needed a First Order ship and he delivered. Don’t you want to follow through with our plan?”

Rose stood upright, Finn’s arms still around her, and stared DJ down. He shrunk away slightly, feeling half her size from the strength in her scrutiny. “And what do you plan on doing with him while we’re on our mission? How are you going to stop him from turning us over the second we leave?”

Poe looked up at DJ, frowning. He obviously hadn’t thought of that.

Finn and Rose threw their hands in the air and turned away.

“I’m not going with you. My life won’t be in d-danger, so there’s no reason for me to turn you in,” DJ offered and Poe looked from him to Finn and Rose, waiting for a response.

“Except you could contact them and offer information in exchange for even more money,” Finn bucked.

Poe looked back at DJ who frowned as he considered his response.

“What if we… keep you here until they’ve returned?” Poe suggested.

DJ’s frown deepened and he looked both sad and annoyed.

“Sounds good to me!” Finn said with a smile. “We even have a lovely cage where we can keep you to make sure we’re safe.”

“Wha…?”

“No,” Poe said, forcing a laugh. “No. He’s joking. We wouldn’t do that to our most generous donor. We’ll give you a comfortable place to sleep and the best of everything we have to offer,” Poe said enthusiastically, hoping he would accept.

Rose and Finn tried not to smile cruelly, knowing the best they had to offer wasn’t much.

“Fine. I’ll stay until they return,” DJ agreed.

“But he’s not welcome to our meetings. He can’t know anything we have planned,” Rose said, pointing from Poe to DJ.

“No, thank you!” DJ said. “Why would I want to bother with meetings when… Whoa.” His eyes widened and head turned to follow someone walking nearby. Poe, Finn, and Rose turned to see Ahsoka in the distance and Rose smiled back at DJ wickedly.

“Yeah, keep dreaming buddy,” she said, patting him roughly on the shoulder of his brand new jacket. “Come on Finn. We’ve got work to do.”

Finn and Rose took off toward the shuttle, and did a complete scan of it’s systems, disabling any that would lead the First Order to them, and preparing it for their next excursion.

“So, the people are already rebelling, in small ways,” Rose spoke to the Rebellion officers later that evening.  They were gathered around the holotable where a large image of Hays Minor hovered above the center, just a giant gray orb with no detail. Many are workers for the factories and they’ve stolen readouts, planned strikes, and broken machines to slow progress…”

“But it’s nothing compared to what Rose has planned,” Finn interjected.

“Right. I have designed and mass produced an explosive which will fit easily beneath the caps of the factory workers, and cannot be detected by factory scanners.

“They will carry them in and set them up during their shift, but they are rigged on a timer that will not activate until hours later, so the factories will be destroyed, but the people will be safe,” she smiled heartily and looked around the table. “Any questions?” she asked as Finn beamed at her proudly.

“How many factories are there?”

Rose clicked a button on the table’s edge and the image zoomed in toward one point on the planet, moving west, then north as Rose spoke.

“There are three. One here,” she said as the image first zoomed inward, “one here, and another north of there… here. We will meet our contact between the first two to deliver the crates for those two factories, then we’ll head to Orwan Port to deliver the last directly to the workers there.”

“Then you’ll return here safely,” Poe said, “I don’t want you to linger.”

Finn and Rose nodded, but Rose frowned slightly, wondering why they should be hurried away. What if something went wrong and they needed her? And why couldn’t she stay and watch? She particularly wanted to see the destruction of the factory built right on top of the land they had taken from her family.

“Were there any other questions?” Poe asked, looking around the table. “No? Good. Onto our next order of business. C’ai, could you show our visitors in?” he called excitedly to his lieutenant  standing by the door. When all eight visitors were lined up against the wall, various species gripping an array of weapons, some of them armored and some without, Poe continued. “These bounty hunters have come at my request. They will be going to Hays Minor as well, but not with Finn and Rose. Their mission is… a bit different.” His smile was wide and handsome, and he had a gleam in his eyes as he revealed his plan, but Finn and Rose could only worry, glancing fretfully across the table at each other, while the others rejoiced.

* * *

 Finn found Rey with Ahsoka, training on mountain. He watched for a moment, then sat to wait. He wasn’t in a hurry to share what he’d learned in the meeting Rey wasn’t invited to.

 _I should have known something was up when Poe specifically sent me to tell Rey not to attend,_ Finn thought.

Rey had been happy to learn she didn’t have to sit through another of their conferences, though curious why they wouldn’t want her there.

 _Probably another boring chat about weapons and how to get more money to obtain them,_ she had thought sarcastically. Rey was tired of war, of death and pain, but knew it was the only way to gain freedom for the people the First Order wished to govern.

She decided to put her free time to good use, and jogged up and down the mountainside to condition her lungs for exertion. She carried a large boulder under the shade of the olbio trees, which cloaked the flat spaces between the rocky mounds that rose all around Katera. Rey lifted the boulder at the level of her chest and squatted down, standing up and lifting it above her head several times.

When Ahsoka showed up for her Force training they were required to leave the cool screen of trees due to the ysalamiri: furry reptilian creatures who could repel the Force and lived among the branches of the olbio trees. Just one could extend a bubble around a Force user and cripple their power, but the women found their powers became feeble simply being in the forest with the ysalamiri nearby, and they preferred to put more distance between them. Rey would occasionally sit in the forest and practice summoning or lifting objects, simply to see if she could overcome, but it was almost impossible to overpower their influence, especially if one enclosed her in their bubble.

Ahsoka scaled the rocky mountain to put a few yards between she and Rey, and began lifting large boulders to throw in Rey’s direction. Rey practiced catching them or flinging them aside with the Force.

That morning Rey had seen eight new warriors arrive, and wondered if any of them were skilled enough to challenge she and Ahsoka in a sparring match: it would be nice for them to practice fighting side by side. She spoke to a few of them in passing, and though they were confident, this wasn’t proof of their skills.

“Oy! Finn!” she called down the mountain, still intercepting rocks from her mentor.

He turned to look up at her, but couldn’t speak.

Rey held a finger up to Ahsoka, to halt the assault, and hopped down to his level to sit beside him.  “What’s troubling you?” she asked.

He was wringing his hands tensely, and small beads of sweat covered his brow.  “Rey… it’s about... Well, you know those warriors we saw earlier… the ones you were hoping to spar with?” He paused, too nervous to continue.

“Yeah,” Rey said with a chuckle.

Her lighthearted demeanor made Finn’s news even more difficult to deliver, and Rex seemed to sense his misery. The large mutt rose from his resting place and rubbed past Finn’s knees, lifting the man’s hand onto his furry head. Finn absently scratched between his ears as he searched his mind, in vain, for the right words.

“Come on, Finn. Let it out already. We’ve got work to do,” Ahsoka called down from the mountainside. She dropped a large boulder, which cracked into several pieces on impact, and hopped down with two long leaps to stand before them. “Go on.”

“Okay, so… those aren’t warriors… exactly. They’re more like… assassins.”

“Like bounty hunters?” Ahsoka asked, fearfully. She had experiences with bounty hunters and knew them to be lethal. Many had been trained since they were children, carried weapons specifically matched to their skill set, and were fueled by a desire to maintain their reputation, a will to survive, and usually--most importantly to the bounty hunter--a large payoff.

“Yes. And, they’re not here to fight _with_ us.”

“Then what are they here for?” Rey asked nervously. She turned toward Finn and grabbed his hands. “Finn, please, don’t hesitate any longer. You’re scaring me.”

Finn nodded, his expression sad. “Okay. Rey... Poe hired the bounty hunters to go to Hays Minor… to find Kylo Ren.”

“How could it be to find him if they know he's… No.” she said as realization hit. “No!” she said more decidedly. Rey stood and marched toward the mountain base with Finn and Ahsoka following close behind her.

* * *

 “Rey,” Poe said as a casually greeting as she stormed into the ready room.

“Have you lost your mind, General?!” Rey demanded angrily.

“It is my job to lead this Rebellion to victory against the First Order. What better way is there to do that than by taking out their leader?”

“Taking out? Call it what it is, Dameron! It’s murder. He’s not even in control of the army. Remove his authority and you’re giving free reign to Grand Marshal Hux. Have you met that man?”

“He’s basically the worst person I ever met!” Rose said, backing her up. She had been waiting at the entrance, and wasn’t surprised to see Rey’s reaction.

“But he’s just a normal, non-Force-wielding person. He doesn’t pose the same threat,” Poe countered.

“You’re letting fear control your actions,” Ahsoka noted calmly. “Fear is a tool of the Sith, and can only lead to darkness, General.”

“And Ben Solo isn’t your enemy! I don’t understand how you can’t comprehend what I’ve been telling you!” Rey said, frustratedly. She dropped her head into her hands and paced within the four foot gap between the holotable and the wall.

“The problem isn’t that I don’t understand. I just don’t believe it. I’ll most likely never believe, and you need to accept that,” Poe responded, banging his fist on the holotable and causing the projected image to flicker.  “You may be a symbol of hope for this rebellion, but I am it’s leader and when I say Kylo Ren is a manipulative, power hungry, villain, I mean it!”

“You can say whatever you want, but that doesn't make it true. You don’t know him.”

“But I do, Rey,” Finn said calmly, his sad eyes calming the rage she was feeling. “I’ve witnessed numerous acts so cruel, they’d make you sick.”

“But people change, Finn,” she said. Rey had felt his uncertainty on Ahch-To, but this was the first time he’s spoken his doubts aloud since she told he and Chewie of her meetings with Ben. Frustration rattled her serenity and their refusal to believe made her want to scream and cry. She would do anything to change their minds, but nothing would. “He was above the Raddus when the command bridge was taken out. Did you know that?”

“Yeah. He’s the one who destroyed my x-wing!” Poe spat.

Rey nodded, sadly. “But not the bridge. He could sense his mother’s presence, and he couldn’t do it. It was his wingmen who shot and they were quickly destroyed.”

“So we should completely change our minds about him because he couldn’t kill his own mother? I guess that excuses the hundreds of other murders he’s committed,” Poe said.

Rey rolled her eyes, annoyed that he would make time for sarcastic remarks rather than to consider the intent behind her words. “Are you so innocent, you can judge his actions for a cause he believes is just?” Rey retorted. She crossed her arms and stared at him smugly waiting for his response, for his excuses.

He couldn’t say he hadn’t taken lives, and couldn’t claim they were faceless soldiers whose lives didn’t matter; one of those soldiers stood right beside him, trying to help him convince Rey to give up on Kylo Ren.

“My point is, people change,” Rey continued. “The light within him has grown since the first time we met, and now that Snoke is gone--and Ben is safe from his torture, abuse, and control--I’ve helped him see beyond what Snoke told him to desire. I know he’s good.”

“Because he spared Leia and saved your life?” Finn said, his resolve faltering faintly.

“Yes!”

Finn sighed, but his frown and the shaking of his head showed his failure to accept what Rey tried so hard to convince them of. “I’m sorry Rey, but I still don’t believe it. He’s capable of love and kindness, I get that, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t also desire power, and wouldn’t kill any other person without a second thought.”

 _Damn. I thought I had him._ “Well, then there’s nothing left to say,” she said. “You obviously refuse to see the truth, and I will not give up on a person I believe is good. Especially not the son of Leia Organa and Han Solo!” _Chew on that thought you stubborn asses!_

“I understand your feelings on this matter, but as I said, I have to do what’s best for the Rebellion, and the other officers have agreed with this decision,” Poe said.

Rey could tell Poe was trying to be kind about it; he even seemed to feel sorry for her, but this could not stand.

“Then, I guess I’ll have no choice other than to stop you,” Rey said stubbornly, and just as peacefully.

“And how do you plan on doing that?” Poe asked defensively, his fingers twitching.

Rey glanced down at his blaster, and rolled her eyes. “I’ll go to Hays Minor, and take the bounty hunters out myself.”

“Rey, stopping a murder by committing more... “ Ahsoka began, disappointed.

Rose and Finn both just yelled, NO!”

“Fine, then I’ll just... stand in their way,” she said, becoming more emotional. “I don’t care. I told you, he is going to help us. We need him and you can’t kill him!”

“Rey, I think we should go,” Rose said nervously as the tears fell from Rey’s eyes. Ahsoka stood close to Rey as well, the three women putting up a united front.

“What the…?” Poe frowned for a moment, then his eyes widened as realization struck. “You love him! Don’t you?!” Poe accused, disgusted curiosity on his face.

“Jedi are required to love and protect all beings,” Ahsoka said. “Hiring assassins to hunt down someone she sees as innocent is a difficult burden to bare.”

“And if you’d been listening, you would have realized years ago how important it is for her to save him,” Rose added. “Of course she’s going to be upset that you’re trying to have him killed in the name of the Rebellion she has had nothing but love and respect for.”

“No. No, that’s not it. There’s more. I can tell, but how? If you haven’t seen him since… Wait. Oh my…” he reached up to run his hands through the thick waves atop his head, turning away, then back to face her. “Have you been seeing him?”

Rey and Rose gave each other a look as if to say, _Took him long enough to figure it out,_ and Ahsoka turned curiously toward Rey as well.

“Rey, is he right? Have you somehow been meeting with Kylo Ren?” Ahsoka inquired.

Then, as if the idea had inspired the Force to connect them, Ben was there, standing right beside Poe.

“Rey,” he said happily, but when he saw her tears, and the rosy blush of misery in her cheeks,  his face fell. “Rey, what’s wrong?”

_Poe hired bounty hunters to kill you. They’re on their way to Hays Minor now. Eight of them.”_

“Oh, Rey... Is that it?” he asked, relieved.

_Is that it?! They’re going to kill you!_

“My love, they can try, but I’ll be alright.”

_You didn’t see them all. I’m coming to help you. I won’t let them near you. Together we…_

“No! Rey! You can’t go to Hays Minor. There are First Order officers everywhere, and they’re all desperate to find you.”

Rey frowned, and looked from Rose to Finn anxiously.

“What’s is it? What’s wrong?” Ben asked.

 _My friends… they’re going too. They plan to lead a revolution already brewing among the locals. They have a plan to take down the factories._ A sob caught in her throat and it was all too much. _Why is everyone I love being drawn to this once place? I_ **_have_ ** _to go. I have to protect you all._

“No, Rey! Please, listen to me. I promise, I’ll be safe and… if you want… I’ll even look out for your friends, but I need you to do something for me. I was going to try and send a message somehow, so this timing couldn’t be better. Will you please do me a favor?”

“What is it?” she asked aloud, forgetting the other people in the room though they all stood watching her, saying her name.

“I’ve sensed that the Force-users I’ve saved are in danger, but if I go after them, it could lead Hux straight to them. Could you go to the temple and warn them for me? Would you lead them to safety?

“I will. Where’s your temple?”

Ben smirked, and the expression nearly crippled her. “Well, you may not believe this, but… they’re on Cerea. It’s between Takodana and Endor.”

_Fantastic! I can just take them all to Endor for safety._

“Rey, what’s going on?!” Finn inquired, his voice tinged with worry.

The Force’s bond which brought them together began to falter, and Ben smiled weakly at Rey. “Be safe. I love you,” he said, fear buried deep within his sad brown eyes. The interval parting Rey and Ben in the room began to feel as great as the vast distance of earth and atmosphere that truly divided them, and he wanted to cross it.

 _I love you,_ Rey responded, trying not to cry. Would this be the last time they saw each other? Did he truly believe he was capable of protecting himself from the group of trained killers, desperate to take his life? She knew he had power beyond what she had witnessed, but began to fear the worst. She wanted to run to him. She could feel he would soon disappear, and her heart felt a strong pull in his direction, but she had to resist.

 _Please… be careful_ , she pleaded, her lips trembling as tears fell from her eyes. _Don’t let them harm you. I need you._

“And I need you,” he replied, taking a step forward. The sincerity in his look and voice took the strength from her knees, and as he disappeared from view, she faltered.

Rose and Ahsoka gripped her arms more tightly, and Finn rushed to take Rose’s place. “She needs rest. She’s been working too hard,” Finn claimed, turning toward the door.

“WAIT!” Poe demanded, stopping them. “What was that all about? Who were you talking to?”

Rey raised her head to meet his eyes and said, “I was talking to Ben Solo. He and I have been connected since I was on Ahch-To, and we can see each other through the Force!” Rey said indignantly.

Poe’s eyes and mouth popped open, and Rey smiled triumphantly. Rose and Finn couldn’t believe Rey confessed the truth so openly and Ahsoka simply seemed surprised as she considered the possibilities.

“Has he seen our base?”

“No, General. You’re safe. We can only see each other, not our surroundings. Not that it matters, because he’s on our side… as I’ve told you.”

“And what were you saying about a temple?” Finn asked.

“He senses that Hux may have found out about his temple, and asked me to save the Force-users he’s been collecting.”

“That’s it! I’ve heard enough!” Poe said sharply, signaling to Finn and Ahsoka.

Rey felt Finn’s grip tighten on her wrist and looked up at him in shock, but it was too late. Ahsoka raised her free hand to Rey’s head, and she lost consciousness before she had time to accept that her friends would actually do this to her.

* * *

 Rey woke in a prison deep within the tunnels of the mountain. She had cuffs on her wrists, but when she reached for the lock nothing happened, and she realized the Force was somehow obstructed here.

A small squeak in the dark turned her head. _Ysalamiri,_ she thought, sneering in the direction of the sound, though nothing could be seen.

She struggled for a moment, more out of anger than with the belief she would actually be able to pull her hands free of the binders roughly grating against the wraps on her arms.

 _And this is why I’m never without them,_ she thought fondly of her wraps. She was only seven the first time Unkar had locked her up; she had not scavenged enough to earn food, and tried to steal it. The starving child was then chained to a post outside to set an example to the other younglings. Unable, and unwilling, to withstand the injustice of her situation Rey kicked, and pulled, and screamed all night until her voice was gone, and she passed out from exhaustion. The next day he set her free, and ordered one of the elder slaves to wrap the shredded skin on her forearms. Rey had to keep the wraps on for several days. She took them off for some time to let the skin breathe and heal, then began wearing the wraps every day, and found them quite useful in many situations.

 _Okay… focus._ She took a deep breathe and gathered her strength, imaging the collection of power from the Force forming at her center, then focused it toward her hands. It wasn’t much. It was as if the strength she pooled was being sucked away by the lizard-like creature nearby, but she could feel the Force, which meant it had not yet trapped her in it’s bubble. She managed to use this small amount of power to unlock the cuffs from her wrists, but when she tried for the lock on the cage door, there was nothing left.

 _No! They need to let me go._ She thought helplessly, lowering her head.

Then, through the edge of her downward gaze, Rey noticed a light in the distance, and it’s shine on the clean steel made it obvious that this cage was recently assembled. Had they not planned on killing Ben after all, or was this cage constructed for her?

 _This can’t be happening!_ She thought. _They need to let me go. I need to save them!_

“HELLO?” she called out through the bars, her voice discordant from hours of slumber.

_Why did they do this? I didn’t pose any threat. I told that fool Poe, Ben couldn’t see my surroundings. But that wasn’t when he said he’d heard enough. He locked me up when I said I needed to save the Force-users. Did he think I told Ben about those I had saved? Well, I guess I did, but I didn’t mean to. And it doesn’t matter ‘cause…_

A loud grunt and a thud jolted Rey from her speculation, and one other followed soon after. Footsteps rushed toward her; heavy boots collided with one small puddle after another on the soggy trail, and the splashing echoed through the narrow shaft.

“Rey!” Rose whispered assertively only a few feet away, blocking out the light.

“Rose! Thank goodness. What’s going on?”

Rose fumbled with the key, but soon had it in the lock and twisted to free her friend. “We don’t have a lot of time. I have to go soon and you need to leave immediately.”

“Let’s go then,” Rey said, following Rose toward the entrance. “Rose, why did they do this to me. Whoa! And what did you do to them?” Rey said at the end of the tunnel where her guards lay unconscious on the floor.

“Oh, they’re just stunned. Don’t worry about them. And, please Rey, don’t be too mad at Finn and Ahsoka. They honestly believe they’re helping you. They think you’re being manipulated, and it’s all just a trick to capture you.”

“They think Ben asked me to go to Cerea so the First Order could capture me? Ugh! They’re so paranoid. How easily they forget that I wouldn’t be alive right now if it weren’t for him.”

“Look, Rey, I obviously trust you, since I’m freeing you now, but I do hope you’ll be cautious.”

“Oh, Rose, not…”

“Hey. I’m not telling you not to trust him. I’m just asking, as a friend, for you to be cautious. Please,” Rose reached her hand out and forced her lower lip to tremble and Rey couldn’t help but to smile.

She rolled her eyes, took Rose’s hand, and squeezed before letting go and following Rose to the hangar.

“R2? What are you doing here?” Rey asked as the droid rolled to meet them at edge of the mountain.

“He’s going with you to Cerea,” Rose answered as R2D2 rushed beneath the x-wing nearest the exit and was pulled up into the ship. “We should be back tomorrow. Contact me when you get there and when you’re safe on Endor. I won’t tell the others, but I’m sure they’ll figure it out.”

“Will you be in trouble?”

“Honestly… I don’t care,” Rose said casually. “I know Poe is in control here, but he’s not the only person whose decisions, or opinions, matter. We’re all fighting for the same cause and I’m about to sacrifice a great deal to help. What’s he going to do?”

“Will they know _you_ let me out?”

“I think they’ll figure it out when they see the two dots from my stun gun on the guards. I just hope they don’t hold a grudge. Anyway, get out of here!” Rose said, nudging Rey’s shoulder and walking toward the starship.

“Thank you Rose! You…”

“Later, Rey! Go!”

Rey nodded and turned toward the x-wing, turned back to hug her friend one last time, then climbed into the cockpit.

“Be safe!” Rose called up to her.

“You too. Good luck and may the Force be with you!”

Rose raised a thumb to Rey who returned the gesture, then Rose backed away and jogged to the First Order shuttle as Rey pulled out of the hangar, and flew away.

* * *

 “Here. Here. And one for you. There you go.” Rose passed out her explosives to the group ready to take out the factory. They had already dropped the other crates with their contact further south, and she demonstrated how to use them.

When she was finished, there was one left, and she scanned the room nervously.

“We’ve still got one here. Is anyone missing? Did we miscount?”

A hand raised in the back, and the crowd split to reveal an old man standing alone. The others realized the reason for the additional bomb and looked sadly at the floor.

“My wife recently died. She was too sick to work and they…” he lowered his head and Rose could see the sobs shaking his small, wilted frame.

Rose’s hand shot to her mouth like a catapult arm, and a few tears fell immediately from her eyes. She dropped her hand, and walked toward the man. With her free hand she took his and said, “I’m so sorry for your loss, sir. I’ll take this bomb in her place.”

“Rose, no!” Finn yelled, moving up behind her. “Our orders are to deliver the explosives and return to the base.”

“Our orders? Are you here because you were ordered to be here, because I’m not? This is our plan, Finn, and I will see it through.”

“Then let me do it!”

“No!” she denied him, pulling away and turning toward the others. “Okay, so here’s how you set it.” Rose explained how to stick the explosive, and to activate it. They planned for the same time, but minutes apart would have as good an effect. When all questions were answered, the workers returned to their homes to wait in anticipation for their last day working in the factories of the First Order.

All, but one.

“Excuse me,” a small woman said from behind Finn as he and Rose discussed their plan.

Finn spun to face her. He lifted his chin from the lowered level necessary to speak to Rose, then realized the person who had tapped his shoulder was just as small, and lowered it once more.

Her intense gaze broadened when their eyes met, the center edge of her brows raised, and tears pooled, and fell responsively.

“It’s you,” she said quietly.

Her voice had a familiar timbre that gripped Finn’s heart and his brow furrowed as he lowered his head to look more closely at her creased face.

“My boy, do you not remember me?” she asked, raising one hand and placing it gently on his cheek.

What came next seemed to open the floodgates of suppressed memories and emotions, and images of Finn’s family and childhood flared clearly in his mind. The woman raised one finger to the crease between his brows, pressed to dissolve it, then ran her finger down the bridge of his nose, stopping at the apex, and smiling as his eyes followed, crossing just as they had when he was little.

His eyes straightened, and tears fell toward the small smile raising the corners of his lips. “Mama,” he said resolutely. It was a confirmation of his revelation, but also a proclamation of sorrow, regret, apology, and joy.

* * *

 It began as a place where the First Order stripped the land of resources--for steel--but Hays Minor eventually expanded, and now the majority of their massive destroyers were built there as well. It was a quicker turnaround to build them right where the steel was stolen.

The first time Ben Solo was made to visit Hays Minor it weakened his resolve to take part in this regime. It was bad enough that men and women were forced to work in the factories because most other enterprise on the planet was taken over by the First Order, but seeing the elderly and children treated as slaves, and children being taken to join Snoke’s army, made Ben physically sick.

Then, when he thought the situation couldn’t get any worse, Snoke led him away from the factory where a man was being held by troopers in a field. He had been beaten, and begged for mercy, but Snoke only laughed.

“This man is a traitor,” Snoke said. His ragged utterance seemed to claw at the man who recoiled from it. “Earlier this day he made an attempt to send information to the Resistance about our work here. Fortunately… for us, the information was intercepted before it was delivered, but we still have a problem. We have a _living_ traitor in our midst. I want you to… take care of this problem,” he said, casually waving his hand toward the man, then turning to leave.

“Me?”

“Yes, Ben Solo. If you wish to end the New Republic, to forsake your old self and to become this… Kylo Ren you claim to be, you need to leave the past behind, and with it… the benevolence and peace you once aspired to.”

“I do want to leave it behind, but…”

“Do you want to prove your loyalty to me, or should I cast you out as well?” Snoke asked impatiently.

“I do, Master. I am loyal to you,” Ben said, his voice shaking with fear.

“Good. Take care of this scum and you will prove your devotion. Take up your new saber, boy, and show these people what happens when you betray the First Order.”

Ben looked up and noticed that many of the workers now formed a wide circle with him at the center. He didn’t want to kill this man. Nothing bad had come of his actions; couldn’t they just demote him? Ben looked down at the man sadly. Tears and snot soaked his sleeves and he was shaking with fear. Wasn’t this punishment enough? Ben looked up at Snoke and knew that if he didn’t commit to this, the man would be killed anyway, and Ben may be killed as well.

He raised his saber and ignited the unstable red beam. He closed his eyes and focused on his past; on his anger. He remembered the unwelcomed presence in his mind, the sight of his mother and father as they left him behind, and thought of the many times he wanted them near, but they couldn’t be bothered with him; too busy with their own interests, and he wasn’t one of them. Anger flickered inside, spreading like wildfire, and burning through his fear and compassion. He began to imagine the figure in front of him not as a man, but as an omnibus of every unjust deed that led to him becoming an unstable entity in this galaxy; a manifestation of fury and frenzy, just like his lightsaber.

He thought of Luke. He pictured his uncle standing over him, prepared to strike him down. He remembered the holonews story of Luke’s temple burning, dead bodies scattered over the grounds. Luke had survived, but it was his students who had disappeared who now took the blame for the deaths of the others. His parents and Dev’s were featured in the story. Dev’s parents looked baffled and heartbroken, but Leia’s anger and shame drove Ben into a rage like he’d never experience before.

 **_She should be mad at Luke, ashamed of Luke, not me!_ ** _And now I’m forced to rely on the creature who’s tortured me all my life? This is their fault. I should be angry! I should be ashamed!_

He screamed and the man at his feet was silenced. The only cries came from the crowd of people around him, and he couldn’t take it.

“GET BACK TO WORK!” He shouted, spinning in every direction to make sure his command was obeyed.

“Good. Good. Come Kylo Ren. Let’s leave these people to their work.” Snoke sneered proudly at his new apprentice and murmured, “Such potential.”

Ben returned to Hays Minor now, at Hux’s request. His troopers’ waning loyalties had been detected by the Sith Lord, but now he hoped to be assured that all those working in the First Order’s main shipyard showed the loyalty he required.

Kylo Ren had a bigger problem than disloyal factory workers and dubious First Order officers: eight murderous creatures would be waiting on Hays Minor to take his life--to claim their reward--and he needed to be prepared to fight.

For the first time in Ben’s life he was absolutely certain, without a doubt, that he wanted to live. Not only for his own prospective happiness, but also to ensure Rey’s safety. Their bond remained a curiosity and if their lives were somehow linked, he would do everything in his power to live - to keep her alive.

Ben stood by the ramp with two of his Knights at his side and two behind: Dani, Kat, Alexia, and Reeta. They were the most fierce of the nine - just as deadly as any assassin, and eager for the chance to take on anyone who threatened the life of their Master.

“Are you ready?” he asked with a smirk, as if they were preparing to play a game.

“Yeah we are!” Reeta said thirstily.

The others smiled and nodded. Ben laced his fingers, turning his palms away and cracking his knuckles. He raised his hood and activated the ramp. The Knights passed him quickly, descending the ramp, and using their powers to sense the location of several bounty hunters already prepared to attack.

Ben stepped out after them, his cloak flowing at his feet, his gloved hands ready to halt any attack. His Knights had already disarmed five of the eight. _Not bad,_ he thought. _And three to go,_ he smirked, remembering how worried Rey had been for his safety. He wished she could see now how unnecessary her fear had been.

A blast came from above, and he stopped the shot while simultaneously clamping onto the attacker and pulling her forward. He halted her ascent a foot away, and closed his fingers slowing, causing her head to toe armor to press tightly around her body. She screamed in fear and pain, begging for mercy.

“Would you have showed me mercy?” he growled. “Were you prepared to relinquish your reward to spare my life?”

“Please,” she pleaded as several First Order officers hurried out to see what the commotion was about. They stood at a distance, watching as Kylo Ren tortured the bounty hunter, and smiled gleefully, this scene just what their malicious hearts desired. Ben sighed. He resented their brutal nature. _What had these people experienced to make them so spiteful, so relentless in their cruelty?_

He sent the blast directly between two men whose desire to hear her scream made Ben’s skin crawl and they dived away, fear overcoming every other emotion. He then knocked the woman unconscious and raised her up, motioning for one of his Knights to lock her up with the others they caught. He had other plans for these assassins.

“Supreme Leader. Welcome. What an… interesting entrance you’ve made,” an older woman approached.

“It seems the Rebel scum hired bounty hunters to welcome me.”

“I’m sorry, Lord Ren. Had I known…”

Ben waved his hand in the air to excuse her excuses. “Don’t concern yourself with this matter. It could not be helped, but for me and my Knights to take them on ourselves. Now, why don’t you show me around.”

“Of course. Right this way. Sir, I am the supervisor here, Zeera Withou,” she almost reached to shake his hand, but decided against it. “I think you’ll be proud of our work. We’ve just finished a new model which I think you’ll appreciate. A shuttle of the highest class.”

“Is that so? And is it ready now?”

“Of course, but it’s at our northern facility. Were you hoping to trade up?”

“Yeah,” he said slowly. “One moment.” He turned to look for his Knights and spotted Alexia nearby. “Alex! When you’ve gathered all eight, take the shuttle back to my ship. I’ll come along once I’m finished here.”

“Yes, Master,” she responded simply.

“Good. Now, let’s see what you have for me.”

* * *

 “So, Finn, huh?” Rose asked blankly, still shocked by what they learned that day.

“I know… I can’t believe that’s actually my name. Well, last name.”

“Can we still call you that… or…”

“Yeah. Of course.”

“It will be weird to hear her call you Eli.”

“My mother… I can’t believe… did you see that picture?”

Rose nodded solemnly. Finn had brothers--three of them--and a father. Every man in his family worked and died in this place, but the one who was taken directly into the belly of the beast had survived somehow.

“Will you bring her with us when we leave? Did she say she wants to join us?”

Finn nodded and wanted to smile at the thought of being with her, but sorrow triumphed instead.

“Good. She should leave this place. I would.”

“She’s going to collect her things once her explosive is planted,” he said in a daze. “Cam. Cam Finn. I have a mother.”

“Good,” Rose said again, still disoriented, but trying to focus on the task ahead.

“How do you feel?” Finn asked. A grim serenity settled over him, and though he spoke to Rose, his gaze was set firmly on the horizon.

“I feel fine,” she said. She raised her hands to her face, cupping them over her mouth, and blew hot air against her palms.

“Are you cold?” He frowned, turning to look at her. She had her gloves on and he felt warm.

“I’m just nervous. I’ll be happy when we can go in, and get this over with.”

Finn nodded and turned back toward the factory in the distance. “Would you like to go over the plan once more?”

“Go in, plant bomb, get out,” Rose replied impatiently.

“Right. Rose… I don’t think I can do this.”

“You don’t think you can…? What are you talking about?”

“I can’t send you in there alone. I’ll go crazy waiting outside.”

Rose glared impatiently, at first, then tried to imagine their positions reversed. Would she be willing to stand outside as he put himself in danger? _Absolutely not._ “Fine. Come in with me, but please try to avoid looking at people. When you were recognized last time, I thought I was going to die from fright.”

“That was… absolutely terrifying,” he said with a smile. “But I’m going in with you. I’ll just pull my hat low over my face. Plus, I never worked here, so they don’t really know me.”

Rose looked at him sideways and smiled as well. “Oh, look. They’re arriving. Let’s go.”

She took off quickly, then realized she appeared too eager and slowed her pace.  

“Good. Let’s take it easy. Straighten your posture and don’t smile at people.”

“I know!”

“Alright,” he said with a smirk. When he saw she had already put on her mask of solemnity, he did the same, and they walked in silence toward the factory.  

When they reached the main entrance, Finn and Rose stepped into line and waited to enter with the others. Fear flooded through them as their fate was once again held in DJ’s cheating hands. He had provided the ship, which successfully granted them access to the planet, but would the ID tags they recieved get them into the building?

It was difficult to hide the relief they felt when they were allowed passed the gate and into the factory, though it wasn’t clear who was more eager to get the job done, and get out.

“Ok, the old man said his wife works on the fourth floor, in sector B,” Rose said aloud, though Finn already knew.

“So, let’s find the lift, and get this over with,” Finn said, reaching up to lift his cap and wipe the sweat from his brow.

The air in the factory was stifling and unlike the polished perfection of their starships, it was filthy and improperly managed. Lazy First Order thugs sat around gambling, and shouting orders at random workers; not to ensure progress, but for their own amusement.

Finn and Rose continued forward, hoping to be discreet as they tried on their own, and failed, to find the elevator.

“Let’s just ask!” Rose finally insisted, and they stopped a mechanic who Rose recognized from earlier that morning.

“Stop! Come here,” Rose commanded.

The man nodded and walked forward, standing with his head down in front of her.

“Where’s the lift?” she whispered.

“What was that... ma’am?”

“Where’s the lift?!” she grumbled impatiently.

“The elevator,” Finn added.

The man looked up, his expression bizarre, and said, “There is no elevator. You have to take the stairs.”

Finn and Rose turned their heads quickly to look at each other, then turned back to the man.

“It’s that way,” he said, pointing without lifting his hand.

“Wonderful. Back to work!” Rose commanded sternly. The man bowed, and turned away.

“Why didn’t we think of that?” Finn asked as they ascended the first flight.

“Because, for some stupid reason, I didn’t think they’d make an old woman climb four flights of stairs every day. Poor thing, this air is practically unbreathable down here, and who knows how high others are forced to climb.”

At the top Finn had to stop to catch his breath, and Rose cursed everyone responsible, under her breath.

“How could they do this? It’s a wonder some of them lasted as long as they did. I can’t wait to see this place reduced to dust! Let’s go!” She said hungrily, stomping off toward the center of the building to plant her explosive.

When the deed was done they hurried toward the exit, but when they saw Kylo Ren standing outside, they both froze, and backed against the wall outside.

“What do we do now?” Rose asked, her teeth gritted.

“Why are you so afraid? I thought you believed Rey.”

“I do, but… look at him. He’s so…”

“Yeah. Scary,” Finn said, watching the tall man walking by with an elderly woman he didn’t recognize. “I have a bad feel about this,” he muttered fretfully.

Then, to their surprise, Ren looked directly at them. They stiffened, wishing they could blend into the wall at their backs, but he didn’t react. He simply met each of their fearful gazes, then turned back to the old woman, and seemed to forget he’d seen them at all.

* * *

 “Lord Ren,” Kat’s elfin face appeared on the comlink.

“Yes, Kat?”

“We can’t find the eighth assassin,” she said timidly. “We believe the eighth may have followed you to the other factory somehow, but there’s no sign of another here.”

“That’s fine, Kat. Get back to the destroyer. I’ll take care of it.”

“Yes, m’Lord. Thank you.” She bowed her head and disconnected their link.

“Great. Well, it seems like everything is in working order here,” Ben said to Zeera Withou. He was distracted for a moment by two First Order officers standing just outside the entrance, then turned back to the woman beside him. “Prepare the shuttle, and I’ll depart immediately.”

Zeera bowed and turned away with a sigh of relief. This Supreme Leader was much easier to deal with than the other. Maybe she could stay with the First Order after all. The pay was good and she enjoyed her work, she just despised some of the other…

Zeera’s musings were interrupted by a man’s voice yelling, “Look out!”

Zeera spun to see Supreme Leader Ren with his hand outstretched, a red blast shimmering in midair between him, and an officer in dark gray.

“Is that the last assassin?!” She asked frantically, heading back toward Kylo Ren. “How did he get that uniform? You two!” she yelled at two security officers standing nearby. “Take this man into custody. I want to know who he is, and how he managed to infiltrate our station.”

“No!” Kylo Ren said firmly, sending the blast directly back where it came from to strike the figure no one else had seen. “I’ll take care of him on my own,” he assured her.

Ben freed Finn from his frozen state, rendered him unconscious, and used the Force to lift and guide him inside the shuttle Zeera had showed him before.

“Watch over him,” he told a couple troopers who cuffed Finn once their leader had lowered him to the floor. “When we get to the ship, take him to the interrogation room and wait outside. I’ll question him myself.” They obeyed and Kylo left to pilot the shuttle back to his destroyer.

* * *

 Rose stood stark still against the wall, her heart pounding nervously as she watched the shuttle depart. She could see Kylo Ren in the cockpit as it rose from the ground, taking Finn along as they flew from the planet. The more space grew between them, the more helpless she felt, and she all but collapsed to the ground as dread washed over her.

But she had been shocked and crushed before, and knew she had to carry on. Rose gathered her strength and stood tall, stepping away from the wall and abandoning this dreadful place as discreetly as possible, with Finn’s mother by her side. She had to return to the rebel base, she needed to rally the Rebellion to save Finn, and she needed to warn Rey that Kylo Ren was not on their side.


	8. Unforgiven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, no beta, so please excuse my mistakes. I hope posting two chapters in one day will make up for my two months of silence. As always, if you're reading this, thank you for your time and attention. I love sharing this story with fellow Reylos and fans of Star Wars.

As soon as the the autopilot was set to take Rose and Cam to the Rebel base on Arceleon, Rose attempted to contact Rey, but there was no response.

_A message will have to do,_ Rose thought, wondering if she should go straight to Cerea to look for Rey herself. _But if I’m captured, no one will know how to find Rey or what happened to Finn._ She had to return to base, get Cam to safety, and needed to rally the troops to help save her friends.

_And Rey may be fine,_ she thought with confidence, trying to convince herself.

Rey had fled the base just minutes before Rose and Finn departed toward Hays Minor. Neither had gone far, but would she go straight to the temple or would it take her some time to find it? Rose looked at her chrono: it had been three hours since they delivered the first crate of explosives.  

_Answer your comlink or check your chrono!_ Rose thought impatiently. _I just need to know you’re okay because I have to focus on Finn right now._

_Finn. What was he thinking, running at Kylo Ren like that?_ Rose wondered, bewildered by the thought. She knew he cared deeply for Rey, and believed Ren was manipulating her, possibly even putting her in danger, but what made Finn think he could take him on? Even without the rest of the First Order from the factory there to assist, Ren could easily defend himself, and she couldn’t understand why Finn tried to attack him.

 

“Rose, what did you do?!” Ahsoka demanded, greeting her outside the hangar with her fists pressed into her hips. Rex rushed forward and bumped Rose’s hands with his head, begging for attention, and she welcomed the distraction, kneeling down to scratch his neck and back.  

“Yes, I let Rey go, but we don’t have time to discuss that right now.” Rose stood and passed Rex and Ahsoka to find Poe.

“Why not? What happened? Where’s Finn?”

“He was captured by the First Order. I have no idea where they took him, but I know that Rey went to a planet called Cerea and if they’re planning on taking her too, we may be able to follow them from there.”

“So, you’ve changed your mind about Kylo Ren?”

Rose sensed something amiss and turned to Ahsoka to find her blue eyes possessing the same skepticism and doubt as her tone.

“I don’t know why, but Finn ran toward him, and the supervisor at the factory wanted to take Finn, but Kylo Ren insisted he deal with him on his own. Could that mean he held a grudge and plans to hurt him or was it to protect him somehow? I don’t know. I tend to fear the worst, so it’s difficult for me to think, at this time, that Kylo Ren was sincere to Rey. I _was_ convinced of it before today, if that’s what you’re wondering. Why?”

“It’s all I could think about since yesterday, and knowing he saved Rey’s life, and after speaking with Chewie about Rey, it’s hard to believe it’s all a manipulation.”

“I know what you mean,” Rose said, turning back toward the mountain base, “but regardless of his feelings for Rey, he took my man, and I won’t rest until Finn is free. If that means I have to gather every soldier in this Rebellion to take him down, then that’s what I’ll do.”

* * *

 “Welcome back,” Hux’s holo-image greeted Kylo Ren once he returned to his ship from Hays Minor. Hux looked positively victorious, and his venomous delight made Ren’s heart drop like a missile into his stomach.

_Did their plan fail?_ he wondered, thinking of the Rebellion’s plans to take down the factories. _Or is this something to do with his own, hidden, accomplices._

“Thank you,” Ren said politely, hiding the horde of emotions warring in his mind.

“I have wonderful news,” Hux began as Ren’s Knights unloaded the bounty hunters from their new shuttle.

“What’s this?” Hux asked, momentarily distracted.

“These are the bounty hunters the Rebellion sent to Hays Minor to kill me,” Ren said, blocking all other thoughts to focus inside the mind of his ambitious associate. “Any idea how they learned I would be there?”

“No… I … can’t figure how anyone would have known,” Hux said with only a slight hesitation. Ren didn’t discount his suspicion that Armitage Hux had set him up, but couldn’t be sure either. Even if he had only released Ren’s location, it was the Rebellion leaders who had hired the assassins to murder him. “Were you able to sense disloyalty from the workers there?”

“No,” Ren lied. “What was your news?”

“Right,” Hux said, an evil glint in his eye. “We have recently seized a transmission so significant I almost feared it was false, but with much analysis, we believe it to be genuine.”

Ren looked back over his shoulder at the shuttle as the remaining assassins were brought on board the destroyer, and wondered when Hux was going to get to the point. He had work to do, and needed to depart once more to check on Rey.

He was actually going to go to her this time. He needed to be sure she was safe, and if it had not been done, help transport those he’d protected from Snoke all these years. He only hoped Dev had believed Rey when she showed up claiming to be there on Ben’s behalf.

“One of those vile rebels sent several messages from a ship which we intercepted, and not only has it led us to the scavenger responsible for the death of our master, but to the entire Rebel Alliance!” Hux could hardly contain his glee and his voice sounded strained, but exultant. “We have once again been given a chance to destroy them and this time, we will not fail. Our triumph will mean the end of the odious scum once and for all. I’ve been preparing for this strike the past two years and nothing has been overlooked. The First Order will reign supreme and unopposed,” he said passionately, a libidinous glaze over his eyes as his fists clenched tightly at his sides.

_Yikes,_ Ren thought, trying to hide his reaction to the Grand Marshal’s lust for the death of the Rebellion. _Time to execute the plan._ “What can I do, Grand Marshal?” he asked, playing as a patron to his cause.

“I will oversee the attack on the rebel base. I thought you may want to head the attack on Cerea. The girl has bested you before, and I know how you desire justice for our old master, and to right the imbalance of her success. You weren’t prepared before: are you ready now?”

Ren nodded. “I’m stronger and more balanced than ever before. I know what needs to be done.”

Something flashed in Hux’s eyes, passed quickly, and he sneered as a smile grew to replace the curious expression he wore a moment before. “Good. Let’s not waste any time. When will you be ready?”

“As soon as my shuttle is fueled, I can depart to Cerea.”

“Wonderful. I have already assigned a squad to accompany you, and sent troops down to Cerea to investigate. They will remain on planet to assist you, if necessary.”

Ren’s heart sped to a maddening pace as he imagined Hux’s soldiers finding Rey or discovering the temple. Would they take it upon themselves to investigate the building, and what would they do if they found the Force-sensitives and his Knights who were there to train them? He had to get there as soon as possible.

This reaction was concealed from Hux, but something told Ren the man could sense it nonetheless.

“Thank you,” Ren said smoothly. “I’ll depart shortly.”

“Good,” Hux said.

Ren passed his projected image, his long strides taking him toward the throne room. When he could sense that Hux was gone, he lifted his wrist and use a secure com to connect to Liss.

“Yes, m’lord?”

“Liss, I need my shuttle prepared as soon as possible, and can you please call Commander Eaton Canady to my throne room?”

“Yes,” Liss responded slowly, wondering why he was giving this task to her, and not some lowly member of the First Order army.

“Once you’ve done that, gather the others, and meet me at the temple.” He didn’t specify what he meant when he said “the others.” Didn’t need to. They stood apart from the rest of the army, and he always spoke of them as a separate entity; a group of people he saw as more important than the rest, more dear to him.

“Yes, Lord Ren. I haven’t been to the temple in years. What’s the occasion?”

“I will meet you there, and there we will discuss it,” he said, his words clipped, and full of anxiety.

“Of course.”

“Be careful, Liss. Use your instincts, remember to focus on what is right, and the intent of others before entering into a fight, and take care of each other.”

_Why is he talking like we’re in trouble? We’re on the winning side. We’ve got the largest army the galaxy has ever seen, and the Knights of Ren are the most powerful group of Force users since the existence of the Jedi Council in the days of the Galactic Republic. What could he be afraid of?_

“We will.”

“Thank you, Liss. I’ll see you there soon.”

He disconnected the com, and quickened his pace. For the first time, ever, he was envious of Armitage Hux, who seemed so thoroughly prepared, and certain of victory. Had he done enough to ensure the survival of the Force-users in the galaxy, including his Knights, Rey, and himself? And what about the Rebellion? He didn’t much care for any of them particularly, but Rey did, and that mattered to him.

The First Order had to be stopped. He could see that now. Leadership didn’t suit him; wasn’t the fulfilling career he had dreamed it would be, but Hux and his brainwashed battalion could not be the ultimate power in the galaxy. What would come of the worlds without a republic or leader to keep order and peace? Ben wasn’t sure, but he knew another New Republic was a worthier choice than Supreme Leader Hux.

* * *

 “Commander,” Kylo Ren called from the seat in his throne room to Eaton Canady as he appeared in the lift before him. His voice didn’t carry the same vigor or pomposity as Snoke’s, but the echo assisted, reflecting unimpeded in the large space until it reached his visitor’s ears.

Commander Canady continued forward silently, advancing much closer to this Supreme Leader than anyone ever came to the last. This was as Ren preferred it. He didn’t care to raise his voice, and expected them to stand at the base of his large throne. At least his marred face was easier to look upon; the long scar on one side not grotesque as the wreckage of Snoke’s face had been.

“Grand Marshall Hux believes he has found the base where the Rebellion has been hiding, and is assembling a massive strike on them,” Ren said, surveying Eaton’s reaction with the care and caution of one holding a human heart in his hand.

“Really?” Canady asked, anxious for the end of this war. Maybe, when there wasn’t a large organization to oppose them, he wouldn’t be required, and could return home.

This thought wasn’t lost on Kylo Ren and his lips twitched on one end. He ignored the slight widening of Canady’s eyes when he realized he’d allowed the thought to come to fruition before a man who could see inside his mind, and could punish him for such disloyal ideas. Ren also ignored that he had been interrupted, and continued.

“It has come to my attention, in the past, that you have no love for the First Order. That you desire to quit military life, and return home. Is this true Commander?”

Eaton Canady’s eyes popped with obvious horror, and he stumbled over words in his brain as he grasped for a response. “I… I… I…” he sputtered nervously as Ren considered him lucky that Hux had never directed this concern at him.

“Don’t worry Eaton… can I call you Eaton?” Ren asked calmly. Eaton nodded, his mouth still hanging open, and eyes still wide. “I have no intention of punishing you for disloyalty. In fact, you’re not alone. As you may know, the Grand Marshall has been teaming me with high ranking officers and troopers alike, hoping to gauge the loyalty of his army to ensure one hundred percent allegiance, and success in battles to come.

“But I have other plans. My dream for the First Order was to destroy the New Republic, and to bring order to the galaxy, but somehow the most abhorrent creature has risen to power in this organization, and he needs to be stopped.”

“Grand Marshal Hux?”

Ren nodded. “Do you know him well?”

Eaton’s chin raised, his gaze averted, as he considered his response. The Supreme Leader had given him every reason to believe he could be honest without rebuke. Eaton was no less loyal than the man in front of him, but this man could afford to be forthright; he sat comfortably at the top of the First Order pyramid and could say whatever he wanted. “I’ve known him most of my life, and I know him well, but my respect and care for him is rooted only in our military positions, and is not personal.”

“And do you believe he would be good leader?”

Eaton shook his discreetly and quietly said, “He’s advanced in this organization because he’s vicious and power hungry, but lacks the mental and emotional capacity to be a good leader.”

Ren nodded. “Then you agree, he needs to be stopped. I’m glad to hear you say so.”

“I…”

“I understand you’d rather just go home now, and quit us altogether, but I need you Commander. If you are to return to your home world, and live a peaceful life, we need to defeat this enemy and ensure a fair, benevolent, and steady republic is in charge. One with respect for all worlds, that is not complacent when real work needs to be done, and one that is filled with leaders who are wise, who care deeply, but are neutral.”

“How will we manage all this?”

“It will take time. If we can, for now, eradicate the violent leaders of the First Order, we’ll have the time to create a peaceful order. As I said before, Hux has had me gauging the loyalty of our members and I’ve learned there others like you. Many are here because this is their job, and they do not share Hux, or Snoke’s, ambitions. They will serve whichever leader is in charge to whatever purpose.”

“So, you could get rid of Hux, and any of those who remain who are blood thirsty and power hungry, and keep the rest to serve whatever purpose you choose.”

“Exactly. Get rid of those whose desires lie beyond peace and order, and turn this into the army for a new republic,” Ren said. He chuckled and shook his head. “I can’t believe this. I sound like my mother.”

“Well… could be worse.”

“It was worse, but my ambitions have waned and I see now how the destruction I’ve caused, and the future Snoke had in mind for me, will not amend the pains of my past. I have to let go and move on. Restoring freedom and peace now will not erase my misdeeds. This is not an attempt at redemption because, in the eyes of many, I cannot be redeemed, and I will never be forgiven, but it is what I can do for the galaxy, and for those I love.”

“Is there anyone left for you?”

Ren nodded, his lip twitching in the direction of a smirk. “And those who have passed are still with me, in a way. Turns out my uncle was right… in part.”

Kylo recalled the words Luke spoke of the Jedi Order, the memory stripped combatively from Rey’s mind by Snoke. It was a wonder Kylo could focus on the words under Rey’s screams and the angry boiling of blood that created a pounding in his ears, but his uncle Luke had spoken of the end of the Jedi, blaming their hubris and neglect for the destruction of the Galactic Republic, and the rise of Palpatine, the Emperor.  

“The Jedi will be reborn, as well as the republic, and we will learn from the mistakes of those who came before us. Will you help me Commander Canady?”

Eaton looked into the dark eyes of his Supreme Leader and felt sorrow and regret. This conversation had brought to light that, despite the evil that corrupted this man for so long, he was good and could make an excellent leader. Unfortunately he was right; there were many who would never see him for what, and who he truly was, many who would go to their grave insisting that Kylo Ren was corrupt and undeserving of love and forgiveness. They would be wrong.

“Of course, Supreme Leader. What do you need me to do?”

* * *

 Rey flew over miles of forest searching for the stone temple she’d seen in Ben’s mind. Narrow trunks sprouted upward with splayed palm leaves like hands that seemed to be reaching toward the sky. A few times she believed she’d arrived, only to realize she’d found another crumbling citadel among the verdant landscape below.

_Where is it?!_ She wondered impatiently, eager to find the temple before Hux’s soldiers, if Ben’s suspicion had been correct.

When a white tower at the top of the hill pulled her gaze to the right, she noticed a light blinking on her wrist link. She checked through the glass to confirm the hilltop structure was another ruined bastion, built and abandoned long ago, and then pressed a small button to activate the message the com secured for her.

“Rey!” Rose’s voice came through, frantic and strained. “You _have_ to turn back. Do not go to Cerea. Kylo Ren is not our ally. He took Finn,” she sighed heavily and Rey could sense, even through the quivering connection, Rose’s uncertainty and fear. “There’s much to tell, but it will have to wait. Meet me back on Arceleon and I’ll explain everything.” Rose paused and sighed once more. “I’m so sorry Rey.”

Silence in the cockpit indicated the end of the message, and Rey’s mind could focus on nothing, but the fundamentals of keeping herself airborne, though not even this basic task could be managed for long. As soon as Ben’s temple was in sight, she landed the ship in a narrow gap of the forest near one of the crumbling citadels, climbed gracelessly from the cockpit, and dropped to her knees in the dirt, hyperventilating.

_Could this be true? I can’t… I don't want to believe it. Was it all a lie?_ The certainty of her love and trust in Ben, in which she found the courage to confess the truth to her friends, slipped away with such ease she began to doubt herself. How true could her trust have been if she was so quick to lose it?

Rey took long breaths, filling her lungs and exhaling slowly to calm her heart. She couldn’t stop the tears that fell; helplessness and ambivalence were always difficult emotions for her to cope with.

“But, if he’s trying to betray me, why would he send me here and not where we’ve hidden them; where they could capture all of us together? _Unless he sent me here to direct my attention away from those I should be helping. He was trying to keep me away from Hays Minor though, to keep me safe. This could all be a misunderstanding; one that can’t be corrected if I return to base and we attack them._

Her decision was made. Rey would continue to the temple, but in a more discreet manner, and wait. Either she would discover them searching or waiting for her specifically, or the troopers would arrive to find Ben’s padawans. She could help them escape if they were attacked.

_And what if_ **_he_ ** _shows up?_ The beating of her heart instantly accelerated, and her stomach tensed anxiously. Would Finn be with him, and if so, would he be Ben’s prisoner, or one he saved on Rey’s behalf? _What if he really has been fooling me all along?_ Rey’s biggest fear emerged visually in her mind: a third and final battle between her and the man she had grown to love, one last brawl that could only end with the death of either Rey or Ben.

Rey bit her lip, clenched her center, and held her breath: she tried everything to remain composed, but fear’s images could not be ignored. These weren’t new concepts which took time to materialize in her mind. Her fears were copies of scenes she once hoped for, and then feared, then was sure would never come to pass because she’d been made to believe their love could conquer all.

She couldn’t even manage to disparage herself for foolishness; the pain she felt reigned over all else in her heart and mind.

Rey continued her attempts to calm the fury within, but it was as though she had already pushed her sled off down an immense sandy hill, and momentum would carry her through to the end; there was no stopping it now.

“Rey?” Luke’s puzzled inquiry reached her ears, but she didn’t look up to face him.

Rey felt shame and regret, but also curiosity. Everything was in the air; sustained beyond reach, and too far to view. Should she feel ashamed she had ignored Luke’s warnings? Not only his verbal tidings, but the fear in his eyes when he’d found Rey in her hut, where he’d expected to find her alone, emotionally and physically connected with his neurotic nephew.

Or should she not feel shame at all and stand proudly with the decisions she made? After all, she had always meant well, it wasn’t her fault that their family drama was repeatedly causing galaxy-wide hostilities.

Rey shook her head. “Two of the most powerful Force-users in history, turned to the Sith. When will your family learn to be more careful with your younglings; give them the love, knowledge, and attention they need and deserve?” Rey said, looking up at Luke and wiping her face with the wraps on her arms.

“Maybe you can break the cycle,” he responded, gesturing to her midsection.

Rey’s eyes widened and she looked down, reflexively reaching for her center. She laid her hands flat across her belly. “Am I…?”

Luke scoffed. “No, Rey. You can’t get pregnant from touching fingertips,” he responded acrimoniously.

She decided not to reveal they’d done more than simply touch fingertips, and glanced in the direction of the temple, hidden beyond the sea of trees in every shade of green. _I hope to know them all by name, someday,_ she thought sadly.

He sent me here to help save his students from Hux and the First Order army, but I’ve recently been given reason to doubt him. It’s shaken my trust, and made me wonder if it wasn’t all a lie to defeat me, and destroy the Alliance.”

“ _Ben_ sent you to save students of _his_?”

Rey nodded. “He was worried Hux learned he’d been hiding them from Snoke all this time, and he asked me to come because he was required somewhere else.”

“And when he asked, did you sense anything of his betrayal?”

“No,” Rey responded automatically. “I did think he was only sending me to keep me from going to Hays Minor to protect him from the bounty hunters Poe sent to kill him.”

Luke’s eyebrows raised and his head jerked back slightly. Everything she was telling him seemed off and he wondered if he’d entered some alternate dimension.

“The Rebellion hired bounty hunters to kill Ben?” Luke sounded both shocked and amused at the thought, and when Rey nodded, he explained, “Well, I feel sorry for those who answered the call; they’ll find Ben is like no target they’ve ever faced, even if they’ve dealt with Force-sensitive persons before. I’m not worried about him, and I get why he wouldn’t want you to worry, but.. the Alliance hiring assassins… that doesn’t feel right.”

“I agree.”

“Did you tell them?”

Rey nodded. “They locked me up.”

Luke flinched visibly and Rey raised her eyebrows and nodded as if to say, _I know exactly what you’re thinking, and I completely agree._

“I threatened to go to Hays Minor to help him, then he and I were connected and he seemed just as unconcerned about the bounty hunters as you. Then he asked me to take the padawans from his temple to where I’ve sheltered those I saved, because he sensed Hux knows where they are. My friends thought he was lying and that I was being manipulated, so they knocked me out, and locked me up with an ysalamir.”

“Ugh. Those lizard things?”

“Yes!”

“I got stuck in a forest with them once. Thought I had… nevermind. I’ll save that story for another time.”

“Are you leaving?”

“Afraid I must,” Luke said.

“It’s been good to see you.”

“Rey, it’s okay to doubt. It’s better to second guess than to follow someone blindly. It doesn’t make you any less loyal if you’ve been given reason to doubt. Just… search your feelings and trust yourself.”

“Thank you,” Rey said, overwhelmed with gratitude to the Force for connecting her with people who helped to guide her.

“May the Force be with you, Rey,” Luke said, his voice fading with the hazy figure once standing over her.

R2D2 rolled up beside her, frantically hobbling from one leg to another as he communicated in beeps.

Rey rose to her feet, looked into the sky, and then back to the droid. “R2, get back to the ship and send a message to Ahsoka.”

R2’s curious response toned quickly as Rey glanced anxiously at the shuttles preparing to land very near to where she stood.

“I don’t know if they’re here for me or them, but it doesn’t matter. The rebels should know the First Order is here.”

* * *

 Once his shuttle was halfway to Cerea, Kylo Ren approached the room where Finn was being held to find the troopers had taken it upon themselves to punish the prisoner he asked them to guard. Clipped grunts and muffled strikes determined they had left their posts to give the ex-tropper a beating, and Ren knew it had nothing to do with their loyalty to him.

Kylo sped his pace, opened the door to the room with a wave of his hand, and the troopers reacted to Finn’s focus on the figure entering the room. They stepped away from the prisoner, saluted, then stood at attention, waiting for orders.

“I believe my orders were for you to wait outside and to leave the prisoner to me,” he said through gritted teeth as he assessed Finn’s injuries.

“He asked for it… Supreme Leader,” one said bitterly.

“We’re sorry for our disobedience, but please understand, we acted out of anger. This man attacked you.”

“This man was once known as FN-2187. A stormtrooper who betrayed the First Order and _this_ is what angers you, not his attack on me. Disobeying me is treacherous as well,” he added darkly.

“But, Su…”

“Get out,” he said, raising his voice only enough to speak over the grating noise issuing from the black and white helmet before him.

They nodded and left quickly, and Kylo Ren shut the door behind them.

“Are you okay?” Ren asked. He hadn’t sensed much damage, but felt it was right to ask, though it wasn’t clear to him why that was important.

“I’m fine,” Finn responded angrily. What did he care? All Finn had done was try to save him, and this is how his sacrifice was repaid? It felt like he had been locked up for hours; no wonder the troopers got bored and decided to pass the time by punishing him.

They all hated him. Every last, brainwashed trooper would love to get their hands on the one who had betrayed them. He knew those two couldn’t wait to get back to their friends and exaggerate how they had made him pay for his treachery. No doubt they would omit that he had been bound at the ankles and wrists, and how they had only gotten a few punches in because they were distracted, fearfully looking over their shoulders to make sure their master hadn’t come to find they had ignored his orders. At least, when Ren did finally return, he called them out on their lies.

“I’ll…” Ren stepped forward, but Finn wouldn’t know what he was about to say. A stormtrooper rushed into the room to deliver news of a nature she deemed thrilling and urgent.

“Supreme Leader, sorry to interrupt, but we’ve located the girl. We don’t know what her purpose is yet, but we’ll find out. The squadron Grand Admiral Hux sent down is in pursuit as we speak.”

“Good. Remind them, I want her alive and brought directly to me. Anyone who disobeys these orders will be sentenced to death for treason against the First Order.”

Finn was grateful he added an ultimatum; from what he’d seen, the stormtroopers of late didn’t seem convinced they had to follow his orders.

“And VB-9988, remain here to keep me updated. I want to know everything going on in regard to the scavenger.” He turned away from the trooper as she delivered the message, then he paced the room, peeking anxiously at Finn as they waited to hear of Rey’s fate.

The trooper stood at attention against the wall, beside the open door. Finn was imagining himself running through it when the trooper stiffened, and reached for a button in her helmet to open communication with those on Cerea.”

“Copy. Over. Supreme Leader, the girl evaded capture....but…”

“But what?!” Ren and Finn asked together.

“They said she’s dead.”

“They said, or she is?! Is there proof?!”

“Captain, is there proof? Over.” she asked, then waited. “The Supreme Leader wants to know. Over.” Another minute passed, then she asked, “Well, did they find a body? Over.”

The room was silent and Ren was standing over the woman, engulfing her in his shadow as he waited for confirmation. Finn leaned forward in the straps, his body strained with the fear now gripping him. “Acknowledged. Thanks,” she said, sarcastically. “Over.”

“Well?” Kylo asked strenuously.

“He said, yes. I’m sorry, Supreme Leader. They did find a body.”

The trooper assumed Ren would be upset they had ignored his orders, and apologized for this infraction. She had no sense of the emotional pain now racking his body. He could feel his heart breaking, and the cracks sending pain through every nerve. Every inch of his body seized, then erupted with pain.  

“No. No. No.”  He cried, pacing the small space, and shaking his lowered head. _They were supposed to find her, to keep her alive, and bring her to me_ , he thought distressingly.

Ren concealed his feelings from them in the past, but now they would know; every agent of the First Order would atone for Rey’s murder. Each and every one would experience the measure of his love when he caused them pain to rival it.

“NO!” He bellowed, and the trooper took an instinctive step toward the door, though duty would keep her in the room. Finn flinched, and for a moment he believed this was the end for him. Ren was known for his tantrums when provoked.

“Sir, they tried, but the girl…”

“No!” Kylo cried once more, falling to his knees.  

Everything around them shuddered turbulently. Finn closed his eyes, and the pool of tears flooded down his cheeks. Then, instead of losing consciousness, the restraints fell away, and he dropped to the floor.  He could hear screams echoing so thickly through the shuttle he felt suffocated by the noise. He sensed the ground trembling, but not the pain he was anticipating.

Finn looked up to see Kylo Ren on his knees, his head bowed and fists clenched.  The stormtrooper was suspended in the air, her entire body convulsing, and Finn realized the tormented scream nearest to him was coming from beneath the woman’s helmet.  

Ren’s fists moved to his face and Finn could hear him sobbing. _Had Rey been right?_ This wasn’t the tantrum of a childish man who’s not gotten his way. Not the destructive response from someone who’s been disappointed, or disobeyed.

His behavior was a reaction to torture of the greatest kind. Finn could finally see that Ben Solo wasn’t manipulating Rey: he actually needed her help, and she had died because of it. Not only did he just lose the woman he loved, but he blamed himself for her death. He wasn’t throwing a fit, he was acting just as Finn would if Rose had died, and at this he realized they were on the same side.

Ren’s hands opened, covering his face, and he and the stormtrooper dropped, crumpling to the floor like rag dolls. In an instant everything went silent, the ship absolutely absent of organic sound.

Finn stood and rushed toward the door, his footsteps echoing loudly in the quiet space. He opened it and cringed, stepping over the unconscious body in his path. Was the trooper dead or just passed out?  Finn couldn’t tell and he didn’t have time to find out. This was his chance to escape, and he had to take it.

Finn turned, looking left to right, but wasn’t sure which way to go. He could see fallen bodies on both sides and realized, whatever Ren had done, it had been to everyone on this ship.

Except for him. He alone was spared.

Finn paused and looked back at Kylo Ren. His chest rose and fell, but his breathing was slow; weak. Finn slowly looked down at the body of the stormtrooper. It was completely still. She was dead. He looked down the hall at the other bodies; dead. Kylo Ren had killed them all, for the love of Rey, and the effort had drained him considerably.

_Will he die as well or will he wake, eventually, on his own?_

Finn looked down the hall both ways once more, trying to remember which way they had turned when they carried him in. It was right, through the door, and a right before that.  He wasn’t sure about the turns before then, but it was a good start to put him in the direction of the hangar.

He took a step to his left, then paused again, looking back at the unconscious man in black. _Rey was right._ Finn admitted conclusively for the first time since she had first told them there was still good in him. _This is horrible, but he did it for her. He loves her._

Finn shivered at the thought of having something in common with Kylo Ren, but Rey was right.   _He is_ _Kylo Ren and Ben Solo, and every person on this ship is dead because they killed the woman he loves: my best friend._

Rey was gone, but if he was going to honor her memory, he wouldn’t leave Ben here to be found by Hux, or anyone else with the First Order. They had ways of detaining Force-users, and Ben’s power wasn’t sure to save him, no matter how incredible it was.  

Finn stepped back over the dead stormtrooper, squatted beside Ben, shoved his arms between him and the floor, and lifted Ben up and over one shoulder.

_Kriff, this man is massive!_ Finn was strong, and his legs nearly buckled under Ben’s weight. He was so tall his feet and hands fell down to Finn’s knees as he grunted his way down the hall, sweat dripping from his temple to his jaw, falling on his own shoulder, and on Ben’s back.  

“Sorry about that sweat man,” he said, his apology falling on an unconscious mind, “but you’re a big guy. Been working out? Or maybe you need to. It’s hard to tell under that little black dress.  Sorry, I mean, your cloak.”

Finn chuckled darkly. _He can’t hear you. Stop talking and save your breath._

Finn found an escape pod, took a deep breathe, then climbed in, lowering Ben safely to the floor.

“Feel free to wake up any time now. If they come looking for us and realize what you did, I won’t be able to save you. I’m no pilot, but I’ll try to get us somewhere safe.”

Finn checked to see if Ben’s feet were clear of the door, kicked one foot from the space, then closed it, and began to prepare the pod to escape. He tried to remember if there was anything he’d brought with him that he should grab before they left.

The only object he treasured was the pendant Rose had carved from a chunk of olbio wood, and attached to a thin cord for him to wear around his neck. He reached up to make sure it was still there, his fingers rubbing tenderly of the carved design, and felt grateful they were either unconcerned or unaware of what it meant to him.

“Is that a token from the woman you love?” Ben asked as Finn pulled away from the ship.

Finn jumped and looked over his shoulder into the dark eyes of the man who’d captured and imprisoned him, the man who’d just killed hundreds of his companions, and may not even realize he’d done it.

_But he’s changed. I can see it now, what Rey’s been saying. I knew him before, and that expression, this behavior, is that of a man who has seen the error of his ways, and hopes to make things right._

Finn nodded.

“Rose Tico?” Ben asked.

Finn’s head shot up as he looked from the pendant made by Rose to the Supreme Leader of the First Order who’d just said her name. It was so unexpected and… weird.

“Yes.”

“Do you know whether or not she made it safely off Hays Minor?”

Finn frowned at him. “No! Actually, I haven’t had a chance to check with her, considering you…”

Ben raised a weakened hand to stop his response and it fell quickly to the floor. Finn stopped, wondering if it was out of respect for his new ally, or residual obedience to his former leader.

“Sorry. I just... don’t know how long we’ve been on this pod.”

“Not long.”

“Then I’ll leave you to it,” Ben groaned, and passed out once more.

* * *

 Ahsoka scanned the planet on approach and, seeing the First Order ships docked near the temple, she was tempted to flee. She’d avoided them for so long, never wanting to be involved, but Rey was down there, and she needed to make sure the girl was alright.  

She lowered her x-wing into a thick rim of clouds, hoping they might not see her when she dropped slowly into the forest below.  She would have to run a mile to reach the coordinates R2D2 had provided, but it wouldn’t take her long. What was important was that she get there with enough strength to help Rey, if needed.

Ahsoka reached down with two hands, made sure she had both her sabers, then punched the button to raise the canopy, and jumped out of the cockpit, using the force to propel her quickly toward R2’s signal.

When she reached the x-wing R2 lowered himself to the ground, rushed forward, and beeped anxiously to her.

“Calm down Artooey. Which way did she go?”

R2 spun his spherical head and aimed a bright light to the east, at the citadel, before turning to shine it into the forest.

“And you haven’t heard from her since?”

R2D2 swiveled his head, just as a human would shake their head to say no.

“Thanks buddy. Get back to the ship. I’ll find her.”

Ahsoka began eastward and found Rey’s footsteps in the dirt leading up to a wide stone on which the citadel was built. Rey had been there, but was gone now. Ahsoka knelt in the dirt and touched her hand to the ground. She reached out with her feelings and sensed a disturbance. She followed Rey’s footsteps toward the center of the ruins.

_She must have been trying to lead them away from Artooey._ She looked down and saw where Rey’s foot had slid as she stood to run, small pebbles pushed aside into a tiny mound, and Ahsoka rushed away from the small pile of rocks to search for more clues.  

The citadel sat beside a green belt, a thin section of trees which stretched away from the main body of the forest. Within this length of trees, Ahsoka could hear a lofty waterfall, whose top was level with the stony remnants, and fell far below into a deep cavern.

She ran across the carved rock, jumped down, and found Rey’s footprints in the soft dirt, leading into the green belt. Ahsoka followed the lengthy strides, realizing Rey had run considerably fast, and hoped she was hidden before the stormtroopers stepped out onto this planet.  

Ahsoka continued deeper under the cover of trees, the waterfall’s rumble growing louder as she followed Rey’s tracks. Near the edge of the forest Ahsoka saw blast marks on the trees like black splattered paint. She looked down and saw marks where the dirt had been hit and exploded into the air. There was a white lump on the ground near a tree, and she unsheathed one of her sabers, but didn’t ignite the blade. She stepped forward cautiously, looking down at the dead trooper before her eyes caught sight of more white, and she looked up in shock at their bodies, littering the ground.  

_Did Rey do this?_ she wondered. The young woman was definitely capable of it, but there was something odd about the bodies. Ahsoka scanned the area and realized they had not been killed by lightsaber. _Could she have used the Force? Of course, but then… she would likely be passed out among them; this would take an enormous level of power._

“REY!?” Ahsoka yelled, stepping around the armored men and women whose existence had only recently ended, though their lives had been taken from them long ago. “It’s Ahsoka! Rey, are you here?”

There was no response, only the warnings of small creatures, and the rumbling of the falls.  Ahsoka continue in the direction of the blasts and saw Rey’s footsteps once more, two close together up against a tree. She had tried to hide from the troopers right here, then…

Ahsoka followed the steps to the edge of the cliff where two sunk into the ground once more, facing the falls and the immense canyon. She frowned and looked down into the canyon. _Could she have survived a fall from this height?_

Then Ahsoka thought she saw something move below. Something which didn’t belong among the blues and greens of the verdant landscape caught her eye and she gasped, her legs went weak, and she fell to her knees.

 


	9. The Rebellion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beta for this, and nearing the end. If you're following/still reading, thank you so much for your time and your patience. I know these chapters have been taking longer than they were before.

“They will soon be on their way and we don’t stand a chance against them. We must evacuate,” Poe insisted, once he told his companions in the Rebel Alliance the First Order had discovered their location, and were bringing their full force to attack. “My squad will remain nearby to provide cover in case they're to arrive before the rest of you get off planet.”

“Are you sure it wasn't a lie, to get us out of hiding?” a young captain asked, raising her hand in the air as if she were a student addressing a teacher.

“I'm positive. I've got it from a trusted source. Speaking of... I've also got some good news, I’ve received a transmission from Captain Finn. He _was_ captured by the First Order, as we feared, but he’s managed to escape,” Poe announced, looking intently to Rose. He was clearly relieved, grateful to have this good news to share, but there was more.

Rose sighed, the weight of a thousand fears leaving her body in that breath. She closed her eyes, dropped her head, and thanked whatever power it was that spared the dear man she loved from death once more in this horrible dilemma.  She would never desert the Rebellion; she knew they were on the right side of this war, and she would fight with them for as long as it raged, but she wouldn’t pretend to enjoy the troubled position they were in. She wanted it to be over, for she and Finn to settle down, and live a normal, peaceful existence. She dreamed of it night after night, before waking to the reality of their lives, and mourning the loss of her fantasies.

Paige was always there in her dreams as well, making reality that much more difficult a pill to swallow when she woke, but she could still have that future with Finn. She tried to focus on that. Finn was still alive. Finn was coming home, and when he returned, she wanted to wrap her arms around him, and never let him leave her side again.  

She could now understand the way he felt, that first time they met.  His desire to lure his best friend, the only person he knew well enough to love, away from danger. Rose was tempted to shock him again, but this time simply to keep him safe from his own impulses, which always seemed to put him in Death’s doorway.

She sighed again. _But he had survived this, and he will soon be coming home to me once more._

“As you are all aware, Rey recently left us to serve a purpose not requested or approved by me or any other officer of the Alliance.”

 _Because you betrayed her and locked her up, you Nerf turd,_ Rose thought angrily.

“While in the clutches of the First Order, Finn learned that stormtroopers located, and pursued her. She jumped from a high platform to try and escape them and…  I hate to believe it, but it is confirmed they recovered her body and she is… she's dead.”

Most of the officers present exclaimed words of protest or denial. Some shed tears in the instant he said the word, but Rose couldn’t seem to grasp it. Her hand flew up to her mouth as she gasped along with the rest of them, but it didn’t feel right. Her personal feelings of denial were fueled by something much stronger than what Rey meant to the others. Even among the few she spoke with often Rey was seen as a powerful ally, a symbol of hope, and even simply a weapon. To Rose, she was a true, dear friend. Rey was a faithful companion, and Rose loved her.  Rey could not be dead.

“My feelings, and my fears, continued to cause me doubt even after they assured their leaders of her death,” Poe continued when his officers had quieted some, “but this information was also confirmed in the message we intercepted from the First Order, and I’m sorry to say we must accept the truth, and move on. Rey was loyal, brave, and strong. She seemed to move fearlessly through this world, determined to do good. She fought beside us, not because it was easy, but because it was right. I’ll ask you to remember that as we move forward from here. It will not be easy to continue with the grief we now feel for her loss, and the loss of others we admired and loved, but it is the right thing to do, and it is the best way to honor them.”

Poe released them after this statement. There was no time to grieve; they had to prepare for the First Order’s attack.

Rose stood, planted to the spot she occupied when General Dameron had revealed the devastating news of Rey’s death. Her head shook faintly as the word “no” repeated over and over in her mind. _No, no, no_ . Sniff. Gasp. _No. She can’t be gone. No._

“Rose, did you hear me?” Poe asked, approaching slowly and putting his hand on her shoulder. “You should get ready to go. I know Finn’s absence has been difficult.”

“Yes. It was,” Rose said blankly, but moving now was not something she wanted to do. To move would be to start this process of grieving, of carrying on. She was stuck in a sort of stasis, knowing what had happened, and knowing what would happen next, but refusing to move forward. If she went to her room, and let the tears fall, that would mean she was accepting what she heard, and she didn’t want to accept it. So many people had died for this cause, and those closest to her did not deserve it. They were young, and brave, and strong, and they deserved better than for these faceless villains to kill them.  

These men who craved power and killed or let people die in their attempt to secure their domination weren’t worth the dirt under Rey’s feet or the grease under Paige’s nails, as far as Rose was concerned, and right now she wished she could end them all so the people of this galaxy could live in peace.  

“Rose?” Poe said cautiously.

“It’s just not fair.” She said, tears streaming down her cheeks.  

“I know. You’re right,” he said, wrapping his arms around her.  

“I try to focus on what’s right, to make them proud, but sometimes I wish we could… no, I won’t dwell on such evil desires.” She took in a quick breath, and exhaled slowly. “I wish we could save them. I wish I could bring back the people I love who were lost to this stupid war!”

“I know. I’m sorry, Rose. I’m so sorry.” He squeezed his arms more tightly, holding Rose comfortably and allowing her to sob into his clothes.  

Rose knew he wasn’t only apologizing sympathetically for the losses that caused her pain, but also because he felt responsible for her sister’s death. It was Paige’s decision to take that job, and it was the First Order who started this war. She didn’t blame Poe, but she knew he blamed himself, so she put her arms around him too, and patted his back. “It’s okay,” she said, allowing him to hold her until her tears had passed.  

 

* * *

 

Grand Marshal Hux stood on the bridge of his newest star destroyer, admiring the shine in the glossy black floor, the dark computers and walls with only bits of red or green lights as contrast. He scanned the large windows on three sides, giving him an open view with which to see his enemies as they died. He remembered the debris and bodies in the air, passing them after destroying several Resistance ships, and smiled wickedly, the skin rising on his cheeks and his eyes alight with malicious glee.

Two troopers stepped through the door behind him, followed by their commander, but Hux didn’t turn to face him. He was still admiring the view when one said his name to engage him.

“Grand Marshal Hux, we have the news from the Supreme Leader’s ship.”

Hux spun slowly on his heel, standing like a soldier at attention, and raising his chin slightly to let the man know he had his attention.

“Our…”

Hux raised an eyebrow.

“I mean, your soldiers found the girl, based on the information we retrieved from the old Empire’s records. They found her on Cerea, pursued, and killed her.”

“They killed her?” Hux asked, surprised.  

“Yes, Grand Marshal. The Supreme Leader asked them to keep her alive so he could face off against her, but she jumped off a cliff to try and evade the stormtroopers, and she didn’t survive the fall.”

“So, she died. They’re sure of it.”

“They saw her body.”  

“Far below, I assume, but did they check to make sure she was actually dead?” Hux asked impatiently.

“I don’t believe so, sir. I don’t know that it was possible, but they watched her float away, face down in the river,” the man sputtered nervously.

“Then go to the blasted planet, and get me proof!” Hux said with gritted teeth.

“We will Grand Marshal, but there’s one more thing you should see.”

Hux had turned away from the men, assuming they would leave as he commanded, without hesitation. This oversight cause the pink in his pasty cheeks to darken slightly and he turned slowly, glaring at them. “What?!” He growled low.

The captain turned to one of the officers seated at a computer below, and ordered him to bring up the video feed from the Supreme Leader’s ship, and to project it for Hux to see.  

They turned to one of the windows, now shaded white as a video was beamed from a projector in the back corner of the room. The projection was from several security cameras, showing as many small squares filling the entire screen. They found the Supreme Leader in an interrogation room, facing a prisoner with a Resistance pilot jacket on, but the boots of a stormtrooper and the pants of a First Order officer.  

“Ahh. So he did capture FN-2187. I’ll look forward to questioning him myself,” Hux said smugly.

The trooper beside him rolled his eyes under his mask. The Grand Marshal’s high rank was handed to him; passed down from a hard working father, but this man didn’t sacrifice anything of his own to be in charge. He was never in battle, and never had to put his own life on the line. He was a pampered brat, though skilled in his job, and loyal to the First Order. They followed him because he succeeded, but when he pretended to be tough it annoyed those who were forced into this fight, and who had actually sacrificed for this cause, and for each other.

“Wait sir. Keep watching.”

The video continued. They saw a trooper come into the room. Ren turned away from FN-2187, and listened as the trooper told him about Rey.”

“That's Captain Erinah Canady there,” the captain told Hux.

“Oh, right. Commander Canady's wife,” Hux said slowly, wondering if this trooper’s loyalty was as waning as her husband's.

Kylo Ren responded and turned back to the prisoner. They saw the trooper’s hand raise to her helmet, and a conversation took place. Ren looked furious, and Hux frowned curiously.  

“What is he saying? Do we have a feed with sound?” he demanded.

“From what we could tell, he was upset because he asked them to bring the girl to him alive, and they failed. We believe he was upset because…”   

The conversation was cut short as anyone in the room seeing this video for the first time gasped in shock and horror at what they witnessed. Kylo Ren fell to the floor, his fists at his side, and on every screen stormtroopers, and First Order officers were lifted from the ground, and shook subtly as though with excruciating pain. It was clear on the faces of those unmasked that they suffered greatly before suddenly dropping to the floor, dead.

“We’re not sure how it happened, but we believe the Resistance was involved somehow. You see how FN-2187 was released, and unharmed?”

“Go back!” Hux commanded, whipping his head around to the computer operator. The feed was reversed until Hux ordered him to stop, and they watched again as Kylo Ren fell to the floor. Hux narrowed his eyes and snarled. “I don’t think it was the Resistance,” he said quietly. They watched as FN-2187 lifted Kylo Ren off the floor, and carried him to an escape pod.  

“We can track the pod, sir.”

“There's no need. The Rebel scum are on a planet called Arceleon. I've already deployed troops to decimate them, but we have a different task. Assemble a squadron, and send them to Cerea to find the girl’s body, and another to take us down as well. I have a feeling our Supreme Leader will be there with his Knights. Make sure both troops have Force shackles. Don’t hesitate to get all Force-users restrained,” Hux said eagerly.

“All Force-users, sir?  Even…?”

“Yes! Especially Ben Solo.”

 

* * *

 

“How are you feeling?” Finn asked as Kylo Ren shifted uncomfortably on the floor. He thought, _Maybe I should have lifted him onto the seat,_ but when he’d considered this before, he worried not only would Ben not fit laying down, but he might fall off. Finn had made a promise to himself he would take care of this man for Rey, and starting him off with a head injury didn’t seem a proper way to honor that promise.

“Weak.” Ben responded faintly.  He rolled from his side to lay flat on his back and lifted, his hand to rub his eyes. He sighed and considered where he was, and who he was with. _The traitor… no. The Resistance General. That was more accurate._ _And Rey’s best friend._ “What happened?” Ben asked, deciding it was easier to have it explained than to wrack his brain for the memory. His body and mind were both weakened from his act of vengeance, and he relaxed as Finn tried to explain.

“They told us about Rey and you sort of… screamed the captain. You said no, and fell to your knees. Everything shook, and the stormtrooper rose in the air. She was… in pain. The straps holding me down fell away, and I fell to the ground, but I wasn’t hurting at all like the others.  You… um… you killed them. Everyone on the shuttle. I don’t know about the rest of the First Order, but I don’t think anyone on that ship survived.”

“It was everyone on that ship and those on the planet who pursued… Rey,” Ben explained, hesitating before her name, his voice trembled when he finally managed to say it.

Finn’s mouth turned down in a frown, and he tried to pull it up, to keep himself together, but he couldn’t help it. Tears began to fall, and a silent whimper escaped his throat. “Do you think she’s really gone?” Finn asked, his large dark eyes fixed on Ben.  

Ben’s eyelids fluttered and he opened them just barely enough to see Finn looking at him, expectantly. _Does he want to know the truth or does he want me to comfort him?_ “She’s gone,” he responded sadly, closing his eyes. He wanted to be strong, but couldn’t stop the tears now sliding down the side of his face. “I don’t feel her presence any longer.

Finn sobbed, and lowered his head. “No,” he whispered. “This isn’t right. She shouldn’t have been involved, and it’s all my fault.”

“You’re fault?  How is it your fault?” Ben asked shortly.

“Because… I lied. When we met, I told her I was part of the Resistance, and when the _TIEs_ came down, and started firing on us, I told her she was marked for being seen with me. She was so good, and wanted to do what was right, and I allowed it. I should have promised to take BB-8 on my own, and insisted she stay behind, and not get involved… not that she would have listened, but I could have tried.”

“Rey was on Cerea because of me. If you want to take it back to her initial involvement, it’s easy to connect blame to me even then, but she was here because I asked her to be. I knew Hux was sending stormtroopers down to find her, and I should have gone to her immediately,” Ben confessed.

“Why didn’t you?” Finn asked.

“I had to meet with Commander Canady. I’ve been collecting intel on disloyal First Order members for months. When I learned Hux had found the Rebel base I knew it was time to turn them, to set things in motion to end the First Order.”

“So, you found out about Rey, and the attack on the Rebel base, and you want me to believe your first instinct was to save the Rebels?”

“No. I wanted to go to Rey, but he already had a squadron sent to Cerea to find her, and I trusted they’d bring her to me alive, as I commanded.”

Finn considered this and wondered if he would have made the same choice. He wished he could be angry with Ben, but he agreed with, and understood Ben’s decision, Plus, Ben wasn’t his enemy; not anymore.

“She would have wanted you to save the Rebellion,” Finn said amicably.

Ben grimaced and lowered his chin in a quick, weak, nod. “I thought she might. Thank you… for saying so.”

“Now I just need to figure out what to do with you when we return. They’ll be evacuating , so I could probably keep you here while I grab my things, get Rose and my mom, and get out.”

Ben was surprised to hear Finn mention his mother, but didn’t have time to inquire just then.

“Finn, I hate to deter you, but could you please take me to my temple before Arceleon? I need to check on my students, and speak to my Knights.”

“You want me to drop you there alone?”

“Well, the Knights of Ren…”

“Are First Order confederates. Are you planning on telling them what you’ve done? What you plan to do?”

Ben nodded.

“Do you _want_ to die?”

“Honestly…”

“Don’t be like that! That’s not what Rey would want, and I’ve made a promise to myself to keep you safe… for her!”

Ben opened his eyes once more to scrutinize Finn. He sounded sincere, but it was so unlikely. They had each given the other reason to trust, but could they ever, truly, trust each other?

“That’s quite a task you’ve given yourself, considering we’re in a war, and the most powerful man in the galaxy craves my end.”

A _nd yet, you may still be safer with him than you are with us,_ Finn thought, and nodded as he agreed to take Ben to his temple. “But I’ll stay with you to make sure you’re safe. I won’t abandon you,” he said as he changed their course.

“I appreciate that,” Ben said, his eyes closed once again, hands folded over his belly.

Finn saw him tilting his head, trying to get comfortable on the hard surface of the pod, and took his jacket from the back of his chair, balled it up, and stood to kneel beside the frail man.

“Lift your head,” he said, and Ben obeyed.

“Much better. Thank you,” Ben said.

Finn stood, and stared down at him, and the jacket now creating a pillow for his head. He recalled that night in the forest, and marveled at how things had changed.

Ben reached back slowly, barely able to lift his hand to his head, and pulled a piece of roughly stitched fabric out from beneath his head, frowning then relaxing when his skull was free of the bump. He curiously rubbed the stitch between two fingers, smirked, and dropped his hand, his strength spent from his action.

“Couldn’t find a new jacket?”

“That one is special to me,” Finn said earnestly.

Ben frowned, considered Finn’s words, and finally responded, “I imagine, after your upbringing with the troopers, anything given--love, friendship, objects--all of it must have deep meaning for you.”

Finn returned to his seat, nodding in response, “You’re right. It must be similar to how you feel...felt, having Rey’s love and loyalty.”

Ben’s eyebrows pulled together, and the ends of his mouth sagged mournfully.

“Right now... I’m confused, and in awe, of how you and I once fought, and now we’re here,” Finn admitted.

“You’ve offered me this jacket, in care and comfort, and it was I who nearly killed you, creating this scar on the fabric.”

“It’s baffling. You and Rey must have felt this confusion all the time.”

“We did. I think it was more difficult for her to accept. I never hated her, and she was always worthy of love, so there was never any doubt for me.”

“Always worthy and never receiving,” Finn said sadly, his tears returning.

“I’m grateful to you, and the others who were so good to her the past couple years. She deserved so much more, but I know she had the love and joy she deserved, if only in that short time.”

Finn sobbed quietly, leaning over the controls of the escape pod, and Ben lay still and silent, tears rolling from his eyes into his ears.”

Both mourned the woman they loved, and swore silently to make the First Order pay for taking her from them.

 

* * *

 

“Poe. Hey, Poe!” Rose called out, jogging toward the black and orange x-wing Poe climbed up to.

Poe stopped at the top of the ladder and turned to look down at Rose. “What is it, Rose?”

Finn just contacted me. He’s got Ben Solo and they’re headed for Cerea now.”

Poe frowned, and climbed into his cockpit. “What?!”

“Okay, so Ben was with Finn when they heard Rey had died, and Ben did some craziness with the Force and killed everyone on his shuttle, and all the stormtroopers who were chasing her, but Finn was free and fine, and Ben passed out. Finn took Ben with him when he escaped because he realized Ben _is_ on our side--thank goodness! He’s been working for months to find the members of the First Order who aren’t loyal to Hux, and is turning them to help us. He’s planned to allow them to return to their families, or to join the army of the new Galactic Republic.

Poe examined this idea in his mind, still doubtful. “That does make sense. If Finn could turn, there must be others. That’s smart of him to offer to free them or employ them, but we’re still evacuating.”

“Of course,” Rose said. “But there’s more. Finn and Ben are going to Cerea to find his Knights, and the padawans he’s been collecting. A few of his Knights have been training them, and he’s going to warn them the First Order is going there, but also ask if any want to fight with him. So, I was thinking, maybe Chewie and I can go to Endor, and do the same.”

Poe thought silently for a minute, then responded, “I don’t see a problem with that. If they volunteer, and are of age to join the Rebellion, we could use all the help we can get.”

Rose nodded enthusiastically, and clapped her hands together. “Yes! Okay, I’m going to make sure Cam is safely on board a shuttle, then Chewie and I will go to Endor.”

“So, this is the day,” Poe said thoughtfully, staring blankly over the miles of trees. “This could be the end of the war.”

“And thanks to Rey, and Ben, we actually stand a chance.”

Poe’s gaze cleared, and he looked down at Rose. He stared, nodded, then turned away to head for the sky.

_Was that a confirmation he agrees? Probably not completely--we’re all skeptical--but at least he didn’t argue... for once._

Rose hopped with a turn in the opposite direction, and rushed back to the _Falcon_ to deliver the news to Chewbacca, but on her way she was stopped by one of the last people she wanted to see.

“What’s going on?” DJ asked, with a drawn out shuffle of the tongue on the back of his teeth, his nervousness causing him to stutter even more than usual. He stepped into Rose’s path, and she almost knocked into him.

“We’re evacuating,” Rose said tensley, taking a long step back. “I didn’t know you were still here.”

“I-I…”

“I don't have time to talk. The First Order may be on their way here, now, and we need to leave.”

“Where are y-you g-g-going?”

Rose glared up into his eyes then scanned down, all the way to his feet, before looking back up with one eyebrow raised. “The First Order is sending troops to Cerea. We’re preparing for the attack.” _Why? Are you going to betray us again? Should I do something to stop him?_

“You can’t attack the First Order. They’ll wipe you out in minutes.”

“I don't have time to discuss this with you,” Rose passed him, but the sincere concern on his face halted her escape, and she stopped, and turned to face him once more. “Finn has the details: if you want to help, call him.”

DJ nodded, and Rose turned her back on him hoping this wasn’t a moment she would look back on, and regret.

 

* * *

 

FN-3818 stood among the ranks of invisible soldiers; a crowd of many in matching armor. They were always told their masks were for more than protection from blunt force or smoke inhalation.

“It is to show a united front when we face our enemies, and so, when you look at each other, you remember that no single stormtrooper is more important than another. No single person in this army is more important than our loyalty to the First Order as a whole,” Phasma said during one of many lectures about fealty, and why they were taken from their families to serve.

Now, once again, he stood in line with the others, listening to someone in a uniform, who never actually engaged in conflict against the enemy--another product of nepotism--standing before them to discuss their grand purpose.

They had been chosen, each one hand picked by Supreme Leader Ren himself, for a special assignment. These new squadrons had been chosen randomly months before, and so discreetly, it seemed unimportant, and went unnoticed by all - except those chosen.

Some were told they would do better in a different group, some were made to believe it was  a special program, and they were training to be promoted. A few, who had been dealing with much fear and anxiety, were told this would be a less combative force, while others were told they may see more action.

They may have questioned these contradictions, but they were stormtroopers, and stormtroopers didn’t question authority; they obeyed.

“As you were told, you each have been chosen by Supreme Leader Ren to serve on his ship. The time has come for us to fulfill our purpose, in service to the galaxy.”

 _Serve the galaxy?_ FN-3818 thought acerbically. _We’re serving a man, not our galaxy. A Sith, no less, who cares more for power than he does for the galaxy._

 _No. It isn’t safe to think that way._ FN-3818 knew he shouldn’t feel this way, or even feel this deeply, but since the new squadrons had been formed, they were denied conditioning. This meant he was till dreaming of his family--particularly his mother--and couldn’t easily manage his feelings.

“Soon you will be given a choice. You will enter a booth, information about the mission will be provided, and you can choose to accept or to return to your old position with Grand Marshal Hux’s army.

“ _But,_ before you make your choice, I have a promise for each and every one of you. Whatever you choose, you will not be harmed here today. If you choose not to join us, I assure you, you can leave in peace, as long as you leave in peace, and cause no harm to others.”

_Well, that was ominous._

FN-3818 looked down from where Commander Canady was perched above them, and noticed many curtained booths standing below.

“Captains, position your soldiers in lines to wait their turn. There’s a booth for each troop. You will go in ahead of them, and wait for them on the other side. Please, remove your helmets, and begin.”

FN-3818, and others, stood still for a moment, curious and anxious. Most were grateful to have left Hux’s control. Ren’s ship had the same amount of training, but the feeling was less severe, the captains were less cruel.

_But.. what is it Supreme Leader Ren wants us to do?_

FN-3818 lined up the women and men behind him, ordered them to remove their helmets, and briefly looked each on in the eye before turning away, and entering the booth. This is what they’d all been waiting for, and though his heart beat so violently it made his stomach ache, he had a good feeling about this.

 

* * *

 

“BP-1771, welcome,” a robotic voice filled the limited space within the four curtained walls of the booth, and he looked down at the screen with the words printed across in blocky green font.

The computer was old; something scavenged from an ancient ship either unused or crashed on an uninhabited planet where scavengers couldn’t strip it to sell.

 _Or maybe scavengers had found it, and didn’t want it. Couldn’t the Supreme Leader of the First Order afford more advanced technology?_ _Why recycle outdated tech when you could have something new? Hux would never allow this on his craft._ BP-1771 thought.

“You’re real name is Jeremy Vopel. You are from the Planet Pamarthe. Here is your family.”

BP-1771 gasped and the lids of his eyes sprang wide. He had been taken at the age of five, and had clear memories of his life and family, but didn’t know the planet he was from. He was also shocked the First Order was providing this information. Most of the others knew nothing of their pasts, and this treasonous information would shake them to their core.

Two pictures of his family appeared on the screen, and he reached forward, but the old screen shuddered when he tried to touch their faces. Thick green lines traveled from the bottom to the top of the screen before it settled to show his pictures more clearly: one old and one new.

“Here is your choice. You may fight with us, and when the battle is over--when Hux and his army are defeated--your life is in your hands. You can leave this army or stay, and serve the new Galactic Republic. If you refuse this offer, you will rejoin the First Order army under Hux.”

The robotic voice provided this offer as he stared down at the faces of his family. When the space was quiet, the picture disappeared, replaced by two rectangles above buttons below the screen. Within the rectangles were the words, “Accept,” and “Reject,” and he knew he had to decide quickly.

BP-1771 wanted to return to his family. He had a brother and sister, both younger, he would love to know. He missed his father. His mother had left when his baby brother was one, so he knew he wouldn’t see her again.

The problem was, he wasn’t sure this group would succeed in taking the First Order down. He may have better luck rejoining Hux, then escaping from the First Order, but would Canady really let them go freely to join their opposition? He made a point to promise they could.

“I really have no interest in fighting against the First Order,” he said aloud, reaching for the button to reject their offer. It was a risk, but he trusted Canady.

A light flashed, the screen was lifted above his head, and the wall of fabric before him opened up.

“Thank you, and good luck with your future endeavors,” the robotic voice echoed from above. The floor had lit up red and his captain waited on the other side.

“What happened?” BP-1771 asked, confused.

“You rejected the offer. You’ve chosen to rejoin Hux’s army. Please follow the red line to your shuttle.”

“But… what offer? I don’t… remember. I was waiting in line, then I was here.”

“Don’t worry, BP-1771. Just follow the red line, and you’ll return to Hux’s ship. It’s the choice you made.”

“Okay,” BP-1771 said. He was confused, but had a contented, triumphant feeling in his chest. He smiled, returned his helmet to his head, and followed the line.

“What is it, FN-3818?” TR-9985 asked when their troopers had gone. BP-1771 had been the first to reject the offer, and they were surprised by his pleasant demeanor.

“I don’t know. I’m glad to know they considered ahead,” FN-3818 said.

“Me as well. It would be… unpleasant if they came out upset or suspicious.”

“And we wouldn’t want them telling Hux the plan.

TR-9985 nodded quietly, and they could hear another row of troopers enter their booths, and learn their names.

“Hey, do you think.. Um… From now on, just call me Steve, okay?”

TR-9985 smirked, and reached out to shake his hand. “James.”

“Nice to meet you, James.”

 

* * *

 

LJ-7715 stepped into the booth, eager to solve the mystery of their purpose in Kylo Ren’s special squad.

When picked, she was told it was because she showed promise. Kylo Ren had gone with her unit on a mission, and when they returned, she was told he wanted her to serve on his ship.

She wracked her brain, trying to figure out why she was picked, but for several weeks nothing made sense. All she had done was go down to a planet with the others, march through town, then wait as the Supreme Leader gathered a Force-user. Was he collecting people who felt bad for the frightened people he found, because that was the only thought she had beyond the taks they had to perform.

One night she heard her roommate shouting for her mother in her sleep, and LJ-7715 began to wonder if these memories had anything to do with their departure. She too had been dreaming of her family. The longer she was with this group, the more frequent the dreams had become.

She spoke with her roommate about it, and not only was her experience the same, but she’d recently become close with another stormtrooper who’d been dreaming of his sisters.

Everything changed when they boarded Kylo Ren’s ship: they were treated with more respect by their superiors, they never had to be reconditioned for behaving humanely, and they even had a companion who refused orders, and she wasn’t punished. Her captain took the trooper into her office, spoke to her about it, agreed with her decision, and excused her.

 _It has to have something to do with our memories or our compassion._ LJ-7715 thought. She often feared their allegiance was in question, but she felt more loyal to this group, as it was, than she ever felt for the First Order.

LJ-7715 stepped into the booth, and the curtains closed behind her. “Please place your thumb on the scanner, and state your handle,” a voice said. She obeyed and waited, but couldn’t believe what happened next.

“Welcome, and thank you for agreeing to join us,” her captain said as she followed a green line from the back side of her booth.”

“I’m glad to be a part of this,” she responded.

“Do you mind…? Can I ask, have you decided what you’ll do after, if we win?”

“I’d like to join the army of the Galactic Republic. I just feel like… we’ve terrorized the people of this galaxy for so long. For once, when we say our intention is to protect them, I’d like to feel the sincerity in that promise.”

Her captain smiled, and agree with a nod. “That’s great.”

“Thanks. I’m guessing it’s the same for you, then?”

She nodded and asked, “And what’s your name soldier?”

“Chelle Oba, Captain.”

“Welcome to the army of the New Galactic Republic, Lieutenant Oba.”

Chelle nodded with a smile, dropped her helmet into a pile on the floor, and joined the others.

 

* * *

 

“Yes, Grand Marshal. Our scouts have confirmed the Rebellion is on Arceleon. Once I’ve returned to the Supreme Leader’s ship, we will depart immediately,” Eaton Canady assured.

This plan was critical to Hux, and he had become strict about how information was passed. He insisted Eaton Canady board his ship to deliver the information.

“Wonderful. And I will go to Cerea to confirm the Jakku trash in indeed deceased. Then I will discover what it is Ben Solo has been hiding from me.”

Eaton frowned. _Ben Solo, huh? I guess he’s outright refusing to see the Supreme Leader as anyone connected to the First Order. Just as well._

“Is there anything else, sir?”

“No. You’re excused.”

When Eaton Canady returned to his shuttle, there was a call coming in on the com, but whoever was trying to connect had blocked their identity, and he hesitated before accepting.

“C-commander.”

“Who are you?”

“I’m with the Rebellion. I’ve heard you, and some of your soldiers, are leaving the First Order to join us, and I have a plan, b-but it requires… help… from you.”

“Tell me,” Eaton said curiously. “Then I’ll decide for myself if you’re really trying to help the Rebellion.”

Eaton recognized the man who had once sold the Resistance’s location in exchange for a large amount of money. Could he really be helping them now? Maybe he felt guilty for the number of deaths his trade caused. Or maybe he now had more reason to help the Rebellion. Either way, Eaton would be cautious with him.

 

* * *

 

“Yes, young man. I can gather that number of code breakers--I’ve probably got that many in the bar now--but how can I convince them to join this suicide mission?” Maz wondered, staring down on the small blue projection of DJ, hovering above her table in the castle on Takodana.

“It’s not a suicide mission. We’ll have our own shuttles to escape on. Plus, actual stormtroopers there to assist. Finn and Ben Solo have confirmed their loyalty.”

“And has anyone heard from the girl?”

DJ shook his head impatiently. Whoever she was, she was gone, and discussing her death would only distract from what needed to be done.

“Well, I know we have every reason to believe she’s gone, but I refuse to accept it until I see it for myself. The Force is mysterious, and surprising; as is the universe. I…”

“No disrespect to you… or her… but I’ve got work to do. Just tell them they’ll be compensated if they help us.”

“How will you compensate them?” Maz wondered.

“With whatever currency the New Galactic Republic chooses to use if they help us defeat the First Order,” he said impatiently.

“Okay. I’ll find the best I know.. And if they refuse to come, I’ll call on whoever’s willing and available.”

“Th-th-th-thank you. Meet us as soon as possible. I’m sending the coordinates now.”

“May the Force be with you,” Maz said.

“Yeah. Yeah. See you there.” DJ responded, disconnecting the link.

Maz smiled and got to work. She climbed on the table, scanned the room slowly, adjusting her goggles several times as she zoomed in on specific faces, made a mental note of their names, then zoomed out to give herself a wider view of her patrons.

“Emmie,” she called out after returning to her seat, and writing down some names.

“Yes?” the droid asked, rolling over in a hurry.

“It’s time to call in some favors. Here,” she said, handing the list to Emmie. “I need these people to meet me below in ten minutes.”

Maz smiled as the droid rolled away, and began calling the names Maz had written. She had a good feeling about their plan, and reveled in the idea of the First Order being destroyed, returning balance to the galaxy once more.

* * *

 

Ahsoka gripped a tree root, thick enough to secure her, but narrow enough to hold in one hand as she leaned far over the edge of the cliff.

A shrouded figure was scaling the cliff-side at a surprising speed, and she gaped, bewildered, wiping the tears from her eyes to clear her gaze.

“It can’t be,” she whispered aloud. “Rey?!” she called out, her voice echoing through the cavernous space. Her voice carried, but the sound was cushioned, and sunk into the soft green landscape.

Rey looked up, and her hood feel back to reveal her face. The sound of her mentor empowered her, and she somehow climbed even faster; grabbing at tree roots, rocks, handfuls of thick vines, anything to help her reach Ahsoka’s outstretched hand.

“Rey!” Ahsoka exclaimed gleefully, pulling Rey up to the surface, and embracing the young woman firmly.

Rey cried into Ahsoka’s shoulder, the sight of a friend, the feeling of safety after death had been so near, too much of a contrast in feelings for her mind to manage without crying it out. She heard Ahsoka’s sobs as well, and knew Ahsoka thought death had taken her.

“I can’t… I can’t believe it!” Ahsoka finally said, pushing Rey’s shoulders to separate them, then grabbing her face. “How’d you do it?”

“Do what?” Rey asked, smiling and wiping tears from her face and jaw.

“Escape? Survive that fall? Destroy all the stormtroopers? Take your pick.”

Rey frowned, looked passed Ahsoka at the lifeless bodies on the forest floor, and gasped, covering her mouth in shock.

“I didn’t… I don’t know how that happened. It wasn’t me.”

Ahsoka frowned then, and considered other possibilities. “Could it have been your Ben?”

“No,” Rey responded without hesitation, her composure fracturing in an instant. “ _My_ Ben is a lie He set me up; sent these soldier to kill me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Ahsoka...he sent me here, and as soon as I landed, the stormtroopers arrived and hunted me down like a griff. Who else could it have been who sent them after me?”

Ahsoka’s eyes widened as she realized something. “And that’s why I couldn’t sense you through the Force. You’re making sure he can’t find you.”

Rey nodded.

“So… What now? It can’t be safe here. Should we return to the Alliance?”

“No! If I’m right, Kylo Ren will be coming to Cerea to check on his students, and maybe even to confirm my death. The last I heard from anyone was Rose telling me he had taken Finn. We have to make sure Finn is safe. Plus, I think it’s time Kylo and I settle our differences.”

Ahsoka nodded. She didn’t know if this was the best idea, but she could tell from the look in Rey’s eyes, she could not change her mind.

“He’ll know you’re alive when you reconnect with the Force to face him,” Ahsoka said.

“I don’t need the Force to beat him, but if he chooses to use it against me, I’ll gladly destroy him with it.”

“It won’t help you to go in over confident,” Ahsoka said with a smirk, admiring Rey’s spirit.

Rey nodded, exhaling slowly through her nostrils in an attempt to calm her rage.

“So, I guess you passed right over grief, and went straight to rage,” Ahsoka teased.

“I don’t have time for every stage of emotional acceptance. His betrayal broke my heart, but my mind is determined to survive. When I jumped to evade the troopers, I realized I wouldn’t survive the impact, and I managed to levitate, and lower myself safely to the riverside.”

“Rey! That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you,” Rey smiled. “Your training has paid off, and I’ll be forever grateful for the time you spent with me. Though, I’m not sure my next trick was as impressive. I decided to jump into the river, cloak and all, floating face down to make the troopers think I’d died, but I guess they weren’t looking.”

“Actually, I think they were,” Ahsoka said, pointing to the trooper hanging over the side of the cliff.

“Okay, then. Good plan. Anyway, I grieved a bit down there, then realized I needed to escape before Kylo came down looking for my body: he’s meticulous, and will want to see for himself that I’m gone. So, I forced myself to get over it, closed myself off from the Force, and got back up here. Oh!” she exclaimed loudly. “If the troopers died, my x-wing may still be intact.”

Ahsoka nodded to confirm Rey’s ship was unscathed. “I spoke to Artooey. We could go back to our ships, return to the Rebellion, and get help,” Ahsoka suggested without confidence Rey would accept the offer.

Rey shook her head and Ahsoka’s shoulders slumped.

“I don’t look forward to being proven wrong, but I have to face him,” Rey said. She shuddered and Ahsoka cocked her head. “All this time, even when I was angry with him, I believed our connection was special. Then, I believed he loved me… truly loved me. There have been shockingly vicious things done to me in my life, _but_ nothing compares to my enemy fooling me into believing we were in… love.”

Ahsoka grimaced, watching as Rey confessed her pain; struggling to speak the last word. Love was torture to Rey. It was an idea she clung to as a child: if she held onto her love for her parents, and waited for them no matter what happened, they might see her love and devotion when they returned, and would surely take her with them. Now love was being used against her in a war. She fell, so completely, gave all to the love she felt, and she was betrayed. Not only was the love he promised false, but the man she’d held, kissed, relied on, confided in--the man she would have fought and died for-- wanted her dead all along.

Love was a betrayal. Love was a lie.

Just as Rey had closed herself off from the Force, she had begun to deny love so that even saying the word was a burden to bear.

But she couldn’t forget their time together, and it made his betrayal even more painful. Each memory was another knife to her heart. Especially the last. She only wanted to protect him, and he sent her to die.

His words filled her head then seemed to form a barbed rope that circled down to her chest, and wrapped around her heart. Her mind now angrily filling in the words he didn’t speak.

_“I’ll look out for your friends,” so I can capture him._

_“Could you go to the temple” so I know where to find you?”_

She felt foolish for telling him she loved him, for letting him close. Rey wondered if she could die from the shame of telling Kylo Ren she needed him.

_“And I need you,” to die._

“I’m glad he thinks I’m dead. That will make it even more gratifying when I face him, to save Finn, and to protect the Rebellion. I may need your help,” she said, looking up from the ground to meet Ahsoka’s eyes.

“Is he that powerful?”

“He is, but I will want to face him alone, though… his Knights may be there. I hate to ask this of you…”

“Rey, I wouldn’t have it any other way” Ahsoka took Rey’s hands in her own, and squeezed gently. “I didn’t want to get involved… at first. I was convinced to find you, and told you needed my help. I like to think I’ve done more than just train you to fight. I hope I’ve done enough to help you follow a path you’re proud to follow for the rest of your life. But also… I’ve grown to care for you, and I couldn’t abandon you now.”

Rey nodded, and tried to smile. “I just wish we had more help. Could you try to contact our people on Endor? Maybe…” Rey stopped and grimaced.

“I know it’s difficult to ask; you don’t want to bring people into a fight, but there may be some there who want to help. I’ll call Ezra, and we’ll see. Okay?”

Rey nodded solemnly, and Ahsoka tried to call on the Force-users on Endor, but there was no response. She recorded a message for Ezra, and they set off for the Jedi temple to seek out Kylo Ren.

 

* * *

 

Eaton Canady narrowly gazed at the mismatched group standing in a row before him. He scanned slowly from left to right as if he were reading a book, his brain replete with questions because he only knew about half of the words.

If these were all the best code breakers, and they were equally talented, how was this handsomely suited man grouped with this small… creature--he couldn’t tell if it was male or female, and couldn’t name it’s species--who wore rags?

 _Appearances can be deceiving,_ he reminded himself. Plus, this is what the galaxy is like.

He looked again, this time appreciating their differences instead of judging them, and realized he preferred it this way. He had become too used to the clean cut perfection of the First Order; too accustomed to identical soldiers, and he simply needed to change, and open his mind.

“Thank you all for coming. Is everyone aware of why we’re here, and willing to make this sacrifice?”

They all nodded, and most were looking down the row at their peers to see their responses. All but the small creature, who had an all knowing smirk on its face, and a twinkle its eyes behind two large goggles.

“Your task is simple to say, but may be difficult to accomplish. You’ll each be assigned to a squad of my soldiers, who will be dressed as stormtroopers. They'll get you onto the destroyer, and in a safe room where you can connect to the ship’s systems.

“You’ll need to disable all escape vessels, saving your own shuttle, jump the ship to uninhabited space, then shut it down permanently. Any questions?”

The well dressed man took a step forward, his hand half raised. He had a thin goatee, and dark hair with one thick strip of white. One of his eyebrows seemed permanently raised slightly higher than the other, giving him a sanctimonious look.

“Will we be compensated for this service?” he asked, in a pompous tone.

Some of the others seemed offended; they were there as a service to the galaxy. Most of the others nodded their heads, the same question on their minds.

Eaton smirked. He was expecting this question. “Each destroyer has its own bank. You may keep whatever you can steal on your own, and at your own risk.”

The Master Codebreaker nodded, and stepped back into line with the others.

“Any other questions?” Eaton waited, scanning the row once more to see them all shaking their heads to varying degrees. “Good. Let’s get started.”

Eaton organized the pairing of each codebreaker to a troop, and watched as they boarded their shuttles, praying to the galaxy that these slicers were as skilled as they claimed to be.

When the last shuttle lifted off the hangar floor, Eaton sighed heavily, and turned to join the others on the bridge, it was his turn now. His time to take a risk--to help the Rebellion--and if they succeeded, he would earn his freedom. The success of the First Order had always meant a lifetime of service for all in their ranks. Today, citizens of the galaxy, the Rebellion, First Order officers, and stormtroopers alike would join together to fight for the freedom of all.

  
  



	10. Honor and Hope

A modest metal pod dropped into the immaculate Cerean atmosphere, and lowered toward the earth. Light from the sun was a bright contrast to space-- plus the stained sky of Hays Minor he’d experienced early that day-- and Finn held his hand over his eyes.

“Whoa! Is that…? Can’t be. Did we…” Finn spoke in clipped sentences, unsure if Ben was listening, and doubtful.

“What are you saying?” Ben groaned from the floor, half asleep.

“Is this your temple?” Finn asked, looking out the view port at the building. “It’s not what I was expecting,” he admitted, looking back at Ben.

The temple was constructed of lithic white stone, flecked with browns and grays. Large trees grew near to three sides, and wild flowers blossomed in the clearing at the front.

Ben smirked. He assumed Finn was imagining something more like Darth Vader’s castle on Mustafar, and couldn’t deny he’d spent some of his darker days in that space, brooding over past wrongs.

“The native people of Cerea are very particular about the buildings, and how the planet is treated in general. They put the health of their planet above all else, and have even denied technological advancement out of concern for the well being of their home.”

“It’s good of you to respect that,” Finn said, knowing the First Order wasn’t above destroying a planet, and its people, for their own gain.

Once they landed, Finn helped Ben to his feet, and followed him out to the clearing, where they were greeted by several of his Knights. Finn had never seen them without their masks, and was surprised by how normal they appeared.

“Master! What’s going on? We heard the Rebellion is found, and Hux is preparing an attack!” Dani said, hopefully.

“Why aren’t we  _ with _ them?” Reeta asked.

Her emphasis on “with” did not go unnoticed by Ben, but he didn’t comment.

“I need to speak to all of you. Please collect the others and meet me here. Just you Knights; the students should remain inside.”

Reeta, Dani, and Korden nodded, and returned to the temple to retrieve the others.

“They know,” Finn said fearfully. “ I could feel them searching my mind. I tried not to think about…”

“That was me. Sorry,” Ben apologized. “I didn’t consider it before, but I sensed Dani trying and I blocked her. She’s quite powerful. I didn’t… I haven’t paid much attention. Plus, she’s here more than in space. I’ve tried to keep her from Snoke as much as possible, since she followed her sisters onto the First Order shuttle at such a young age.”

“So, you knew Snoke was evil, and dangerous, but you joined him anyway?” Finn said incredulously.

“I was young. I awoke and opened my eyes to see my uncle preparing to murder me. To save myself, I brought the roof down on him, and I thought he was dead. I thought I was alone then. My parents, everyone I knew, would hate me for what I’d done. There was only one person I could turn to, who would teach me to be like my grandfather, and who would keep me safe. Snoke feared, and hated my uncle, so he became my ally.”

Finn gazed thoughtfully into the eyes of his former commander, still reluctant to take his side, and admonishing himself silently for sympathizing with Ben. Rey was right; he wasn’t the purely evil being Poe and Finn often made him out to be. His past was riddle with pain, complexity, and impossible decisions. He did what he believed was right, and what he had to do to survive.

“I’m sorry… that happened to you,” Finn said quietly.

“Thank you,” Ben said sincerely, bowing his head slightly.

When the Knights of Ren stepped outside to join them, Finn and Ben each examined them carefully.

Finn counted first: there were nine total. Two woman, about Ben’s age, lead the group. One wore a delicate dress in a green fabric. It fell around her toes and seemed to blend with the environment around them. The other clashed with their surroundings, all in black, her dark hair in a long braid to one side. Three followed behind, their arms linked, and their dark clothes matching so well it seemed they were connected to the hip of the women in the middle. A young man and woman stepped out together, each dressed in clean clothes like those of the Jedi, then a  man and woman in black brought up the rear. 

Ben stood tall before them, but Finn could see the weakness in his legs. He was still drained from his extensive use of the Force, and Finn wondered why he asked to meet them outside instead of going into the temple to sit.

Ben tried to remember the last time they were all together. Dev and Reeta walked out first. Dev was dressed as the administrator of the temple, and as a teacher. Reeta was dressed for battle, and Ben could tell she was anxious to join the fight.

Hux had stated this would be the final battle between the First Order and those resisting their control. It would go down in history, and Reeta wanted to be part of it.  _ But which side will she choose when I’ve told her the truth?  _ He wondered tentatively.

Kat, Alexia, and Dani came next. _ Kat and Alex are armed with sabers, but Dani only has her practice staff. _

Liss and Korden were prepared for battle as well, dressed in the dark pants and tunic they wore while on missions with Kylo.

Eli and Anaya, who also taught at the temple, were dressed cleanly, but had their lightsabers at the belts.

Ben hoped all would take his side, would follow him as they did the night they’d left Luke’s temple, but he had doubts about more than a few.

“I have a confession, and I wish we had time to discuss this, but we’re running out of time.”

Finn could sense his fear, and performed the check Ben had done as the Knights approached. They were all armed, and he knew Ben was powerful, but he was weakened. Finn extended his fingers at his side to make sure the blaster he’d grabbed in the pod was secure in the holster. 

_ Should I have stayed on the ship? _ Finn wondered.  _ I should have left him behind, and gone back to the Alliance, but… Rey. I’ve got to help him… for Rey. _

“What is it, Kylo?” the woman in green asked, putting her hand on his shoulder familiarly.

“They stood in a loose huddle, in the shade of a tree so tall it stood several yards away, and still managed to protect them from the sun. Finn shifted to put himself outside the circle they created, standing behind Ben and hoping they wouldn’t have to fight their way out of this situation.

“The truth is, I’ve spend some time as leader of the First Order, and I’ve realized I have no desire to keep the position.”

“So… what do you want to do instead?” Alexia asked, curiously.

Others had different ideas in mind. “You want to defect from the First Order?!”

“Where’s your loyalty?”

“I don’t know what I want to do. To be completely honest, when we joined Snoke I was scared, and under the impression I had no other options. I thought Snoke would teach, and support us, and I shared in his desire to destroy the New Republic.”

“And he fulfilled every wish you had,” Liss said calmly. “Why would you choose now, to betray what he built?”

“Because I was angry, and childish… but I’ve learned a lot in the past couple years, and I’ve learned… I was wrong to want those things. I’ve made many mistakes, and I’m sorry I brought you all to Snoke to be humiliated, beaten, and used for your skills, but I’m here now to tell you you’re free. If you want to return to your homes, you can go… or you can stay here and run the temple. It’s up to you. Anything you want… do it.”

Silence hung briefly over them as they gaped at their master, who just delivered the most surprising speech as if it were good news he couldn’t wait to share. Then, all at once, the air erupted with nine voices all responding.

Some asked fair questions about how he had come to this decision, or why. Dev, Eli, and Anaya mentioned nothing would change, as they would continue to run the temple. One asked if he meant to leave Hux in charge, and a few express their anger with him for betraying the First Order.

“Hold on… please. One at a time. Kate, I know…”

A sound like an explosion miles away echoed from above, and they all recognized the sound. Every head tilted back, their eyes searching skyward, and Ben recognized the massive destroyer overhead.

In an instant Ben stepped back from the others, crouched defensively, his saber in hand.

“Which one of you did it? There’s no reason to put the students in danger. Who called them here?!” he demanded in an impressively stable tone.

Ben searched their minds, and though a few were happy to sees Hux’s ship arrive, none had called him there.

_ Which means he knew, and planned to come here without telling me. _

“This is a betrayal. Hux lied to me about his actions. I am still Supreme Leader of the First Order, and if Hux attacks, I expect you all to fight with me to protect our students, and each other.”

“Yes, Master,” most of them agreed without hesitation. Korden, Reeta, and Liss hesitated, but went along with the group.

“Dev, Dani; take the students to safety. If the temple is attacked, I don’t want them trapped inside.”

“But…”

“Go Dani!” Kat insisted.

“Now!” Alexia added.

“Should I return to help?” Dev asked.

Ben turned to face her. “No. They may need you if they’re found.

He spoke with such deliberation, Finn wondered if they were communicating with more than words.

“You know what to do, where to go,” Ben said.

“It doesn’t feel right, leaving you all alone,” Dev replied.

“The students need you,” Ben insisted. “The galaxy may need you. Go now. Hurry.”

Dev frowned, keeping her eyes on Ben as she began to retreat. Finally she nodded, turned away, and rushed toward the temple to begin the evacuation.

“Hey,” Finn said in a low voice, stepping up beside Ben, and nudging his arm with his elbow. “Why does she have to go? If she can help…”

“She’s my oldest friend, maybe my only true friend,” Ben whispered, his eye pleading.

Finn understood immediately, and tears sprang in his eyes as Rey’s face shown as clearly on his mind as if she were standing right in front of him.

He would have done anything to protect Rey. He tried to keep her safe. They stuck her in a prison, and she probably died hating him for it, but he didn’t regret his efforts. Finn only wished they could have spoken about it before Rose set her free.

After a minute of waiting, they saw a shuttle coming their way, then another, and another and… they kept coming. Finn wondered where they intended on landing them all, and why Hux needed so many troopers to take on so few people.

_ The students. _ He didn’t plan on simply taking out the Knights of Ren. He intended to finish Snokes’ work; to kill every known Force-user in the galaxy.

“He wants to rule, completely unopposed. He sees us as his greatest enemy,” Ben explained.

Finn turned, and glowered at Ben. He wasn’t used to having his thoughts read; to having someone answer questions he didn’t speak aloud.

“This is half the First Order he’s brought with him. He’s not taking any chances.”

“Then it’s begun. The other half are attacking the Rebel base now,” Finn said shakily. He fell to his knees, praying that whatever happened, he might see his friends again.

“Don’t give up hope yet,” Ben said.

Finn felt Ben’s firm grip on his shoulder, looked up to see him pointing, and followed his gaze to a point just above the treeline where a saucer-like ship hovered near. His eyes went right to the view port where Rose’s face was pressed against the glass, looking down at him. She hopped up from the chair and ran toward the exit.

Finn stood quickly, waving to her, and Ben couldn’t help but to smile as Finn ran into the forest, waiting for them to land. 

As soon as the ramp dropped, Rose ran down and leapt into Finn’s arms. 

“I thought he…”

“We can talk about that later,” Finn interrupted, returning Rose to her feet, and stepping back to look at her. “I need to get you out of here.”

“And you’ll come with me?” she said doubtfully, following him up the ramp into the ship.

“No. I need to stay and help them.”

“Then I’m staying too,” she told him stubbornly, stashing a few explosives in a pouch, and pulling the strap over her body.

“Rose… I know you have just as much right to join this fight as I do, but I…”

Rose placed her hand on Finn’s cheek, “I won’t leave you to fight alone. I know you want me safe, but…”

“We have a better chance of surviving with your help,” he finished, with confidence in the truth of the words.

Rose smiled. “Exactly. Plus… I brought help,” she said, turning toward the others sitting nearby. “Finn, this is Ezra, Hobie, Cal, and Shūk,” Rose introduced him to the Jedi, and a few of the students he’d been training once Rey dropped him off on Endor months before.

Finn stepped forward to shake each of their hands, then went into captain-mode. “Half of the First Order military will be landing here any second to confront Kylo… Ben, and his Knights of Ren. I’m not sure what will happen, but if there’s a fight, you should be warned: we are vastly outnumbered. No one will blame you for changing your mind, and returning to the safe place you’ve come from.”

They considered briefly, and Finn waited. He met eyes with the older man, and realized he wasn’t weighing his options; his decision was made, and he was simply waiting for the others to decide.

“I can’t speak for the others, but I didn’t expect a fair fight when I followed Rose onto this ship, and I won’t back down know, “ Cal said firmly. The others agreed.

“Okay,” Finn nodded. He thought about what to say next, and nothing occurred, nodded once more, and turned to rejoin Ben; Rose, Chewbacca, and the Jedi following him into battle.

* * *

 

Poe was the last to board his x-wing, and to rise above the mountains, waiting for the First Order to arrive.

_ All we need is for our people to board the shuttles, and be gone before they arrive to bomb us all, and track their escape. _

“Connix, please tell me the shuttles are almost ready.”

“Well…” her anxious response came through, and Poe’s heart sank. 

_ What now? “ _ What?” he asked.

“It seems that many of our members don’t want to run,” she said.

“Don’t…? Run?! It’s… We have to. We don’t stand a chance.”

“They don’t care, sir. We’ve loaded their children onto the transport, some old enough to lead, but the others are all armed, and ready to fight.”

“And if I order them to retreat?”

“I’m afraid you won’t get the obedience you desire,” Connix said, amused.

Poe took deep breaths, hoping to calm his frustration. Then he asked, “And what will you do?”

“I’m going to stay and fight,” Connix replied, confirming his suspicion.

“Fine!” Poe conceded. He looked out of his viewport, using this elevated vantage point to construct a quick plan for the soldiers below. “Get them under the protection of the trees. The First Order will have to land their shuttles in the narrow space between the forest, and the mountain. They’ll think they’re surprising us, and will attack the mountain base, so you can surprise them, and take cover in the forest. They’s only be able to land a few shuttles there, so that should give us a chance of defeating them We’ll take care of the TIEs from up here.”

“Yes, sir,” Connix said, her heart beating fearfully.

Connix gave the shuttle pilot the all clear to depart, and watched as they hovered low over the floor of the hangar, below the stone ceiling of the mountain cave, then lifted into space to land within their one large ship, and escape.

She felt relief, and fear. They were free, they would not be tracked down, and killed by the First Order--but those who had chosen to stay were now trapped. There was no escape, but success or death, and who would believe this small rebellion could face, and defeat the massive First Order?

_ Leia Organa _

Leia faced death and defeat, time and again, and never gave up.

It was time to focus on what they had, and not only who they were up against. Connix thought of this as she stepped outside the base to find those who had remained, wandering aimlessly. She watched as many stood frozen, their faces portraying the fear, and regret they felt for choosing to fight. Some seemed to be psyching themselves up for the battle, while others focused on their weapons; fiddling with their blasters, or counting the explosives they stashed away. 

“Troops!” Connix called loudly to get their attention. “First, I’d like to thank you. This could be our last battle together, whether we win or lose, and I want you to know... it’s been an honor. I informed General Dameron that you’ve chosen to stay, and to face the First Order, and he has assured me that he and his squad will remain as well.  We’ll have the best pilots in the galaxy to protect us from above.

“What we have on the ground is the limited space for the First Order to land their troops. I agree with the instructions General Dameron gave: which is for us to hide in the trees, and attack from behind once they attempt to surprise us within the caves.

“We may not have much time, if our information is correct. Is everyone armed, and ready?”

Many voices called out a confirmation, and Connix nodded firmly. “Alright! Let’s go!” she said, leading them into the forest.

There was an anxious anticipation which haunted the thick air of the forest as they waited, but resolution set in. All knew this was the end. They were going to face down their enemy, and it was on their own terms. They weren’t going to sit at home, and concede as the First Order tightened their grip on the galaxy. They would be fighting to survive, but also for the good of the people. Whether they won or lost this battle on this day, their fight, and their sacrifice, would inspire others to do what was right: could shine the light of hope to those lost in the dark, and that was a sacrifice they were exceeding proud to make.

* * *

 

“Artoo, I may need your help,” Rey said through her comm, staring apprehensively at the ships in the sky, spewing several transports which now dropped toward the surface where she and Ahsoka were headed.

R2D2 beeped his response, confirming he could hear her, and asking what she needed.

“Things have changed, and we may need to get out of here quickly. Can you…?”

R2 interrupted with a series of beeps.

“Uh-oh. Yes… please, but be very careful,” Rey responded.

When they disconnected, Ahsoka smiled, and said, “You wouldn’t believe what that droid has lived through. If we all survive this, remind us and we’ll tell you all kinds of good stories.”

“You said you didn’t like to talk about the past,” Rey reminded her.

“I don’t, but… I’ve realized it’s wrong of me to hoard my stories, especially those where mistakes were made, and lessons learned. And now that I’ve got someone like you to share them with…”

“A padawan?”

“You’re more than that to me now. More like... family.”

Rey jumped toward Ahsoka, squeezing her in an inflexible embrace, and Ahsoka tapped her back gently.

“I’m glad you’re alive,” Ahsoka sniffed tearfully.

“I’m glad you’re alive,” Rey replied, laughing, and backing away.

“To be honest, I’m very lucky to be alive, but I’ll tell you about that another time,” Ahsoka said.

“Yes. Right now, we need to save another member of our family.”

They continued to sneak through the forest, and when they came upon the Millenium Falcon, both stopped and stared, dumbstruck from the sight of the ship.

“How…?”

“What…?”

“What…?” 

“How…?”

“Should we…?” Rey gestured toward the ship and Ahsoka nodded, but appeared unsure.

“No one’s there,” Ahsoka said before they entered. “I don’t sense…”

Rey rushed ahead before Ahsoka finished, and went to the cockpit.

“This chair is positioned for Chewie… and this jacket,” she pulled the small gray jacket from the second chair, and gasped. “No! Rose, what are you…?”

“You think Rose is here?” Ahsoka interjected.

“Yes. She probably came for the same reason we did. Which means…” Rey ran to the common room, and spun in circles to scan it. “No weapons, specifically no Wookiee bowcaster. They must know he’s here, and went out to retrieve him.”

“We can’t know…”

“He’s alive!” Rey said confidently. “Kylo has no reason to kill him. In fact, using him as bait for the Alliance is smart, but he would have to be alive! Let’s go!” Rey said, rushing from the ramp.

“Rey, wait!” Ahsoka shouted.

Rey finally stopped, and listened.

“If we’re going out to face Ren, his Knights, and the First Order, we need you to be focused, calm, and at your best.”

“Ahsoka, I’m ready. You’ve trained me well.”

“Okay, but don’t let revenge be your objective. We should be fighting for a higher cause. Plus, you’re not ready; you’re still blocking the Force.”

Rey nodded, closed her eyes, and breathed deeply, focusing on her goals. Ahsoka was right: revenge for the attempt on her life alone wasn’t enough. Fighting only for her friends wasn’t enough. The First Order had to be defeated for the good of all, and to bring balance back to the Force.

Rey opened her eyes. “I’ll reconnect to the Force when we’re close. I don’t want him to know I’m here… not yet.”

“Rey, are you absolutely sure you want to… go through with that. If you need me to…”

“I’m sure,” Rey said through gritted teeth. They’ve underestimated me for the last time. Her fists clenched, and her frown deepened. I’ll destroy him, and his Knights, and all of it.”

“Rey, that may be easier said than done, once you’re face to face. I just want you to let me know if you need me by your side.”

“I’ll be fine,” Rey assured her, smirking, and placing a hand beneath one blue and white lekku, on her shoulder.

The earth trembled slightly, and both women turned their heads toward the sound of many shuttles landing nearby.

“The First Order has landed. It’s time to go,” Rey said quietly. “Are you sure you want to join this fight?” she asked, giving Ahsoka one last chance to flee.

“It will be an honor to fight beside you, Rey.”

“Then… may the Force be with us,” Rey said as they departed from the Falcon towards the edge of the forest.

* * *

 

Hux led the procession of stormtroopers pouring from the depths of the transports. Those watching from below contemplated their next move as many landed side by side near the temple, and a few others landed behind, where Dev and Dani were headed with the students.

“Chewie, Rose, and I will take these three, and head them off,” Finn told Ben, who was glancing apprehensively in the direction of the Force-users he worked so hard to protect. Finn signaled for the others to follow, and they ran off.

Their timing was fortunate, and they made it past the temple before the troopers formed a closed circle around Ben and his Knights, with Hux sauntering forward slowly, a proud smile on his face.

“What’s the meaning of this, Hux?! Were you not planning on attacking the rebel base? You cannot bring your army to attack the Supreme Leader of the First Order, and expect to get away with it.”

“Funny you should say that, Solo,” Hux said, continuing to approach them. The stormtroopers surrounding The Knights of Ren began pulling out cuffs, and Hux held his hand out to stop them. 

This was his moment; what he’d waited, and prepared for. Years of playing the fool, a tool for the Sith, and the time for Supreme Leader Hux had finally arrived.

Hux was eager, but patient. His heart sped anxiously, but his feet took their time. He looked around, admired the temple, looked up the small incline to the forest, sniffed the fresh air of this healthy planet, then watched gleefully as his army continued to surround the traitor and his minions. 

“Once we’ve disposed of the Rebellion, and these… conspirators… I might make this my home.”

“Good plan, sir,” his second replied in a tone of someone whose nose is stuck to the backside of their superior.

“It’s quite lovely here.”

Ben scoffed, and Hux turned his way as if he were surprise to see him: as if this man was so far beneath him, he wasn’t worth his notice.

“What, Solo? You think me unworthy of your sanctuary?”

“The natives don’t allow your kind here. They respect their planet, and you would only strip it of what makes it lovely.”

“The natives will have to learn to respect me! I am Supreme Leader of the First Order now, and I will have whatever I want,” Hux heaved like a spoiled child.

“You aspire to usurp our master?” Reeta shouted angrily. “We are loyal to the First Order, and Kylo Ren is our leader.”

“He must not have told you of his betrayal, Reeta Ren, because I agree;  _ you _ have always been loyal to the First Order.”

“What are you saying?” Liss asked with calm curiosity.

“Did no one else think it odd when Ren claimed a lowly scavenger girl killed Supreme Leader Snoke, and all his guards, but only left him unconscious?”

“She may have been an untrained scavenger, but she is more powerful than you can understand,” Ben said tensley, Rey’s death still an open wound on his soul.

“And now she’s _dead!_ _Killed_ by a few stormtroopers chasing her down; this girl who supposedly murdered the most powerful living Sith, and his elite guard, alone. Don’t be foolish! It wasn’t the girl who killed our master!”

The Knights cast curious looks in Ben’s direction, their trust shaken.

“Master… did you…?”

“You lie!” Reeta hurled the accusation at Hux, but she wasn’t convinced he was lying, only hated to believe Kylo would kill Snoke. Snoke had been hard on them, but through the years she had grown to love him. “I fought the girl, and I do believe her powerful enough to do as Master Ren has claimed.”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong,” Hux began, waving to a trooper holding a metal case. “I understand the girl  _ was _ powerful.”

The trooper approached, lay the case on one arm, and opened it with the opposite hand to display an array of foreign gadgets. Hux began pulling them out and attaching them one by one to his body. First was a sort of jetpack, with straps he looped through his arms and over his shoulders. Next her grabbed two metal cuffs he clip around his wrists. Last he pulled two blasters from the case, and the trooper closed the lid, and returned to their aircraft.

“In fact, we have proof of her power, and abilities in the recovered security recording from the Supremacy.”

Ben’s heartbeat accelerated, and his eyes narrowed, showing the hostility he felt. He was never good at hiding the emotion in his eyes, and was still surprised Snoke had not seen his anger and concern as he violently scoured Rey’s mind for the memories it maintained.

“Watch now, and see the truth. Realize the lies that placed this traitor in the seat of power he murder our leader to assume.”

Another First Order officer stepped forward with a holocron, and projected a recording in the space over their heads. This angle focused mostly on the area near Snoke’s throne. It showed the lightsaber spin, and the Knights gasped as it ignited, splitting Snoke in two.

“But you don’t have proof it was Kylo who turned the saber!” Liss proclaimed.

“Keep watching,” Hux snarled.

As the others watched, heads tilted back, and eyes searching for absolute proof to Hux’s claims, Ben began contemplating his next move.

_ Should I try to run? The Falcon is nearby, but there’s no way I could make it through the thick wall of troopers, let alone away from the Knights, and the fleet of destroyers above.  _ He hoped the Knights might take his side. They all knew Snoke’s torment, though none but Dev knew the full extent of Ben’s pain; he wouldn’t show his pain or supposed weakness to the others.

Would they understand if he told them he had fallen in love? That Rey was innocent, but Snoke planned to kill her, and Ben couldn’t allow the woman with whom he shared a unique connection be murdered before his eyes, by the callous creature who had ruined his life?

The video finished with Ben standing at the center of the throne room, his hand extended toward Rey, desperation in his eyes as he begged her to join him. His abuser lay bent on his throne in the background, a blur obscured by the gravity of Ben’s pleading words, and the tear rolling down his cheek.

All eyes were on Ben Solo now, waiting for his response. Would he try to deny it? He could share videos of his own; proof of Hux’s disloyalty, and plans to kill both Snoke and Ben, but that was never Ben’s plan, and they had just seen the proof against him. Any opposing proof of Hux’s intentions would seem trivial in the shadow of the murder Ben had committed.

Those who were truly loyal to him would understand, and fight by his side. Those loyal to the First Order.... well… they needed to be exposed, and dealt with anyway, so Hux had done Ben a favor.

His resolve grew stronger in the memory of Rey, and the promise he made at the time of her death. They were all responsible, and anyone who still proclaimed loyalty to the First Order would pay for her death.

* * *

 

Poe sat in his x-wing high above the mountain range of Katera, waiting for the First Order ships to show themselves.

This wasn’t exactly how he had imagined their confrontation to take place. When the First Order initially revealed themselves to the galaxy, the Resistance was new, but powerfully positioned with the support of the New Republic. Poe believed they would destroy this threat, and be done with them for good. He was arrogant, and didn’t realize the strength of the First Order then. No one knew. Many were surprised when they were counting on the Republic fleet to assist, but First Order operatives within the senate left the Resistance vastly outnumber, and they lost most of their best pilots.

Leia was not surprised. She had hoped the plans she set in place would ensure their victory, and would not have authorized the mission if she knew her pilots--some trusted friends she’d known from a young age--would be killed. The actions taken by those in the Republic to stop their fleet from assisting the Resistance revealed them to Leia. She was able to have them apprehended, and to clear the name of a good friend they’d once falsely accused of treason, but she would never forgive herself for the deaths of so many.

Such was the burden of her position; sacrifice and loss. All a means to an end. These soldiers knew the risk they took, and were proud to sacrifice for the greater good, but Leia couldn’t forget the smiles of the young pilots whose fear, cries, and goodbyes were the last she heard through the comms before they were killed.

Poe barely escaped with his life. His commander blocked a shot aimed right at the cockpit of Poe’s x-wing, and Poe sat shocked as the man’s ship exploded, and his voice disappeared from the comm. In his frozen state, BB-8 took control, and returned him safely to the Resistance.

From then on it wasn’t clear to Leia if Poe believed himself a cheater of death, or if his pride, and arrogance, stemmed from his desire to let the First Order be his end, but the chances he took made him one of the best pilots in the galaxy, and a heroic icon for the other pilots in the Resistance fleet.

The death of Poe’s commander would have been his greatest regret of the war, except that he had no say in the man’s sacrifice. If he had a choice, he would not have put his own life above the other’s, but he couldn’t change it now.

Kylo Ren’s attack on the hangar of the Raddus was a near fatal blow to the Resistance, killing many of Poe’s friends, and most of their pilots. Surviving this was another regret that caused Poe pain with each waking hour, but his greatest regret was the lives taken when he ordered his bombing fleet to advance on the dreadnaught the First Order brought to bomb their base. Though everyone believed they would surely have been destroyed had they not taken out the Mandator at that time--especially once they learned they could be tracked through lightspeed--Poe would never forgive himself for the people he lost that day.

Personally, he missed Paige the most. She was the one he’d been closest with; had gotten use to her smile, and the way she teased him. Paige had made each day’s pain and regret more bearable, and not only did he feel responsible for her death, but the last thing he’d done was yell at her. Every time he saw Rose he wanted to fall at her feet, let his tears fall, and apologize, but he didn’t want to cause her additional agony.

So, here he was in the air again, waiting to defend his allies to the best of his ability against this enemy that had claimed the lives of so many he cared for.

Would this be it? Was this his last stand, or would they, once again, barely escape, and lose more than they cared to survive without.

Poe turned his head to look into the cockpits to his left and right. Ca’i and the Force-sensitive Dominique idled nearby, waiting patiently for the onslaught. He wondered what they were thinking. Were they afraid, or numb to the fear as he was; ready and willing to die as long as it meant he could take the enemy down with him? Maybe they were focused on the task ahead, or thinking of the friends and family they fought for.

“BB-8, do you sense anything yet?”

A short beep told him no, and Poe sighed impatiently.

“Okay, bud. Let me know when you do.”

Poe watched as the Rebel fighters lingered below, sneaking from the base to the forest to hide. He frowned, wondering why they weren’t already settled.

“Connix?”

“Yes, Poe?”

“Why aren’t your people ready?”

“They were growing impatient, and some felt they weren’t given enough time to assemble enough of an arsenal, so, they’re sneaking back to grab more.”

“Got it. Just make sure they don’t give away your position.”

“Of course. We have a system,” she assured him.

Poe continued to watch as the rebels passed below like insects crawling indecisively from rock to bush. He had to actively expel the thought of them being crushed like ants beneath the boot of the First Order’s considerably larger troops.

Five trips and returns slowly took place before the leading First Order ship appeared in their atmosphere. It popped into view just as the sixth person disappeared into the cave, and Poe shifted nervously in his seat.

“This is it,” he said over the comm connected to every pilot in the air, and the radio on the ground. “This is what we signed up for. We may seem tiny in comparison to their army, but we are strong and I believe in all of you. You left your homes, and your families to fight for this cause. Some brought them with you, and now have no one to go home to, so we are your family now. Don’t just fight for us, but for every child enslaved by the First Order. For the families you’ve never met, who lost their homes. For our fellow rebels, lost to this war. We fight to snuff out the flame of control the First Order would have spread across the galaxy, but also to keep kindled the lights of those souls we lost. We don’t have to be the biggest or the best in this fight. We only need you; those who are willing to stand up for what is right, no matter the cost. It’s been an honor serving with you.”

Kaydel Ko Connix stood at the forest edge with a droid , coordinating the passage of rebel to and from their mountain base. 

As a soldier stepped up,  prepared to risk trip--and many were, because the First Order had not yet arrived--Connix would ask the droid, “SNC-22, do you sense any incoming ships?”

The droid would confirm there were no ships in their atmosphere, and the rebel would run toward the arched base entrance.

By the third trip, it was a short conversation. 

“Ready?” 

Nod. 

“Twenty-two?” 

“All clear.”

And the runner would take off.

“Hey, Kay.” A rebel by the name of Sam approached, next in line for the run, and arranged his feet, one in front of the other.

“Sam. Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Of course. We’ve got to be well armed if we’re going to stand a chance against the stormtroopers possibly coming our way.”

“You think they’re really coming?” Koo Millham asked, standing second in line. She pushed the sole of one foot against the trunk of an olbio tree, and pushed forward to stretch her calves in preparation for the run.

“Do you doubt it Koo?” Connix asked.

“It just seems like we’ve been waiting a while, but if Finn and Rose heard it from the First Order…”

“Well, at least we’ll be prepared if they do. They won’t expect us to know,” Sam said.

The previous runner appeared at the entrance, ready to return to the forest.

“Twenty-two?”

“All clear.”

Connix waved him back, but instead of sprinting as the others had, he returned with a hurried walk, rolling his feet so the box he carried wasn’t shaken. They all stared, following him as he passed without a word, anxious to set the box of volatile explosives in a safe spot.

“Okay, Sam. Ready?”

Connix received the “All clear,” from the droid, and sent Sam on his way.

“What are you going back for?” Connix asked Koo as she lined up beside her, setting up for the run.

“A photograph,” Koo said.

Connix wasn’t expecting this response, and her reaction made Koo smile.

“I grabbed everything I needed our first trip out. As we’ve waited, I started to think,  _ What if they bomb the base, and I lose everything in there… should we survive this? _ ”

“What’s the photograph of?” Connix asked.

“My father and I,” Koo replied.

Connix smiled, and pulled a small photo from the back pocket of her pants to show Koo.

“You and General Organa?”

Connix nodded, and turned the photo to look for herself. “As a child I idolized her. I asked for this to be taken once I began working directly for her. Leia was always this symbol for so many: a symbol of hope and strength. I was honored to work for her, and to learn she was every bit of what I believed her to be, and more. I carry her with me always.”

“My father was inspiring as well. I don’t want the only photo of him to be buried. If I’m gone, who will remember him, and the great man he was?”

Connix smiled sympathetically with a hand on Koo’s shoulder until the moment was interrupted by a shadow. It didn’t creep across the land, as shadows usually do, like the shade of a cloud covering the sun. In an instant the earth, and trees, and rocks went dark. Connix heard static from her comm, then Poe’s voice.

“They’re here. Stay calm, and hidden until they land. We’ll take care of those,” he added just as a dozen TIE fighters flew from the hangar of the destroyer blocking the sun.

Sam appeared at the cave entrance, and Connix motioned silently for him to stay put.

“Are you sure we shouldn’t get their attention? Sam’s alone in there,” Koo said as starships fired on each other in the air above them, and a transport lowered to the surface of Arcelon.

Connix didn’t reply immediately; she was staring up at the trooper transport which emerged from the larger ship, and figuring the size of the army they would be facing. When the last transport dropped, she said to herself, “Four transports with two squads each, that’s... Okay, everyone,” Connix began in an upbeat tone, “As of right now, we’ve got eighty stormtroopers headed this way. I trust Poe, and his squad, to take care of those in the sky, so I’d say our chances are…”

One loud boom after another reverberated from above, and they looked up to see five additional destroyers arrive. It took longer for Connix to cipher how large an army they would be facing if each of those ships carried the same number of transports, and troops. She only had eighty-two with which to face them, and not all of the were strictly soldiers.

_ Four hundred eighty! _ She thought fretfully.  _ Four hundred eighty against eighty-two. How can we survive? We’ve got the advantage of them only being able to land maybe… six at a time right here, but… _

Connix noticed several soldiers staring at her, and she dropped the hopeless expression to face them boldly. “They have the numbers, but let’s not lose hope. The fight has only just begun, and we won’t survive if we focus only on what we haven’t got. True. we don’t have their numbers, but we won’t have to face them all at once. The galaxy needs us. Let’s set up for our first strike.”

“Commander?”

“Yes, lieutenant Miran?”

Linuel Miran pointed upward to several transports heading toward the town of Katera.

“I doubt they’re heading toward the town,” Connix said. “They’re probably planning to land, and travel through the canyon to support their troops landing here.”

“I agree Commander. I’d like to take a squad to the top of the canyon to blast it, and block their path through.”

Connix’s face lit up. “Yes! Gather volunteers I’ll warn Poe so they can cover you.” She looked up as a mix of TIEs and transports seemed to rain down from the dark metal clouds above.

Then, as quickly as they appeared, and before they were finished unloading the troops they brought to wipe out the Rebel Alliance, the destroyers began to disappear, shot into hyperspace without warning.

Connix and her soldiers gasped, the sound filling the forest, as if all the air was sucked from the area.

“Poe, did you see that?” Connix asked.

“Yeah! What happened?”

“I don’t know. They just… left.”

“Great. Let’s take care of those here as quickly as possible in case they decide to come back.”

“I’m sending a squad to the top of the canyon to block the path through. Can you cover them from TIE attacks?”

“We’ll take care of it.”

Connix realized she still held the picture of herself and Leia, and looked down at the straight faced General, the beginning of a smirk teasing the edge of her lips. 

“May the Force be with you, Poe.”

“And you, Kay.”

* * *

 

“FN-3818, what’s this all about?! We’re in the middle of an attack on the Rebel Alliance!” A First Order commander demanded angrily, rushing toward the shuttle.

“We were on a mission from Leader Ren to apprehend this rebel,” the defected trooper, Steve Evans responded, preceding Maz Kanata on the ramp. “You were the closest ship with a brig, so we’ve brought her here to be detained. She’s quite dangerous.”

The officer passed Captain Evans to see two troopers flanking a minuscule creature, her hands cuffed in front of her, and he frowned. “Doesn’t look dangerous to me.”

“Looks can be deceiving,” Captain Evans replied.

“Fine. These two can escort her to the brig. Be quick about it, then you can join our attack.”

“Commander Canady expects us to return to his ship,” Captain Evans said plainly.

Maz and the masked troopers looked from their leader to the First Order office anxiously, their heads shifting back and forth as they exchanged words. 

“Don’t be foolish. Canady doesn’t need you to return to his ship, just to be taken down from there. We’re all attacking the same location. It doesn’t matter which ship you come from.”

“Well…” Captain Evans began, his mind empty of a response. 

“You will let us pass now,” Maz said, sighing impatiently. 

The officer broke his gaze on the captain, and repeated the orders from Maz, “I will let you pass.”

“You will return to your post, and when we return, you will act as though you don’t see us.”

The officer nodded, turned to leave them, and the three former First Order soldiers stared at her in awe.

“You’re a Jedi?” LX-4171 asked. 

Maz smiled. “The Force does not belong to the Jedi and Sith alone.” She stepped forward to remind them of their task, and they followed; the two troopers still flanked her, and Captain Evans took the lead to show them the way. 

“Well, thank you,” he muttered quietly, “You saved us back there.”

“I just needed to end that conversation. You could have lied and said you’d join them. Once I’m through with this ship, you won’t have to worry about joining their fight.”

“Well, this should do,” Captain Evans said, looking both ways down the hall as he approached a specific door. “There may be a couple officers in here. We were going to knock them out, but if you can use your mind trick again…”

Maz nodded and Captain Evans opened the door, holding it open for Maz to pass through. The room had a wide panel of buttons, and the wall behind it was one large screen. This computer was used to manage the employees on this destroyer; from tracking their movements to scheduling training, meal times, and missions. 

At this time, with every soldier sent to battle, the two techs in charge sat back lazily, waiting for the attack to end. Maz sauntered in casually, stood between them, and raised on hand toward each tech. 

“Congratulations. You’ve been promoted.”

They stood, and said, “We’ve been promoted.”

“Go to your rooms, and do not tell anyone what you’ve seen here.”

They repeated the commands, and left the room.

“Incredible,” Steve Evans said, waving LX-4171 and DN-6293 into the room, and closing the door behind them. He joined Maz at the console, and watched as she swiftly pressed on the keys. It all looked random, but she seemed to be concentrating intently on the task. “I hope this will work. You said to get you to any computer on board. This one is just used for scheduling.”

“This will work. You may want to hold on. I’ve got all ships, aside from ours, neutralized, and I’m about to seize control from the bridge,” she said, pulling a diminutive disk from a pocket attached to her belt, and inserting it into a port on the panel. “Once this virus is uploaded, I’ll jump us to lightspeed, set for the air space above Jakku, and we’ll need to get back to our shuttle to escape as soon as we’ve shifted out.”

Maz quickly clicked at one section of keys on the panel with the fingers on one hand, and all was silent for a moment. They stared, waiting for something to happen, then shouting could be heard down the hall as the computers shut down throughout the ship, and a smile grew on Maz’s face.

“Good. Time to take this ship for a ride.” Maz reached for the panel with both hands and the click-clacking of buttons filled the room, her fingers moving so fast they were a blur over the keys. “Hold on you three,” Maz said, sitting back, and reaching to press one last key as she held onto the arm of the chair with the opposite hand. 

The ship jumped to lightspeed, pulling them all back before they settled into a comfortable steady motion.

“Time to go!” Captain Evans said, dropping his wide smile to replace it with a panicked expression.

They rushed out into the hall, and returned to the hangar, pretending the be upset as all others on the ship were in a state of dismay. No one else thought of escaping at this time. Most troopers were still in TIE fighters over Arceleon, or on the ground. The officers on board frantically panicked, desperate to find the problem and solve it. If Hux heard they left the battle, they could be accused of desertion, and executed. This fear accompanied their trepidation over leaving their soldiers behind, but greatly outweighed it.

They boarded the shuttle, and as soon as the large ship came out of lightspeed, they departed, flying out into space, and making sure to be out of the way of the other destroyers appearing near the one they had hijacked. They watched as other shuttles escaped from the hangars, and waited for the final step in the plan.

“Shall we go join the battle?” Captain Evans asked as his troopers shed their polished white armor for the last time.

“Wait!” Maz said, holding up a finger. “Just…” she was staring out the view port, counting the ships arriving, and frowning as she repeatedly checked her watch, and counted again.

“What is it?” DN-6293 asked, sensing her concern.

“I just want to see. I want to be sure they’re destroyed,” she said. “Last time… well, you know what happened last time.”

They nodded knowingly. Not only had there been many battles to wipe out the Empire once the second  _ Death Star _ was destroyed, and the Empire killed, but the First Order had risen from its ashes. The galaxy was in need of a fair, democratic republic, but if they were going to have peace, they must be free of tyrannical threats.

They could see their allies joining them in space, bringing their shuttles up beside them, and watching as the last destroyer arrived. They watched from a distance, making sure the viruses succeeded in impeding the escape of the First Order ships.

When less than a minute remained before the final step of the plan was executed, they connected to the comms of their companions, and everyone began to count down together.

“Three…two…one!

BOOM!

All at once, explosions rocked the enemy ships, and they watched with bittersweet wonder as they cracked to pieces, and fell into the gravitational pull of the planet below.

“The scavengers of Jakku are going to have a field day,” Maz said, trying to find a positive angle to the destruction.

“All those people…” LX-4171 said sadly, tears falling from her eyes.

A small smiled lifted Maz’s cheeks. “Sympathy from a stormtrooper. That’s a first.”

“Just think of me as a soldier of the galactic republic. If I had chosen to be a stormtrooper, I’d be down there, in the wreckage.”

Maz nodded. “It is sad for so many lives to be lost, but I won’t deny my relief at the destruction of First Order soldiers and ships. There will be death no matter what we do, but by ending the control of evil forces, we have saved more innocent lives than we’ve taken.”

Captain Evans nodded. “I agree. Now, speaking of lives saved, we should get back to Arceleon. Are you ready?”

  
  
  



	11. Reborn

Hux sheathed his blasters, one against each leg; he expected they were unnecessary, but would never enter a fight without them.

“I suppose you know of the war between Mandalorians and the Jedi Order?” He waited for a response, but Ben Solo was unwilling to humor him.

_ Not even a slight nod so I know you’re listening? How uncivil.  _ Hux noticed Ben glancing to a few of his Knights through his peripheral vision and turned his gaze to Reeta, Korden, and Liss Ren. They were seething with anger: a result of the holo recording Hux had showed. _ Good. I was sure of Reeta and Korden’s loyalty, but not of the others. It’s too bad I’ll have to kill them too, in the end. I cannot have any Sith threatening my rule.  _

“Some Mandalorians were quite clever, though most were brutish, and short tempered. Those more… forward thinking, who could see beyond the simple desire for slaughter--who were intelligent and creative-- created weapons to help their warriors fight the Jedi. They lost, of course, but their arsenal has inspired me to create my own, with their ideas as a futile, but firm starting point.

“And you think the weapons you’ve created will help you defeat me, and the Knights of Ren? One man, with a jetpack, and some useful tools to hinder the strike of a laser sword, against seven Force-users?”

“Now, Solo, be realistic,” Hux said, talking to Ben as if he were an ignorant child. “You know not all six of them are with you.”

And at that Korden, Reeta, and Liss couldn’t resist any longer. They stepped from the circle the Knights had created to keep the stormtroopers in their sights, and backed toward Hux, facing Kylo.

“How could you betray us?!” Reeta shouted, disappointed.

“My only betrayal was bringing you all to Snoke, Ree. I’m ready to make things right.”

“Korden, don’t do this. Don’t fight for him,” Eli pleaded. Could they not sense Hux’s plans to destroy them all? Or were they so determined to seem loyal to the side they’d picked long ago, they were in denial of the truth?

“I don’t fight for him, brother. My loyalty is to the First Order; to order and peace throughout the galaxy.”

“You’ll pretend Snoke was your god, who I betrayed, to turn my people against me?” Ben questioned Hux.

“I was always loyal to Snoke, and to the First Order,” Hux responded proudly.

“You lie! You planned to kill Snoke yourself.”

“I would never…”

“You claim you love and respect the First Order, that you care for the galaxy, but all you truly desire is control, to carry out your own agenda. So, you tear others down. You scheme, and betray, and manipulate, but I will not stand by and watch it happen. I cannot stay silent in the face of terror and bigotry.”

“You speak as though you were never one of us,” Korden said darkly.

“I was happy to follow Snoke, when I believed what I was doing was right.”

“It is right!” Reeta insisted. “We fight for justice and peace.”

“No. That’s what we believed at first, but it’s okay to change your mind, to change your allegiance when you realize you’re on the side of tyranny and greed. You’re on the wrong side, but it isn’t too late.”

“They don’t care about doing what’s right,” Kat said bravely. “The only thing those three want is to assert their dominance by way of force.”

“ _ The _ Force, to be more specific,” Alexia added. “They’re just bullies, and they’ll betray us with ease because they think they’re choosing the stronger side.”

“It’s good to know what you really think of us,” Reeta said bitterly.

“Don’t put this on us, Ree,” Ben began.

“No. You like to think we’re all one happy family, but it’s never been that way, Kylo. You were our Master, when you were under Snoke, and  _ you _ betrayed  _ us _ by murdering him.”

_ I loved her!  _ Ben asserted, opening his thoughts to his Knights.  _ I couldn’t take her life. _

But before they could respond, Hux said, “Don’t worry Reeta. Aren’t you always saying they mock you and you wished you could prove you’re the best? Now’s your chance.”

Reeta nodded slowly, a gleam of terrible delight glistening in her eyes.

Ben’s Knights may not have been as skilled as Reeta, but they fought beside her long enough to know her strength, and her tendencies. Each one could tell by the look in her eye that her mind was made up. Reeta wouldn’t light her saber, then announce her intentions. She was always ready, and would attack momentarily.

They lit their sabers in preparation, and Reeta leapt forward, with Korden, and Liss following immediately after. 

Ben focused on Hux, sensing his pleasure in instigating the fight, and knowing he would soon be facing the Grand Admiral and whatever weapons he’s dreamed up to kill him.

* * *

Ahsoka and Rey made it to the edge of the forest as the Knights separated, and watched as they began to fight; leaping from the circle of troopers who were ordered to stay and watch as Hux faced off against Kylo Ren.

“What….?” Ahsoka began as they slid to a halt, and watched the shocking scene unfold before them, “What do we do?”

“I… don’t… know,” Rey said slowly. “Some would say, ‘The enemy of my enemy is my friend,’ but… in this case…”

“We can’t take sides with either opponent,” Ahsoka finished for her.

“So, do we just watch them destroy each other?”

“I don’t know. Are those…? Hux has Mandalorian weapons!” Ahsoka exclaimed, sadness glazing over her eyes as the memory of a lost friend arose unexpectedly. “Do you think Hux stands a chance.”

“I don’t know anything of Mandalorian weapons. I only know Kylo is more powerful than even I’ve witnessed, and only from thoughts I’ve heard in his mind.”

“They’re powerful, but against the grandson of Anakin Skywalker…”

They watched quietly. Rey’s stomach turned anxiously as Kylo spun his saber, and brought it up in a defensive stance.

_ If he kills Hux easily, will the stormtroopers shoot him immediately? Will he be able to stop them all? _

Then the unexpected happened. Kylo Ren raised his saber, and stepped forward to attack, and a light like a whip cracked forward and wrapped around the hilt. Hux yanked back on the whip, and it sliced the hilt in half, barely missing Kylo’s hand.

Rey gasped, her hand raising to cover her mouth, but the destruction of Kylo’s saber was eclipsed by several events all happening at once.

Someone landed a ship nearby and Rey searched the forest, but saw nothing. Then Ahsoka tapped her shoulder and pointed up as several of the First Order ships disappeared, pulled into hyperspace. Then a force of pressure hit Rey, taking her by surprise. It didn’t hurt, but she stepped back from the shock. 

_ What was that? _ she wondered, returning her gaze to the ring of troopers, and stepping forward.

Rey peered out from the thick forest, and watched as Hux attacked, sending shot after shot of an invisible force into Kylo from a blaster like none Rey had ever seen. Each pulse rocked him with pain, and Rey tried, stubbornly, not to care of the anguish he experienced. Their connection was such, at this moment, that she could feel the pressure of the pain inflicted upon him, though not to the extent he knew. Their love had been such that she flinched with each shock, despite the betrayal, proclamations of hate, and desire for revenge upon him.

_ Why isn’t he fighting back?  _ She thought as he crumpled to the ground after another shot. Rey had seen Kylo’s spirit; the fire in his eyes when he’s threatened, driven to fight for his life. She’d seen him wield his saber with the confidence of a man without fear or fault, and witnessed him brawl without the weapon when necessary, but now he only stood and waited to be killed.  _ Where is his fight? Where is his desire to live? _

Something moved in her periphery on the other side of the armored ring, and Rey turned to see Finn run out from behind the temple, with Rose, Ezra, and a few other Force-users close behind.

Rose noticed Rey and concurrently, skidded to a halt, threw her hands up over her mouth, and fell to her knees with tears in her eyes. Finn noticed her fall beside him, and followed her gaze to see Rey stepping out from the forest.

His breath halted with a quick intake, then he hopped forward and jogged toward her, his mouth still agape.

* * *

The soldiers of the New Galactic Republic entered the airspace above Katera--now free of First Order ships-- and looked down at the battle raging below. An explosion at the center a large crevice blew up a cloud of smoke and powdered earth, and as the dust cleared they could see the collapse of many stones, blocking troopers from joining the fight from the other side.

“Let’s go!” LX-4171 said eagerly. “With our help, we’ll end them quickly.

The ex-stormtroopers turned toward their transport and jogged forward, but Maz called after them to halt. “You don’t want to run out their in your white armor, in your First Order transport. If the X-wing pilots don’t take you out, the other rebels will start shooting,” she warned.

“You’re right,” Captain Evans said, thinking quickly. “You contact their General and we’ll figure something out… starting with removing this armor.”

“Yeah. If the rebels can fight without it…” DN-6293 began.

They dropped their armor where they stood and closed in on the transport in the small hangar. LX-4171 noticed a can of paint on the ground nearby and had an idea.

“Grab a brush! We can’t paint it all now, but we’ll mark it quickly, on both sides, so they can identify us. Maz,” she called out, “let them know we’re in the transport with the red stripes. They each took a brush and swiped at an angle, messily marking their transport, then climbed on board to prepare for departure. 

Poe and his group had taken out the last of the TIE fighters not long before, and watched as the transport lowered from the ship. He smiled as the three red lines recalled a not-so-distant memory of another turned stormtrooper he knew, then alerted Connix and the others of the support they would soon be receiving, informing her also of the reason the First Order ships had disappeared from theirs, and every other atmosphere.

“So, we only have to defeat those here, and on Cerea, and they’re gone,” he said, his voice filled with hope.

“It’s finally our time,” Connix said, emotionally. They never knew if success would be within reach of the Resistance, and it seemed even more of a dream to the Rebellion. Now the air around them seemed ripe with victory, and she smiled as she told the others, help was on the way.

* * *

“I thought you were a prisoner,” Rey said as they embraced. 

“We thought you were dead,” Finn replied. 

Rose ran up and pressed herself against Rey’s back, wrapping her arms as far as she could around Rey and Finn together. 

“Are you two responsible for the ships disappearing?” Rey asked quickly.

“No,” Rose responded with an amused chuckle. “It was the soldiers your Ben turned, working with Maz and other codebreakers. I only recently heard from Maz. They’re destroyed. Those who landed here and on Cerea are all that’s left of the First Order.”

“So, all we have to do is…”

“Wait! I’m sorry to interrupt,” Finn began, “but _ how _ are you alive right now?”

Rey pulled away. “The troopers found me, but I escaped. They died, but I…”

“It was Ben!” Finn said quickly. 

They could hear Ben suffering, and noticed Rey flinch slightly with each shock. Hux had, at one point, abandoned the blaster--seeing that Ben was weak, and had no intention of fighting back--and began beating him with his hands and feet. He mocked him; under the impression it was his weapons, his skill, that now rendered his opponent useless. 

“I know. You were right. He sent them to kill me.”

“No! He killed them! That’s why he’s so weak right now. He took me from Hays Minor to keep me safe. We were together when he learned they had you, and he told them to bring you to him, alive. They told us you were dead. They saw your body, and he freaked. He…Rey?”

Rey turned and walked away without another word. No words were necessary; the fervor in her eyes was enough to let Finn know she believed what he said, but there was no time to waste. Ben was in trouble. Ben’s love was real, and Rey would not let him suffer anymore.

Rey reached the outer ring of troopers and threw her hands out, using the Force to knock those closest to her sideways, creating a domino effect with the others spaced out in a circle around Hux and Ben. She stepped through the space she created between tumbled troopers, and extended her hands forward to knock Hux back.

Hux planted one foot back and skidded without falling. He pulled out his blasters and fired several shots at Rey, who quickly pulled both sabers from her belt and deflected the shots toward the First Order ships docked nearby. The stormtroopers lifted themselves from the ground, and Rey’s friends launched forward to take them out. They moved their fight away from Hux, Rey, and Ben, running into the forest for cover.

Rey dropped down before him, and with much effort, Ben struggled to his knees to peer down at Rey as if she had just fought her way back from the dead to be with him. “You’re alive,” he said with a sob and a smile, reaching to hold her face in his hands. She grabbed his forearms, and as soon as they touched, they felt a force field spread out like a clear dome to protect them.

Rey could feel his weakness so potently she wished she could carry him away to rest, but they would not escape Hux’s determined assault; not without capturing or killing him first.

“I thought you were dead,” he cried softly.

Hux buzzed around and over the invisible dome like a frantic insect, desperate to reach the feast within. Frustration maddened his raged gaze as he tested the boundaries of the force field, and failed. He had come so close to certain victory, planned this moment for years; failure was not an option. Rey and Ben could hear his screams, though their protective barrier muffled the sound, giving his voice a far of effect.

“I thought… you sent them to murder me. I thought every word, every action of yours, was a deception,” Rey said. She felt a hint of shame with this confession, but didn’t avert her gaze from the sad brown of the man she loved. How could she doubt his love? How could she ever conceive of her attack being a plan of the one who would kill anyone to protect her? That is what her vision showed her; in the basement of Maz’s castle. Even before they met, an attacker threatened her life, and he didn’t hesitate to kill that person to save her.

“I’m sorry you felt that doubt. It must have been heartbreaking,” he said empathetically. 

“It’s been a rough day,” she quipped with a smirk. “For both of us.”

Ben nodded, and one of his hands slipped from her cheek to the back of her neck, his fingers combing up into her hair.

“We’re going to have to face him eventually,” Rey said, peeking sideways at Hux, who was yelling into a com; something about the ships which had taken off without his permission.

“He can wait,” Ben said. “This day without you...thinking you were gone...felt like years of torture and pain. I know how you love to rush into a fight,” he teased with a dull twinkle in his eyes, “but just let me look at you a moment longer.”

A hint of a nod came from Rey as she examined the sincerity in his eyes. She sometimes doubted, but could conceive of his affection in the truth that was her own regard for Ben.  _ This _ was real. This was true, and had been since the moment the Force had woken within her. Rey and Ben were two halves of a whole: one could survive without the other, but would never feel the completeness they felt when together. Ben had put himself at risk more than once since believing Rey was gone, and not because he believed he alone could stop the First Order. He didn’t fear his own demise as he would with his other there with which to share life and love.

“I’m sorry, Rey. If I had my strength I would end him now... with ease, but I.... Well, I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you, but it could mean the end of me,” he admitted steadily. 

“I don’t need your protection,” Rey insisted, tears streaming down her face. “I just need you to survive.”

“His weapons are powerful. I can’t stand by to let you face him alone.”

“Don’t underestimate my strength, and connection with the Force, my love.”

Ben tried to smile. “I understand your strength better than anyone, but I don’t know that what we have is enough.”

“I…”

“Rey,” he interrupted thickly, “you will not face him alone. Death is the price I’m willing to pay. We will defeat him so you survive this. I’ve dreamed of us together, but I know... even without me, you will live a beautiful life.”

Ben’s composure broke, and he lowered his head. 

Rey couldn’t tell if it was to hide his face, or because he lacked the strength simply to hold it up any longer, but she knew he could still hear her.

“No!” she said indignantly, though it was difficult to argue with a dying man. Would this be the last conversation they ever had? Should she simplify his last moments, and use this time to thank him, and express her love? 

Why had she been so afraid? If she had believed in him before, he would have known she was alive, and would not have wasted his strength. If she had trusted in their love, they’d be fighting together now, instead of saying goodbye.

“I’m so sorry, my beloved,” Rey apologized, leaning down to kiss his forehead, but she wasn’t ready to let him go. “ I  _ will _ not let you die for me. You were right. I will live a beautiful life, and you will live it with me.”

Rey splayed her hand over his face, her fingertips lightly caressing his forehead, cheeks, and chin. She focused in on his consciousness, and used the power he had on her in the forest at Takodana, putting him to sleep.

The force field disappeared in an instant, and the sounds of the forest, the fighting, and Hux came alive around her.

“When I saw the recording, it was clear you two were working together, but this… I did not expect.”

“Ben Solo and I were connected in a way someone like you could never understand,” Rey said angrily. “You will regret ever trying to harm him.”

“Oh. I don’t think so,” Hux said smugly, reaching for the blasters as Rey separated her sabers, and ignited them.

Hux fired several shots in her direction, and she deflected them easily, sending them in to the transports behind him. She then stepped sideways, to keep the blasts he fired her way from missing and hitting Ben.

“Your army is destroyed, Hux. Your ships are now scrap for the scavengers to strip. You’ve lost. You should surrender now, or prepare to be tried for the crimes you’ve committed against the galaxy, among the more personal evils.

“As if your tiny rebellion could destroy my army,” he scoffed. “You must be quite desperate to concoct such a lie.”

Rey shrugged, and Hux tried to surprise her, firing several shots at her chest, but she could sense the decision as he made it, and she blocked them with ease.

When Hux turned his blasters on Ben, Rey was too far away to reach, and to deflect the blasts. She dropped one saber, and reached out with her hand, freezing the shots before they could hit him. Rey quickly used the Force to redirect the shots, and was almost too late to dodge the strike of Hux’s whip.

Hux fired up his jet-pack to lift himself over her head, and flicked the shining whip at her from all directions.

Knowing she couldn’t use her saber to stop it, Rey could only dodge each strike by jumping, rolling, and weaving her way around the weapon as it curled and cracked around her. 

Rey managed a somersault beneath Hux while simultaneously reaching for her second saber. She stood and sliced diagonally in both directions, cutting the jetpack into four pieces.

Hux dropped to his feet, disabled the function of the whip to cut, and quickly spun to face her. He was too close to dodge, and the whip rolled through the air, wrapping around her body, and pinning her arms to her sides. Hux simply smiled triumphantly at having trapped her in a ring of unnatural rope.

“What to do with you now?” Hux said, strutting around Rey. “I could kill you both, and get it over with, but what fun would that be?”

Rey pulled herself up as tall as she could to glare at the man, but was still forced to look up to meet his eye. “But would you have the courage to do it yourself. From what I’ve heard…”

“Silence scum!” Hux commanded, sending a shock through the rope that pained Rey as it tightened more firmly around her.

“I could wait until he wakes, and make you watch as the other dies, but… I’m feeling impatient today, so… I’ll just kill him first… while you watch.”

Hux pulled Rey along as he reached for a blaster, and armed it before pointing it at Ben, leaning forward to press the barrel into Ben’s temple.

“No,” Rey said calmly, knowing now, that her connection to the Force was all that would save them. She had never been more open to it, and connected more thoroughly than ever before. She calmed her thoughts her emotions, breathing in deeply, and focused her concentration on the gun now threatening Ben’s life. 

Rey wasn’t sure if this was a power named, and known by others, but for her, as it had always been, the power came to her of necessity. As Rey reached outward with the Force, she could feel each and every component of the blaster in Hux’s hand, and with her mind she pulled it apart. The pieces broke away, disassembling, and floating outward from the center of the whole it had been a moment ago.

Hux’s eyes widened in wonder as the weapon turned to scrap and floated away from his hand, then dissolved to nothing.

Rey focused next on the hilt of the whip, and felt the release as it too, floated away.

She reached even further, sensing the weapons of those still battling her friends in the forest, and took apart the sabers, shattering the bloody stones to dust before stealing the consciousness from those former Knights of Ren still living.

Rey then summoned her sabers, and crossed them before Hux’s throat. “I told you, you would regret trying to cause him harm.”

“Please. You don’t want to kill me,” Hux said, trying to obscure the panic in his voice with a forced tranquility that only made him sound more afraid. “You’re a Jedi. I’m unarmed. I…” Hux stammer nervously, pleading for his life.

“You’re right,” Rey said quietly. “Death is too easy a punishment for your evil. You will be brought to justice for your crimes.”

“Not by you,” Hux said, pulling the second blaster from his holster, and pointing it between her eyes.

Rey quickly raised her hand to the level of his forehead, and pulled his waking cognizance from it, letting him fall back. She reached toward a pair of cuffs laying several feet away--dropped by one of the troopers toppled over by her force push-- and she pulled Hux’s arms behind his back to latch his wrists before turning to see Chewie and the others run from the forest, confused by the events within the shroud of trees.

“Chewie!” She called with relief. “Ben’s alive, but very weak. Could you please carry him to the  _ Falcon _ . I’ve go to get him to a medic.”

Chewie agreed quickly, and scooped Ben up, cradling him in his arms as he rushed toward the  _ Millennium Falcon _ .

“Ahsoka, I’ve got to go with them. Could you and the other Knights gather these binders, and cuff those who fought against you? I’ll send a Rebel transport to collect you all once I get to Katera.”

Ahsoka nodded and turned to find the other Force users, along with Finn and Rose, had already sprung to action, collected the binders, and distributed them before heading back to the forest to apprehend the others.

“You’re going to be okay,” Rey whispered. She sat on the long padded bench beside Ben’s unconscious body as Chewie lifted the  _ Falcon _ away, and ran her fingers along his forehead, brushing the hair from his brow.

She spoke in quiet whispers, telling him of the future she envisioned for them as they passed planets and stars, until they reached their destination.  She wished her mind was in line with the words, but the inconsistent breathes escaping his lips made her doubt everything would be alright. And when they reached Katera, would the medics agree to assist, or would they stubbornly refuse to treat the man they still saw as their enemy?

* * *

**9 Years Later**

“Master, sorry interrupt, but could you tell me again… about the death of Kylo Ren?”

The Jedi smiled, shuffled slightly to the right to make room for the young Padawan--who reminded her so much of herself at that age-- and patted the open space, offering a seat and agreeing to discuss the story the young girl requested.

“Your name is Poe?”

“Yes, Master,” the girl responded.

It wasn’t uncommon for children born after the battles of Katera and Cerea to be named after the heroes of the rebellion; those who had helped end the First Order.

“The truth, young Poe, is that Kylo Ren never really died. He was the assemblage of the heartbreak and fear that led Ben Solo to choose the dark over the light. He wanted so badly to leave light and compassion, and his pain behind.  He did horrible things in his quest for darkness and apathy, but when it came time to leave the light behind, he couldn’t do it. So, I guess you could say  _ that _ was the beginning of his return toward the light; Ben Solo reborn. Some would say he left Kylo Ren in his past, eventually, and refer to that as the death of Kylo Ren, but no one can forget their past, and their pain. You can learn from it, and learn to live with it. You learn that pain is a part of living, and only through experience you learn not to let your fear of it control you.”

The Padawan thought about this for a few moments, nodded, then turned back and said, “Will you be leaving again soon, Master Solo?”

Rey nodded. “You know we never stay too long. We like to check in, and assist when possible, but I don’t like to stay in one place too long, and the other Master Solo prefers isolation.”

“And I go where she goes,” Ben amended, approaching from behind Rey, and putting his hands on her shoulders.

“Will you come back to our class before you go? I love your stories,” Poe said. 

“Sure,” Rey smiled proudly. “Which one would you like to hear tomorrow?”

“I like the one about destroying Star Killer Base, and…” she paused, looked apprehensively up at Ben, then continued quietly, “when you started using the Force. Especially when you were in the forest and you got the lightsaber.”

“Yes… but we’ll leave out some of the more upsetting parts,” Rey said, the pain of Han’s death still difficult to face. “I’ve got to focus on more… happy memories.”

“My friend wanted to hear about the end of the First Order, and your wedding,” Poe said looking somewhat disgusted. “But I told her, if I’m going to ask, it’s going to be for the story I want to hear. She can come ask herself for that stuff.”

Rey and Ben looked at each other smiling, their eyes alight.

“When will you be back?” Poe asked, interrupting their moment.

“It will be awhile, young Padawan,” Ben said. 

“My pregnancy will soon end, and we’ll spend some time back on Naboo before we begin traveling again,” Rey explained.

“Okay. Well, see you later,” Poe said hastily, joining her friends as they returned to the temple for lessons.

After the war, most of the Knights of Ren who had remained loyal to Ben, chose to work in the temple to train young Force users who chose to become Jedi. Ahsoka and Ezra were among those who taught, and made up the Order in charge of the school.

Finn and Rose were married, and moved to the new capital where Rose opened her own engineering shop, and Finn was general of the army of the New Galactic Republic.

As the New Galactic Republic was rebuilt, and order and peace restored to the galaxy, Ben and Rey left it all behind to explore the galaxy, and did a bit of scavenging on the way. They collected valuable objects for those willing to pay a fair price to have them retrieved, occasionally visiting the temple to ensure the balance or it’s teachings, and to teach a few lessons themselves.

Ben’s crimes, as part of the First Order, were pardoned as a result of the work he did--turning before the end of the war, and making it possible for the Rebellion to gain victory over the First Order--but he kept his distance from heavily populated area, to avoid trouble of the revengeful kind. He could apologize every day for the rest of his life, but that would not appease those harmed or changed by some of the cruel things he’d done, no matter how sincere his regret.

“Why are the kids named Poe always more annoying than the others?”

“Perception,” Rey responded simply. She stood from the short stone wall, bringing Ben over to walk beside her, pulled his arm over her shoulders, and grabbed the hand the rested there.

They walked toward the  _ Falcon _ , and Ben shrugged. “You’re probably right. I hear the name, and his more.. annoying traits become so apparent. His stubbornness, arrogance, pontificating, pretentious…”

“I get it,” Rey interrupted, pulling his arm to stop him.

He walked close behind her as she climbed the ramp to the ship, and they sat together in the cockpit.

Rey sat back, smiling as a small foot kicked from inside, and formed an amorphous bump on her belly.

“Look!” she said frantically as Ben fired up the  _ Falcon’s _ engines, and lifted it into space. They idled high above Cerea as she grabbed his hand and pointed to the spot where she’d seen the baby’s foot press against her.  

“Looks like they’re running out of room in there,” Ben smiled, his eyes twinkling in a way she never could have imagined they would when she’d first grown close to the tortured young man, so many years before. Ben placed his large hand over her belly, covering much of the surface, and used his other hand to prepare for the jump to hyperspace. 

“I thought we were returning to Endor for the night,” Rey said knowingly. They had been staying in a room high in the trees, provided by the Ewoks, while visiting nearby. It was one of Rey’s favorite places in the galaxy, but Ben had other plans.

“We’ll return… but first, I want to take you somewhere.”

“Another surprise?” She asked, her curiosity peaked. “You’ve already had a cottage built for us in the forest of Takodana, shown me the Naberrie home by the lake on Naboo,  _ and  _  given me that lovely heirloom music box.”

“Well, this surprise isn’t really mine.”

“Whose is it?”

“You’ll see, he said with a smirk, shaking his head.

“Where is it?” She asked.

Ben didn’t respond. He simply grabbed her hand, lifted it with his to the control, and pushed them into hyperspace. He lifted her hand from there to his lips, kissed the back, then let them hang between them, still holding hers in his grasp.

Rey remembered the first time she’d flown in the  _ Falcon _ , sitting beside his father, and the first time flying with Ben _.  _ She recalled the tears in his eyes when he said he’d always wanted to captain this ship, followed by the bittersweet confession that it was the first time he’d piloted it alone--without Han.

She reminded him he wasn’t alone; he never would be again.

“I love you,” he said, bringing her mind back to the present.

Rey looked out the viewport as the stars streaked past, and smiled as she said, “I know.”

  
  



End file.
